Hello, just wanted to chime in with a little biochemistry behind depression as you requested. Our brains produce certain hormones that are uplifting and energizing and effect our positivity. They are called seratonins and dopeamines. *clinically depressed* people like myself have *genetically* low happy hormones. Often it is genetic and can be traced back to either mom or dads side of the family, and in my case I got a double dose of bad genes from both sides of the family (*sigh* thanks mom and dad...). Anyway this can strike anyone at any age. People in older times had shorter life-spans before better medicine and the life expectancy gets lower and lower the further back in the past you go even back to cavemen days and their life spans were probably in the early 30's as an average. So our brains tend to give out on producing happy hormones especially around that time, some people earlier in life, some later in life.
Once man controlled his environment, selective breeding and evolution halted for us. Its no matter an option of survival of the fitest, so our brains stopped evolving once environmental pressures were off because now we control our environment. So I think the seratonins and dopeamines kinda got left behind as we medically extended our life-spans. Anyway if diagnosed with clinical depression, it only take one small pill in the morning to boost those happy hormones up and think more positively, feel more energized, and find pleasure in life, when depression hits and those hormones are low then you dont get those high feelings anymore and nothing gives you pleasure in life as before, you get nervous and anxy and think in negative terms which is unhealthy for you both physically and mentally. If you are not seeking professional medical advice I suggest you do so as you may have *clinical depression*.
There is also *situational* depression (I am sure there are other forms of depression but this are generally considered the two major ones) and situational depression means that you are being stressed out by work, a bad relationship, death of a loved one, death of a beloved pet, etc...) and this are often temporary and after the situation is removed you can overcome the depression and phase off an AD.
I hope this helps, its kinda in layman terms and not as thorough as others might offer. Good Luck and if feeling depressed as it sounds like it, please get some medical assistance and/or talk therapy. If you are on medications then I would seek a re-evaluation of them as they dont sound like they are working as they should.
I think, what goes on in there, is very much to do with how the person has come through life! lets face it; life conditions you to be the person you are; all your wishes, plans, good times, bad times, gains and losses etc.
Why do we not want to do things we normally enjoy? i find that part of it is that either i cant be bothered; when i'm depressed, everything is an effort, a real effort, and most times i dont want to be bothered.
Depending on what it is, i sometimes feel that the thing (whatever it is) might make me morbid, morose or make me feel worse. Its like, i'm not allowed to enjoy myself, not allowed to smile, laugh or be happy. I know its all thoughts but its how i am in depression. Another angle could be that i dont want to do a thing because i dont want to be hurt, or want the occasion marred, tarnished etc.
I tend to find that all my good things to do; i wont do when i'm down, because i want to keep them in safekeeping and not spoil them, so that i can go back one day and enjoy it again.
My depression makes me feel like theres a big black cloud over me, and try as i might, i cant get away from it! Its oppresive, i want to run away from it; often what i'll do is go and sit with other people if i've been sitting myself, rather than feeling lost that way. Like safety in numbers, i feel safer around people when i'm like that. I remember being in hospital (a few times) and this big black cloud would come over me; i had to get up and walk away quickly, get outta there and go anywhere that there are people!
I tend to see my depression as a feeling of sheer hopelessness, desperation, apathy even. It exhausts me, makes me tired out, makes me very hungry or not hungry at all! makes me feel cold and desolate and miserable. I dont want to do "that" because my inner being says NO, i'm not allowed to enjoy anything; sheer misery. Its like just "switching off" and becoming insular, almost, escaping from whats going on around me, into my own isolated world.
Like "id rather just sit here all miserable and down, just for the sake of it"! because thats how i am at the time.
I LONG for someone to reach out and turn on the light, take my hand and lead me to better times, to give me a hug and comfort me shield me from my surrounding rampage! It doesnt happen though.
My recent spell of depression, was rough, but although my doctor had referred me for counselling, it was a long time in coming; not helped by the fact that it was during the festive holiday season, but i had a feeling that it was gonna take a while to come! So what do i do in the meantime? sit and recede into my own dark dreary misery? I couldnt do that; there were days i felt so desperate, that i was gonna go mad! yes the big black cloud was around again!
I helped myself!
I tried The Samaritans (in other countries theyre known as the befrienders), did two, 2 hour visits, phoned "breathing space" and talked to someone on the phone, not my prefered way; i prefer face-t-face, but it DID help; they gave me good links to helpfull websites, and i did try them. It was "Breathing Space" that helped me again; they gave me a very helpfull link to a very good service which WILL help me!
Basically, i got tired of waiting for the bus, and decided to start walking on my own! I expect to make a good recovery and even be a better person in 2011. I know whats wrong, and i'm going to get help with it, i know its not going to be all easy, it might even be painfull at times! (it more than probably will be), but i'm prepared to stick it out, and get my problem addressed fully! Someone at work suggested that if i feel okay now, do i need to go for the counselling??
Yes, i do; or i will just get this back every year at the same time; i really cant do that; my "baggage" is too heavy for me now, and i'm getting too old and tired of carrying it any further! I will NOT take it to 2012! it will finish me if i do!
NO; i'm going to make the best recovery i can this time and get it all dealt with. Its not a resolution, i dont belive in those; its what i have to do for ME!
All the very best to all my friends on DF, a happy new year to you all; and i wish you all the best of health, that you will be able to be all you can be in this new year we are about to enter! Markh.
"Golf; a perfect way to ruin a good walk". Winston Churchill.
" You may fire at will!"
"which one's will sir; do you know these people??"