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[Tryingtobehopeful]

Hi,

I have been seeing my psychiatrist for far too long. I withhold information from her just because she isnt very comforting to me when I tell her of all of the pains in my life. I should have told her long ago that it just wasnt working, but am scared to do it. I have another therapist that I have seen in the past and really like, I was wondering if she could talk to my psychiatrist and tell her...

Have you ever had to tell a therapist you don't want to see them anymore? How did you do it? What was their reaction?

Thanks.

[Trace]

Hi Tryingtobehopeful

I had one therapist that I did not like and I just said to him that I did not need him anymore.
They are used having people ending therapy.
I know you are nervous about it, but there is not much your therapist can do and she should not stop you.
She may ask you why you want to discontinue and you could tell her something along the lines of that you think you have outgrown her and you need to move on.

Trace

[Sheepwoman]

If you're not receiving positive guidance and feedback as you work through your issues, it's time to take a look at yourself and the working relationship with your therapist. It may be time for you to take a break to see if you can handle things on your own. You can tell your therapist just that-that you want to go it alone for awhile. She will understand as that is what they truly want to hear from a client-that they feel well. If, at a later time, you feel the need for therapy again, you choose another therapist or go back to her.

I have been told by my therapist that it's time to try life on my own without her. She would be there if I needed to come back. Another time, I told the therapist, he wasn't listening to me (most the time he fell asleep during sessions) and sought a new therapist within the group practice.

If you can't tell your therapist face-to-face, write her a letter that you won't be returning. Thank her for her help (leaves the door open). Don't involve another therapist as it will make him/her uncomfortable and sort of interferes with their professional ethics/courtesy.
Sheepwoman

[AngelOfTheMoor]

I had extreme problems with doing this, too. In fact, I saw my therapist for months longer than I wanted to just because I was afraid to tell him that I didn't want to see him anymore. I know that therapists deal with that all the time, but I still couldn't bring myself to tell him. It make me feel panicky. I still need(ed) therapy; I just didn't want him to be my therapist. Here's what I did (an approach I don't recommend):

I canceled the last appointment that I'd had scheduled with him because I wasn't feeling well. Then, I just never called back to schedule an appointment. I feel really guilty about it because I'm afraid that I just left him hanging. But I couldn't bring myself to actually tell him that I didn't want to see him. If he ever calls me, I'm just going to pretend that I'd forgotten about making appointments with him and then explain that I don't want to do so. I'm seeing another therapist now, and I ensured that I chose someone who doesn't work in the same building as him because I don't want him to know about it. My pdoc does work in the same building as him, though, so I'm constantly afraid that I might see him when I go to the pdoc.

So, I can relate. And this story goes to show that, no matter what you do, it can't be worse or more awkward than what I did. Good luck.

[warpysaint]

I had extreme problems with doing this, too. In fact, I saw my therapist for months longer than I wanted to just because I was afraid to tell him that I didn't want to see him anymore. I know that therapists deal with that all the time, but I still couldn't bring myself to tell him. It make me feel panicky. I still need(ed) therapy; I just didn't want him to be my therapist. Here's what I did (an approach I don't recommend):

I canceled the last appointment that I'd had scheduled with him because I wasn't feeling well. Then, I just never called back to schedule an appointment. I feel really guilty about it because I'm afraid that I just left him hanging. But I couldn't bring myself to actually tell him that I didn't want to see him. If he ever calls me, I'm just going to pretend that I'd forgotten about making appointments with him and then explain that I don't want to do so. I'm seeing another therapist now, and I ensured that I chose someone who doesn't work in the same building as him because I don't want him to know about it. My pdoc does work in the same building as him, though, so I'm constantly afraid that I might see him when I go to the pdoc.

So, I can relate. And this story goes to show that, no matter what you do, it can't be worse or more awkward than what I did. Good luck.

I told one that money and logistical problems were necessitating an end.... which was MOSTLY true.... but it still was hard to do... come to think of it, I believe I left that as a message on her answering machine when I knew she was with a client.

-WS