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ocean of tears

Can't Feel Emotions?

17 posts in this topic

Posted · Report post  

Lately it's been feeling like I can't really feel emotions. I'v never been good at being able to feel "bad" for someone, I never know what to say or do. I just try to act surprised and like it matters to me. But in reality, I know that it doesn't actually affect me in the slightest. I don't think this is exactly normal. I'm afraid that no matter what I do I'm going to continue to be like this. Not being able to feel happy or sad, just being indifferent all the time. It doesn't feel good.

I guess its hard to explain fully but it's scaring me. I don't have anyone I can be honest and open with about these type of things so it's pretty hard faking it all the time. Even though the guy I'm seeing suffers from depression, I don't think he even really understands. So being alone with it, is 10x worse.

Anyone else feel like this? Is there anything I can do to feel? I'm afraid of what will happen if it stays this way :-/

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Posted · Report post  

Yes. I feel this way all the time. Its not that I don't care for other people, its just that Im indifferent to their problems. Then I expect everyone to care about mine. Well, 'expect' is the wrong word to use, but I think you get what I mean.

Deaths are a weird one for me. I don't really feel anything when I first get word, but then at the funeral I'll tear up a bit (maybe) and thats it. I rarely ever display emotions from the heart in public, if anywhere. I pretend all the time though, I try to make myself believe I care but at the end of the day like you said... other peoples problems don't effect my life.

No offence to you, but I feel very selfish and I loathe myself for being like that, I loathe myself in general so that shouldn't come as a surprise. Though I'm not sure if everybody thinks that way and they just don't like to admit it, and just pretend like I said to keep up appearances. I hate that about people, they are all fake, including me.

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The other night I found out my Grandmother was put in the hospital because her heart stopped and she passed out, hit her head and ended up needing surgery to fix her heart. I'll be honest, I didn't care. That scares me... My grandmother almost dies and it doesn't phase me. :-/ what's wrong with me?

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Posted · Report post  

From my own experience with depression, there is a flattening of affect or emotional numbness. Depending on how we respond, some ADs can also cause a flattening/numbness. In the past, were you able to feel emotions like happiness/sadness? Like possibly when you were a little child? If so, those emotions can come back. I suggest you talk to your pdoc if you think your meds are causing the numbness, He/she will be better able to help you with those. If it's not meds, therapy can be of some value to recover lost or hidden emotions. I've gone through both methods and have regained most of my emotions. I'm not one to cry, but when appropriate, I can feel deep sadness and go through grief when a person passes. I can empathize when people close to me have a serious illness or be joyful at the birth of a new child, be happy with friends at a social event, etc. Don't give up hope that you will "feel" again.

Sheepwoman

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Posted · Report post  

I have felt this way since I was about 14 and I'm 22 now, it's not because of meds. I've had several episodes of relief over the past 2 years, so it is possible for numb emotions to come alive again. These episodes of feeling emotion seem to occur randomly, it is very frustrating when I revert back to numbness. The emotions are growing more intense with each episode (it feels good), but they aren't staying longer. There's often weeks of emptiness between emotional days.

I think I am this way because I felt the need to suppress emotions in my youth, like anger and crying. I keep revisiting old traumas in an attempt to unblock these emotions, but it's like drawing blood from a stone. Has anyone overcome this issue?

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Posted · Report post  

Lately it's been feeling like I can't really feel emotions. I'v never been good at being able to feel "bad" for someone, I never know what to say or do. I just try to act surprised and like it matters to me. But in reality, I know that it doesn't actually affect me in the slightest. I don't think this is exactly normal. I'm afraid that no matter what I do I'm going to continue to be like this. Not being able to feel happy or sad, just being indifferent all the time. It doesn't feel good.

I guess its hard to explain fully but it's scaring me. I don't have anyone I can be honest and open with about these type of things so it's pretty hard faking it all the time. Even though the guy I'm seeing suffers from depression, I don't think he even really understands. So being alone with it, is 10x worse.

Anyone else feel like this? Is there anything I can do to feel? I'm afraid of what will happen if it stays this way :-/

OceanOfTears.

Sorry to hear you're in this way. Are you on medication at the moment? I ask as I also got a "numb" feeling for some time when starting on them.

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Posted · Report post  

I'm not on any medications... I'm not in therapy, my doc doesnt take my current insurance... It's hard because I don't really have anyone that I can talk to about it. I don't make it a point to seek out other emotionally unstable people, so finding someone who understands this is hard. Yes, the guy I'm seeing is on meds and has issues and whatnot but I don't feel like I can have a conversation about not feeling emotions, with him. I can honestly say I know he'd understand and he's probably going through the same thing himself, but i duno...

I guess it's all just hard to explain... I think more than anything I'v faked most emotions, except sadness. When my friend passed in feb 09, I took it horribly and that was probably the last time I REALLY felt anything.

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Posted (edited) · Report post  

I'm not on any medications... I'm not in therapy, my doc doesnt take my current insurance... It's hard because I don't really have anyone that I can talk to about it. I don't make it a point to seek out other emotionally unstable people, so finding someone who understands this is hard. Yes, the guy I'm seeing is on meds and has issues and whatnot but I don't feel like I can have a conversation about not feeling emotions, with him. I can honestly say I know he'd understand and he's probably going through the same thing himself, but i duno...

I guess it's all just hard to explain... I think more than anything I'v faked most emotions, except sadness. When my friend passed in feb 09, I took it horribly and that was probably the last time I REALLY felt anything.

Hi Ocean of tears,

I'm sorry for the emotional numbness you have been experiencing for some time now, partially due to your depression. So it is imperitive that you continue to receive mediations for treatment. The irony is that some of the antidepressants and anti-anxiety medications we use to overcome mood disorders can also cause emotional numbness. So you really need to find a new doc asap to help determine if its your meds. Since you cannot receive treatment through your current doc anymore, then ask for a referral to someone who will accept your insurance, or go on-line and seek out a doc who will.

I also feel that this symptom results from feeling overwhelmed and overburdened by life's challenges to the point where you just can't feel anymore. Emotional numbness can also be a protection against feeling too much as in after a trauma. It can be the process of shock where you simply cannot take in the emotional reality of what is going on. Maybe the mind is protecting itself from too much pain. I don't know if this is the case with you but a good therapist should be able to help you figure it out. So I think it is important that you seek a therapist too.

I know it may seem very dim to you as this time, but you can recover like Sheepwoman did. Her experience was an excellent example of recovery. Hang in there and don't give up. My best regards to you.

Lindahurt

Edited by lindahurt

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Posted · Report post  

I can understand this being normal for depression, but I'm BP. Would it work the same? Even during Mania I'm numb. When my ups are bad and I hurt someone because of what I'm saying I feel bad, and cry, but that could also be swinging into a depressive episode. Since I swing very fast and multiple times.

I'v tried meds, I was on a lot of AD's when I was younger before being diagnosed BP and they made things worse. I'v only tried 2 BP meds and I can't quite remember now why I got off of them but none the less the severity of side effects I feel usually overwhelms the good during the beginning.

I love my animals and all... but I'm beginning to wonder if I'll end up like my mother, living in a house of cats alone for the rest of my life.

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Posted · Report post  

Lately it's been feeling like I can't really feel emotions. I'v never been good at being able to feel "bad" for someone, I never know what to say or do. I just try to act surprised and like it matters to me. But in reality, I know that it doesn't actually affect me in the slightest. I don't think this is exactly normal. I'm afraid that no matter what I do I'm going to continue to be like this. Not being able to feel happy or sad, just being indifferent all the time. It doesn't feel good.

I guess its hard to explain fully but it's scaring me. I don't have anyone I can be honest and open with about these type of things so it's pretty hard faking it all the time. Even though the guy I'm seeing suffers from depression, I don't think he even really understands. So being alone with it, is 10x worse.

Anyone else feel like this? Is there anything I can do to feel? I'm afraid of what will happen if it stays this way :-/

It's the mid stage of depression.

You develop apathy, indifference...been there.

You will regain your ability to feel...I've been through 6 depressive episodes, I speak from experience.

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Posted · Report post  

BP really should be in treatment for the rest of your life. I'm BP I and am on a large combo of meds. Without them, I am horrible and totally out of control. I also rapid cycle.

I suggest you call your insurance for a list of in-network doctors in your area to select a new primary care physician. Also, get a list of local in-network psychiatrists. Always ask your insurance if you need referrals. There's no reason to deny yourself help.

As said before, your depression could be drivin your emotional numbness.

Sheepwoman

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Posted · Report post  

I know this feeling well. Feeling like nothing truly matters or that because you don't feel what you think you should, that it makes you messed up ofrwrong. I had this feeling for a long time. And I was so consumed with the fact that there was something wrong with me. Depression does strange things to people, but it doesn't mean you're strange. You are someone who is going through a hard time and this feeling is causing your mind to go on the defence. One person can only handle so much, so by becoming numb to the problems of people around you, you lessoning the stress you would feel otherwise. You are not different, you are human. For me, stress is what trigured my depression and i could only handle so much, so I numbed mself inorder to subconciouly protect myself. Just remember the things that DO keep you gong and that putting yourself down will only make those feelings stay longer. try and reduce the stress, take time for yourself.

~Take Care,

~Aven

Lately it's been feeling like I can't really feel emotions. I'v never been good at being able to feel "bad" for someone, I never know what to say or do. I just try to act surprised and like it matters to me. But in reality, I know that it doesn't actually affect me in the slightest. I don't think this is exactly normal. I'm afraid that no matter what I do I'm going to continue to be like this. Not being able to feel happy or sad, just being indifferent all the time. It doesn't feel good.

I guess its hard to explain fully but it's scaring me. I don't have anyone I can be honest and open with about these type of things so it's pretty hard faking it all the time. Even though the guy I'm seeing suffers from depression, I don't think he even really understands. So being alone with it, is 10x worse.

Anyone else feel like this? Is there anything I can do to feel? I'm afraid of what will happen if it stays this way :-/

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Posted · Report post  

I know I'll need treatment and meds for the rest of my life, but until things get out of control I want to try and deal on my own. Meds make me feel horrible and therapy doesn't help that much because it's really hard for me to talk about things like this. I know the longer I stay off meds the worse things will get but I'd rather do it on my own for now.

I'm hoping after the Holiday Season is over, things will go back to normal with me. Less stress and more time off, to sleep and do things with friends. If that doesnt help me feel again, maybe I will have to go back into therapy and work through my friends passing. I think that could be the big stressor that is causing this. :-/

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I think whatever God is, has it in for me. It doesn't seem like he/she wants me to be happy at all. I can't wait for xmas and this year to be over with. Absolutely nothing good came from this year, or last year or the year before that. I'm so tired of just wading through life.

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I think whatever God is, has it in for me. It doesn't seem like he/she wants me to be happy at all. I can't wait for xmas and this year to be over with. Absolutely nothing good came from this year, or last year or the year before that. I'm so tired of just wading through life.

I havent felt much, in the same way for quite a while now(if that makes any sense!?) I havent cried for a long time; i dont want to, for me its "painfull", it brings me pain and misery, it also leaves me feeling "clingy", like i must be made a fuss of because i have been crying, but i dont like the fuss.

When I lost my Grandmother i was a bit numb at the time it was announced; i made up for that and more after the funeral; i went a long, long, long walk in the thunder and lightning, and real heavy rain; didnt want dinner; HAD to get out! I was out for hours! I cried my heart out for hours on a lonely farm track in the middle of nowhere, i roared, bawled, and shouted at GOD, for letting her go; "why didnt he take me instead?" etc.

I got home in the early hours; i didnt get lost as i had a good sense of direction, but i felt awfull, i did feel only a little better after my wave (or rather, "sunami") of grief; it took me until after breakfast to feel that due to the thunder and lightning, my Gran had been given the mother of all welcomes up there! It took me a few weeks to get past it; but now. The sun shines on a nice day even in winter; i feel my gran smile down on me, happy that i'm settled in life with a wonderfull wife and daughter and our nice home, and our pets. Thats a good feeling.

This is a closed, finished and concluded event now, i have managed to resolve my greif and thats good. Thats great in the circumstances.

I have been carrying baggage for 37 years, of an event that has ruined for me what should be the nicest time of the year for all. This baggage is getting too heavy for me now. I have the emotional scars and the bad memories. It has also made me fear people; its not good to live life in fear of people or events.

When i was ten; one Christmas eve, my mother beat me with a buckle end of a belt, and a stick. She was out shopping all day and came home to ***** in the lounge door. I did it; my brother wound me up all day about something stupid that HE did and blamed it all on me. I took that all day but snapped at about teatime. I swung for him and put my foot through the door.

My mother came home and saw the door and sent me to my room. Ten mins later she came up and rattled me about with the belt and the stick; i was scarred all over. I locked my door by pilling up all the furniture against the door and the opposite wall, and threatened to push the neighbour off his ladder! i smashed the light bulb. I wanted to live in the dark until i died.

My mother expected me to go downstairs the following Christmas morning and happliy open my presents!!!!! Can you believe that??

Discipline; fine; but with a stick and the buckle end of the strap repeatedly all over, is just a tad of overkill in my opinion.

For 37 years i have carried this, the only legacy the old cow left me! shes dead now; you can imagine, i didnt go to the funeral.

This baggae as i said, is too heavy for me now, i cant carry it anymore, it hurts to think of it, but at the run up to the festive season i allways end up with a catastrophe, i hate the run up this time of year. I cant help it; i cant let go; its like its superglued to my hands!

Tonight i saw a doctor; i finally managed to get my A/D upped. This will help; i'm back at work after being off for about 2weeks.

I feel plenty; sometimes too much plenty; but it does me no good to get these feelings out, at the same time i know i cant keep it bottled up indefinitely.

Do i want to cry? i dont know; i dont think i'd feel any better. I think i'd feel worse. I feel numb. I totally understand how you feel; i wish i could help you in some way. I have had my spells in church, and it left me confused; worse than i was before. It was suggested that i get in touch with my beliefs to help me with my issues; i cant do that. I'm waiting for someone to throw down a ladder, to help me out of the chamber of 32 locked doors.

I'm sorry i cant help you; but i can feel for you, i can empathise with you. and i know how you feel. I hope this can be a comfort to you; to know that you're not alone.

Markh.

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Posted · Report post  

Everyone is different and we exhibit the same reactions to stress or emotions as everyone else. We are not expected to be the same as everyone else. Myself I don't feel much when people die. I asked my father about this a few years back he just said, "we all experience things different, you are fine."

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Posted · Report post  

I'm definitely losing touch... I barely feel human anymore. It's like there's nothing inside of me, just that bit of crazy that I fight everyday.

I'm about ready to give up on being happy, I doubt I'd even recognize the feeling anyway.

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