Jump to content

Advertisement
  • No one should be alone in this. We can help.
If you - or someone you know - are having thoughts about suicide, call 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Calls are connected to a certified crisis center nearest the caller's location. Services are available 24 hours a day, seven days a week.                                                                            If you - or someone you know - are having thoughts about suicide, call 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Calls are connected to a certified crisis center nearest the caller's location. Services are available 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

Advertisement
Advertisement
Advertisement
Photo

Considering Checking Myself Into A Mental Hospital


  • Please log in to reply
14 replies to this topic

#1 joanie71

joanie71

    Newbie

  • Newbie
  • Pip
  • 33 posts
  • Location:Ohio

Posted 31 May 2010 - 08:13 PM

Hi Guys,

I am 38 years old and currently living with my mom and step-dad. I quit 2 good paying jobs in the last year because of my depression and SEVERE anxiety which is why I am living with my parents.

I am not getting better - the only thing that seems to help me is Ativan and it only calms me down and stops the incessant crying - it doesn't help with the depression. I have been bedridden for about 3 weeks now - can't shower or get dressed.

My mom is terribly worried about me. She doesn't know how to help me and I know it is ******* her. My stepdad has his own problems: he was in a terrible car accident about 15 years ago and is in severe pain everday. He has been taking increasingly stronger pain meds ever since and is now a drug addict. He takes too many of his pills and then runs out and proceeds to go into serious withdrawal symptoms as well as unbearable back and neck pain.

Also, my only sibling - my 29 year old brother - died a year and a half ago of a illegal drug overdose. It has rocked us to our cores. We are all zombies stumbling through life with no hope or direction.

On top of all this, we have serious money problems. My mom works at a hospital making modest wages and my stepdad works small remodeling jobs when his back allows (which isn't often). With me quitting my job, all the pressure of money lands squarely on my mom's shoulders. I have horrible guilt over this but still can't make myself get it together. I am grieving the loss of my brother so deeply and I have been depressed since I was a child anyway so its just all falling down around me right now.

I want to go to the hospital but I am so worried about upsetting my mom even more - I mean, how much more can she take???

Also, I am scared about what help I will actually receive if I go to the hospital? Will I get to talk to counselors? Will they help me get my meds on track because the celexa I am taking has done NO good at all.

I also have no insurance since quitting my job - will they even admit me to the hospital with no insurance?

I know this is long - sorry for rambling. Does anyone have any similar experiences of their own to share or advice? I don't want to hurt my mom anymore but I am coming apart at the seams.

Thanks,
Joanie

#2 Guest_iowa_*

Guest_iowa_*
  • Guests

Posted 31 May 2010 - 08:33 PM

Hi Joanie71, I have found that hospitals vary quite a bit it terms of what care is available. You can call the ward at your local hospital/s and ask your questions. If you find one that you believe can help you, then you can face talking with your mom about it. You know she is worried so start with acknowledging that. Say that she shouldn't have to be so worried so you've decided to do what you need to in order to get proper help and treatment. Then tell her about the hospital program you found and how you believe it will help you. I'll bet she'd be relieved that you'll be getting proper treatment!
iowa

#3 joanie71

joanie71

    Newbie

  • Newbie
  • Pip
  • 33 posts
  • Location:Ohio

Posted 31 May 2010 - 08:55 PM

Hi Joanie71, I have found that hospitals vary quite a bit it terms of what care is available. You can call the ward at your local hospital/s and ask your questions. If you find one that you believe can help you, then you can face talking with your mom about it. You know she is worried so start with acknowledging that. Say that she shouldn't have to be so worried so you've decided to do what you need to in order to get proper help and treatment. Then tell her about the hospital program you found and how you believe it will help you. I'll bet she'd be relieved that you'll be getting proper treatment!
iowa


Thanks Iowa,

I think you are right. I know all she wants for me is to get better and live a happy life. Maybe she will be relieved that I am getting treatment because I know she feels helpless when it comes to my illness. I agree that it would be a good idea to have all the facts of the treatment facility to provide her with when I talk to her about it.

Thank you so much for caring :shocked:

Does anyone have any experience with being hospitalized that they would want to share? I'm scared of the unknown and I think it is another thing that is holding me back from getting the help I need.

#4 theguy

theguy

    Platinum Member

  • Platinum Member
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 2,418 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Ontario, Canada

Posted 31 May 2010 - 09:31 PM

Hi Joanie71, I have found that hospitals vary quite a bit it terms of what care is available. You can call the ward at your local hospital/s and ask your questions. If you find one that you believe can help you, then you can face talking with your mom about it. You know she is worried so start with acknowledging that. Say that she shouldn't have to be so worried so you've decided to do what you need to in order to get proper help and treatment. Then tell her about the hospital program you found and how you believe it will help you. I'll bet she'd be relieved that you'll be getting proper treatment!
iowa


Thanks Iowa,

I think you are right. I know all she wants for me is to get better and live a happy life. Maybe she will be relieved that I am getting treatment because I know she feels helpless when it comes to my illness. I agree that it would be a good idea to have all the facts of the treatment facility to provide her with when I talk to her about it.

Thank you so much for caring :shocked:

Does anyone have any experience with being hospitalized that they would want to share? I'm scared of the unknown and I think it is another thing that is holding me back from getting the help I need.

I think by you getting help for yourself, that will take a lot of stress off your mother's shoulder's. I have been to emergency psych many times due to my anxiety. Most times I had someone bring me there because I was so afraid to go by myself. Can you find someone who will take you there? How about your mother or a friend? You can always call a taxi. In my experience I had to sit in a room with the door open until someone would come and talk to me. Since you are already on celexa they may refer you back to you family doctor though. You might want to call the family doctor first or perhaps you can ask the family doctor to refer you to a psychiatrict who can help regulate your meds better. Whatever the case, if you admit yourself they might only take you overnight if you are a harm to yourself or other people. If not, they will send you home probably with something to calm you down for time being. If your anxiety is really bad, just make sure they know that. If you are afraid to go home once your are there, let them know that. Don't hold anything back. You could be waiting a few hours before you see someone so dont be afraid to ask someone for something to calm you down while you wait. I hope that helps but the people in emergency psych come across people like you all the time and people with other disorders as well. It is taking the first step in getting there that is the most difficult but once you do it you will happy you did. Good luck and let us know what you end up doing and how it goes. Take care.

Edited by theguy, 31 May 2010 - 09:32 PM.

The Guy. - Love is patient, love is kind, love never fails.

#5 Sheepwoman

Sheepwoman

    Administrative Mod/Coordinator

  • Admin Team- Mod/Administrator
  • 27,880 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:Santa Rosa CA

Posted 01 June 2010 - 01:11 PM

I presume you live in the US. If so, have you applied for disability or Medicaid? Both would be beneficial for you since your mental health prevents you from working.

From my own experiences with psych hospital admissions, if you are endanger of harming yourself or others, you will be readily admitted voluntarily providing a bed is available. If you go to the ER with the same issues, you will probably be put on a 5150 (72-hour mandatory hold) in the psych unit of the hospital or at a local psych hospital. Not having insurance with these issues is nat an obstacle for admission and the hospital caseworker will help you file for Medicaid and/or disability. You would have a better chance of admission if you go to the "county" hospital for psych services.

Voluntary admissions for med adjustments/therapy/other treatments to a psych hospital are best when a pdoc or med doc contacts the hospital for admission of their patient. The length of stay may be limited to a week. Going on your own may not result in being admitted or you may be referred to an out patient treatment program.

Not all psych units have specific programs for inpatients. The psych hospital I was in had group therapy, occupational therapy, individual therapy, daily psychiatric care (meds), AA, NA meetings going on all day long. Some psych units provide the bare necessities as far as treatment and aim to get you discharged as soon as possible. Not every psych unit will separate patients depending on the severity of their mental illness into separate wards/units. It's possible to be mixed in with people who are going through withdrawals, psychotic, mentally challenged, etc. and individual treatment is very limited. As suggested, call the facility where you'd like to go to get an idea of the services provided.

Talk to your mom. She will probably be very happy and will want to help you get the treatment you need to get back on your feet. If there's a psych unit at the hospital where she works, she may be able to give you the phone number and a person to call.

Let us know how you're doing.
Sheepwoman
It is not the life I lived; but the life I leave behind. Posted Image
Sheepwoman

God will give you no more than you can handle. This is all a test to see if you are really ready for the good things that are going to come your way. All this pain is going to come back and make me stronger.-Clarence Clemmons 1942-2011

Everything I know, I know because I love. Leo Tolstoy War and Peace

#6 sadtimes

sadtimes

    Member

  • Member
  • PipPipPip
  • 159 posts

Posted 01 June 2010 - 01:55 PM

I don't want to tell you what to do but my one experience with a mental hospital was HORRENDOUS. They are basically pill factories that stuff pills down your throat without any regard for what you do or do not need. Even if you are a voluntary admittance they will turn you into an involuntary and either force you to take pills which will prompt an observation period of a couple of weeks of inpatient or you can refuse to take them and get written up. They wanted to pump me full of antipsychotics without even having me talk to a doctor at all.

#7 lilymc

lilymc

    Just Registered

  • Just Registered
  • 4 posts

Posted 02 June 2010 - 01:12 AM

Your parents would want you to be well.
I had to travel hours away to find a decent hospital. I checked myself in a couple of weeks ago and so glad I did. I was able to focus on my issues and get out of the environment I was in where I was suffering and hardly functioning.
It wasn't an easy decision but I am glad that I went. Do some research on the options in your area.

#8 joanie71

joanie71

    Newbie

  • Newbie
  • Pip
  • 33 posts
  • Location:Ohio

Posted 03 June 2010 - 07:51 AM

Thank you all so much for your replies...I haven't had internet access for days so I haven't been able to thank you all sooner. It means so much that people here care.

I am feeling worse than ever and have been hoping I will wake up one morning feeling better but that hasn't happened and I don't think it will unless I get help.

I really think I do need to be admitted SOMEWHERE because I have been having thoughts of suicide the past few days. The only thing stopping me from going through with it is the thought of my mom having to lose another child. I didn't think I would ever contemplate taking my life b/c I know from losing my brother how awful it is to lose someone you love. But I'm afraid that my mind is not right at the moment and I will soon not even care about the consequences.

I have even had horrible thoughts of my mom, stepdad and me ******* ourselves together because we are all suffering so much...it's awful to admit that thought to myself let alone others. I know it's crazy and I know I SOUND crazy right now but sometimes I can't make the horrible thoughts go away. I don't think about this all the time but sometimes it pops in my head and then I push the thought of it away.

I'm so scared right now...I am going to research hospitals today. I don't want to go somewhere that I will regret so I will have to do some research first as hard as it is for me right now.

I mentioned going to the hospital to my mom last night and she didn't know what to say. She just looks so sad and helpless and I know she can't deal with this right now so I am going to have to help myself and maybe when I am better I can help her too.

Thank you to everyone who replied...it really does matter that others care.

#9 tealtastic

tealtastic

    Senior Member

  • Senior Member
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 540 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:England

Posted 03 June 2010 - 08:28 AM

Hi Joanie,

I just wanted to share my experience with you. I've just been released from a psych ward. On doctors' recommendations, I went in as a voluntary patient expecting to be given the specialist support I needed. What I actually got was a ward with all sorts of severe mental health issues (many of them dangerous), no ward doctor and no therapy. It was basically just a secure holding facility to keep me away from the equipment I'd need to go through with my plans. I didn't get ANY treatment or therapy of any kind (I even had to wait a week for my meds as they didn't bother to order them), they just held me there until the worst of the storm had passed. The consultant only visited once a week and a junior doctor in emergencies, the rest of the time we were 'supervised' by two poorly trained nurses who never left their office (fearing attacks from other patients). With no occupational therapist to distract us with activities, I spent 17 days staring at walls, sinking further into despair and fearing for my safety. I was not allowed to leave the ward, even to go to the cafeteria; when I queried them detaining me indefinitely without a section, they said that 'voluntary' patients had no rights & mental health laws did not apply. When I tried to discharge myself, they said I was unstable and sectioned me so I couldn't leave; it was only when my family & I threatened legal action for unlawful detention that they backed down.

I want to be very clear here: I DO NOT want to frighten you and I DO NOT regret going into hospital. I was extremely unwell wouldn't be here now if I hadn't been admitted when I was. Being locked in saved my life, as I didn't have access to the things which could harm me.

That said, being detained there was one of the most distressing experiences of my life & I have been released feeling only marginally more stable than when I went in despite spending over 2 weeks with 'professionals'. My family and I deeply regret not asking more questions first & trusting blindly in the 'experts'. What I thought I was signing up for and what I actually got were very different things.

If I could do it again, I would ask them:

*What a typical day on the ward for a patient with severe depression looks like?
*What facilities are available (including outside space)?
*What scheduled talk-time/therapy is offered? What form does this take?
*What therapeutic activities (e.g. art or music therapy) are available and how often?
*What is the staffing like on the ward?
*Who will oversee your day-to-day care? What expertise do they have in dealing with your specific condition?
*What kinds of patients will be on the ward with you? What conditions do they have? (this is a really crucial one)
*What is their policy for 'voluntary' admissions? What rights will you have once you're there?
*How will they prepare you for a return home? What support will they provide once you're discharged?

I sincerely hope I haven't scared you, that was not my intention, I just wish someone had told me what to look for before I went in so that my family & I could've made a more informed decision & chosen a hospital which was more able to provide the care I needed.

I wish you the very best of luck in finding a hospital that is right for you.

Edited by tealtastic, 03 June 2010 - 08:36 AM.

Love After Love


The time will come
when, with elation
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror
and each will smile at the other's welcome,

and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give alcohol. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you

all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,

the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.


Derek Walcott
Posted ImagePosted Image

#10 joanie71

joanie71

    Newbie

  • Newbie
  • Pip
  • 33 posts
  • Location:Ohio

Posted 03 June 2010 - 08:54 AM

Oh tealtastic - that is so horrible! Please don't think you have scared me - I am already scared of all those things happening to me which is why I haven't admitted myself yet. I'm so sorry you were treated so badly but I am so happy that it DID stop you from hurting yourself. The fact that you are taking the time to help me says you are an amazing person and the world is much better for having you in it!

If I could have one wish it would be that there was better help available to people with depression. It's so unbelievable that in 2010 someone suffering from this horrible disease can't walk into a hospital ER and get proper help for their condition. If we had some sort of "physical" ailment (quotes because this IS a physical aimlemt in my eyes) and went to the ER we would be admitted and treated immediately - not made to suffer more. It's infuriating!

I am going to print off your list of questions and make sure they are addressed before doing anything. Thank you so much for taking the time to respond - I know you are going through such a terrible time yourself and it's so kind of you to try to help me.

#11 theguy

theguy

    Platinum Member

  • Platinum Member
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 2,418 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Ontario, Canada

Posted 03 June 2010 - 03:53 PM

Thank you all so much for your replies...I haven't had internet access for days so I haven't been able to thank you all sooner. It means so much that people here care.

I am feeling worse than ever and have been hoping I will wake up one morning feeling better but that hasn't happened and I don't think it will unless I get help.

I really think I do need to be admitted SOMEWHERE because I have been having thoughts of suicide the past few days. The only thing stopping me from going through with it is the thought of my mom having to lose another child. I didn't think I would ever contemplate taking my life b/c I know from losing my brother how awful it is to lose someone you love. But I'm afraid that my mind is not right at the moment and I will soon not even care about the consequences.

I have even had horrible thoughts of my mom, stepdad and me ******* ourselves together because we are all suffering so much...it's awful to admit that thought to myself let alone others. I know it's crazy and I know I SOUND crazy right now but sometimes I can't make the horrible thoughts go away. I don't think about this all the time but sometimes it pops in my head and then I push the thought of it away.

I'm so scared right now...I am going to research hospitals today. I don't want to go somewhere that I will regret so I will have to do some research first as hard as it is for me right now.

I mentioned going to the hospital to my mom last night and she didn't know what to say. She just looks so sad and helpless and I know she can't deal with this right now so I am going to have to help myself and maybe when I am better I can help her too.

Thank you to everyone who replied...it really does matter that others care.

I don't think by getting yourself help you mother would be losing another child. In actuality your mother would be gaining a more healthy child when you get the help you need. I hope you make a decision on the hospital to go to soon. The sooner you get help the sooner you will start to feel better and the sooner you can help your mother. There is always hope. Don't give up.
The Guy. - Love is patient, love is kind, love never fails.

#12 joanie71

joanie71

    Newbie

  • Newbie
  • Pip
  • 33 posts
  • Location:Ohio

Posted 04 June 2010 - 08:19 AM

theguy,

You are right - my mom would rather have me here and in the hospital than gone forever. I am thinking clearer today for some reason. I don't know why because our power was turned off yesterday because we couldn't pay the bill (which is partly my fault because my parents had to help me pay my car payment instead of the electric bill because I was not working).

It's kind of amazing what you can do without when you have to. I thought I would be a nervous wreck without the noise of the tv to keep me distracted but it seems like the peace and quiet has calmed me down...weird.

I checked around and found two places that offer free counseling for MI issues in my town - now I just have to get the nerve up to call and get an appointment. Asking for help is scary for me sometimes but I know I have to get well enough to get a job. I need to help my parents.

Thanks for telling me not to give up! I won't!

~ Joanie

#13 theguy

theguy

    Platinum Member

  • Platinum Member
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 2,418 posts
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Ontario, Canada

Posted 11 June 2010 - 06:26 PM

theguy,

You are right - my mom would rather have me here and in the hospital than gone forever. I am thinking clearer today for some reason. I don't know why because our power was turned off yesterday because we couldn't pay the bill (which is partly my fault because my parents had to help me pay my car payment instead of the electric bill because I was not working).

It's kind of amazing what you can do without when you have to. I thought I would be a nervous wreck without the noise of the tv to keep me distracted but it seems like the peace and quiet has calmed me down...weird.

I checked around and found two places that offer free counseling for MI issues in my town - now I just have to get the nerve up to call and get an appointment. Asking for help is scary for me sometimes but I know I have to get well enough to get a job. I need to help my parents.

Thanks for telling me not to give up! I won't!

~ Joanie

Hey Joanie, how are you doing now. I apologize it has been awhile since I responded here. Have you called and made an appointment yet? I know I had that fear before so all I said to myself was I am just going to do and I don't care how I feel at the moment. I closed my eyes real tight and opened them enough to dial the numbers, was very restless and scared but when i got a hold of someone it actually distracted me and I sort of felt better I called. I felt some accomplishment. Like Nike says .. Just do it! So what is your update? I hope you are doing well.
The Guy. - Love is patient, love is kind, love never fails.

#14 tealtastic

tealtastic

    Senior Member

  • Senior Member
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 540 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:England

Posted 12 June 2010 - 04:46 AM

Hi Joanie,

Sorry I dropped off the radar for a while too! How are you getting on now? I hope you've had some luck getting the help you need? Let us know how you're getting on. We're here for you :shocked:
Love After Love


The time will come
when, with elation
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror
and each will smile at the other's welcome,

and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give alcohol. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you

all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,

the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.


Derek Walcott
Posted ImagePosted Image

#15 sadtimes

sadtimes

    Member

  • Member
  • PipPipPip
  • 159 posts

Posted 12 June 2010 - 07:49 PM

Hi Joanie,

Sorry I dropped off the radar for a while too! How are you getting on now? I hope you've had some luck getting the help you need? Let us know how you're getting on. We're here for you :shocked:


Your experience sounds almost exactly like mine.




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users