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[cadence]

when u love someone one min, hate them the next

when u dont feel ur care co listens or understands u but scared of her leaving

when u only think in black and white, andoften misconceive a convo for something bad, instead of how it is meant

when u think back over convo hours later wondering if u said anything wrong

when if ppl dont reply imediatelt to texts it means they hate u

[Niobe]

When your own mom calls you a "Drama Queen"!

When your best friend asks, "Who am I talking to today--Dr. Jekyll or Ms. Hyde?"

LOL! (But I'm not making these up either!)

[r90]

When your own mom calls you a "Drama Queen"!

When your best friend asks, "Who am I talking to today--Dr. Jekyll or Ms. Hyde?"

LOL! (But I'm not making these up either!)

Indeed!

Here's another one:

When you can recognize that your day is going to be bad from the very first anxious feeling you get after getting up from bed...

r90

[catnip30]

You spend half the day thinking 'you just dont understand!!' when people question you over things, and not in a diva dramatic way, in a completely honest they dont understand way.

Just wanted to say a big thank you - my therapist ask me yesterday to try and stop saying to her "you don't understand".

I thought it was just me - it may sound weird but I am relieved it is not just me.

[saphirrain]

You know you're Borderline when... someone doesn't immediately call you back and you instantly think they're not speaking to you. You spend an inordinate amount of time analyzing every conversation you've ever had with them, trying to figure out what you've done wrong.

[Kat55]

You know you're borderline when...

You have been through way too many cell phones (because you throw them), not to mention broken remote controls, and one broken window - oops.

You don't feel like you fit in with society, and it makes you end up disliking most ALL people.

When you pick fights with your significant other over nothing ( A LOT ), probably due to your fear of being abandoned.

If you are in a relationship with someone that has the potential to hurt you, because you really like them, you will self-sabotage the relationship as a mechanism to prevent feeling hurt / abandoned.

When you first start out in a relationship, you are pretty much "in love" with someone right away. Then maybe a couple weeks later, you realize that the feelings weren't real.

You are ALWAYS in a relationship - have you ever been single??

You have a bad self-image of yourself, although, realisticly, it's probably unnecessary.


I'm sure I could go on for quite awhile, unfortunately. I'll give it a rest here for now. I really like this post though - thanks to whomever started it. Maybe if I actually read down what I have written, it can stop me from feeling this way in the future. Or atleast give me the ability to look at some of the things that I do in a more realistic point of view.


Thanks,
Kat

[Liliah]

...you've found yourself trying to convince someone that the only reason the window broke is because it is old and single-paned. Then you swept up the glass, promised to pay for the new installation, and excepted it to "resolve" the issue.

Or so I hear.

[Liliah]

You know you're Borderline when... someone doesn't immediately call you back and you instantly think they're not speaking to you. You spend an inordinate amount of time analyzing every conversation you've ever had with them, trying to figure out what you've done wrong.

And then the phone rings and you're nervous to pick it up.

I can definitely relate to this one!

[r90]

You have been through way too many cell phones (because you throw them), not to mention broken remote controls, and one broken window - oops.

You don't feel like you fit in with society, and it makes you end up disliking most ALL people.

Absolutely agree! Same here, the thing with society unfortunately turns into hatred and hostility!

You are ALWAYS in a relationship - have you ever been single??

I have always been single :(

[Kat55]

Hi r90,

Yes, well I probably should have been single, but have this great need to be with someone (it seems as if we do share that, whether or not we differ in relationship status). It would have been nice to have some time to myself to sort out some of these feelings I have and attain a better sense of self. Unfortunately, this attainment which I am lacking is quite helpful in the foundation of a stable relationship. But then again, I'm sure my having BPD has a little more to do with my instability than my sense of self - better yet, I suppose they go hand in hand.

P.S. If it makes you feel any better, we girls definately have it easier int he dating department. In our society it's the females who get hit on more than the males. The male takes the role of the "hunter", lol. He has to "work" for a relationship a lot more than females do (generally speaking), and is therefore more vulerable to rejection than females. For some reason, we also seem to find that person when we aren't looking. Yes, it's a common cliche, but in my experiences, it proves true.

Kat

Edited by Kat55, 21 April 2011 - 02:34 PM.

[Liliah]

I don't know about them apples with regard to dating in 2011—especially considering not everyone is looking for an opposite sex relationship. I'd hate to think women are empowered enough to seek out someone they are interested, or to ask for a date when meeting someone she is attracted to and would like to get to know on a deeper level. Though gender stereotypes are difficult to eradicate, I definitely seems younger generations are inverting or at least partially eroding what once was essentially a hard and fast rule. One could also argue that not being approached, then, is akin to a type of rejection—something I think we've all suffered whether asking someone out or purposefully entering an environment in order to look for a date. It's not easy for anyone, ultimately and most importantly, to find a true romantic match since intimate relationships function on so many critical levels...but hope those of us who want it wind up with someone and something truly beautiful in all of its complexity and meaning.

XOXO,
Liliah

[Kat55]

Liliah,
While I don't agree with these stereotypes that are deeply webbed into our society, I still have to say that I do believe they are present. I don't agree with most of society's ideals, actually quite the opposite (which is probably why I don't feel like I fit in most of the time, and wish that other people weren't as judging and closed minded as they are). However, I still think that more girls are asked out by guys than the other way around. It goes all the way back to childhood, where little boys are given trucks to play with and little girls are given dolls or suzie homemaker (whatever they're called, lol) ovens. It's unfortunate that we are put into this from birth, but it remains true for most. Anyways, just wanted to clarify what I meant.
I love reading your posts, you have a way with words. Hope to share more ideas with you soon :)

<3 Kat

Edited by Kat55, 21 April 2011 - 05:38 PM.

[Liliah]

Liliah,
While I don't agree with these stereotypes that are deeply webbed into our society, I still have to say that I do believe they are present. I don't agree with most of society's ideals, actually quite the opposite (which is probably why I don't feel like I fit in most of the time, and wish that other people weren't as judging and closed minded as they are). However, I still think that more girls are asked out by guys than the other way around. It goes all the way back to childhood, where little boys are given trucks to play with and little girls are given dolls or suzie homemaker (whatever they're called, lol) ovens. It's unfortunate that we are put into this from birth, but it remains true for most. Anyways, just wanted to clarify what I meant.
I love reading your posts, you have a way with words. Hope to share more ideas with you soon :)

<3 Kat

I dig it. Girls are definitely eyed with an air of intense disapproval if they reach for that GI Joe (or, conversely, or a boy reaches for a "doll" rather than the totally different "action figure"). Sigh.

Or, if you have BPD, maybe you punch the other kid in the face and play with them both! (And pretend they have a tumultuous relationship.) ;)

And thanks for your kind words! I feel the same way.

Sincerely,
Liliah

Edited by Liliah, 21 April 2011 - 08:57 PM.

[Kat55]

Liliah,
While I don't agree with these stereotypes that are deeply webbed into our society, I still have to say that I do believe they are present. I don't agree with most of society's ideals, actually quite the opposite (which is probably why I don't feel like I fit in most of the time, and wish that other people weren't as judging and closed minded as they are). However, I still think that more girls are asked out by guys than the other way around. It goes all the way back to childhood, where little boys are given trucks to play with and little girls are given dolls or suzie homemaker (whatever they're called, lol) ovens. It's unfortunate that we are put into this from birth, but it remains true for most. Anyways, just wanted to clarify what I meant.
I love reading your posts, you have a way with words. Hope to share more ideas with you soon :)

<3 Kat

I dig it. Girls are definitely eyed with an air of intense disapproval if they reach for that GI Joe (or, conversely, or a boy reaches for a "doll" rather than the totally different "action figure"). Sigh.

Or, if you have BPD, maybe you punch the other kid in the face and play with them both! (And pretend they have a tumultuous relationship.) ;)

And thanks for your kind words! I feel the same way.

Sincerely,
Liliah

This is why you're awesome, Liliah. Thanks for making my morning. :)

[r90]

When you recognize your trigger, yet you can't do anything to avoid it...

[Girly]

When you can't sleep because your mind is racing and you think about needing to sleep. You try all the ways recommended to sleep but you can't.

Or

You hide in bed all day to avoid difficult situations.

[r90]

You hide in bed all day to avoid difficult situations.

Oh God, this happened with me once due to a very embarrassing OCD situation!

Edited by r90, 01 May 2011 - 09:18 PM.

[Blossom806]

You know your'e borderline when...

You just agreed with everything everyone else posted above you but you still feel like you are alone...

[icebaby]

You spend half the day thinking 'you just dont understand!!' when people question you over things, and not in a diva dramatic way, in a completely honest they dont understand way.

Just wanted to say a big thank you - my therapist ask me yesterday to try and stop saying to her "you don't understand".

I thought it was just me - it may sound weird but I am relieved it is not just me.

You are most definately not alone.

[icebaby]

... You have spent a whole 24/48hours not contacting anyone just hiding away in wonder if anyone would actually notice/miss you.

[SadUK]

... You have spent a whole 24/48hours not contacting anyone just hiding away in wonder if anyone would actually notice/miss you.

I get that, I'm off work sick at the moment and no-one knows, I can see the headline now "Body of woman found after 4 months...."

[Girly]

You spend half the weekend wanting to go out and do something but have no idea of where or what and can't really be bothered to actually go anywhere anyway.

[icebaby]

You spend half the weekend wanting to go out and do something but have no idea of where or what and can't really be bothered to actually go anywhere anyway.

100%

[Girly]

... You have spent a whole 24/48hours not contacting anyone just hiding away in wonder if anyone would actually notice/miss you.

I get that, I'm off work sick at the moment and no-one knows, I can see the headline now "Body of woman found after 4 months...."

SadUK, I understand how you are feeling and people here on DF really do care. Thinking of you.

Girly

[Liliah]

For some reason, there came that thick empty hollow in your stomach on Friday, and lingered through out the weekend in everything you did. You'd thought you were okay; you felt fine, good even, the day before. Sometimes it seems you don't know where one emotion ends and the other begins, or if that void is actually always there, just with greater or lesser intensity.

[Loneliness]

Hmm...I'm reading these replies and nodding my head. I don't think I have BPD though ...

[Girly]

Hmm...I'm reading these replies and nodding my head. I don't think I have BPD though ...

Hi Loneliness,
Welcome to the Personality Disorders room. You don't necessarily have to have borderline personality disorder to have some of the borderline traits. DF is a great place to come to, hope that you feel less lonely here.

Liliah you describe borderline personality disorder very eloquently. I hope that the void lessens for you.

Girly

[natzini]

Hi, I'm new.

You over-contact someone, smother them with messages so much, even though you know they have mental health issues (love you one day, hate you the next), trigger them and encounter an awful, heartbreaking argument.

You then decide after lots of persuasion that you need to cut ties, but still have that horrible 'i might just text/email' thought in your head a lot...

Hate it.

[SadUK]

Hi, I'm new.

You over-contact someone, smother them with messages so much, even though you know they have mental health issues (love you one day, hate you the next), trigger them and encounter an awful, heartbreaking argument.

You then decide after lots of persuasion that you need to cut ties, but still have that horrible 'i might just text/email' thought in your head a lot...

Hate it.

Hi and welcome! You'll find lots of lovely people and support on here!

I have this at the moment with someone and it's hard. But I am doing what is right for me and cutting them out... at least that is my plan today, tomorrow I'll do my own head in wondering if it's the right thing to do!

[ellymerryweather]

.... when you started reading all the replies, loved them for being an accurate description of you, had a nice chuckle, started to get very bored, got annoyed with the boredom, got p***** off with the people posting (sorry guys!), felt sorry for beng p***** for absolutely no reason, decided you want to reply, didn't know what to reply, replied, felt very anxious about how people are going to view your reply.

blah

[Girly]

Hi Natzini and ellymerryweather, good to have you here.

I know the thing. A guy asks you out and you go for a meal. The guy is totally too nice for you so you tell them why. The guy then gets the message that a friendship is what is required. But there is still a bit of disappointment! The friendship then becomes a worry. Any friendship with anyone becomes a huge worry. If someone doesn't reply to a text it is taken as a rejection. I'm working on Mentalization. Thinking about what others think about me and holding onto those thoughts in a positive way.
It is getting easier, for me I internalized too much and was hospitalised. Finding the right balance is important.

Edited by Girly, 19 May 2011 - 03:44 PM.

[icebaby]

You know all the stuff about the end of the world today was unrealistic but still worried yourself stupid over it every alternate minute of the day, to the point you've been checking timezones for 6pm and what's happening around the world and still at 6.10pm are thinking aaaah but maybe all my clocks are wrong, or maybe they meant 6pm in america? which part of america? What time will it be here when the rest of the world has hit 6pm?....

.... and you know full well you'll go through the same thing next year with the stuff about the Maayan calendar.

[r90]

.... felt very anxious about how people are going to view your reply.

Wohoo, you're not alone, I always get such feeling whenever I post (not only on DF)

[Girly]

When you get angry with someone and they acknowledge that the anger is actually justified but it still takes the edge off your day and ruins your mood.

[ellymerryweather]

you're doing schoolwork for the first time in months because the new meds seem to be working (yay), then your computer restarts on its own mid-writing and you get so frustrated with the though of having lost your work the first thing you do is go on DF to calm down so you wouldn't start shouting

thanks r90, made me smile :)

[Girly]

Coming on to DF to vent is a good thing ellymerryweather, better than shouting at others or objects.

[Liliah]

I was just hysterical crying and ranting because the unemployment office website was down and could not process my claim, and thus tomorrow I have the great pleasure of first going to my intensive outpatient program at the hospital and then immediately engaging in what is sure to be a bureaucratic nightmare. Approximately a half an hour later, I was dancing and singing to Lady Gaga.

Holy BPD mood swings! Sometimes, you just gotta laugh.

[looking4freedom]

You know you're borderline when...

After watching TV or movies, you need to remind yourself of what's real and what is not.

I can completely relate to this...My boyfriend doesn't understand why I can't watch horror movies without having a panic attack...it's because I think WAY too much about it and put myself in the sufferer's shoes.

Thank you! Someone else who feels the same way I do...

[Helium]

You cant plan anything because you know that you dont know if you'll be in the mood by then

I relate to that, but I´m not BPD... I should probably not be intruding this conversation. :(

[Helium]

For some reason, there came that thick empty hollow in your stomach on Friday, and lingered through out the weekend in everything you did. You'd thought you were okay; you felt fine, good even, the day before. Sometimes it seems you don't know where one emotion ends and the other begins, or if that void is actually always there, just with greater or lesser intensity.

I totally relate, even if I don´t have BPD. I thought I was the only one with this kind of feeling.