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How Do You Tell A Therapist You Don't Want To See Them Anymore


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5 replies to this topic

#1 Tryingtobehopeful

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Posted 09 April 2010 - 07:02 AM

Hi,

I have been seeing my psychiatrist for far too long. I withhold information from her just because she isnt very comforting to me when I tell her of all of the pains in my life. I should have told her long ago that it just wasnt working, but am scared to do it. I have another therapist that I have seen in the past and really like, I was wondering if she could talk to my psychiatrist and tell her...

Have you ever had to tell a therapist you don't want to see them anymore? How did you do it? What was their reaction?

Thanks.

#2 Trace

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Posted 09 April 2010 - 07:11 AM

Hi Tryingtobehopeful

I had one therapist that I did not like and I just said to him that I did not need him anymore.
They are used having people ending therapy.
I know you are nervous about it, but there is not much your therapist can do and she should not stop you.
She may ask you why you want to discontinue and you could tell her something along the lines of that you think you have outgrown her and you need to move on.

Trace
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#3 Sheepwoman

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Posted 09 April 2010 - 09:59 AM

If you're not receiving positive guidance and feedback as you work through your issues, it's time to take a look at yourself and the working relationship with your therapist. It may be time for you to take a break to see if you can handle things on your own. You can tell your therapist just that-that you want to go it alone for awhile. She will understand as that is what they truly want to hear from a client-that they feel well. If, at a later time, you feel the need for therapy again, you choose another therapist or go back to her.

I have been told by my therapist that it's time to try life on my own without her. She would be there if I needed to come back. Another time, I told the therapist, he wasn't listening to me (most the time he fell asleep during sessions) and sought a new therapist within the group practice.

If you can't tell your therapist face-to-face, write her a letter that you won't be returning. Thank her for her help (leaves the door open). Don't involve another therapist as it will make him/her uncomfortable and sort of interferes with their professional ethics/courtesy.
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#4 AngelOfTheMoor

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Posted 09 April 2010 - 10:42 AM

I had extreme problems with doing this, too. In fact, I saw my therapist for months longer than I wanted to just because I was afraid to tell him that I didn't want to see him anymore. I know that therapists deal with that all the time, but I still couldn't bring myself to tell him. It make me feel panicky. I still need(ed) therapy; I just didn't want him to be my therapist. Here's what I did (an approach I don't recommend):

I canceled the last appointment that I'd had scheduled with him because I wasn't feeling well. Then, I just never called back to schedule an appointment. I feel really guilty about it because I'm afraid that I just left him hanging. But I couldn't bring myself to actually tell him that I didn't want to see him. If he ever calls me, I'm just going to pretend that I'd forgotten about making appointments with him and then explain that I don't want to do so. I'm seeing another therapist now, and I ensured that I chose someone who doesn't work in the same building as him because I don't want him to know about it. My pdoc does work in the same building as him, though, so I'm constantly afraid that I might see him when I go to the pdoc.

So, I can relate. And this story goes to show that, no matter what you do, it can't be worse or more awkward than what I did. :shocked: Good luck.

#5 warpysaint

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Posted 09 April 2010 - 11:35 AM

I had extreme problems with doing this, too. In fact, I saw my therapist for months longer than I wanted to just because I was afraid to tell him that I didn't want to see him anymore. I know that therapists deal with that all the time, but I still couldn't bring myself to tell him. It make me feel panicky. I still need(ed) therapy; I just didn't want him to be my therapist. Here's what I did (an approach I don't recommend):

I canceled the last appointment that I'd had scheduled with him because I wasn't feeling well. Then, I just never called back to schedule an appointment. I feel really guilty about it because I'm afraid that I just left him hanging. But I couldn't bring myself to actually tell him that I didn't want to see him. If he ever calls me, I'm just going to pretend that I'd forgotten about making appointments with him and then explain that I don't want to do so. I'm seeing another therapist now, and I ensured that I chose someone who doesn't work in the same building as him because I don't want him to know about it. My pdoc does work in the same building as him, though, so I'm constantly afraid that I might see him when I go to the pdoc.

So, I can relate. And this story goes to show that, no matter what you do, it can't be worse or more awkward than what I did. :shocked: Good luck.


I told one that money and logistical problems were necessitating an end.... which was MOSTLY true.... but it still was hard to do... come to think of it, I believe I left that as a message on her answering machine when I knew she was with a client.

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#6 Guest_bravetwilight_*

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Posted 10 April 2010 - 03:35 PM

Just don't make any more appointments. It's easy actually. It's part of their job to accept that patients/clients won't show up anymore. But it is a good thing to call them and tell them why you changed therapists because they have to write something in their patient's notes and you don't want them making something up that isn't true. I've had many shrinks, counselors, social workers, you name it and I found out the hard way that they write stuff in the patient's notes that will cover their legal *** if ever anything happens. And another good idea is to request copies of all of your doctor's/therapist's notes. This way you have control over the situation, legally and mentally too.

Remember that you are paying them for a service. Bottom line. I call therapists, mental prostitutes! HA. I buy their time to listen to me and hopefully they will be wise and trained enough to give my mind something good to chew on, something that will guide me and direct me to accepting what I go through in depression...all that jazz. Oh another thing I learned was that therapists are not there to make us feel good. If they do then that's a bonus but in their minds they are there to a service that is designed to help us process our "issues" and that is hard work. With each new therapist I went to it was only in the first two session where s/he made me feel good. It is a method of gaining our trust so we will continue on with them therefore making more money.


I know I sound jaded about therapists but in a fundamental vein of thinking, mentally ill people should not have to travel to a therapists office or clinic and their services should be free and appointments/sessions should not be clocked ! The way our healing systems are set up work against nature, not with it.

hope this helps in some odd way.....HA.


bravetwilight




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