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Regret And Depression


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#1 plh985

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Posted 13 November 2009 - 01:51 AM

Hello everyone,

I am a 24 yr old woman and I have been struggling with depression and regret for the last two years. I have made some poor choices regarding my finances and education in the past and it has come back to bite me in the butt. I am trying to make some progress to change my situation, but I constantly dwell in the past thinking of what I should have not done. I have isolated myself from all of my former friends out of shame and embarrassment; the last old friend I spoke to was in Jan of this year. I have a hard time making new friends with others, because of my unwillingness to open up about my life and situation. I find everything about my present life shameful and embarrassing. How can I deal with and overcome these emotions? They cause me great anxiety, unhappiness, and seem to make the simplest everyday tasks difficult to get through.

#2 Trace

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Posted 13 November 2009 - 03:38 AM

Hi and Welcome Plh985

We all make mistakes, we are only human and that is how we learn.
I realize that you feel shameful and embarrassed, but there is no need to be. If you know that you made mistakes, take them, learn from them and go in another direction.
Guilt and shame can bring on so many unwanted emotions and feelings of worthlessness.
Reaching acceptance is the only way to move forward. Therapy may help you to do this.

Trace
Listen in deep silence. Be very still and open your mind.... Sink deep into the peace that waits for you beyond the frantic, riotous thoughts and sights and sounds of this insane world. - A course of miracles.

True beauty must come, must be grown, from within.... - Ralph W Trine.



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#3 SecretMist

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Posted 13 November 2009 - 02:10 PM

Hi phl985 and Welcome to DF,

I'm glad that you were able to come here a post what you have been going through. In admitting to yourself and realizing the wrong that may have done is a really big step, accepting the fact of the wrong doing and try to put it as a learning experience would be a good way of looking at everybody makes mistakes in life and some regret those mistakes terribly but by coming to terms with it and working on it from there you can move forward. I do realize it is easier said then done. Isolating yourself from former friends out of shame and embarrassment I can understand the feelings you have with shame and embarrassment but if you have friends that truly care about you then they can look past the wrongs and still care and love you as a friend but I think that you need to give them the chance to make their own choice. I have been through the same situation with a friend that has wronged and shut me out but I look past the wrongs and want that friendship but it can't happen unless they themselves are willing to let us in and share with them the wrongs, shame and embarrassment that you are dealing with. I do know that it is hard and I do understand. Maybe working with a therapist would be of great help. If you would like to stay in contact with certain friends that mean a lot to you then try to let them in as it may be good for the both of you. I hope this helps a little. Do keep posting and let us know how you are doing.

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If we can't stand alone to help ourselves,
with support we shall stand together
to make the changes and a difference within our lives
and the lives of all for the better.
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