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I'm Tired Of Being Tired/unmotivated/miserable All The Time


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#1 Kalla

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Posted 12 December 2010 - 03:23 PM

The last few months have been rough for me. Graduating from college, moving to a new city, being away from family and friends, and getting a job. I've had a lot of ups and downs and I'm tired of this emotional rollercoaster. Lots of days I wake up, go to work, come home, eat dinner, and go to sleep, and I feel like falling apart in-between it all. I'm grateful for my new job, because it pays the bills, but I am very miserable there. I won't go into major detail but it's a very depressing job. Some days I have to fight to even get through the doors and often times I just want to get up and leave. But I know I have to stick with it for the time being and figure out how to boost my motivation and reasons for continuing on.

So a few days ago I started thinking about ways to boost my mood and an "action plan" to getting through this rough patch in my life. I wanted to share it with everyone because 1) I think it will help keep me on track and 2) I would love to hear how other people get through their own difficult circumstances whether it's school, work, family problems, etc. I think motivation and energy is something many people with depression/anxiety/mental health issues struggle with so feel free to share too! :cool:


1. Looking at my job in a more positive light. Though the pay isn't that great, it still comes with benefits and a great time-off package. Even though it's not my dream job, I can still gain valuable experience as it's my first "real job" and it's something to put on my resume. Even though I don't really like my boss (she makes me feel uncomfortable and nervous), and even some of my co-workers (they are a bit stuck up and hard to talk to), it could be where I used to work where my boss was awful and so were my co-workers so at least it's several steps up from that! And best yet - it's my first and certainly not my last job. I won't be there forever! So I guess just boosting my positive self-talk and not focusing on the negatives all the time.

2. Getting more enthusiastic about the job. This is the hardest one for me. I find it difficult to see the "big picture" of the job at this point. This is probably because I am still new to the job and still learning. But also because I'm really not too interested in the work being done. I get my work done in a timely manner but it's stressful and done very robotically. I feel like tasks are burdens instead of interesting learning experiences. So now I will come to work with a smile on my face and an enthusiasm to get the job done. I am going to make daily goals for myself and expect the best I can do. Kind of like competing against myself...and creating a rewards system. "If I get XYZ done before lunchtime, I'll take a 15-minute walk during my lunch break...or treat myself to a coffee at Starbucks...or grab a snack from the vending machine...etc" I know this doesn't really help with my interest in the job but it makes it more interesting for me TO DO so to speak. Maybe I should work on this one more? :blush21:

3. Having something to look forward to. Especially when I get home at night. I hate bringing my work home with me emotionally. So I'm making a deal with myself that the second I walk out those doors, I'm not going to ruminate on the day over and over again in my head. I'm going to go home and treat myself to something nice - a hot tub bath, a funny movie, playing some video games, reading a good book, talking to a close friend, etc...Anything to rejuvenate for the next day. No more of this "I can't wait until it's Friday" business or dreading the next day. I find that type of thinking is depressing and gets me nowhere.

4. Doing something intellectually stimulating. I'm not in my field of interest, so I've decided I am going to read interesting books and get my certification or join a professional organization. Anything to build on my skills and keep me focused on my true passions.

5. Getting involved. I go to Church every week, and I try to post here at DF regularly, but I'd like to get more involved in my community. I've been looking for places to volunteer at but I haven't made a committment yet. So finding a place I can volunteer with for a weekend or 2 out of the month would be great. Not only would I be givng back, I will also be meeting more people in the city.


That's all I can think of for now. Thanks for reading and like I said, feel free to post your own motivators! I'd love to hear them :flowers:

"Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light."


#2 Black Dragon

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Posted 12 December 2010 - 04:14 PM

Looks like you've got a plan to try and better your situation. Good luck hun :).

#3 Trace

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Posted 13 December 2010 - 07:59 AM

Hi Kalla

It is really good that you have put together a plan. It can be a great help and can help you find motivation. Good Luck and I am sure that you can get through it one step at a time.

Trace
Listen in deep silence. Be very still and open your mind.... Sink deep into the peace that waits for you beyond the frantic, riotous thoughts and sights and sounds of this insane world. - A course of miracles.

True beauty must come, must be grown, from within.... - Ralph W Trine.



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#4 lindahurt

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Posted 13 December 2010 - 08:09 AM

Hi Kalla,

I want to encourage you to continue on this road to success. You have a wonderful plan of action and you are sure to succeed. You have the attitude and determination will take you many places. Your post will help and encourage many others

Lindahurt

Edited by lindahurt, 13 December 2010 - 08:09 AM.

Even in the most horrific of situations, one's attitude has an enormous role in shaping what happens ~ Viktor Frankl
In you lies the power to choose, to commit - Stephen Convey

 
The kind of person you want to become is greatly influence by your inner decisions, and not from outside influence alone. We can even under adverse circumstances, decide what shall become of us ~ Brian C. Stiller



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#5 Rosegirl

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Posted 13 December 2010 - 04:21 PM

Very good, very good, Kalla! I used to have one. It functioned for years, then something very bad happened to me and I lost track. I'm trying to find a way back to what once functioned (now with some adjustments). I'm not willing to give up!

Good luck!

It is well to be up before daybreak,

for such habits contribute to health, wealth, and wisdom. (Aristotle)

 

The things that we pray for, good Lord,
give us your grace to work for.
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St. Thomas More)


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#6 shyfelyne

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Posted 13 December 2010 - 05:53 PM

I think it is a great plan. I am planning on making a plan, but I can't even get myself to the stupid doctors & reschedule missed appointments. This is unmotivated even for me & I am the epitome of laziness even on my best days.

Stick with it. Just having one & having it laid out is likely to do some unconscious good because it has been solidified in that gray matter.

Let us know how it goes. And I know you were kind of dodging around it for probably personal reasons, but what is it you do? Tell me to mind my business if you like. I am just curious.
{INTENTIONALLY LEFT BLANK AS I CAN'T COME UP WITH ANYTHING CLEVER}

#7 Kalla

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Posted 13 December 2010 - 07:30 PM

Thank you very much everyone :) I appreciate the kind words and support. I'm trying not to overburden myself with my plan - in the past, I have made a whole detailed action plan with every little step laid out all at once and it was a disaster. I felt too pressured and it just didn't work. So I am going to do smaller things like this and work my way up. I'm really trying to boost my emotional and mental health before I start work on my physical health (going back to eating right, drinking water, walking, cutting down on alcohol (I drink 1 alcohol a night), etc). So this whole plan won't be laid out at once, but over the next few months, and then expanded upon in time. I will try to keep you all updated as much as possible.

Shy: I'm sorry to hear that. I don't believe it's lazyness though - it's depression. Depression makes me "lazy" too, but it's really not laziness - depression zaps my energy and motivation to begin with. I really had to do small, baby steps to get things functional again. Small, fail-proof ways to get myself motivated and confident again.

As for my job, I don't like to give too much detail as I'm afraid someone may realize who I am...total paranoid thinking I know! The odds are very unlikely anyone would know who I am, but basically, I'm an assistant to a Director of an organization. It's low pay, entry level, and not what I thought I'd be doing out of college. It's been depressing me lately and even though I do my best, and my boss said I'm doing a great job, I feel like it's just not a good fit and that there are a lot of not-so-great elements to it. I'd go into more detail but it would be an essay and not productive :) But my anxiety and depression kick into full gear when I'm there, though it's been getting slightly better as time goes on. I just need to focus on those positives and chug along!

"Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light."


#8 beautiful sky

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Posted 13 December 2010 - 10:37 PM

I think it is a great plan. I am planning on making a plan, but I can't even get myself to the stupid doctors & reschedule missed appointments. This is unmotivated even for me & I am the epitome of laziness even on my best days.

Stick with it. Just having one & having it laid out is likely to do some unconscious good because it has been solidified in that gray matter.

Let us know how it goes. And I know you were kind of dodging around it for probably personal reasons, but what is it you do? Tell me to mind my business if you like. I am just curious.


I am sorry that you are having trouble getting motivated to get things done lately. I just had a really crappy day today. Only reason I got out of bed at all was that I have invited a friend over for dinner days ago and I knew she would be mad if I canceled.

#9 Shuvee

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Posted 15 December 2010 - 11:50 PM

That's a really terrific and realistic plan. I might just use it for myself.
"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars" ~Oscar Wilde

#10 Evan

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Posted 02 January 2011 - 12:01 AM

Hope it works out for you! Let us know

#11 Kalla

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Posted 02 January 2011 - 02:25 PM

Hi again everyone :) I hope you all had a nice holiday and New Years. Happy 2011!

The holidays really hit me hard emotionally - a lot of family troubles and tension kept me from enjoying the season. I'd rather not rehash it but it was so hard to keep my action plan, though I did the best I could and now I am back to keeping my positive outlook. Because of this, and feeling sick with a cold, it's been hard for me to update on my progress.

To give you some updates (what I have done thus far):
  • Got a library card and started reading again
  • Planned out fun items to do after work (talking to a good friend, reading, listening to music, watching a funny movie/tv show, playing a video game, etc)
  • Not freaking out (so much) at my job - keeping calm and not taking things I do wrong too personally
  • Starting a blog on my area of interest as a hobby
  • Organizing and cleaning my room

Some things I still need to work on:
  • Eating healthier and drinking more water
  • Volunteering somewhere and donating monthly to a charity
  • Attending Church more (holiday season was busy and I was sick today - but I hope to attend Church weekly soon)
  • Joining a professional organization and getting my certification
  • Applying for grad school (right now my focus is taking the GRE)
  • Looking at my job in a more positive light - still struggling with this one...so hard to get enthusiastic about it!

Hope everyone is doing well! :flowers:

Edited by Kalla, 02 January 2011 - 02:26 PM.

"Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light."


#12 Nefret

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Posted 03 January 2011 - 02:35 AM

Kalla !!!! Way to go girl !!!! Sorry, I guess I am presuming you are a girl, please excuze me if I am wrong about that!! :confusedread:

ANyway, you sound like you have great insight to your particular situation and have made a plan of action to get out of it! That in itself is just brilliant!

I have depression, and it sure can zap the energy out of me especially durign the cold winter months, as I am from southern Ontario, Canada....sometimes for me these last few weeks, it takes all the mustering I have to just take a shower....and as you stated....it is not laziness...there is a thousand things I would like to do...but......

Perhaps I can make my own plan of action, tailored to my situation etc.....you have given me a great idea....I am a person who is goal oriented and so this what you are doing, is right up my alley!

Thanks, and hope you come by my side of town sometime when you have a minute! :smilingteeth:

And a happy new year to you!!

-Nefret

#13 Kalla

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Posted 04 January 2011 - 07:02 PM

Hi Nefret, thank you for the encouragement and well wishes, I appreciate it! Especially since I have still been sick with my cold and overworked at work. I can't wait for the weekend to fully rest up and enjoy some much needed free time. Is it Friday yet?? LOL

(and yes I am a girl hehe! :hearthrob:)

The winter months are bad for me too - I can never get used to the changes in light/dark. I find that I have a limited amount of energy to begin with, and the cold and darkness make me want to curl up in bed and sleep even more. At work, I have so much energy from 9am-1pm, but I stuggle to get through the 1-5pm portion. It seems like I totally shut down at 2pm, and I can only muster to do smaller tasks just to stay busy until I leave to go home. I take my lunch break and as many breaks as I can, to reboost, but nothing helps. Motivation and job satisfaction is definitely a big problem for me right now, as seen in my action plan and posts. But I have to figure out a motivating factor to get me through the 1-5pm slump.

I think making your own action plan is a great idea! Start small and work your way up to bigger things - what do you want to accomplish? what are your daily goals? Do a few things, see how it goes, and build upon it to an overall goal or direction. Good luck!!! :)

"Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light."


#14 Nefret

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Posted 06 January 2011 - 02:13 AM

Hi Nefret, thank you for the encouragement and well wishes, I appreciate it! Especially since I have still been sick with my cold and overworked at work. I can't wait for the weekend to fully rest up and enjoy some much needed free time. Is it Friday yet?? LOL

(and yes I am a girl hehe! :hearthrob:)

The winter months are bad for me too - I can never get used to the changes in light/dark. I find that I have a limited amount of energy to begin with, and the cold and darkness make me want to curl up in bed and sleep even more. At work, I have so much energy from 9am-1pm, but I stuggle to get through the 1-5pm portion. It seems like I totally shut down at 2pm, and I can only muster to do smaller tasks just to stay busy until I leave to go home. I take my lunch break and as many breaks as I can, to reboost, but nothing helps. Motivation and job satisfaction is definitely a big problem for me right now, as seen in my action plan and posts. But I have to figure out a motivating factor to get me through the 1-5pm slump.

I think making your own action plan is a great idea! Start small and work your way up to bigger things - what do you want to accomplish? what are your daily goals? Do a few things, see how it goes, and build upon it to an overall goal or direction. Good luck!!! :)

Thanks Kalla, I will think of a 'do-able' plan over the next couple of days. First on the list...make a plan...actually I have cut out sugar out of my diet as it reeks havoc on my emotions and energy etc. So, there are a few things that I can say off the top of my head, but I need to write them down in one spot and all together, so I can see the 'road to recovery' plan. Thanks for writing Kalla, I wish you only the best with your great plan! I am here if you need me...and it is almost Friday... :gathering:
-Nefret

#15 Rosegirl

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Posted 07 January 2011 - 11:32 AM

I have depression, and it sure can zap the energy out of me especially durign the cold winter months, (...)

Perhaps I can make my own plan of action, (...) I am a person who is goal oriented and so this what you are doing, is right up my alley!



Hi Nefret, :)

I have already written something hopefully good to Kalla on the thread "Mention One (Or More) Thing(S) You Will Do To Morrow To Cope With Your Mental Health."

I get my depression worsened at the wintertime, too. I'm also goal-oriented. I think that the worst that can happen to a goal-oriented person is to have no goal to work for. It's good for all depressed persons to have goals, but for usually goal-oriented people, it's about to be or not to be ... We, who have it that way, have to deal with our depression as if it is a problem at work we are going to solve. That's my opinion. It's important to not be to critical if the aims are not reached and to adjust the plan to what is possible. I'm trying the best I can ... (It seems to be a really though project to work with, tough).

To be depressed is to be one's own boss (figuring out how to cope with the depression :biggrin: ) !

GOOD LUCK!!!

It is well to be up before daybreak,

for such habits contribute to health, wealth, and wisdom. (Aristotle)

 

The things that we pray for, good Lord,
give us your grace to work for.
(
St. Thomas More)


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#16 Nefret

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Posted 08 January 2011 - 09:24 PM



I have depression, and it sure can zap the energy out of me especially durign the cold winter months, (...)

Perhaps I can make my own plan of action, (...) I am a person who is goal oriented and so this what you are doing, is right up my alley!



Hi Nefret, :)

I have already written something hopefully good to Kalla on the thread "Mention One (Or More) Thing(S) You Will Do To Morrow To Cope With Your Mental Health."

I get my depression worsened at the wintertime, too. I'm also goal-oriented. I think that the worst that can happen to a goal-oriented person is to have no goal to work for. It's good for all depressed persons to have goals, but for usually goal-oriented people, it's about to be or not to be ... We, who have it that way, have to deal with our depression as if it is a problem at work we are going to solve. That's my opinion. It's important to not be to critical if the aims are not reached and to adjust the plan to what is possible. I'm trying the best I can ... (It seems to be a really though project to work with, tough).

To be depressed is to be one's own boss (figuring out how to cope with the depression :biggrin: ) !

GOOD LUCK!!!


Thanks, and Kalla how are you doing?
I am really zapped....however, today my goal was to take a bath with Epsom salts, wash my hair, blow dry with product, so that my hair look somewhat alive lol....did that so it feels good.....It is even a big chore to shower.....what the heck!!!???? uugghhh..... :boredsmiley: :bathbubbles:
-Nefret :broken_heart:

#17 hbelle12

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Posted 08 January 2011 - 09:42 PM

Thats an awesome plan, Kalla! I commend you. I try to break down my goals and motivations but i always seem to have a hard time following them or sticking with them. I need to get my hiney in gear:) All the best luck to you my dearPosted Image
"If ever there is a tomorrow when we're not together..there is something you must remember, you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we're apart.....Ill always be with you - Winnie the Pooh

#18 redflbomb

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Posted 08 January 2011 - 10:26 PM

sounds like a good plan.

My first FT job out of college sucked majorly as well.
I tried as best I could to get the work done with the least possible effort. cutting corners all the time. I even setup my system so X would happen until a certain threshold, and then Y would happen and so on. Of course my job sort of lent itself to making things automatic.. but even when clients would call to ask for something, I would just say "sure" instead of doing the proper due diligence. this all made my life a lot easier.
and what I have discovered is that at the vast majority of organizations the people employed are clueless and controls systems are pretty s***ty. hence not very likely anyone will pick up on it. This frees up your time to read and/or do what you want to do.
I dunno if you are a PA or an assistant. If you are a PA, I hope you know that PA's can make a lot of money... A PA for a CEO in NYC can easily make $90k+. I know that doesn't seem like a LOT for NYC, but it's not bad for the kind of work it is.
DO you live in a city you like?
PM me if you like.

#19 Kalla

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Posted 09 January 2011 - 11:47 AM

Hi all :) I've been sick for the past week so unfortunately, I haven't been sticking to my plan very well. Whenever I get sick, it seems to take a mental and emotional toil on my health. I've been spending this weekend relaxing and staying in to rest some more...I plan on getting back onto my plan tomorrow though and hopefully I can get things back on track. It feels like these past few weeks have been rough for me staying on plan, but I'm determined to get this worked out somehow :)

Netfret: Cutting sugar out of your diet is a good start. Don't deny yourself some of it from time to time though :) Maybe you need a bit more of a balance? I do agree that sugar can make your anxiety and emtoions go all over the place - some people are really sensitive to it like my mom. But starting with a few small things, like showering and styling your hair, is a great way to start. Good luck and best wishes!!!

Rosegirl: I responded to you and everyone else on the other topic - thank you again for the well wishes and encouragement! :D

Hbelle12: Thank you, and good luck to you as well. I hope you find something that works for you soon - sometimes it takes trial and error and the key is to not let it bring you down.

Redflbomb: I am not a PA (physician's assistant right?) I am an administrative assistant (though, with a lower title and lower pay - bleck) I have been trying to find quicker solutions to issues and to become more efficient at my job to decrease the stress, but my boss is the major issue. She seems unappreciative of my help and seems to enjoy dumping all her professional woes and stresses out on me. To everyone else, she is pleasant and relaxed - but to me, she'll act all overwhelmed and miserable. I can't seem to have a nice conversation with her, for example:


Me: (comes into her office) Hi _____. I'm here for our meeting. How are you doing today?
Boss: Ugh, SO overwhelmed! I have SO MUCH to do this week.
Me: Oh, anything I can help you with?
Boss: No, just the usual things I NEED to take care of. *sigh*
Me: That's too bad...Did you have a nice vacation at least?
Boss: Oh yes, yes it was fine...didn't work on much, which is why I have so much to do now. Ugh!

Then the whole meeting is us talking about what needs to be done, what I can help her with, and the whole time she looks like she's going to hole from the stress. Which makes me uncomfortable and nervous. But then, a co-worker comes in:

Co-worker: Sorry to interrupt. Hi ____! How was your vacation? How are you doing this first week back?
Boss: Oh it was great! (starts going on and on about how nice her vacation was) And I'm doing well, how about you?

And then they start having a 5 minute pleasant conversation about the holidays and blah blah blah. And I'm sitting there feeling left out and awkward. Then, when the co-worker leaves, my boss gets all stressed out on me again. Total two-face :(

I feel emotionally dumped on and treated like a punching bag. The other people I assist never treat me that way - they are always appreciative and thankful. But my boss will sort of throw a thank you at me as she's running off somewhere else or act like I'm below her and thus deserve to be treated that way. So that's why I struggle with the job when it comes to her - being treated poorly makes my motivation plummet. I have no interest in her professional life and I feel as if I have to deal with her bad side while everyone else gets to see her good side (I think I'll puke if someone tells me how sweet, nice, and wonderful she is again)


LOL Sorry for the side rant :) But it's more about the person I work for than the actual work itself. And yes I do live in a city I like very much, so that helps.

Thanks again for the support and encouragement everyone, I appreciate it!

"Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light."


#20 Rosegirl

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Posted 09 January 2011 - 04:51 PM

Kalla, it is interesting to read about your boss reaction to you. I know you don't think it's interesting, but rather a bad experience. Let me explain myself about the "interesting": I wrote something on "the other thread" about that I believed that other people perhaps misread me (all of us) when I'm (we are) depressed. I mean that may be we send out "I'm depressed signals" and that others will pick them up. After all we all use others body language to codify what they really are saying to us. (The word "signal" is not to be read literally here). May be different people react differently to how they unconsciously perceive us. Some might think we are angry (and may be we are unconsciously, because a lot of scientific studies tell that there is a link between anger (open or hidden) and depression. These may perhaps show anger back or "ignoring-signals". Some people might catch our depressions and think: "There is someone like me," and then pull out their own depressive sides only to those they perceive as depressed. May be that is what your boss is doing. Some might hurt us, because that is a part of them that they only show when they see themselves in an up-down relationship, with themselves as the best and biggest. Others might try to control us by their kindness (I don't mean that every kind person is a control-freak. I only thought about them who unconsciously keep us there, in our depression, because they need our depression to feel good - a codependence problem if we participate in it). Still there might be a lot of other ways people may unconsciously perceive us and react to us.

Well, it's just some thoughts I present. The reason that I find it worth to present them, is that if there is a bit of truth in what I'm saying, we (all depressed) have to do something about it. We can't pull ourselves out of the depression when it is deep or worsened by this or that reason. When we are over the "bump", however, we can take action. My thoughts for my own life are that by showing that "I'm not a door-mat", I take the control back and present another and more stronger side of myself. When I do that I send other signals to the world (I think). If they (the other people in the world) still send the depressed/ugly signals back, we can take control by not reacting to them.

Well, just my thoughts. I hope I have not confused you or anybody else, but have given a tiny "thing" to reflect around(to consider or to put in trash). As I have told before, I'm rather goal oriented. For me to grow as a person (depressed or not), is to figure out what is the problem and how to solve it .... :biggrin:

It is well to be up before daybreak,

for such habits contribute to health, wealth, and wisdom. (Aristotle)

 

The things that we pray for, good Lord,
give us your grace to work for.
(
St. Thomas More)


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#21 Kalla

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Posted 09 January 2011 - 05:49 PM

Hi Rosegirl :)

I understand what you are saying and thank you so much for this advice and outlook. I come to work in the best mood I can portray, but often I have this quiet, diligent shyness to my personality. Perhaps my boss takes this as misery or depression on my end - I do smile a lot and try to be cheerful, but perhaps it's not working so well for me? Thinking about it more, she does give certain others this attitude as well though they don't seem to pick up on it. I find that my boss is very direct, impatient, sharp minded, and to-the-point - things that I'm not, which makes me anxious when she has this attitude towards me. Which probably in turn makes her continue the behavior in frustration or something. I really don't know...I will definitely think more about this :) It may come down to a hidden personality conflict.

I think you are absolutely right about not being a doormat and not reacting to those ugly signals. I think that may be my biggest problem - I feel like I'm being stepped over, I feel like she'll take it all out on me, I think that I am powerless and weak because I'm just an assistant while she's my boss. It's not to say that I should give an attitude back or be aggressive, but being more confident and comfortable in how I hold myself. My mom always said I should toughen up a little :)

I will try tomorrorow to have a different outlook and even try to hold myself differently - walk into her office, talk her week through, do my tasks as assigned, all while holding my head up high with confidence and energy. Like I've always said "Gotta fake it till you make it" LOL

I'm goal oriented too - after a period of time, I get fed up and I decide it's time to change my situation regardless of trial and error. I may fall but I don't give up! :)

"Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light."


#22 Kalla

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Posted 18 January 2011 - 07:23 PM

Hi all, quick update :)

I haven't been on much because I've been so busy...making up some work from when I was sick, hanging out with my friends for the day when they came up to visit me, and trying to stick to my action plan as best I can.


Things that I have done thus far:
1) Bought a study book for my certification
2) Bought a study book for the GRE
3) Reading books from the library
4) Keeping up my blog
5) Finding fun things to do after work and during the week
6) Compiled a list of volunteer places I'd like to work for - hoping to send out applications/e-mails this week
7) Eating healthier and drinking more water...slowly but surely I'm getting there :)
8) Found some more motivation for my job - found a couple "work buddies" which has helped A LOT
9) Joined a professional organization

Things I still need to do:
1) Go to Church regularly
2) Decrease my job anxiety and fears - Improve the positive outlook more
3) Smooth out my work-life balance a bit more
4) Donating to a charity I like every month
5) Start studying for certification and GRE


I'm still struggling a bit with making this all work - I really don't want to overwhelm myself, which isn't hard for me to do. I found that I can burn out really easily...so I am still trying to think of how I will spend my time studying vs. spend my time volunteering vs. spend my time relaxing and enjoying my free time. So hopefully I can find a balance soon :)


I hope everyone is doing well!

"Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light."


#23 Trace

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Posted 19 January 2011 - 05:17 AM

Hi Kalla

Good luck with finding that balance. I really do think that what you are doing is awesome, remember if you start to get overwhelmed take it a little slower and try and break things down a little.

Trace
Listen in deep silence. Be very still and open your mind.... Sink deep into the peace that waits for you beyond the frantic, riotous thoughts and sights and sounds of this insane world. - A course of miracles.

True beauty must come, must be grown, from within.... - Ralph W Trine.



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#24 OceanBreeze9721

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Posted 19 January 2011 - 03:11 PM

Hi Kalla, I just read your posts and you sound a lot like me. I am glad you are posting, it sounds like you are getting a lot done. I too can easily get burned out especially now at my age going back to school again it is exciting in the beginning but challenging with a job, husband and a small one. Lots of worries and things, but one thing at a time, and be proud of the things you have done.

Ocean

Don't let your emotions be in control of you.  You be in control of your emotions.

When worry thoughts come up, ask if it is something that I can let go of.  Is it something I have to worry about or can I let it go.  Count backwards from ten and let it go.

To not feel awkward in social situations, act interested in others and it will ease some of the anxieties.

Breathe relax and regroup even if for a few seconds.

Balance down time with activities and exercise. Not too much sleep and not too much exercise.

Set realistic goals and check them once in a while.

Don't let only negative thoughts be the ones to focus on, focus on the good things, even if only a few.


#25 Kalla

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Posted 23 January 2011 - 07:12 PM

Hi again everyone! :joker:


Trace: Thank you for the well wishes and encouragement, I appreciate it! :flowers:

Ocean: It sounds like that is quite a stressful situation for you. My friend is a single mom who had her daughter when she was 16...my friend is now in grad school (her daughter is 10) and I really admire her and I'm always amazed by how she can balance work-life-school. Just take it one day at a time and keep your eye on the prize (that diploma!) :hearts:


For an update, things that I did this week:
1) Got my haircut, went out to dinner with my mom, watched my favorite television shows, blogging, returned my book to the library and picked up some more - so basically keeping on my goal of doing enjoyable things during the week
2) Mailed out a volunteer application
3) Registered for my certification exam
4) Created a work-life-study balance schedule and I plan on starting it tomorrow!
5) Still eating healthy and drinking water - exercising a bit more too

Things I still need to do:
1) Go to Church regularly
2) Decrease my job anxiety and fears - Improve the positive outlook more
3) Donating to a charity I like every month
4) Start studying for certification and GRE


Take care and see you next week! :bathbubbles:

"Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light."


#26 OceanBreeze9721

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Posted 24 January 2011 - 03:19 AM

Hi Kalla, sounds like you have got a good plan. Thanks for keeping us updated and thanks for your reply... I had to read 3 chapters in my book and write an essay, fix a family argument, go to work, make dinner, put the wash away, clean the house....balance is needed so much! ahhh...30 minutes of badminton and I swung out all of my frustrations...lol

Ocean

Don't let your emotions be in control of you.  You be in control of your emotions.

When worry thoughts come up, ask if it is something that I can let go of.  Is it something I have to worry about or can I let it go.  Count backwards from ten and let it go.

To not feel awkward in social situations, act interested in others and it will ease some of the anxieties.

Breathe relax and regroup even if for a few seconds.

Balance down time with activities and exercise. Not too much sleep and not too much exercise.

Set realistic goals and check them once in a while.

Don't let only negative thoughts be the ones to focus on, focus on the good things, even if only a few.


#27 Trace

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Posted 24 January 2011 - 06:57 AM

Hi Kalla

Excellent job this week!
Its only a pleasure to be there for you, I think what you are doing is brilliant.

Trace
Listen in deep silence. Be very still and open your mind.... Sink deep into the peace that waits for you beyond the frantic, riotous thoughts and sights and sounds of this insane world. - A course of miracles.

True beauty must come, must be grown, from within.... - Ralph W Trine.



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#28 Kalla

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Posted 06 February 2011 - 04:37 PM

Hi everyone! :cat_jumps:

I'm sorry I haven't been on much the past couple weeks - I certainly haven't forgotten about DF! I've just been busy with work, trying to get a routine down, and having some family and friends visit me. This week seems much calmer so I hope to be on more with all of you :gathering:

Ocean: YIKES!!! I hope you were able to manage all of that!!!

Tace: Thanks, I hope you are doing well too! :hearts:


For an update, things that I did these past 2 weeks:
1) Blogging, reading, hanging out with my sister and some friends, enjoying my free time out and about
2) Looking for more volunteer opportunities - I mailed out that application a couple weeks ago, so I plan on calling tomorrow to follow up
3) Going to Church
4) Created a work-life-study balance schedule and I've been sticking to it...it's working really well so far!
5) Making flashcards for the GRE and my certification exam
6) Taking a regimen of vitamins, St. John's Wort, and omega fish pills - it's really boosted my mood :)
7) Been working on finding ways to boost my mood and productivity at work - I find that changing my attitude even by a little bit and finding things to look forward to at work has been a big help

Things I still need to do:
1) Donating to a charity I like every month
2) Decrease my job anxiety and fears - Improve the positive outlook a bit more
3) Start a savings account and work on balancing my budget a bit more


My goal this week is to continnue on my routine/schedule/life-work-study-balance and make changes as necessary...I do find that re-arranging my priorities and trying to figure out how best to spend my time is well...time consuming! But definitely worthwhile. I'm not used to doing things for me and so the idea of creating my own life is a bit foreign to me...but I'm sure in time and practice it will get easier. Also, trying to figure out my financial situation and balance that out, instead of feeling like I need to spend-spend-spend all the time!!

See you next week! :bestwishes:

"Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light."


#29 Trace

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Posted 07 February 2011 - 06:17 AM

Hi Kalla

It is good to see you and good to see that you are still working hard on achieving everything. It is awesome. Keep it up.

Trace
Listen in deep silence. Be very still and open your mind.... Sink deep into the peace that waits for you beyond the frantic, riotous thoughts and sights and sounds of this insane world. - A course of miracles.

True beauty must come, must be grown, from within.... - Ralph W Trine.



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#30 Kalla

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Posted 19 February 2011 - 02:15 PM

Hello again everyone :0)


For an update, things that I have done these past 2 weeks:
1) Blogging, reading, posting in my forums, keeping in touch with my friends back home, and overall being really productive
2) Signed up with my Church's Outreach and Volunteer Ministry
3) Going to Church on a regular basis
4) Still sticking to my work-life-study balance schedule
5) Still making flashcards for the GRE and my certification exam (I passed in my certification application and I was accepted! I will take the exam in mid-April)
6) Still taking a regimen of vitamins, St. John's Wort, and omega fish pills - it's really boosted my mood :)
7) Finally found some productivity and enthusiasm for my job and my relationship with my boss has improved DRAMATICALLY in the past few weeks! I still have some difficulties but I think ovrall I am coping the best that I can for the time being.

Things I still need to do:
1) Donating to a charity I like every month - I have to drop this because my financial situation is tighter than I originally thought, but through my Church, I can become more involved and donate a bit here and there to various charities so I guess that's OK
2) Start a savings account and work on balancing my budget a bit more - I don't have enough money to start a regular savings but I am watching what I spend and I hope to build enough of a buffer to save in the coming months, so again, it's OK
3) Eating healthy and drinking water - I have seriously fell off the bandwagon with this, and I really need to eat better soon. My boss actually gave me a new water bottle so I guess that's a sign I should seriously get on this goal lol


See you all again soon - I hope everyone is doing well! :hearts:

"Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light."


#31 lindahurt

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Posted 19 February 2011 - 02:18 PM

Glad to see you taking such an active role in combating depression. You are doing a wonderful job and keep up the good work. This is so inspirational and believe it will encourage others as well.

Lindahurt
Even in the most horrific of situations, one's attitude has an enormous role in shaping what happens ~ Viktor Frankl
In you lies the power to choose, to commit - Stephen Convey

 
The kind of person you want to become is greatly influence by your inner decisions, and not from outside influence alone. We can even under adverse circumstances, decide what shall become of us ~ Brian C. Stiller



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#32 Kalla

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Posted 19 February 2011 - 02:56 PM

Thank you Linda - I really appreciate your kind words and support :) ♥ I hope I am not spamming too much with this topic. I just realized there are blogs at DF, so if people would rather me post in one of those I can easily do that instead.

:hearts:

"Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light."


#33 lindahurt

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Posted 19 February 2011 - 03:00 PM

Thank you Linda - I really appreciate your kind words and support :) ♥ I hope I am not spamming too much with this topic. I just realized there are blogs at DF, so if people would rather me post in one of those I can easily do that instead.

:hearts:


You may blog if you like but this is your thread so keep sharing here.

Lindahurt
Even in the most horrific of situations, one's attitude has an enormous role in shaping what happens ~ Viktor Frankl
In you lies the power to choose, to commit - Stephen Convey

 
The kind of person you want to become is greatly influence by your inner decisions, and not from outside influence alone. We can even under adverse circumstances, decide what shall become of us ~ Brian C. Stiller



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#34 OceanBreeze9721

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Posted 19 February 2011 - 04:52 PM

Hi Kalla, Keep posting, reading your posts of how you are doing are helping those who are going through a lot also. I am finding that working, having a family and going back to school at my age is becoming a real challenge. It is affecting my emotions and I have to remember that I don't have the time with my family as I used to, or the time to realize the emotions I am going through. Reading your post, I will take a break today and tomorrow from any work and spend time with family, journal and think about the ones that I love. Maybe I'll help my neighbor....

Thanks for letting me share through your post.

Ocean,

Don't let your emotions be in control of you.  You be in control of your emotions.

When worry thoughts come up, ask if it is something that I can let go of.  Is it something I have to worry about or can I let it go.  Count backwards from ten and let it go.

To not feel awkward in social situations, act interested in others and it will ease some of the anxieties.

Breathe relax and regroup even if for a few seconds.

Balance down time with activities and exercise. Not too much sleep and not too much exercise.

Set realistic goals and check them once in a while.

Don't let only negative thoughts be the ones to focus on, focus on the good things, even if only a few.


#35 Kalla

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Posted 19 February 2011 - 06:04 PM

Hi Ocean, your post really warmed me on the inside. Thank you for sharing and I really hope you can enjoy the rest of the weekend with your loved ones :) It's always important to take a few minutes to just slow down and enjoy what's important in life. Have fun and take it easy :hugs:

"Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light."


#36 Rosegirl

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Posted 21 February 2011 - 11:08 AM

Hi Kalla :coffeebreak:

Keep posting, reading your posts of how you are doing are helping those who are going through a lot also.


It's exactly like Ocean says. Your posts are helpful, Kalla. In my opinion they are helpful because you have aims to work towards. I have missed that part so much at DF (continuing to write about climbing out of depression :yay: ). We are at different stadiums in our lives. Some have just fallen into depression and are trying to cope with accepting that. Others have come longer on their road of recovery and need support at that stage. That's why I have made the thread "Mention One (Or More) Thing(S) You Will Do To Morrow To Cope With Your Mental Health." It points to goals and to planning ahead. It's not about how to cope for just today, but about reaching long term goals step by step. So it is with your writings too. I don't know how to explain it, but it points to days after this day and days after tomorrow. It points directly to hope! I can only talk for myself: I, as a lot of others, don't have a supporting system for my depression. I have good family relations and some friends, but they don't understand depression, so I can't talk to them about that. I have to hide that part of myself in daily life. Sad, but that's why it's so good that we have DF and some that continuously dare to talk about their steps on the way to recovery.

Please continue .....

:hugs: :flowers:

Edited by Rosegirl, 21 February 2011 - 11:12 AM.

It is well to be up before daybreak,

for such habits contribute to health, wealth, and wisdom. (Aristotle)

 

The things that we pray for, good Lord,
give us your grace to work for.
(
St. Thomas More)


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#37 Kalla

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Posted 06 March 2011 - 03:34 PM

Hello all, Happy Sunday! :flowers:

Rose: Thank you for your support and insights. I love your thread and I try to post in it as often as possible. It provides people with hope, that yes you can climb out of depression and live a healthy, happy, and fulfilling life :icon12: I'm so happy to have DF too for the support and to share life experiences/feelings/ups and downs/etc. It helps myself, and I'm sure others, to feel more validated and less alone.


For an update, things that I have done these past 2 weeks:
1) Blogging, reading, posting in my forums, keeping in touch with my friends back home, and overall being really productive with chores/errands/work/studying
2) Participating in donation drives and other small scale volunteer projects at my Church, though I wish I could be a little more active in this regard
3) Going to Church on a regular basis
4) Sticking to my work-life-study balance schedule
5) Making flashcards for the GRE and my certification exam - my goal is to have my certification notecards done within the next 2 weeks or so
6) Taking a regimen of vitamins, St. John's Wort, and omega fish pills everyday
7) Getting out and about in the city whenever I can - going to the library, shopping, going out to eat with my mom, etc.

Things I still need to do:
1) Eating healthy and drinking water - I STILL have seriously fell off the bandwagon with this, and I really need to eat better soon. For Lent, I will give up sweets and eat more salads/drink more water. I hope that this process will lead to healthier eating in the long run.
2) Giving myself permission that I don't need to be TOO productive and that I should take time to relax and enjoy my free time with some fun as well. To take time to be quiet and to reflect - like meditating, a candlelit bubble bath, prayer, etc.


The past couple weeks have been a bit up and down for me. Some days I go into work feeling great, other days I find myself hitting a snag and trying to fight off thoughts of failure and despair. Sometimes I let small things get to me and bring me down. I try hard to fight these feelings with positive self-talk, which helps, and to make "every day count" by doing positive things and finding humor to keep me going. Some days I feel really restless and I can't help but feel like something is missing. Maybe it's the springtime weather on its way, but I feel like I need to get out and do SOMETHING...like get out there and explore the area, or get involved more actively in my community, or feeling like I could write an entire novel in a day. It's hard to explain but sometimes, like today and recently, I feel like something is just dying to burst out of me...so I'm trying to figure out how to deal with those "bursts" into something manageable and not overwhelming/distressing to me. I'm trying to figure out if these feelings are good or bad, like...I want to make a footprint somewhere, to make a difference, to make an impact. I feel like I'm not doing anything for my community, for my planet...does that make sense? :blush:

I think my biggest problem is that I feel that, at the age of 25, I have fallen short on my goals. I spent 6 years in college, instead of the expected 4, and now I am in an entry-level job that isn't career-related. I feel like I dropped the ball on this one. That I messed up. Now I have to wait to go back to grad school to get things back on track and to move forward on the right direction...it's frustrating knowing I can't fully pursue my passions and I'm deadly afraid I will never catch up. I am terrified that I will regret my entire life and all the missed opportunities when I grow old. This haunts me a lot and I try to re-assure myself that it will be OK in the end and that it's not too late to change things around. I have to accept my current situation and work towards ways to change my feelings to something more positive. I have to understand that although my anxiety/depression held me back in the past, it doesn't mean it will continue to hold me back. I can change and become the adventurous, fun-loving, Christian-minded, pure-hearted, career-oriented woman I strive to be.


Sorry for the side tangent - it just sort of flowed out of me :blush21: Thanks for reading - Have a great week everyone! :hearts:

"Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light."


#38 OceanBreeze9721

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Posted 07 March 2011 - 04:40 AM

Hi Kalla,

I think at your age to have such passion is a gift. When I was that age, I was still finding out who I was and extremely shy. I am finally finding that energy now at my age, but with it oomes the opposite which is a down time. I have to find the balance in between and remind myself that there is a middle ground. I wish you lots of luck, and you are already making footprints as I look forward to reading your posts and you are an inspiration.

Ocean

Don't let your emotions be in control of you.  You be in control of your emotions.

When worry thoughts come up, ask if it is something that I can let go of.  Is it something I have to worry about or can I let it go.  Count backwards from ten and let it go.

To not feel awkward in social situations, act interested in others and it will ease some of the anxieties.

Breathe relax and regroup even if for a few seconds.

Balance down time with activities and exercise. Not too much sleep and not too much exercise.

Set realistic goals and check them once in a while.

Don't let only negative thoughts be the ones to focus on, focus on the good things, even if only a few.


#39 Rosegirl

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Posted 07 March 2011 - 07:35 AM

Hello all, Happy Sunday! :flowers:

Rose: Thank you for your support and insights. I love your thread and I try to post in it as often as possible. It provides people with hope, that yes you can climb out of depression and live a healthy, happy, and fulfilling life :icon12:


Thanks!

It's hard to explain but sometimes, like today and recently, I feel like something is just dying to burst out of me...so I'm trying to figure out how to deal with those "bursts" into something manageable and not overwhelming/distressing to me. I'm trying to figure out if these feelings are good or bad, like...I want to make a footprint somewhere, to make a difference, to make an impact. I feel like I'm not doing anything for my community, for my planet...does that make sense? :blush:


Yes, it makes sense! Yes, but do not set your goals too high. You make a difference even if it's only inside your private circle. If just one person's life get better because of you, you have made a big difference in the world. Please remember that when life doesn't show itself from it's best sides. Try to see what «comes out», reflect about if it is realistic and if the answer is yes GO FOR IT (and cut down on the time you use for other things).

I think my biggest problem is that I feel that, at the age of 25, I have fallen short on my goals. (...) I can change and become the adventurous, fun-loving, Christian-minded, pure-hearted, career-oriented woman I strive to be.


Yes, you are (only) 25. There are hopefully plenty of years to make something out of your life. YES, you can be a lot of what you want, but don't shun anxiety and depression as if they are a sign that shows you as a leprosy-patient. To be strong means to be able to live even if you feel depressed or have anxiety from time to time. I know people who are highly skilled, have high degrees and who really make a difference for many, but their goals are not to skip down-periods in life, but to be able to live and do something in spite of such periods. To be a career-oriented woman, doesn't mean that you have to be perfect. I knew such a career-oriented person once. That person was too ambitious to be willing to admit that no one is perfect. The person died in sui**de, because the person could not face that the house was not in proper state before Christmas. Perfections are men's strongest enemy. I can ki**! By the way: Perfectly perfect people are boring ... :EmoticonDogRun:

Best wishes and a blessed lent! :hugs: :hearts:

It is well to be up before daybreak,

for such habits contribute to health, wealth, and wisdom. (Aristotle)

 

The things that we pray for, good Lord,
give us your grace to work for.
(
St. Thomas More)


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#40 Kalla

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Posted 07 March 2011 - 09:47 PM

Thank you Ocean and Rose - I was able to read your posts before work today and it really helped me to feel better! Much appreciated :icon12:

Ocean: I'm really proud of you and everything you are accomplishing. I'm sure your life is quite hectic and stressful at times, and you should be so proud of yourself for plugging along the way that you do! :hearthrob: It's so important not to give up and to find that balance, those quiet and peaceful moments alongside being productive and active. Good luck to you too and thank you for your help - I couldn't do it without all of you :)

Rose: You are absolutely right about making a difference through small actions and relationships. I shouldn't discredit myself and what I can offer to my loved ones, co-workers, strangers, and community in small ways. Thank you so much for your encouragement and reminding me that I shouldn't be so hard on myself and to thrive, not just survive. I'm so sorry to hear about that person you knew, how tragic. I agree that perfectionism only leads to despair...and yes perfectly perfect people sure are boring! Not to mention the fact that we are all perfectly imperfect anyway :) A blessed Lent to you as well!

To all ~ :hearts:

"Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light."





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