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Does Being Depressed Make You Feel Unattractive?

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#1 orangejello



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Posted 02 June 2010 - 04:35 PM

i feel like no matter what i do i look ugly. i got contacts, i got my eyebrows waxed, i tried doing my hair differently, i tried wearing nicer clothes and no matter what i still feel hideous....it sucks cause i hate feeling ugly...ugh

i feel attractive sometimes and its a nice feeling whether its true or not....

#2 KBpregnant



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Posted 02 June 2010 - 06:25 PM

Hi there. I feel unattractive most of the time, although I am not sure whether it stems from my depression or not. But I do feel ugly and I am very overweight, although I am at the end of a pregnancy so people say I have an excuse. I think low self-esteem is definitely a symptom of my depression, and it could be of yours too. I wish I had some good advice, but I don't. :shocked: Hope you feel better soon.

The difficulty lies not so much in developing new ideas as in
escaping from the old ones.
- John Maynard Kynes

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
-Walt Emerson

#3 arewethereyet



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Posted 02 June 2010 - 06:50 PM

I do too. I feel fat and gross a lot of the time, and even though my husband tells me Im gorgeous I just do NOT believe him - ever. How is it possible? I am actually overweight and feel so ugly and I dont know how anyone could look at me without cringing... You are not alone. xx

#4 Violet31



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Posted 02 June 2010 - 07:30 PM

Interesting question.

When you´re going through hell, keep going.
Winston Churchill

When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.

Viktor Frankl

Man is condemned to be free; because once thrown into the world, he is responsible for everything he does.
Jean-Paul Sartre

Use adversity      Declare Independence 

Violet :rose:

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#5 stryke7



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Posted 02 June 2010 - 07:38 PM

I feel unattractive pretty much all the time.
"The love that lasts the longest is the love that is never returned"

#6 whoiam


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Posted 02 June 2010 - 08:05 PM

For me this feeling of unattractiveness has been worse since I turned 52 and began that menopause thing! Boy do I understand now why it is called the "change of life"! LOL! My whole body has dried up, but at the same time my face is infused with acne! My hair which was once silky and swayed with movement now sits on my head like a pile of straw!

Okay, on the serious side I have felt unattractive for most of my life. Double chin from genetics, the not so cute type of freckles, pale eye color, large body type (big frame) and on, and on. I also heard a lot of "you would be so pretty if you would just...(fill in the blank)" while growing up as I was the tomboy type. I seem to have an image of myself however in my mind that doesn't match with what is in the mirror...meaning I think at times I look better than I do...and that is a real shocker when I catch a glimpse of myself. It makes me feel like I am living in a dream world and can't face reality. I guess being postive about yourself is good in some ways but it really does come down to how the world sees the you visually.

I am going on being single for 8yrs now, am 53 and know that since people are visual my hopes of attracting a mate on looks alone won't get better with age (see beginning paragraph)! My ex and subsequent boy(men)friends told me they thought I was pretty but I have to admit I wondered about alterior motives! I have never had men pushing other men away to get to me and I don't turn heads when I walk into a room...in fact at times I really do feel as though men don't notice me at all (Is this really a bad thing? LOL). But then I don't want someone to like me based on superficial things either...an odd mix of thoughts and reality!

Over all I just wish I had gone with the deluxe package when the production for my body began! Or else everyone was blind! LOL!

As always be safe and believe in yourself!

]If someone listens, or stretches out a hand, or whispers a word of encouragement, or attempts to understand a lonely person, extraordinary things begin to happen.

Loretta Girzartis

#7 Blue2



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Posted 02 June 2010 - 10:01 PM

i feel attractive sometimes and its a nice feeling whether its true or not....

I got heaps of self confidence from observing "attractive confident women" who were NOT ATTRACTIVE in the classic sense. Woman like this are all around us and once you start spotting them they are truly an inspiration..

They are generally cheerful, relaxed and enthusiastic and have what Violet31 calls Charisma I guess. This is probably just positive emotional energy that they exude.

The most classically beautiful people can feel ugly! It's a state of mind which actually makes you unattractive. Think of the word "attractive" it means to attract...and you cannot doubt that happy, friendly, kind people are the most attractive people.

Edited by Blue2, 02 June 2010 - 10:19 PM.

#8 locorabbit



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Posted 02 June 2010 - 11:05 PM

I go through the same thing. I will admit the reason why therapy did not work out for me was because I felt like I was told it was a self image issue when I can look in the mirror and see nothing but ugliness.

#9 Hoppipolla


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Posted 04 June 2010 - 04:39 AM

I've been told I was good looking by many people, and then some Biotch last year called me ugly which I used to dwell on. It's funny how you remember the bad more than the good. The more depressed I am the more ugly I feel... so I guess it goes hand in hand for me. I used to be overly confident, but the last year or 2 I've been "humbled". I've been told smiling makes people more attractive, which is true. Everyone likes being around happy people, and if you smile at someone they'll most likely smile back, it's contagious. I hate going out when I'm in a bad mood though... when I'm in a good mood it's the opposite. Whether it's related to anxiety, depression, lack of self confidence - I have no idea. I've ordered a few books on amazon that I'm going to read to help with inecurity, as well as one I was recommended last week "Feeling Good" by Dr. David Burnes which I'm looking forward to reading, quite possibly this afternoon since it looks like it's finally going to be a decent day out.

#10 locorabbit



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Posted 04 June 2010 - 06:43 AM

That Feeling Good book is pretty good. I need to take time to read it again.

#11 Stuarachel


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Posted 05 June 2010 - 12:57 PM

I've been called ugly all my life through school wether it was joking or not and i took it to heart, but yeah when since i became depressed i cringe when i look in the mirror. I don't know too many people who find themselves really attractive though.

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