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Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID)


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#1 Lindsay

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Posted 07 April 2006 - 12:58 AM

1. Previously known as multiple personality disorder, dissociative identity disorder (DID) is a dissociative disorder in which two or more distinct identities take control of a patient’s behavioral patterns. It is the result of a failure or inability to integrate identity, memory and consciousness. Patients with this condition have gaps in memory or an inability to remember important personal information. A patient’s passive identities have less complete memories than their aggressive personalities.

Dissociation is a psychological defense mechanism in which anxiety-provoking thoughts, emotions or physical sensations are separated from the rest of the psyche. Patients with DID may have 100 or more identities, although about half of all patients experience 10 identities or fewer. Just one personality controls a patient’s behavior at any given time, and the various personalities may have their own personal history, self-image and identity. Psychosocial stress often triggers the transition from one identity to another. In most cases, these changes take just seconds, although the transition can be more gradual.

Childhood trauma (e.g., from physical, sexual or emotional abuse) is believed to be the chief trigger of DID. Patients with DID frequently are not aware that they have the condition and may seek medical help because of unexplained episodes of memory loss. A physician will perform a complete physical examination and compile a thorough medical history while trying to determine the cause of this memory loss.

During the physical evaluation, patients will be asked to recount a complete history of symptoms, including when they started, how long they have lasted and how severe they are. It is also noted whether the patient has had these symptoms before and, if so, whether and how they were treated. In addition, other tests and questioning may be performed to rule out other conditions – such as schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, anxiety disorders or factitious disorders – that may be the source of symptoms.

Psychotherapy is the primary treatment for DID. In most cases, patients are encouraged to remember any trauma they may have repressed and to gradually work through it. There are no medications specifically intended to treat DID. However, some medications used to treat other disorders (e.g., antidepressants, anti-anxiety medications) are known to help some patients with DID.
Because DID is so closely associated with childhood trauma, the best prevention method is helping children avoid situations where they might be physically, emotionally or sexually abused. In addition, parents should take their child to a physician soon after the child experiences any significant trauma.

2. Dissociative identity disorder (DID) is a dissociative disorder in which a person has at least two distinct personalities that control their behavior at different times. Previously known as multiple personality disorder, it often leaves patients with an inability to recall important recent and past personal information. It involves dissociation, a psychological defense mechanism in which anxiety-provoking thoughts, emotions or physical sensations are separated from the rest of the psyche.

An individual’s personality is made up of lasting patterns of perceiving, relating to and thinking about oneself and the surrounding environment. People with DID feel as if they have more than one personality state and may switch suddenly from one of these identities to another. These identities – known as alters – may vary tremendously. For example, one alter may be quiet and shy whereas another is loud and boisterous. In some cases, patients may have alters of different genders and various ages. Despite having multiple alters, it is important to remember that these various alternate states are all manifestations of one single person.

Patients with DID may believe they have up to 100 or more distinct personalities. About half of all patients experience 10 or fewer personalities. Each personality has its own personal history, self-image and identity (including a name). These personalities may be aware of one another, but just one personality controls a patient’s behavior at any given time.

Most patients develop DID during childhood, although the disease is not always recognized during those childhood years. It is diagnosed three to nine times more frequently in women than in men, and women tend to have more identities (15 or more) than men (who average approximately eight identities). Many patients report a history of sexual abuse. Stress often triggers the transition from one personality to another. Symptoms of DID may appear less frequently in patients who reach their late 40s and beyond, but may re-emerge during times of stress, trauma or substance abuse.

In recent years, a rise in the number of DID cases has been reported in the United States. Some believe that a greater awareness of DID among medical professionals has contributed to a higher number of diagnoses of the disorder. Others believe the condition is becoming over diagnosed.
Patients with DID may also be diagnosed with post-traumatic symptoms (such as nightmares or flashbacks), or with post-traumatic stress disorder.


3. Potential causes of dissociative identity disorder

Childhood trauma, such as physical, sexual or emotional abuse, is believed to be the chief trigger of dissociative identity disorder (DID). Other stressors that can trigger the condition include combat, natural disasters, kidnapping, torture and invasive medical procedures. In addition, genetic components may be a factor. Studies have shown DID to be more common in people who have a first-degree relative with the disorder.

Children under stresses such as abuse may develop DID as a means of coping with the trauma. Children also have a greater ability than adults to step outside themselves and observe trauma in a third-person fashion. Child who dissociate in this way as a means of coping may continue to use the practice as adults whenever they are confronted with stress or anxiety-producing situations.
Instances where a person does not develop DID until adulthood are rare. However, it is not unusual for a patient’s DID to go undiagnosed for years until they reach adulthood.

4. Signs and symptoms of DID

The chief symptom of dissociative identity disorder (DID) is the presence of multiple personalities, each of which controls the patient’s behavior at one time. Typically a patient’s primary identity has the person’s own given name and is passive, dependent, guilty and depressed. Meanwhile, other personalities - or alters - that surface at different times are more likely to be hostile, controlling and self-destructive.

The symptoms of DID include behavioral changes in the patient. These changes depend on which personality is in control. For example, the person may appear quiet or boisterous, male or female, or even right-handed or left-handed depending on the personality that is in control. In some patients, alters may have a different vocabulary, possess different general knowledge, have allergies or need eye glasses.

Patients who are under the control of one alter may not remember events that occurred when another alter was in control. Some alters may be aggressive toward certain people or toward other alters. People may exhibit up to 100 or more different identities. However, about half of all patients experience 10 or fewer personalities.

People with DID often experience episodes of amnesia or time loss. They may be greeted by people they do not remember meeting or find possessions they do not recall purchasing. Patients with DID also may suffer from depression or thoughts of suicide. Self-injury is commonplace among patients with DID. About one-third of patients may have auditory or visual hallucinations, according to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI).
Children with DID have many of the same symptoms as adults, although symptoms are often less distinctive than they are in adolescents and adults. Children also may experience anxiety, difficulty paying attention in school or behavioral problems.

5. Diagnosis methods for DID

Patients with dissociative identity disorder (DID) frequently are not aware of the condition when they first visit a physician. Instead, they are likely to seek help because of unexplained episodes of memory loss. A physician will perform a complete physical examination and compile a thorough medical history while trying to determine the cause of this memory loss.

In addition, a physician may ask a patient questions such as:

*
Are they unable to recall previous events?

*
Do they sometimes meet unfamiliar people who claim to know them?

*
Do they find themselves at a location without knowing how they got there?

*
Do they find items they do not recall purchasing?

*
Are they depressed? Do they engage in self-injurious behavior or have suicidal thoughts?

*
Do they experience auditory (hearing) or visual (seeing) hallucinations?

A general physician may refer a patient to a psychiatrist. Because DID is closely associated with childhood trauma, the physician will attempt to obtain enough information from the patient to create a clear outline of the patient’s trauma history. The physician will also inquire about symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder – such as flashbacks and nightmares – because the condition is often associated with DID. In addition, other tests and questioning may be performed to rule out other conditions – such as schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, anxiety disorders or factitious disorders – that in some cases may be the primary source of symptoms.

DID is diagnosed when a patient has at least two distinct personalities, each of which has a lasting pattern of sensing, thinking about and relating to the self and the environment. At least two of the distinct personalities must also come to the fore to control a patient’s behavior, and a patient’s inability to remember cannot be explained by ordinary forgetfulness. In addition, other factors – including substance abuse or a medical condition (e.g., complex partial seizures) – cannot be responsible for the patient’s unusual behavior.

Diagnosing DID in children can be difficult. Symptoms are often less distinct in children than they are in adolescents or adults. In addition, DID should not be diagnosed if symptoms can be attributed to imaginary friends or other fantasy play.
The average time from first symptom to DID diagnosis is between six and seven years.

6. Treatment and prevention of DID

Psychotherapy is the primary treatment for dissociative identity disorder (DID). In most cases, patients are encouraged to remember any trauma they may have repressed and to work through it. Two types of therapy are particularly effective in treating conditions such as DID. Cognitive behavioral therapy helps patients to replace negative thoughts and behaviors with more positive alternatives. Creative art therapy teaches people to use outlets such as dance, art, drama, music and poetry to express thoughts and feelings and cope with trauma.

There are no medications specifically intended to treat DID. However, some medications are known to help some patients with DID. Such drugs include antidepressants, anti-anxiety medications and tranquilizers.
Because DID is so closely associated with childhood trauma, the best prevention method is helping children avoid situations where they might be physically, emotionally or sexually abused. In addition, parents should take their child to a physician soon after the child experiences any significant trauma.

7. Questions for your doctor regarding DID

Preparing questions in advance can help patients to have more meaningful discussions with their physicians regarding their conditions. Patients may wish to ask their doctor the following questions related to dissociative identity disorder:

1.
What is dissociative identity disorder?

2.
What causes dissociative identity disorder?

3.
Do I have any symptoms of dissociative identity disorder?

4.
I have frequent periods of amnesia. Does this mean I have DID?

5.
How many personalities can a person with DID have? How many do you suspect that I have?

6.
What are my treatment options?
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----
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Nothing will have meaning, "ultimately."
Nothing will even mean tomorrow what it did today.  Meaning changes with the context.  
My meaningfulness is in the here and now. It is enough that I may be of value to someone today.
It is enough that I make a difference now."  ~Lindsay    
    

  
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#2 Penny64

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Posted 07 April 2006 - 11:59 AM

Thanks Lindsay for this write up. It is very informative and right on the money.

Let your past make you better, not bitter.


#3 Slim

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Posted 20 July 2006 - 08:43 PM

1. Previously known as multiple personality disorder, dissociative identity disorder (DID) is a dissociative disorder in which two or more distinct identities take control of a patient’s behavioral patterns. It is the result of a failure or inability to integrate identity, memory and consciousness. Patients with this condition have gaps in memory or an inability to remember important personal information. A patient’s passive identities have less complete memories than their aggressive personalities.

I was wondering why I was learning so much more about my formerly aggressive alters compared to my passive alters. I was worried that there was something that I was missing because I am learning so much about some of them and not the others. Thank you for the information.
Slim

#4 Karjn

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Posted 31 July 2007 - 07:15 PM

I am reading up on DID and other identity issues becuase the older i get the more introspective. with that. i find that the definitionso fo these disorders are very real to me.
They scare me, and they define my actions.
Thank you for posting this information.

#5 Guest_Sundown_*

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Posted 21 August 2008 - 05:48 AM

you forgot to add that it sucks :hearts:
but thanks for posting this

#6 Moodbeam

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Posted 21 July 2009 - 10:37 AM

1. Previously known as multiple personality disorder, dissociative identity disorder (DID) is a dissociative disorder in which two or more distinct identities take control of a patient’s behavioral patterns. It is the result of a failure or inability to integrate identity, memory and consciousness. Patients with this condition have gaps in memory or an inability to remember important personal information. A patient’s passive identities have less complete memories than their aggressive personalities.

Dissociation is a psychological defense mechanism in which anxiety-provoking thoughts, emotions or physical sensations are separated from the rest of the psyche. Patients with DID may have 100 or more identities, although about half of all patients experience 10 identities or fewer. Just one personality controls a patient’s behavior at any given time, and the various personalities may have their own personal history, self-image and identity. Psychosocial stress often triggers the transition from one identity to another. In most cases, these changes take just seconds, although the transition can be more gradual.

Childhood trauma (e.g., from physical, sexual or emotional abuse) is believed to be the chief trigger of DID. Patients with DID frequently are not aware that they have the condition and may seek medical help because of unexplained episodes of memory loss. A physician will perform a complete physical examination and compile a thorough medical history while trying to determine the cause of this memory loss.

During the physical evaluation, patients will be asked to recount a complete history of symptoms, including when they started, how long they have lasted and how severe they are. It is also noted whether the patient has had these symptoms before and, if so, whether and how they were treated. In addition, other tests and questioning may be performed to rule out other conditions – such as schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, anxiety disorders or factitious disorders – that may be the source of symptoms.

Psychotherapy is the primary treatment for DID. In most cases, patients are encouraged to remember any trauma they may have repressed and to gradually work through it. There are no medications specifically intended to treat DID. However, some medications used to treat other disorders (e.g., antidepressants, anti-anxiety medications) are known to help some patients with DID.
Because DID is so closely associated with childhood trauma, the best prevention method is helping children avoid situations where they might be physically, emotionally or sexually abused. In addition, parents should take their child to a physician soon after the child experiences any significant trauma.

2. Dissociative identity disorder (DID) is a dissociative disorder in which a person has at least two distinct personalities that control their behavior at different times. Previously known as multiple personality disorder, it often leaves patients with an inability to recall important recent and past personal information. It involves dissociation, a psychological defense mechanism in which anxiety-provoking thoughts, emotions or physical sensations are separated from the rest of the psyche.

An individual’s personality is made up of lasting patterns of perceiving, relating to and thinking about oneself and the surrounding environment. People with DID feel as if they have more than one personality state and may switch suddenly from one of these identities to another. These identities – known as alters – may vary tremendously. For example, one alter may be quiet and shy whereas another is loud and boisterous. In some cases, patients may have alters of different genders and various ages. Despite having multiple alters, it is important to remember that these various alternate states are all manifestations of one single person.

Patients with DID may believe they have up to 100 or more distinct personalities. About half of all patients experience 10 or fewer personalities. Each personality has its own personal history, self-image and identity (including a name). These personalities may be aware of one another, but just one personality controls a patient’s behavior at any given time.

Most patients develop DID during childhood, although the disease is not always recognized during those childhood years. It is diagnosed three to nine times more frequently in women than in men, and women tend to have more identities (15 or more) than men (who average approximately eight identities). Many patients report a history of sexual abuse. Stress often triggers the transition from one personality to another. Symptoms of DID may appear less frequently in patients who reach their late 40s and beyond, but may re-emerge during times of stress, trauma or substance abuse.

In recent years, a rise in the number of DID cases has been reported in the United States. Some believe that a greater awareness of DID among medical professionals has contributed to a higher number of diagnoses of the disorder. Others believe the condition is becoming over diagnosed.
Patients with DID may also be diagnosed with post-traumatic symptoms (such as nightmares or flashbacks), or with post-traumatic stress disorder.


3. Potential causes of dissociative identity disorder

Childhood trauma, such as physical, sexual or emotional abuse, is believed to be the chief trigger of dissociative identity disorder (DID). Other stressors that can trigger the condition include combat, natural disasters, kidnapping, torture and invasive medical procedures. In addition, genetic components may be a factor. Studies have shown DID to be more common in people who have a first-degree relative with the disorder.

Children under stresses such as abuse may develop DID as a means of coping with the trauma. Children also have a greater ability than adults to step outside themselves and observe trauma in a third-person fashion. Child who dissociate in this way as a means of coping may continue to use the practice as adults whenever they are confronted with stress or anxiety-producing situations.
Instances where a person does not develop DID until adulthood are rare. However, it is not unusual for a patient’s DID to go undiagnosed for years until they reach adulthood.

4. Signs and symptoms of DID

The chief symptom of dissociative identity disorder (DID) is the presence of multiple personalities, each of which controls the patient’s behavior at one time. Typically a patient’s primary identity has the person’s own given name and is passive, dependent, guilty and depressed. Meanwhile, other personalities - or alters - that surface at different times are more likely to be hostile, controlling and self-destructive.

The symptoms of DID include behavioral changes in the patient. These changes depend on which personality is in control. For example, the person may appear quiet or boisterous, male or female, or even right-handed or left-handed depending on the personality that is in control. In some patients, alters may have a different vocabulary, possess different general knowledge, have allergies or need eye glasses.

Patients who are under the control of one alter may not remember events that occurred when another alter was in control. Some alters may be aggressive toward certain people or toward other alters. People may exhibit up to 100 or more different identities. However, about half of all patients experience 10 or fewer personalities.

People with DID often experience episodes of amnesia or time loss. They may be greeted by people they do not remember meeting or find possessions they do not recall purchasing. Patients with DID also may suffer from depression or thoughts of suicide. Self-injury is commonplace among patients with DID. About one-third of patients may have auditory or visual hallucinations, according to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI).
Children with DID have many of the same symptoms as adults, although symptoms are often less distinctive than they are in adolescents and adults. Children also may experience anxiety, difficulty paying attention in school or behavioral problems.

5. Diagnosis methods for DID

Patients with dissociative identity disorder (DID) frequently are not aware of the condition when they first visit a physician. Instead, they are likely to seek help because of unexplained episodes of memory loss. A physician will perform a complete physical examination and compile a thorough medical history while trying to determine the cause of this memory loss.

In addition, a physician may ask a patient questions such as:

*
Are they unable to recall previous events?

*
Do they sometimes meet unfamiliar people who claim to know them?

*
Do they find themselves at a location without knowing how they got there?

*
Do they find items they do not recall purchasing?

*
Are they depressed? Do they engage in self-injurious behavior or have suicidal thoughts?

*
Do they experience auditory (hearing) or visual (seeing) hallucinations?

A general physician may refer a patient to a psychiatrist. Because DID is closely associated with childhood trauma, the physician will attempt to obtain enough information from the patient to create a clear outline of the patient’s trauma history. The physician will also inquire about symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder – such as flashbacks and nightmares – because the condition is often associated with DID. In addition, other tests and questioning may be performed to rule out other conditions – such as schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, anxiety disorders or factitious disorders – that in some cases may be the primary source of symptoms.

DID is diagnosed when a patient has at least two distinct personalities, each of which has a lasting pattern of sensing, thinking about and relating to the self and the environment. At least two of the distinct personalities must also come to the fore to control a patient’s behavior, and a patient’s inability to remember cannot be explained by ordinary forgetfulness. In addition, other factors – including substance abuse or a medical condition (e.g., complex partial seizures) – cannot be responsible for the patient’s unusual behavior.

Diagnosing DID in children can be difficult. Symptoms are often less distinct in children than they are in adolescents or adults. In addition, DID should not be diagnosed if symptoms can be attributed to imaginary friends or other fantasy play.
The average time from first symptom to DID diagnosis is between six and seven years.

6. Treatment and prevention of DID

Psychotherapy is the primary treatment for dissociative identity disorder (DID). In most cases, patients are encouraged to remember any trauma they may have repressed and to work through it. Two types of therapy are particularly effective in treating conditions such as DID. Cognitive behavioral therapy helps patients to replace negative thoughts and behaviors with more positive alternatives. Creative art therapy teaches people to use outlets such as dance, art, drama, music and poetry to express thoughts and feelings and cope with trauma.

There are no medications specifically intended to treat DID. However, some medications are known to help some patients with DID. Such drugs include antidepressants, anti-anxiety medications and tranquilizers.
Because DID is so closely associated with childhood trauma, the best prevention method is helping children avoid situations where they might be physically, emotionally or sexually abused. In addition, parents should take their child to a physician soon after the child experiences any significant trauma.

7. Questions for your doctor regarding DID

Preparing questions in advance can help patients to have more meaningful discussions with their physicians regarding their conditions. Patients may wish to ask their doctor the following questions related to dissociative identity disorder:

1.
What is dissociative identity disorder?

2.
What causes dissociative identity disorder?

3.
Do I have any symptoms of dissociative identity disorder?

4.
I have frequent periods of amnesia. Does this mean I have DID?

5.
How many personalities can a person with DID have? How many do you suspect that I have?

6.
What are my treatment options?

Thank you, Lindsay. For some reason DID becomes realized when in your forties. Some trigger comes about then BAM, your people emerge. That's how it went with me. Like fast flipping a deck of cards, I came to see and understand many. Then much, much further understanding as time went on in therapy. Now, I'm slowly becoming more integrated. I'm not even trying. Just seems to be happening. I don't know how I feel about this as I feel I'm lossing my "powers". In my twenties, living alone, a friend asked me if I ever got lonely. I thought about it for a spit second and replied "Actually, no. I always feel like I have company". Little did I know.
"If your find a path with no obsticals, it probably doesn't lead anywhere."
Frank A. Clark

#7 broken_child

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Posted 06 October 2009 - 03:25 PM

I was diagnosed with this while getting intensive treatment for my trauma. I have mostly integrated since then. The self destructive ones integrated first for which I was pleased.
~I will not allow my past to define me~

#8 Zomb1e

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Posted 01 November 2009 - 07:06 AM

ive been suffering with this for many years along with major depression. it seems like just recently it has gotten worse. i feel like im going through a pyschosis. ive noticed that my spendings on drugs has gotten higher as well.

#9 deborahn

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Posted 02 November 2009 - 06:13 PM

I was 36 when I got into AA, then into therapy. I had no memory of my life like other people did.
I didn't even know what my favorite color was, what I liked to wear, I just like woke up, and was 36
years old.

Found this therapist finally who, well it was his eyes that looked so different than anything I had ever
seen, they just sparkled, someone was in that body that stood before me, and it was the safest feeling
I had ever felt.

I sat there for over a year with my sunglasses on, and then can remember when we took them off, and
how that felt. He just said "Hello there" I could be wrong about how long before I took the glasses off it
could have been 3 years, but I do know that's about the time I finally said I have a question for you, and
said I wanted to know what he would diagnosis me with. He laughed, and siad" Why do you want to go on
oprah"? I said no, and you know how I am, I said "am I a multiple", all the while knowing I was, but not wanting
to hear the answer from him. Of course he answered "Yes", and all that I could say was "NO, NO,NO".

I don't remember much else of tht day at all. Our sessions always lasted only 5 min, and I never could figure that out
for the longest time, and why I never knew what had been talked about until the last few minutes, as he was putting
his shoes back on. I remember the first time that happened. I got there, and 5 min later he was putting his shoes back on,
and I said "Why are you putting your shoes on" He spoke so gently, and said that the time was up.


Debbie

#10 adorabelle

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Posted 05 November 2009 - 02:52 PM

ive been suffering with this for many years along with major depression. it seems like just recently it has gotten worse. i feel like im going through a pyschosis. ive noticed that my spendings on drugs has gotten higher as well.


Welcome to DF zomb1e,

how are you doing now? Are you talking to your Dr/therapist about the way you feel and your spending habits?


:shocked:
I'm too positive to be doubtful, too optimistic to be fearful and way too determined to be defeated. 
 
goldenvelope1jr.gif

#11 adorabelle

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Posted 05 November 2009 - 02:54 PM

I was 36 when I got into AA, then into therapy. I had no memory of my life like other people did.
I didn't even know what my favorite color was, what I liked to wear, I just like woke up, and was 36
years old.

Found this therapist finally who, well it was his eyes that looked so different than anything I had ever
seen, they just sparkled, someone was in that body that stood before me, and it was the safest feeling
I had ever felt.

I sat there for over a year with my sunglasses on, and then can remember when we took them off, and
how that felt. He just said "Hello there" I could be wrong about how long before I took the glasses off it
could have been 3 years, but I do know that's about the time I finally said I have a question for you, and
said I wanted to know what he would diagnosis me with. He laughed, and siad" Why do you want to go on
oprah"? I said no, and you know how I am, I said "am I a multiple", all the while knowing I was, but not wanting
to hear the answer from him. Of course he answered "Yes", and all that I could say was "NO, NO,NO".

I don't remember much else of tht day at all. Our sessions always lasted only 5 min, and I never could figure that out
for the longest time, and why I never knew what had been talked about until the last few minutes, as he was putting
his shoes back on. I remember the first time that happened. I got there, and 5 min later he was putting his shoes back on,
and I said "Why are you putting your shoes on" He spoke so gently, and said that the time was up.


Debbie


Hi Debbie!

I'm glad to hear you found a wonderful therapist. It makes talking about things a bit easier when you find someone you feel you can trust and feel safe with.
Are your sessions still going well? How have you been these days?
Keep us posted, we are always here to listen,

:shocked:
I'm too positive to be doubtful, too optimistic to be fearful and way too determined to be defeated. 
 
goldenvelope1jr.gif

#12 TenaceFemme

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Posted 16 December 2009 - 12:08 AM

Ok so his shoes were off???? Why??? This sounds scary

#13 Slim

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Posted 18 June 2010 - 09:29 PM

1. Previously known as multiple personality disorder, dissociative identity disorder (DID) is a dissociative disorder in which two or more distinct identities take control of a patient’s behavioral patterns. It is the result of a failure or inability to integrate identity, memory and consciousness. Patients with this condition have gaps in memory or an inability to remember important personal information. A patient’s passive identities have less complete memories than their aggressive personalities.

I was wondering why I was learning so much more about my formerly aggressive alters compared to my passive alters. I was worried that there was something that I was missing because I am learning so much about some of them and not the others. Thank you for the information.
Slim

GOOD NEWS,
After 5 years of treatment for depression and DID Living with up to 10 alters at one time I have come through and am healing nicely. All my alters have integrated and my life has returned to some normalcy. I now can handle a full time job and I no longer self-injure myself. I have reached out to some others with DID that I have met on another site and helped then so that they don't feel alone and try to help them if I can. It is interesting to find that there are few of us men that have DID compared to females. I have found several that I chat with that as I had felt alone. The thing I had to do was forgive myself for what happened in the past. All my alters ended up becoming my friend prior to integration. I still have problems with my memory but I suppose that will not change. I am getting old. (50) I wish all of you well and I hope you all find comfort in knowing that there is an end to the pain and it can be happy. Stick with your treatment and try to remain calm as possible. I hope you have a life partner that is as understandable as I do she has helped me through my journey. Slim

#14 Girly

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Posted 19 June 2010 - 05:35 AM

GOOD NEWS,
After 5 years of treatment for depression and DID Living with up to 10 alters at one time I have come through and am healing nicely. All my alters have integrated and my life has returned to some normalcy. I now can handle a full time job and I no longer self-injure myself. I have reached out to some others with DID that I have met on another site and helped then so that they don't feel alone and try to help them if I can. It is interesting to find that there are few of us men that have DID compared to females. I have found several that I chat with that as I had felt alone. The thing I had to do was forgive myself for what happened in the past. All my alters ended up becoming my friend prior to integration. I still have problems with my memory but I suppose that will not change. I am getting old. (50) I wish all of you well and I hope you all find comfort in knowing that there is an end to the pain and it can be happy. Stick with your treatment and try to remain calm as possible. I hope you have a life partner that is as understandable as I do she has helped me through my journey. Slim


Hi there Slim this is really fantastic news :shocked: :wwww:

It is so moving to hear such inspirational stories from others. Would it be possible for you to give our members some more information on the treatment that you recived?

Thank you so much for updating us,

Girly
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"No matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow". ღ ~Maya Angelou

Diagnosis - Borderline Personality Disorder. Meds - citalopram and olanzapine.

#15 Slim

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Posted 19 June 2010 - 06:07 PM

GOOD NEWS,
After 5 years of treatment for depression and DID Living with up to 10 alters at one time I have come through and am healing nicely. All my alters have integrated and my life has returned to some normalcy. I now can handle a full time job and I no longer self-injure myself. I have reached out to some others with DID that I have met on another site and helped then so that they don't feel alone and try to help them if I can. It is interesting to find that there are few of us men that have DID compared to females. I have found several that I chat with that as I had felt alone. The thing I had to do was forgive myself for what happened in the past. All my alters ended up becoming my friend prior to integration. I still have problems with my memory but I suppose that will not change. I am getting old. (50) I wish all of you well and I hope you all find comfort in knowing that there is an end to the pain and it can be happy. Stick with your treatment and try to remain calm as possible. I hope you have a life partner that is as understandable as I do she has helped me through my journey. Slim


Hi there Slim this is really fantastic news :shocked: :wwww:

It is so moving to hear such inspirational stories from others. Would it be possible for you to give our members some more information on the treatment that you recived?

Thank you so much for updating us,

Girly

Hi Girly,
well as for my treatment I started with a therapist who was trying to get me to tune out and ignore the voices and visuals and that didn' work. I found a DID specialist who was a Psychologist and she walked me through a whole spectrum of making jobs for each of the alters inside. They were also given time Up front so that they didn't pop up when it was inconvienent. We set up a whole inside world where they could live together and take care of each other, the older ones would help the younger ones. We would meet with the therapist at least two times per week. The alters would write to the therapist and let her know what was on their mind. Most of the times I was not to read what they wrote and that was ok with me. In our sessions we would discuss what they wrote and then she would talk to my alters and discuss what was going on that week. I was co conscious so I was there but not in control It was like I was in the back seat looking over their shoulder. It was not always a smooth recovery. There were times when the alters were mean and nasty to me. I have some tattoos that they did when they were in control. We worked like this for about a year and had one of the 10 integrate but then it was time to switch therapists. My wife was concerned about how i was responding to therapy. I came out totally drained and she was worried about me.

I started with another therapist and he had a totally different approach. He would only contact with me the host. We worked on my past problems with my family and my abusers and he helped my alters feel that they were ready to join the others. I sometimes miss chatting with them they were interesting people but I have to live in the real world where my family is and there are people who depend on me.

This is a short summary of what I did to go through the healing process. My wife gets a little nervous when she sees that I am focusing on my DID issues she is so afraid that they will pop up again. But I know they are not going to because I am focused on my new life. I love my new job.I have had it now for 3years and it is helping the elderly and they accept me for who I am. My boss knows about my history and she has been supportive of my recovery. I guess I have been very lucky.
Thanks for listening to my little story.
Tim

#16 Avian86

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Posted 20 June 2010 - 12:17 AM

GOOD NEWS,
After 5 years of treatment for depression and DID Living with up to 10 alters at one time I have come through and am healing nicely. All my alters have integrated and my life has returned to some normalcy. I now can handle a full time job and I no longer self-injure myself. I have reached out to some others with DID that I have met on another site and helped then so that they don't feel alone and try to help them if I can. It is interesting to find that there are few of us men that have DID compared to females. I have found several that I chat with that as I had felt alone. The thing I had to do was forgive myself for what happened in the past. All my alters ended up becoming my friend prior to integration. I still have problems with my memory but I suppose that will not change. I am getting old. (50) I wish all of you well and I hope you all find comfort in knowing that there is an end to the pain and it can be happy. Stick with your treatment and try to remain calm as possible. I hope you have a life partner that is as understandable as I do she has helped me through my journey. Slim


Hi there Slim this is really fantastic news :shocked: :wwww:

It is so moving to hear such inspirational stories from others. Would it be possible for you to give our members some more information on the treatment that you recived?

Thank you so much for updating us,

Girly

Hi Girly,
well as for my treatment I started with a therapist who was trying to get me to tune out and ignore the voices and visuals and that didn' work. I found a DID specialist who was a Psychologist and she walked me through a whole spectrum of making jobs for each of the alters inside. They were also given time Up front so that they didn't pop up when it was inconvienent. We set up a whole inside world where they could live together and take care of each other, the older ones would help the younger ones. We would meet with the therapist at least two times per week. The alters would write to the therapist and let her know what was on their mind. Most of the times I was not to read what they wrote and that was ok with me. In our sessions we would discuss what they wrote and then she would talk to my alters and discuss what was going on that week. I was co conscious so I was there but not in control It was like I was in the back seat looking over their shoulder. It was not always a smooth recovery. There were times when the alters were mean and nasty to me. I have some tattoos that they did when they were in control. We worked like this for about a year and had one of the 10 integrate but then it was time to switch therapists. My wife was concerned about how i was responding to therapy. I came out totally drained and she was worried about me.

I started with another therapist and he had a totally different approach. He would only contact with me the host. We worked on my past problems with my family and my abusers and he helped my alters feel that they were ready to join the others. I sometimes miss chatting with them they were interesting people but I have to live in the real world where my family is and there are people who depend on me.

This is a short summary of what I did to go through the healing process. My wife gets a little nervous when she sees that I am focusing on my DID issues she is so afraid that they will pop up again. But I know they are not going to because I am focused on my new life. I love my new job.I have had it now for 3years and it is helping the elderly and they accept me for who I am. My boss knows about my history and she has been supportive of my recovery. I guess I have been very lucky.
Thanks for listening to my little story.
Tim

Wow that is an interesting story and an amazing recovery! I thank you for sharing this with us. I am a psychology student and am fascinated with the human mind and psychopathology :D

#17 Girly

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Posted 20 June 2010 - 04:30 PM

GOOD NEWS,
After 5 years of treatment for depression and DID Living with up to 10 alters at one time I have come through and am healing nicely. All my alters have integrated and my life has returned to some normalcy. I now can handle a full time job and I no longer self-injure myself. I have reached out to some others with DID that I have met on another site and helped then so that they don't feel alone and try to help them if I can. It is interesting to find that there are few of us men that have DID compared to females. I have found several that I chat with that as I had felt alone. The thing I had to do was forgive myself for what happened in the past. All my alters ended up becoming my friend prior to integration. I still have problems with my memory but I suppose that will not change. I am getting old. (50) I wish all of you well and I hope you all find comfort in knowing that there is an end to the pain and it can be happy. Stick with your treatment and try to remain calm as possible. I hope you have a life partner that is as understandable as I do she has helped me through my journey. Slim


Hi there Slim this is really fantastic news :shocked: :wwww:

It is so moving to hear such inspirational stories from others. Would it be possible for you to give our members some more information on the treatment that you recived?

Thank you so much for updating us,

Girly

Hi Girly,
well as for my treatment I started with a therapist who was trying to get me to tune out and ignore the voices and visuals and that didn' work. I found a DID specialist who was a Psychologist and she walked me through a whole spectrum of making jobs for each of the alters inside. They were also given time Up front so that they didn't pop up when it was inconvienent. We set up a whole inside world where they could live together and take care of each other, the older ones would help the younger ones. We would meet with the therapist at least two times per week. The alters would write to the therapist and let her know what was on their mind. Most of the times I was not to read what they wrote and that was ok with me. In our sessions we would discuss what they wrote and then she would talk to my alters and discuss what was going on that week. I was co conscious so I was there but not in control It was like I was in the back seat looking over their shoulder. It was not always a smooth recovery. There were times when the alters were mean and nasty to me. I have some tattoos that they did when they were in control. We worked like this for about a year and had one of the 10 integrate but then it was time to switch therapists. My wife was concerned about how i was responding to therapy. I came out totally drained and she was worried about me.

I started with another therapist and he had a totally different approach. He would only contact with me the host. We worked on my past problems with my family and my abusers and he helped my alters feel that they were ready to join the others. I sometimes miss chatting with them they were interesting people but I have to live in the real world where my family is and there are people who depend on me.

This is a short summary of what I did to go through the healing process. My wife gets a little nervous when she sees that I am focusing on my DID issues she is so afraid that they will pop up again. But I know they are not going to because I am focused on my new life. I love my new job.I have had it now for 3years and it is helping the elderly and they accept me for who I am. My boss knows about my history and she has been supportive of my recovery. I guess I have been very lucky.
Thanks for listening to my little story.
Tim


Thank you so much Tim

As Avian86 has said this really is interesting. It is amazing to hear that you've been through so much and got through it.

Thank you so much for sharing this with us Tim. i do hope that others with DID will read your story and get inspiration from it.

Girly
Girly


"No matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow". ღ ~Maya Angelou

Diagnosis - Borderline Personality Disorder. Meds - citalopram and olanzapine.

#18 Trace

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Posted 21 June 2010 - 05:53 AM

Hi Slim

That is absolutely fantastic news and it can give so much hope. I am so glad that you are healing, this is absolutely awesome to read!

Trace
Listen in deep silence. Be very still and open your mind.... Sink deep into the peace that waits for you beyond the frantic, riotous thoughts and sights and sounds of this insane world. - A course of miracles.

True beauty must come, must be grown, from within.... - Ralph W Trine.



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#19 NekrosdeMort

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Posted 07 August 2010 - 05:11 AM

Unsure.

My name is Andrew and im 32YO. When i was 15/16/17YO sometime around then i was "taken over" by someone else. I just sort of "went to sleep" for a few days. I found that this "person" took me over whenever everything got too stressful for me. At least.. thats the only times i REMEMBER him taking me over.

I sat down and named him "Tristram" which, in the book i was reading, meant "rider of the tumult". More of a descriptive name of what his "job" was... for some reason he just needed a name...

Over many years of practise i toyed around with how to "evoke" this change in myself.. how to bring out Tristram. Thinking i had gone insane.. i wandered through life until i found a website on "the multiple personality gift" which was very kind and accepting and detailed an example dialogue one could have with their alter... This seemed ridiculous to me until i tried question 1... "what do you want?" .. to which i received a reply "to **** you".

niiiice i thought.. as well as a few other things such as "OMFG!" haha :) After working through the dialogue though i realised "Tristram" didnt want to **** me. He wanted to keep himself safe.. and that MY personality kept taking over when he was out and he couldnt control it.. so he was fighting me for control.. while i was fighting him for control. By the end of the conversation we discussed our different skills and abilities.. I was better in social situations and he was better in creative situations.. so we came to some sort of mutually agreed cease-fire. and agreed to work together.

This was the start of me really starting to deal with who i am.

Later, on a deeper exploration into myself, i found my 5YO alter "Kalen" who, i believed at the time, held the keys to my emotions... which seemed somehow dormant.

In later years in a time of a personal crisis i "discovered" (or did i create her at the time?) Azariel. A female ghost-like person who is the epitome of love and kindless.. who nursed me through a difficult S.I. time.

Each psychologist/councillor i have ever spoken wipes away "D.I.D." with a wave of their hand saying "Have you ever been professionally diagnosed? No? well you dont have it!"

So, as line 1 of my letter states.. i am unsure. Each of my "people" have different likes/dislikes/writing styles/voices/manerisms/goals/thought processes/skills and abilities.

Tristram is immune to pain. He has a will of iron and can pull me up when i dont have the strength to move. He is a dark vampiric angelic monk who is so incredibly wise all the time.

Kalen is beautiful and sweet and pure and kind. He always asks questions and is always eager to understand and learn something new. He's always the first to try and cheer me up when im feeling down and is never phased by anything thats going on (probably because it all goes over his little head)

Azariel is just such a beautiful creature.. shes always there for me just to encourage me and wrap me up with love.

and me.. im the social one. I love people and love just going crazy with them :) I love talking and im always the first one to jump out and chat to people when people are around. I am also fairly withdrawn and depressed at times and i worry about how i can't really click with my own emotions or other people around me.

I have no memory of my childhood other than a few key points i seem to have memorised.. like finding one old set of photographs tucked away in grandma's dresser drawer. I dont relate to the fragments i can remember. They are mearly snap-shots of things that, i assume, my mind found desperately important to remember and memorise at the time. So i don't call them memories as i dont actually remember them. I call them memorisations.. like finding a piece of paper folded up in an old pair of pants with a phone number scrawled on it.. I have things in my memory.. but no reference as to why i have them or what they mean or any other information in conjunction with them. My "memory" seems to have started forming around age 16 or so.

I get constant... gaps in time when im stressed and things go missing, or ive already done something i was trying to do. I can drive, sms and email perfectly fine when i "fall asleep".. and then suddenly wake up to find that i have finished typing a sentence while i was sleeping.. or that somehow i have perfectly kept the car in between the lines and at the correct speed limit (I STRONGLY do not recommend this. im expecting next time it happens to not have been so sucessful. It just happened to me a few weeks ago and freaked me out. I shouldnt have been okay.. but i was)

I "react" and just watch myself do things when i am in a crisis.. with no control over my body.. Tristram comes out and does some amazing "Fast and the Furious" driving or "Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon" manoevers which leave me dumb-founded.

Yet.. in australia i havent yet come across a councillor who says "oh yes, sounds like DID to me. how about i ask you a few questions".. instead they discredit it and start discussing my relationship with my mother, then ask me to keep a diary.

After filling 200 pages of the diary by the next session and handing it to them just to see their eyebrows raise and watch them flip through possibly.. 3.. 4 pages of it then then commence dealing with how i feel "sad" sometimes or something else that seems ridiculously trivial.

So im at a stage where i dont know if i have DID. I assume, by the symptoms that i must. However recently, because my inner family and i work so closely together, i havent had the opportunity of "meeting people on the street who know me by a different name" or anything else of the sort typically characteristic of DID.

Anyone got any ideas or thoughts?

Thanks, lost and holding onto hope of finding an answer,

Andrew.

#20 NekrosdeMort

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Posted 07 August 2010 - 11:12 PM

I'm back at work again. sitting in my chair again. feeling depressed again. the same as i have for the last 5.5 years. Prior to this i was sitting at home unemployed again.. sitting in my chair again.. feeling depressed again.. 5.5 years ago.

I just had a pretty bad time of it a few months ago.. disassociated for a few weeks without being able to "wake up". Ended up seeing my G.P. He's put me onto the councillor in their clinic who, upon googling, i find out is trained as a nurse in psychology and has been practising now for 1.8 years.

I ask for help.. and get someone who is not experienced. Yet.. she is the best i have had so far.. for years i have jumped from one councillor to another ... spending a few sessions with some until i realised they had no idea how to come at me.. while others i went to for years.. just to end up coming around full circle back to wear i had started again like some sort of psychotic "There's ***** in my bucket".

I believe i have DID / MPD (Multiple personalities) but.. without any help available from councillors/psychologists in dealing with it I've had to manage it myself. I've taken myself from an insane world where i was trying to **** myself and simultaneously fight this thing trying to take me over and **** me... to working closely now with my "alters". We all have separate skills/thought patterns/voices/mannerisms/writing styles. One likes Red alcohol which "brings him out" while another loves to colour in and sing.

Each time i have spoken to anyone i have seen their immediate response is "Have you been diagnosed with it?" to which i normally find my eyebrows raising.. and say "well no.. thats SORT OF why im here! so i can get some help".. what i actually say is "no".. to which the councillor retorts "then you dont have it! you dont have it until you have been diagnosed with it"

which everyone knows is stupid and makes no sense.. however that seems to be the prevailing theory.. perhaps i come across as some sort of easily-lead and easily-fooled psycological hypercondriac.. who needs to be "talked down" from the dizzying heights of self-diagnosis.

My latest councillor was taken aback.. immediately i could feel her get her back up with she asked me what she could do for me and my response was "i believe i might have multiple personalities"

A few seconds and a few facial expressions later.. she managed to control and compose herself enough to ask "what makes you think that?"

From then on she has avoided the topic at all costs.. even when i was given the task of "writing out a list of goals for myself".. to which i included various multiple personality goals. She got really excited about one small topic i wasnt particularly concerned with.. something along the lines of "i get stressed out when i feel other people are angry at me".. and we spent the entire session with her discussing that.

I feel like im not believed. I have something going on and not one person i have ever spoken to me about it said: "wow.. thats a lot to deal with.. how about we take a look at that and see what we can find out for you?"

Are there ANY councillors/psychologists out there who react this way?

Is there any hope?

Should i just give up?

Should i just keep councilling myself.. then go get a PHD in psychology.. just so that one day i can write a book and explain to people that this does exist and there are people out there?

*sighs*

#21 AngelOfTheMoor

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Posted 10 August 2010 - 12:42 PM

I understand your frustration, NekrosdeMort. :console: It doesn't sound like you've come across any good counselors so far. I would like to hope that there are better ones out there. In my opinion, a counselor should listen to your concerns and directly respond to them . . . It sounds like these therapists are avoiding topics that they might feel uncomfortable discussing more than anything else.

I think that a psychiatrists are supposed to be better than counselors at diagnosis. Have you ever seen a psychiatrist? I suggest that you try one, as diagnoses are more their line of expertise.

#22 NekrosdeMort

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Posted 12 August 2010 - 03:21 AM

I understand your frustration, NekrosdeMort. :console: It doesn't sound like you've come across any good counselors so far. I would like to hope that there are better ones out there. In my opinion, a counselor should listen to your concerns and directly respond to them . . . It sounds like these therapists are avoiding topics that they might feel uncomfortable discussing more than anything else.

I think that a psychiatrists are supposed to be better than counselors at diagnosis. Have you ever seen a psychiatrist? I suggest that you try one, as diagnoses are more their line of expertise.


Thankyou for your suggestion AngelOfTheMoor.

Not really know anything about this.. i went through my G.P. .. who.. i think didnt know anything about it either and referred me to a psychiatric nurse working in the same clinic.

I have seen one psychiatrist once.. the entire experience consisted of him not saying one single word .. literally.. he motioned to the chair and just sat in his own.. staring at me. i proceeded to talk.. to which he wrote a few notes.

After 3 sessions of this i didn't bother going back.. ill have to take a look into it again.

Thankyou.

Andrew. / NekrosdeMort.

#23 NekrosdeMort

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Posted 01 September 2010 - 03:00 AM

During the physical evaluation, patients will be asked to recount a complete history of symptoms, including when they started, how long they have lasted and how severe they are. It is also noted whether the patient has had these symptoms before and, if so, whether and how they were treated. In addition, other tests and questioning may be performed to rule out other conditions – such as schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, anxiety disorders or factitious disorders – that may be the source of symptoms.


*giggles* this is rather inaccurate ;)

Here's my edit:

During the physical evaluation, patients will explain that they believe they may have multiple personality disorder (disassociated identity disorder) to which the patient will be asked "Have you been diagnosed with that?". To which the patient will reply: "no, thats why im here.". The patient will then be told "Well you dont have it then. It has to be diagnosed.". The physician treating the patient will then completely ignore all discussion on D.I.D. and move on to standard questioning techniques (such as "tell me about your mother" and it seems you are sad, lets explore some past events which you do not remember.) for months at a time in an effort to frustrate the patient and drive them away from the practise. No history of symptoms is discussed and no further testing is undertaken on the patient.

hahaha ;) at least.. thats my experience.. and has been since i diagnosed myself 10 years ago after being driven insane for 8 years prior to that with various symptoms including "disappearing" for multiple days and waking up days later having lived my life without my knowledge.

DID is NOT really that hard to work with.. its pretty simple... i dont understand all the mystery surrounding it...

1. We got messed up as kids with extreme stress of some kind
2. The part of the brain that was used to survive the trauma is sealed off from the rest of the conscious mind in the same way as a car accident victim doesnt remember the moment of a car accident.. the section of brain sealed off is just more expansive because the trauma lasted longer.
3. That section of the brain still exists in the brain and there are still links to it. This part of the brain is normally accessed again if the person is placed in a similar situation that requires the use of this part of the brain. At this point that section of the brain is "triggered" and is activated again.
4. Once you find out what triggers off the use of that part of the brain you can start creating more neural pathways to it by triggering it repeatedly (eg: if loud noises triggers it off.. or being on trains triggers it off) while you are in a safe environment.
5. The more neural pathways are created to it the better the connection and the more "integration" is obtained.
6. That section IS a separate section and has been growing there in your brain since the time it was created. It will evolve just like any other part of your brain when it is active. Because it is isolated however it will have evolved differently that the other sections of your brain because it has been exposed to different situations and stimuli.
7. It logically follows that it has different mannerisms, hand writing, speach patterns, self esteem, general identity. in the exact same way that identical twins placed into 2 different environments develop differently.
8. All sections (parts/identities) of the brain are equally valid sections.
9. Each section holds keys to understanding your entire past experience as a human entity.
10. As you experiment with communication between all the sections you will develop more into an entire person.
11. You will ALWAYS have separate sections.. because each section in your mind had to learn to cope independantly of each other. As you work together you will learn to function more and more as a cohesive team (despite the fact that you might/will have differences of opinion)

and Voila.. thats the mystery removed!

This is my experience of DID. I would love to know if anyone sees things differently or has differing thoughts.

Regards, Andrew.

#24 victor_kaleb_kay

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Posted 19 October 2011 - 05:59 PM

I've had DID since I was in fourth grade, but only got seriously diagnosed with it last year by my school psychologist. Because of that, I really want to get into a psychology major in college [two more years!] I hope someday to be able to help kids like me realize things like this and help them through it. Because, I don't really have very supportive parents when it comes to this. My mom doesn't believe I have it, and my step-dad doesn't know a thing because I refuse to tell him, and my real dad...I barely get to see him at all anyway...
So, I'm actually doing my Juniour Research Paper on Dissociative Identity Disorder. And I have some good stuff on it too. Out of all dissociative disorders, DID is probably the least common, and it occurs in only about 1% of all cases. No matter where you look, most of the symtoms are listed the same as well: mood swings [so often mistaken for Bipolar], abnormal fears [so often put off as phobias], suicidal tenencies [so often thought as depression], depression [self explanatory], sleep disorders, partial loss of memory, traits of OCD [so it's often thrown off as plain OCD], headaches, flashbacks, panis attacks, eating problems, addictions, and night terrors. You name it. That's why DID is probably one of the hardest 'disorders' to identify, it has so many symptoms that it could be mistaken for a bunch of other things. But obviously, the main thing is the seperate individual personalities, all having different styles and names [some don't have names though]. There have even been cases where a split is a plant [personally, I'd like to know how that one works...] And there's also been record of a woman having more than 1,000 seperate individual splits.
I want to do a bit more research about this myself, but I was wondering if anyone knows if splits can get splits of their own? Is it possible?

I am Kayla Mina, and I have 16 splits currently, but I haven't gone to anyone about this, because as I said, my parents don't believe in the whole 'mental disorder' thing. But I took a step of my own [those of you who have ever read my blog] and went to the school psychologist last year and talked with her, and she diagnosed me with Dissociative Identity Disorder. At that time, I only had Kaleb Matthew Inugami and Victor Alistair Raine. Neither of them were a threat to me, but Kaleb I've had with me since I was 8 and in fourth grade.

Now, I have 16 splits and it's only been about a year. All have different names, different ways of speech, different ways of thinking. I have three that are potentially dangerous, but so far, nothing terrible has happened. But as I said...this hasn't been so for that long.

Well, maybe this will be of use to somebody, maybe not. I just wanted to get it out there, because this is my only way of venting and letting myself be free of being alone.

~Kayla Mina [and all the rest...]
Kayla, 16- fragile
Kaleb, 8- strong, Protector
Victor, 3- ISH
Mono, 2- Fragment
Derek&Dylan, 1- twins, Dylan is deaf
Dean&Sammy, 1- brothers, Dean is blind
Vergil- jerk
Dante, 1- Gatekeeper
Nero-OBNOXIOUS
Ruben-rude
Sebastian-humble
Roan-cannibal
Krystian- K-9
Seth- genius

#25 Lumessence

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Posted 14 March 2014 - 11:48 AM

I have DID yet I don't.

I have schizo, yet I don't.

SO what do I have?

 

I have most of the symptoms, but nothing meets exact requirements for anything. So I've been diagnosed as that "we-don't-know-schizoaffective".

I have DID other than the memory loss, and lack of physical control. I have a severe dissociative and detachement to life, due to what I can best describe as maladaptive daydreaming/fantasy prone personality disorder, which blocks out external action to straight up show people that it exists. But it can EASILY be seen in both my writing, or interaction with people on the internet. I have many different concrete personalities, with all features a normal person has. Interests, history, likes, dislikes, morals, even typical thought processes and behaviors. The best that can be seen in the real physical world are all but actions. That being my thoughts, views, ideas, interests, etc. What doesn't get effected however is a universal consciousness, and understanding of the situation. A bipolar person who completely recognizes that they are in one of those bad upset and sensitive moments. I rant at people, and tell them to ignore me, and that it will pass. I tell them that it's pointless to argue with me, because it's the same as trying to convince a rock to move using words. I completely recognize all of it, but I am still frustrated that people don't listen, even as I'm telling them not to.

 

It's as if I always have physical control, but no emotional control at all. My personalities are not aggressive. I'm a peaceful person, and I don't yell or get angry at anyone in the real world. In the real world when Im angry, or extremely frustrated, at the world, even as I'm telling someone about my hated issues with my life, I smile, giggle and laugh, which makes it even more difficult. And to be honest, I feel like it's just a result of insanity, or hysteria. 

 

There is a novel of explanation that I can provide, but it always turns to be wasted words and time, so until further notice, that's all I'm going to bother with.






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