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PeacePilgrim

How To Get Motivated To Take A Shower.

590 posts in this topic

Posted

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I am really getting annoyed at how much mental (and physical) energy it seems to take me these days to get myself into the shower (I hate baths by the way, always felt like I was sitting in a warm bowl of soup, showers USED to energize me...those wonderful ions spraying around).

I am lucky these days if I get into the shower once a week. I was struggling with it last night at apartment, and finally gave up when I realized I wouldn't have the energy to both take the shower AND drive myself back here to new house where I'm staying. So tonight I'm struggling again. The shower stall sits there, feet away, and everything is ready. "All" I have to do is get in, turn on the water and scrub. But lately, even when I get into the shower, 2 minutes later I want to quit and get out. Part of the problem is feeling isolated when I get in--and trapped. Partly it's the energy it does take; I have had some physical issues lately, so it does seem to wear me out a little. I'm not sure what the rest is, but it seems like a big commitment, and one I'm not willing to make, it seems. By the way, it usually takes me 15 to 20 minutes to shower--I've never understood people who can do it in 5 minutes (that's always been true; I really identified with Kramer on the one Seinfeld episode that dealt with this subject). I don't dawdle, it's just to soap and rinse takes me that amount of time. I have thought of turning up the radio loud so I have the company of music, but the largest part of me just doesn't want to do this. This used to be a "feel good" experience, what the heck has happened?

Any suggestions for making it easier?

Thanks, Peace

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Posted

Hi Peace

Sometimes when you are in a bad place, even the things that you used to enjoy end up being really hard to do.

Could you try and think of something else when you try and get into the shower.

Here is an example, perhaps work yourself into a certain mindset.

Think of it as a journey and learning something new (I know this sounds strange).

Instead of feeling like you are trapped in the shower, try and picture yourself as being somewhere else, like perhaps a waterfall, where the water is washing away all the bad feelings. Close your eyes and try and picture what would be around the waterfall.

Also to get back into enjoying it again, don't put too much emphasis on washing yourself, just get in the shower and let the water wash over you.

In time you may start to enjoy it again and then you can slowly start washing.

Trace

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Posted

Thanks, Trace, for your response. The part I liked best was "...to get back into enjoying it again, don't put too much emphasis on washing yourself, just get in the shower and let the water wash over you."

After writing my posting, I did get one "light bulb" idea. I decided NOT to turn the noisy exhaust fan on, and instead opened both windows wide, even with the forty degree temperature. The noise gets on my nerves, and also signals my isolation even more (sound barrier keeping me out of touch with the world). Once the shower was over, I turned the fan on and closed the door on the sound. Was an improvement. Am hoping I can do this even when temps hit below freezing, because I will be pouring heat into the room from shower stall and it will only be for limited time. That exhaust fan is an extreme negative for me.

Dolphin2013 and ZenDarling like this

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Posted

Hiya Peace,

I've been in a bad place with the showering thing as well lately. One thing that I've tried in the past, though, was bringing a cooking timer into the bathroom with me. Set it for 20 mins (I take "long" showers as well), to make me realize that this is only 20 mins of hardship, discomfort, etc. Relatively short compared to the other 23+ hours of the day, plus it helped to count down the moments until I would be out of the shower.

I wonder whether that might help?

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Posted

Hi Peace,

I sort of have something similar going on.

When I get in the shower and start all the little 'washing up' rituals I just get so tired....so ****** f'ing tired of this whole ordeal of being human and having to wash our bodies, scrub our teeth, wash the hair....etc..... it just sucks. I don't want to have to do this!

But I know that when I'm done I'll feel better so I just push myself through it. Sometimes though I do just what was said above. If it's all feeling a bit too much I just stand there and let the hot water wash over me, and I get out. I usually do manage to brush my teeth though, I'm a freak about having clean teeth.

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Posted

I hear ya about the shower thing. Today I planned my shower around when I knew I'd have time and energy. That worked well. I have felt that "trapped" feeling lately, too, though. To help me w/ that I just need to keep breathing.

I feel so much better after I have showered. When I'm not regularly doing it, I figure I'm saving money on my water bill...

These days I'm going for every other day. I hope it gets better for you.

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Posted

Hello Peace.

I've got the shower problem, too. For the longest time, I thought it was just me. I carefully guarded my dirty (no pun intended :wwww:) little secret, ashamed that such a simple - and necessary - thing was often times beyond my capabilities. I'd become depressed, forgo showering, become anxious from feeling dirty and scummy, literally hide in my house because the anxiety got so bad, only to become even more depressed because I couldn't force myself to go out & live life. The more depressed I became, the more that shower stall looked like Everest. It's a vicious cycle.

I haven't found a "cure" that works 100% of the time, but it's gotten better. My husband gently persuades me to get in the shower by suggesting that the hot water, fruity scented shower gel & shampoo, and soft music (we keep a CD player in the bathroom) will help me feel better. He keeps "suggesting" until I finally shower. He's never pushy or mean-spirited about it; just kind and supportive, nudging me slowly but surely. I have to admit, he's right about a shower helping me to feel better. Hot water and aromatherapy help ease my anxieties. Just being clean lifts my depression a little.

Good luck to all of us with this problem! :shocked:

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Posted

Hi Peace,

I have found at times when I put some music on that I enjoy I turn it up fairly loud and listen to it when I get in the shower to motivate my self, of course there are times that I also find that some soothing music down low helps with a calming effect.

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Posted

Showers used to energize me also. Now they feel good only right after going to the gym. Otherwise I have the impression they make me more tense, but I take them anyways because it helps me get in the beat of the day.

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Posted

Dear WasTheMan, I admire you for doing your teeth. I struggle with that also. My goal is to brush teeth once per day, and sometimes I sadly miss. I did take a friend's advice, and if toothpaste seems too much, I just brush with water. The main goal is to get them scrubbed--either with (1)electric toothbrush and paste, (2)manual toothbrush and paste, (3)manual toothbrush and water. I am embarrassed to go to the dentist, because of course they always ask how often you brush--and to some extent the evidence is there in my teeth. I am not sure he would understand if I said I don't brush due to depression. And forget flossing, unless something is actively stuck. I get very upset when I floss, feel like I'm not doing it right, become very aware of any soreness in gums and get even more depressed!

Thank goodness, no one asks me: how often do you shower! I figure once a week for showering is "good enough" for now; after all my grandparents would have had just the traditional Saturday night bath after working the farm all week.

Beanchop, when you said "shower stall looked like Everest", I thought "bingo". People here DO understand.

I am still toying with the idea of somehow piping music into the bathroom; if I keep the fan off while showering, maybe I can just leave the door open a crack and hear the music from the tv in the bedroom.

I am so delighted that others are sharing their thoughts on this, thank you, Peace

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I agree with Secret Mist. I couldn't be bothered sometimes with the whole shower/bath thing so i started to put some soothing music on - I have a selection of what i call bath music. I put a cd on real loud so i can hear it in the bathroom, maybe some candles as well.

Now i look forward to the end of the day so i can listen to my music, have a shower (i think it washes all my day troubles away). I do alot of my thinking in the shower or bath and i have this as me time. :shocked:

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If you have a portable or even battery operated radio that would be good to just sit in the bathroom, I use my grandchildrens small boom box in the bathroom and plug it in, it can be the radio, the tape player or cd part to where if i prefer to listen to something particular then I have tapes and cd's I can pop into it to listen to my favorite music.

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Posted

I have a hard time getting into the shower. I don't like the sensation of the water on my skin and the steam makes me feel like I can't breathe. I feel really good after I'm out and dried off and in a different room as long as my wet hair isn't touching my skin. I like feeling clean and I feel this overwhelming sense of shame when I haven't showered in more than 3 days that I wont go out and avoid sex with my boyfriend. I'm not really sure how to get thru showers with the tactile issues.

I have the same issue with baths. I like baths for about the first three minutes and then the steam bothers me and it's uncomfortable to wash my hair, and I'm tall, so it's difficult to get everything under the water and the parts that are above get cold. It just makes me more anxious.

sherie likes this

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Posted

Hi all, First post. You are not alone, I couldn't be bothered and have very little self pride to keep myself showered daily. In saying that, I am rarely motivated to do anything that would make me sweat or dirty anyway. Mark.

dpepper73, sherie and Antivenin like this

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Posted

yay im not the only one!

something i find helps when trying to get into the shower is to see it as rain. (bare with me) im a child when it comes to this and like to wear an ichigo mask while styleing my hair with shampoo doing poses in the mirror. its very fun to pretend that its raining and your a warrior fighting off monsters and what not. am i the only person that dose this? if so then im just kidding and i dont do anything previusly stated lol.

also the music idea works awsomly too :D.

also when it comes to teeth. most the time i just use mothwash and forget to brush. its not that i dont like to brush its just i forget too. but to save time and to help remember to clean them in college i used to brush my teeth in the shower still do. it realy is a time saver plus it helps keep it all in a routine daily thing if you know what i meen? helps you remeber. also do the same when shaveing. though danceing about and singing isnt a good idea.

singing is most probly the most common one too. putting on a song to sing to is a massive help. good songs to sing to. drops of jupiter by train, line & sinker by billy talent, young folks by peter bjorn and jhon and an all round fun song to sing. pirates who dont do anything by relient k. anything you can sing along to helps massivly so turn it up to eleven and have fun.

:wwww::shocked:

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Posted

I am really getting annoyed at how much mental (and physical) energy it seems to take me these days to get myself into the shower (I hate baths by the way, always felt like I was sitting in a warm bowl of soup, showers USED to energize me...those wonderful ions spraying around).

I am lucky these days if I get into the shower once a week.

Like so many others I can relate. I know only didn't want to shower I didn't want to do anything else either. For too many weeks I found it almost impossible to do anything. I stayed in bed and hated myself for it. No matter how hard I tried I could not motivate myself be be at all productive. I talked to my therapists (yes I got up to go there, when I didn't cancel) about it for weeks then he suggested an adjunct to my Cymbalta. Abilify. I took it. Two days later I got up, I felt much better and I did some things. Now I feel good about doing lots of things. Of course now I can't remember how to relax so perhaps I have more to learn. I am not backing up however.

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Posted

oh dear add me to the list .thank heavens im not the only one who really cant be botheed taking a shower and rather sit thinking, i really need one but physically have no energy. waiting for a bath to run ??? id fall asleep or the novelty would just wear off ,hate baths anyway never feel clean afterwards .. i used to shower every day couldnt function without one now i couldnt function if i had one it would just tire me out and want to sleep.i hate myself for being this way i feel like a right lazy moo if there is something on the floor i think sod it ill pick it up nxt week lol this is truely how i feel though...wouldnt it be good if we could just go and buy some energy lol on the plus side at least we saving on water :shocked:

diannec likes this

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Posted

Sometimes while being depressed it's amazing the effects it has on us even in the smallest task as showering but I think so many people have been there and I won't deny it, I have been there too.

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Posted

I appreciate all your responses and sharing.

I am "up against it" again today re taking a shower, and by looking here, I can see it's been a week and a day since my last one. I'm feeling a little more hopeful tonight re accomplishing it, but I will let you know.

Thank you again, Peace

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Posted

keep those hopes up Peace and shower away.

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It's taken my family the longest time to stop bothering me about daily showers.

A) I'm in bed all day and

B) I'll do it later.

I don't like the feeling of showers, I never feel clean anyway because I have oily skin. I hate seeing myself naked. I hate how because it's so hot that by the time you're done drying, you're sweating again.

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I hate how because it's so hot that by the time you're done drying, you're sweating again.

Welcome, Chasing Sanity!

I just dropped by to report on finally getting that shower, a week and 2 days since last one. I felt so confident last night, and then managed to do everything else BUT shower, until I was too tired to do so.

Today I told myself I would do it in daylight, so the natural light would improve my spirits. I almost missed that one too: I seem to be an expert at shower avoidance. I finally squeaked it in at dusk, so SOME natural light. I tried to remember what people here said about just letting the water wash over you. I was able to really appreciate that I didn't have to worry about running out of hot water, unlike the apartment, so I could take my time.

Chasing Sanity, ironically even before reading your message, I had done 2 things to avoid that overheated feeling at the end:

(1) Both windows were fully open to our New England cold, and

(2) I ended the shower by changing from hot to cool water for a minute or so.

~Peace

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Posted

:shocked::wwww::sneaky2: that's great Peace, I'm sure you felt so relieved and refreshed, yes taking a shower in the daytime would also be great with the daylight. I hope your proud of yourself, you deserve a big :huh:

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Posted

Hi Peace

I think that is fantastic!

I hope that it becomes easier to shower after this step.

Trace

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Posted

I hate how because it's so hot that by the time you're done drying, you're sweating again.

Welcome, Chasing Sanity!

I just dropped by to report on finally getting that shower, a week and 2 days since last one. I felt so confident last night, and then managed to do everything else BUT shower, until I was too tired to do so.

Today I told myself I would do it in daylight, so the natural light would improve my spirits. I almost missed that one too: I seem to be an expert at shower avoidance. I finally squeaked it in at dusk, so SOME natural light. I tried to remember what people here said about just letting the water wash over you. I was able to really appreciate that I didn't have to worry about running out of hot water, unlike the apartment, so I could take my time.

Chasing Sanity, ironically even before reading your message, I had done 2 things to avoid that overheated feeling at the end:

(1) Both windows were fully open to our New England cold, and

(2) I ended the shower by changing from hot to cool water for a minute or so.

~Peace

Congrats on your shower! I live in a very hot place, for 6 months of the year I don't even have cold water unless it's from the fridge! So even a cold shower is out :shocked:

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