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Dysthymic Disorder (Chronic Depression)

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Posted

For me, there is a fine line between accepting my diagnosis of dysthymic disorder (which might allow me to relax a bit), and continuing to feel that I have control (which allows me to feel hope that I can overcome this).

Even from my Psychiatrist, there is no clarification. Recently he recommended cognitive therapy, which implys that my depression is due to my inaccurate thoughts and feelings, and that by correcting those, I can aleviate my depression.

So how do I know which is which? How much is an illness that is out of my control, and how much is due to the way I think, which theoretically be corrected.

I am concerned that by believing this is within my control, I jeopardize my ability to accept my illness.

Honestly, I would love to believe that I can overcome this. But the fact that I've spent so many years looking for something I could control in this, I'm inclined to belive that acceptance is the key; I know that I would feel more content if I could accept that dd is a part of who I am....and let go of any expectations of feeling what other people feel.

Does anyone feel what I do...that perhaps we can overcome dd by thinking differently? Do you think there is more serenity to be gained by accepting the diagnosis, and learning to live with it.

I do need help with this....

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I know how you all feel...

I've had DD for the past 7 years, since I was 11... (it's actually mixed depression, arguably the worst kind...) and it's been grinding me down ever since.

My guess is that it is mixed in with a learning disability, Nonverbal Learning Disorder (NLD), which is a cause of endless frustration for me, as of now it is only suspected (actually it's more like a sure thing) by me and not officially diagnosed...

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Posted

For me, there is a fine line between accepting my diagnosis of dysthymic disorder (which might allow me to relax a bit), and continuing to feel that I have control (which allows me to feel hope that I can overcome this).

Even from my Psychiatrist, there is no clarification. Recently he recommended cognitive therapy, which implys that my depression is due to my inaccurate thoughts and feelings, and that by correcting those, I can aleviate my depression.

So how do I know which is which? How much is an illness that is out of my control, and how much is due to the way I think, which theoretically be corrected.

I am concerned that by believing this is within my control, I jeopardize my ability to accept my illness.

Honestly, I would love to believe that I can overcome this. But the fact that I've spent so many years looking for something I could control in this, I'm inclined to belive that acceptance is the key; I know that I would feel more content if I could accept that dd is a part of who I am....and let go of any expectations of feeling what other people feel.

Does anyone feel what I do...that perhaps we can overcome dd by thinking differently? Do you think there is more serenity to be gained by accepting the diagnosis, and learning to live with it.

I do need help with this....

Hi Joyous56,

I kind of look at it like this: I can't cure it by thinking differently, but I can help myself deal with it by fighting the negative thoughts that come with it. It's hard; but it helps a little, and I'll take any improvement at all.

Take care,

d

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Posted

For me, there is a fine line between accepting my diagnosis of dysthymic disorder (which might allow me to relax a bit), and continuing to feel that I have control (which allows me to feel hope that I can overcome this).

Even from my Psychiatrist, there is no clarification. Recently he recommended cognitive therapy, which implys that my depression is due to my inaccurate thoughts and feelings, and that by correcting those, I can aleviate my depression.

So how do I know which is which? How much is an illness that is out of my control, and how much is due to the way I think, which theoretically be corrected.

I am concerned that by believing this is within my control, I jeopardize my ability to accept my illness.

Honestly, I would love to believe that I can overcome this. But the fact that I've spent so many years looking for something I could control in this, I'm inclined to belive that acceptance is the key; I know that I would feel more content if I could accept that dd is a part of who I am....and let go of any expectations of feeling what other people feel.

Does anyone feel what I do...that perhaps we can overcome dd by thinking differently? Do you think there is more serenity to be gained by accepting the diagnosis, and learning to live with it.

I do need help with this....

For me, accepting that I had depression was liberating. I could then begin thinking about it as an illness that I had, and stop thinking that it was something wrong with me. I think one of the major problems with chronic depression as opposed to classic depression is that it becomes part of what we think of as our self. People with classic depression want to get back to feeling the way they did before; people with chronic depression have been depressed for so long that we have incorporated it into our view of ourselves, our personalities.

I don't know how effective cognitive behavior therapy is with dysthymic disorder. It has been relatively effective for me. But I am also on antidepressants now, and that has had a huge impact on me and how I view my depression. When I began feeling different on the meds, then it confirmed for me that I really did have an illness, it was a chemical imbalance in my brain. Did my thinking influence my brain, or did my brain influence my thinking? I'll probably never know. But I know the SSRI I take does help to alleviate my depression.

Am I going to have to always take meds? I don't know - maybe. Will the meds and therapy combination get me to the point where I can discontinue the meds? Again, I don't know.

I guess I think that accepting the diagnosis is important, but I don't want to just accept it and try to live with it. That's what I've been doing for some 25 years and it's not working for me anymore. And I also think that I can alleviate my depression by changing the way I think and feel about things. I guess what I'm saying is that acceptance and overcoming go hand in hand and aren't mutually exclusive.

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Posted

For me, there is a fine line between accepting my diagnosis of dysthymic disorder (which might allow me to relax a bit), and continuing to feel that I have control (which allows me to feel hope that I can overcome this).

Even from my Psychiatrist, there is no clarification. Recently he recommended cognitive therapy, which implys that my depression is due to my inaccurate thoughts and feelings, and that by correcting those, I can aleviate my depression.

So how do I know which is which? How much is an illness that is out of my control, and how much is due to the way I think, which theoretically be corrected.

I am concerned that by believing this is within my control, I jeopardize my ability to accept my illness.

Honestly, I would love to believe that I can overcome this. But the fact that I've spent so many years looking for something I could control in this, I'm inclined to belive that acceptance is the key; I know that I would feel more content if I could accept that dd is a part of who I am....and let go of any expectations of feeling what other people feel.

Does anyone feel what I do...that perhaps we can overcome dd by thinking differently? Do you think there is more serenity to be gained by accepting the diagnosis, and learning to live with it.

I do need help with this....

For me, accepting that I had depression was liberating. I could then begin thinking about it as an illness that I had, and stop thinking that it was something wrong with me. I think one of the major problems with chronic depression as opposed to classic depression is that it becomes part of what we think of as our self. People with classic depression want to get back to feeling the way they did before; people with chronic depression have been depressed for so long that we have incorporated it into our view of ourselves, our personalities.

I don't know how effective cognitive behavior therapy is with dysthymic disorder. It has been relatively effective for me. But I am also on antidepressants now, and that has had a huge impact on me and how I view my depression. When I began feeling different on the meds, then it confirmed for me that I really did have an illness, it was a chemical imbalance in my brain. Did my thinking influence my brain, or did my brain influence my thinking? I'll probably never know. But I know the SSRI I take does help to alleviate my depression.

Am I going to have to always take meds? I don't know - maybe. Will the meds and therapy combination get me to the point where I can discontinue the meds? Again, I don't know.

I guess I think that accepting the diagnosis is important, but I don't want to just accept it and try to live with it. That's what I've been doing for some 25 years and it's not working for me anymore. And I also think that I can alleviate my depression by changing the way I think and feel about things. I guess what I'm saying is that acceptance and overcoming go hand in hand and aren't mutually exclusive.

Hey Guys,

Over the years I sometimes made efforts to stop myself from feeling depressed. However this did not happen very often as in general I had no hope of reaching happiness.

I tried reading some self-improvement books but stopped it soon. I also tried meditating but it was not going too well for me as my mind was too restless. Regarding sex, drugs and video games many times I tried stopping myself from doing it. This would work sometimes but only at the action level and only for a couple of days at most. Then I would give up and surrender to my desires.

I also tried doing various spiritual practices such as meditation, study of spiritual texts, going to churches or temples. But my interest was short lived and I could not find someone who could answer my queries about life and my predicament as well as help me.

After starting spiritual practice under the guidance of SSRF I started feeling a little better. The main thing was that a lot of my doubts were clarified and I received knowledge I could not find in other places. So because of that my hope increased. I started feeling that there is a purpose in life and my thoughts of committing suicide greatly reduced.

Reenu

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Posted

Welcome Reenu!

I noticed this was your first post; I don't know if you've ever joined an online community like this, but I have found it a great help to communicate with other people who deal with what I deal with. "Normal" people who care, do try to understand, but they are limited by there experience....and it makes me feel worse when I reject there well-meaning but misinformed suggestions. This is a mental illness, and they refuse to see me as mentally ill.

I followed a path much like yours, in that I tried to find comfort in spirituality, in the form of the church I grew up in. But I would cry each time I went to the service, because I did not feel the comfort I thought I was supposed to, and I concluded that I just wasn't good enough.

I tried the self help route, and looked to solve each of the problems I had (negativity, pessimism, isolationism, low-self esteem, no romantic relationships), and religion from the time I was 13 till I was 32. Then my husband left, me with a child under 2, saying he realized he never loved me. I worked as hard on that marriage as I had trying to fix myself. At that time, I regarded it as one more failure - a big one - and I gave up, and gave in to the oblivion I found in alcohol.

I know that I was self-medicating; I knew it all along. I knew it was unhealthy and I knew I was becoming an alcoholic, but I didn't care - drinking was the only thing that allowed me to forget about the fact that I didn't want to do anything, with anybody (or without), and although I kept on working (to live), I was only able to do the absolute minimum. My got smaller and smaller. I drank at home, and mostly just enough to keep a steady buzz going.

I did that for the last 18 years, amidst being the best mother I could be. As my son approached college age, I feared what I would become, with no reason at all, no purpose, for even doing the minimum. So I joined AA. I was sober for a year and then hit a major depression. I tried for six months to continue following the path thoroughly, but I finally gave up. Giving up the drink did not seem to have the same results for me that it did for others; I was not happy, joyous, or free.

So I've been struggling, but I have been drinking. I am on meds, and just started therapy (again), and trying to approach things differently. I am looking into Dual Recovery Anonymous...for people with mental or emotional illness along with an addiction.

OH MY GOD! I didn't mean to answer your post by being "all about me". I'm sorry. I could erase this, but I guess maybe I needed to get it out. I will try in the future to be "more about you"....and I'm glad you're here.

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Posted

I never even knew about DD, but now that I read this, it seems like it makes perfect sense that I might suffer from it. It might not seem like a long time, but for over a year now (i'm barely 20) I have just felt more and more empty, pointless, disconnected and hopeless every day.

Things that I used to love, like Karate (got all the way to my black belt before the disinterest set in), Video games, are suddenly so boring and unenjoyable. I can't get any enjoyment out of anything. Nothing has excited me or done anything else for me except give me something to do for almost 2 years now.

I can't even feel excited when I am interacting with others, I don't feel a connection with anyone anymore. I just feel so distant when talking to anyone else, i just don't care about anything they have to say or any conversation I have anymore.

It's all just something more that I have to drag myself through every freakin' day, all I do is just run through the motions.

I have been perscribed anti-depressents, mood stablizers, sleeping pills, and nothing has helped. I just don't know what to do.

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Posted

I have never heard of this until I came to this forum. This does sound like what I may have. I've been "depressed" for most of my life - at least the part I can remember. I'm 24 and have been feeling depressed since I was about 13 or so. I'm not good with dates/memory. A lot of really crappy things in my life have happened over the past decade so I guess I've always sort of figured that I had nothing to be happy about so feeling down all the time was normal.

I do have episodes of major depression - usually every couple of months. I know the season change does affect me a lot - so Oct and Nov have always been my worst months.

I'm going to ask my doc about this.

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Posted

I have recently talked to two friends about my dd, and totally independant of each other, I have gotten the same answer.

My spritual friend, who is much into non-attachment, acceptance and loving kindness has suggested that, although I may be depressed (which he acknowledges he has no practical experience of), I may just need to work on accepting that as a fact of my existance on earth. That through acceptance I may be able to live my life in the context of the depression, but not totally as a result of my depression.

Another friend...a 'mother' figure...who knows about all the therapists I have seen, the meds I have tried, and the extensive searching I have engaged in to find some peace....says that all this sounds exhausing to her. That acceptance may be preferable to all my efforts to change, to enlighten myself, to think more positively, to leave my baggage behind.

Perhaps all that I am is in fact the product of my dysthymia, my baggage, and ultimately my life experience. I tend not to think much about my qualities, but more about my deficiencies. Yet....I know that I often bring comfort to others who suffer...because I've been there, and because I am able to express, articulate, and share my experience. I know that I smile, and say 'please', and 'thank you', and 'I appreciate your help' and 'I hope the rest of your day goes better' ...because I have learned empathy as the result of my dd.

And maybe I just need to let go....and accept....and let go of the guilt and the remorse and most of all the feeling that I can control the depression. This is a new idea, but it has been suggested by two people I have tremendous respect forl

I don't change easily, but the idea of acceptance rings true.

Has anyone else experienced accetance of their depression...and if so, how has it worked for you?

Thank you for whatever you can offer..

Joyce

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Posted (edited)

Welcome to the site elizabeth1...I think my depression probably set in about that time maybe a few years earlier. It is hard to keep track of things from that long ago though.

Joyous, to me my dysthymia is just like a part of my personality...I have no problem with it...I have learned to accept it...though I think after 15yrs it doesn't really feel like something out of the normal. It doesn't really inhibit any part of my life...but maybe it's because I've learned to work with it. What I do find hard is that the normals downs people have put me further into depression, and more succeptable of easily falling into a major depression...which for me is cause for serious concern. I also think sometimes my normal low masks when I'm sliding down...though I'm getting better at this...I think I've become a little hypervigiliant to this of late though.

I think acceptance is great...it will relieve some stress off of you it sounds like...and hell possibly even lift the depression. Changing the way you think (which is not always easy) is a good way to solve some of the mental issues one has. My only concern would be watching out for any major eps of depression...because I think having dysthymia leaves us more at the risk of having a major ep.

Edited by TwilightZephyr

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Posted

Hello,

My name is Cas and I just started here on the forums.

I was diagnosed with DD a while back, but frankly, the diagnosis itself meant nothing to me. For some people, just getting a label is enough to get the wheels turning on treatment/recovery, and that is extremely awesome and I'm glad to hear things are working. :hearts:

For some people, though, the diagnosis only serves to be more confusing. The questions/thoughts that I had in my mind after the diagnosis were something like this:

Okay... so I'm DD... I already knew that, just without the fancy terminology. But what does that really mean? How much of who I am is the DD, and how much is actually ME? Is it my personality that makes me DD, or is my personality like this because of the DD? Is there even a ME underneath the DD, or has it been so deeply engrained in my life that it's shaped a significant portion of who I am?

I suppose the way that I look at it all is this: questions like that will probably always and forever float around in my head, but I don't believe there's really a way to answer them... how is a person to know? Unfortunately, the mind is a gray fog (to me, at least). There is no black and white, no "this chunk of my identity is from the DD, and this chunk over here is who I am uninfluenced by the DD." So for the most part, I kind of just ignore those questions because I have so little energy as it is, why waste it on metaphysical ponderings?

What I have taken from those questions, however, is that there is no chunk of me uninfluenced by the DD. I believe my life is where it is because of having this disorder. Perhaps it would be drastically different without DD, perhaps it wouldn't be too far off. But I can't really know that, can I? Unless you guys are hiding like... a cross-dimensional time machine or something where I can go see alternate universe versions of myself.

Well, are you? :shocked:

Seriously, though... I suppose you can say that I've accepted DD, not that I'm certain my definition of acceptance is the same as some of you who have asked the question... but what I've basically done is said, "okay, this is who I am... and if this DD really is treatable in some way, then theoretically, I will change during/after treatment... does it particularly matter to me if this change is because of the DD or not? No. What matters to me is whether or not I am a happier and better person after those changes. The other thing that matters to me is whether or I can actually make changes that will move me closer to being my ideal self - the happy, successful, good person that I've built up in my mind."

So I suppose what I'm trying to say, in the end of this long ramble (sorry, I'm not very eloquent), is instead of drowning in the sea of questions that you likely have, try to stop and decide what truly matters to you. I think it will be easier to make sense of it all once you've eliminated the questions that you decide either don't really matter in terms of your goals, or are not worth the effort right now in seeking answers to. The questions that are important to you may or may not be similar to questions that are important to other people, but that doesn't matter in the least. You reaching your goals is what matters most.

I hope that helps in some way... to answer questions or give a new perspective or at least to provide another name with which to relate.

I can't say that my thinking on DD has particularly helped me reach my goals as of yet, but it does help keep me treading the water for now.

Thanks,

Cas :bump:

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Posted (edited)

Cas, I'm so glad I ran through your post referring me to this DD link and read through everything here (including your inspiring post of course :hearts: )... you have no idea! :bump: I don't even heard of DD before.

With that said, I feel like all those DD's symptoms are always gonna be a part of me. Like everyone here already said, we can't relate to anyone who said that they want their "old" self back or something like that because we're always be like this... at least for me... since I can't remember! I can't remember how being happy feel like.

Edited by areen_zu

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Posted

Areen_zu,

I'm very glad my link to this thread helped. I was surprised that nobody had mentioned DD in that other thread; perhaps it's not as well-known as I think. I am a psychology major, so I'm surrounded by people that know a lot about abnormal psychology. That sort of throws me off a bit. I've also never really talked to many other people that had similar problems to me, so these forums are throwing me for a loop too in some ways. I'm not really quite sure what may be right to say and what may not be.

I am also in that category of not being able to say "I wish I was my old self," because I can't remember when I wasn't my DD self. What I can say, though, from time to time, is "I wish I was myself when I am happy." But for me, that occurs so sporadically that I can't even pin down what it is that makes me happy. Sometimes I think, "I am happy in this situation right now," but later, if I find myself in that situation again, I may not be happy. In fact, I may be even less happy than I was when I started because I had that hope that it would make me happy again, and then I have to face the disappointment that it didn't.

Does that happen to anyone else? Specifically, do you find yourself in a happy situation and you think you know what factor or factors in that situation are making you happy... and then later you find that those same factor or factors don't make you happy for some reason?

I have this very lost feeling... that I don't know what to do with myself because I gain and lose interests so quickly. I know a symptom of depression in general is inability to concentrate/focus and losing interest in things I once found interest in... but for some reason that's not very comforting.

Anyway, I'm rambling. :hearts:

Thanks for listening,

Cas :bump:

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I am also in that category of not being able to say "I wish I was my old self," because I can't remember when I wasn't my DD self. What I can say, though, from time to time, is "I wish I was myself when I am happy." But for me, that occurs so sporadically that I can't even pin down what it is that makes me happy. Sometimes I think, "I am happy in this situation right now," but later, if I find myself in that situation again, I may not be happy. In fact, I may be even less happy than I was when I started because I had that hope that it would make me happy again, and then I have to face the disappointment that it didn't.

Does that happen to anyone else? Specifically, do you find yourself in a happy situation and you think you know what factor or factors in that situation are making you happy... and then later you find that those same factor or factors don't make you happy for some reason?

I have this very lost feeling... that I don't know what to do with myself because I gain and lose interests so quickly. I know a symptom of depression in general is inability to concentrate/focus and losing interest in things I once found interest in... but for some reason that's not very comforting.

Cas..I know what you are talking about. Exactly. It's like when someone asks me...or suggests that I do....things I'm interested in, or that make me happy...I can't come up with anything that fits in those categories. Because like you said...there are things that made me happy once...but not again. It could well be that when I did it 'again' the dd had an influence...but I'm not sure.

I don't know about your experience...but another problem is that I find that I don't follow through with many things because eventually my depression worsens and I don't enjoy it anymore. So, I feel like I have failed at too many things. And as a result of that...I tend not to pursue new interests, because I don't have much confidence in my ability to succeed...or even follow through.

I thought it might be ADD (and maybe it is), and I went for an evaluation...told I have SEVERE ADD...but I'm not sure I believe that. These therapists, tho well meaning, have very little practical, direct experience of dd...or maybe ADD for that matter. And of course, the ADD specialist may have an ulterior motive of wanting to treat me for...oh, month$ or year$. Am I cynical? You betcha...

The mind is an interesting thing. I sure wish someone understood it and could help me. In the meantime, I think we're on our own.

Joyce

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Posted (edited)

I am also in that category of not being able to say "I wish I was my old self," because I can't remember when I wasn't my DD self. What I can say, though, from time to time, is "I wish I was myself when I am happy." But for me, that occurs so sporadically that I can't even pin down what it is that makes me happy. Sometimes I think, "I am happy in this situation right now," but later, if I find myself in that situation again, I may not be happy. In fact, I may be even less happy than I was when I started because I had that hope that it would make me happy again, and then I have to face the disappointment that it didn't.

Does that happen to anyone else? Specifically, do you find yourself in a happy situation and you think you know what factor or factors in that situation are making you happy... and then later you find that those same factor or factors don't make you happy for some reason?

I have this very lost feeling... that I don't know what to do with myself because I gain and lose interests so quickly. I know a symptom of depression in general is inability to concentrate/focus and losing interest in things I once found interest in... but for some reason that's not very comforting.

Cas..I know what you are talking about. Exactly. It's like when someone asks me...or suggests that I do....things I'm interested in, or that make me happy...I can't come up with anything that fits in those categories. Because like you said...there are things that made me happy once...but not again. It could well be that when I did it 'again' the dd had an influence...but I'm not sure.

I don't know about your experience...but another problem is that I find that I don't follow through with many things because eventually my depression worsens and I don't enjoy it anymore. So, I feel like I have failed at too many things. And as a result of that...I tend not to pursue new interests, because I don't have much confidence in my ability to succeed...or even follow through.

I thought it might be ADD (and maybe it is), and I went for an evaluation...told I have SEVERE ADD...but I'm not sure I believe that. These therapists, tho well meaning, have very little practical, direct experience of dd...or maybe ADD for that matter. And of course, the ADD specialist may have an ulterior motive of wanting to treat me for...oh, month$ or year$. Am I cynical? You betcha...

The mind is an interesting thing. I sure wish someone understood it and could help me. In the meantime, I think we're on our own.

Joyce

Omg!!! :hearts: I can relate to both of you there VERY much, you have no idea! I couldn't explain it better... thanks for letting me know that I'm not alone. That's very comforting, at least a little.

And, to answer your question there Cas... YES! All the time!

Edited by Areen
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((((((((Areen))))))))) :bump:

I hope you feel better soon :shocked:

SN :hearts:

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(((((((SN)))))))

Thanks!

I feel better today... sort of... DF helps me a lot... that's for sure! :hearts: And, thanks to all my friends here in DF (you know who you are :p)... I can't survive without you guys!!!

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I feel better today... sort of... DF helps me a lot... that's for sure! :hearts: And, thanks to all my friends here in DF (you know who you are :p)... I can't survive without you guys!!!

Areen...I'm so glad you feel better. But I've been meaning to tell you that I'm worried about your cat.......

There is some truth in the phrase "Misery loves company". Here it is true in the post positive sense. Out in the world I feel like such a mope. But here I feel relatively normal, and can actually smile at what I read.

Thanks for being here!

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I feel better today... sort of... DF helps me a lot... that's for sure! :hearts: And, thanks to all my friends here in DF (you know who you are :p)... I can't survive without you guys!!!

Areen...I'm so glad you feel better. But I've been meaning to tell you that I'm worried about your cat.......

There is some truth in the phrase "Misery loves company". Here it is true in the post positive sense. Out in the world I feel like such a mope. But here I feel relatively normal, and can actually smile at what I read.

Thanks for being here!

LOL My cat is fine there, don't worry :tongue:

True!!! I feel so normal here I can talk about a lot of things which stucked in my head for so long already... I can't imagine myself talking to let say my friends about all of this stuff, they just don't get it... never will!

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hey lupis, not only am i blessed with this lovely disorder, but ever since its taken hold of me, i've used that EXACT quote to describe my daily grind.

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Posted (edited)

For me, there is a fine line between accepting my diagnosis of dysthymic disorder (which might allow me to relax a bit), and continuing to feel that I have control (which allows me to feel hope that I can overcome this).

Even from my Psychiatrist, there is no clarification. Recently he recommended cognitive therapy, which implys that my depression is due to my inaccurate thoughts and feelings, and that by correcting those, I can aleviate my depression.

So how do I know which is which? How much is an illness that is out of my control, and how much is due to the way I think, which theoretically be corrected.

I am concerned that by believing this is within my control, I jeopardize my ability to accept my illness.

Honestly, I would love to believe that I can overcome this. But the fact that I've spent so many years looking for something I could control in this, I'm inclined to belive that acceptance is the key; I know that I would feel more content if I could accept that dd is a part of who I am....and let go of any expectations of feeling what other people feel.

Does anyone feel what I do...that perhaps we can overcome dd by thinking differently? Do you think there is more serenity to be gained by accepting the diagnosis, and learning to live with it.

I do need help with this....

For me, accepting that I had depression was liberating. I could then begin thinking about it as an illness that I had, and stop thinking that it was something wrong with me. I think one of the major problems with chronic depression as opposed to classic depression is that it becomes part of what we think of as our self. People with classic depression want to get back to feeling the way they did before; people with chronic depression have been depressed for so long that we have incorporated it into our view of ourselves, our personalities.

I don't know how effective cognitive behavior therapy is with dysthymic disorder. It has been relatively effective for me. But I am also on antidepressants now, and that has had a huge impact on me and how I view my depression. When I began feeling different on the meds, then it confirmed for me that I really did have an illness, it was a chemical imbalance in my brain. Did my thinking influence my brain, or did my brain influence my thinking? I'll probably never know. But I know the SSRI I take does help to alleviate my depression.

Am I going to have to always take meds? I don't know - maybe. Will the meds and therapy combination get me to the point where I can discontinue the meds? Again, I don't know.

I guess I think that accepting the diagnosis is important, but I don't want to just accept it and try to live with it. That's what I've been doing for some 25 years and it's not working for me anymore. And I also think that I can alleviate my depression by changing the way I think and feel about things. I guess what I'm saying is that acceptance and overcoming go hand in hand and aren't mutually exclusive.

Hey Guys,

Over the years I sometimes made efforts to stop myself from feeling depressed. However this did not happen very often as in general I had no hope of reaching happiness.

I tried reading some self-improvement books but stopped it soon. I also tried meditating but it was not going too well for me as my mind was too restless. Regarding sex, drugs and video games many times I tried stopping myself from doing it. This would work sometimes but only at the action level and only for a couple of days at most. Then I would give up and surrender to my desires.

I also tried doing various spiritual practices such as meditation, study of spiritual texts, going to churches or temples. But my interest was short lived and I could not find someone who could answer my queries about life and my predicament as well as help me.

After starting spiritual practice under the guidance of SSRF I started feeling a little better. The main thing was that a lot of my doubts were clarified and I received knowledge I could not find in other places. So because of that my hope increased. I started feeling that there is a purpose in life and my thoughts of committing suicide greatly reduced.

Reenu

Some very good post's in here. Thank you all.

I am 35 yrs old, and it was not until this week that I realized that I have had this illness for almost my entire life. Like other's have said, it is a huge relief knowing that this is an illness, and there is hope. If I have to stay on meds my entire life, I would not care. As I begin treatment I just want to start by having one single day, that was slightly better than the last.

I can best remeber becomming seriouly depressed my freshman yr. of college, no coincidence that my parents marriage was ending, but I believe I beagn suffering from this at an early age. My fathers job required us to live in remote parts of the world, Africa, Central and South America. I never had a stable childhood, and as I grew older I found it harder to move on. Every social setting I have been in, people have had the same crtitism of my "poor" attitude. It did not help that I was always over achieving in sports, business etc... People just could not emphatize with my depression. I think my wife thought she was marrying a very storing and determined man.

My mother had serious mental illness. She tried ******* her self numerous times, it made me skeptical of medication and treatment until now. I fought depression on my own for many yrs. I self medicatted by smoking alot of pan for many yrs. This did not help. Lately I have had to cope with fatherhood, loss of a career, and being the victim of a serious financial crime. I am at my limit.

It has taken me 6 months to paint a single room. I have mild suicidal thought from time to time, nothing serious, but as someone else stated, the thought is almost a reief of some kind. Thank God for my two beuatiful children, they me give reason to fight it.

This thing grinds on you for so long. My recent reading in here suggests long term suffering and the stress related to it, leads to an imabalnce of sorts in the brain. I totally have felt that change over the yrs. The amount of stress I have been under is mind numbing. Literally. Combined with the fact that I have always fought depresion I feel like a zombie.

I am fighting to hold on to what I have left. My marriage, my children, and what material things I have left. I just hope to God that I can get better and realize what we all should, we have a reason to live, to be happy. There is so much out there in life to enjoy. Forget material possesions, forget the rat race, just find a way to live happily anyway you can. That is the greatest gift of all. Not even winning the lottery could replace beating this illness.

Be happy, anyway you can.

Tim

Edited by Tim12345

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Posted

Wow, Tim! Very inspiring! Thanks.

:hearts: to board, by the way... :bump:

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Posted

I have mild suicidal thought from time to time, nothing serious, but as someone else stated, the thought is almost a reief of some kind.

I can't resist myself to comment on this one. Here is my favorite quote...

By means of the THOUGHT of suicide, one gets through many a bad night...

-Neitsche

Good luck to you Tim... I can relate to you very much.

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Posted

Its like this dialog from the movie office space,

Peter: So I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that's on the worst day of my life.

Dr. Swanson: What about today? Is today the worst day of your life?

Peter: Yeah...

Dr. Dwanson: Wow, that's messed up.

LOL Yeah Lupus, I like this quote very much. Sooo true! :p

Here is my quote...

Dysthymia... how's it like?

Same s***... different day. Everyday.

Oookay! I've been stalking this thread way too much! I better go now lol

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Posted

Same s***... different day. Everyday.

SSDD...

DREAMCATCHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*leaves after her quick Stephen King moment"

I'm sorry for going OT. But although I show some syptoms of DD, I'd rather not talk about that but wish you all good luck on your way of recovery. I hope everything goes well for you. And Reen, you'll be good :)

God bless you all.

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