[equinox_]

I'm 17 male (senior in hs) and I've been feeling depressed since around 13-14 but have never gone to anyone about it. I don't talk to anyone at school, no siblings/close family, and have a bad relationship with my parents (divorced, so mom + step dad). I felt like I was improving mentally over the summer, but since school/college app stuff started, I've been getting stressed out and have been losing a lot of hope about getting better.The only thing I really like is going to the gym, but for the past 2 months, I've been losing motivation for that and have been losing weight.

I feel burn out when dealing with people, and really angry whenever I'm even in the same room as my parents. I'm not really concerned/sad about the feeling depressed stuff, but I'm more confused about where I'm supposed to go from here. I'm thinking about telling my doctor next time I see him, but I'll still be 17 and I don't want him telling my parents (would rather just wait until I turn 18).

I don't really have anyone else to go to and would rather not end up as a 40 y/o regretting not speaking up when I was young, so there're my issues, any direct help/advice or references would be great. (I can give more info if you need it, be specific though). thanks

[Trace]

Hi and Welcome to DF Equinox

You have a lot of pressure with school and a bad relationship with your parents.
I am glad that you want to do something about the way you are feeling now.
Your school may have a counselor that you could talk to and what is said will be confidential.
It may help you in the right direction.

Trace

[SecretMist]

Hi Equinox and Welcome to DF,

You have made a big step by coming here to DF and expressing your feelings on this. It's understanding that you are under a lot of stress from school and also understanding not wanting your parents to know. You don't have to wait until your 18, as Trace mentioned maybe talking with a school counselor would be of help in going in the right direction or at least you would be able to talk things through with them. The sooner you do this the better so that your stress levels don't get any worse before your college and then you break down. Depression can be controlled. If you have to let your parents know in order to get the help you need then it is your right to get that help. Even though you may not have a good relationship with them it is still their responsibility in your well being. I do understand though if you choose not to talk with them about it though as lonely you know how they may react to it.

[equinox_]

thanks for the replies, but I was just wondering if there were any other options other than parents/counselor. or if I did go to them, what'd they would do that's different from the typical anti-depression stuff you'd get online. I really can't deal with people, and I can't see things getting better if dealing with a bunch of overreacting people was piled on school/college stuff. are there any other options or is it just talking to people about it? (cause I really don't want to do that)

[Trace]

Hi Equinox

The only way to get help is to reach out to a professional and talk about it.
It can be very hard to say what is going on inside of you, but it is the only way that you can be helped, as if no one knows how you feel, then they can not treat you accurately.

You could write letters if you find it hard to talk.

Trace

[Trixx]

I'm sorry it's difficult for you to find someone to talk to about this, but you got us. :) I think I felt the same way you did when you said that you were improving over the summer but then school started.. The same thing happened to me too; well my summer wasn't like amazing and I had some bad days but it was better than how I feel now. The combination of school stress and the days getting shorter can take a toll on anyone. ):

As for talking to your doctor, I think you should do it. Your doctor can mention to your parents the issue, but he doesn't have to explain to them how you're feeling and all the personal things. Doctors are cooperative, and he's not going to purposely tell your parents what you wish to keep to yourself. I hope you consider it and I hope you start feeling better.

[SecretMist]

Hi equinox,

I do agree that the only was would to be properly diagnosed by a professional is the best way to go and then they will know what kind of med you may or may not need. I think the sooner you do this the better it will be. As Trace mentioned you may want to write a letter or even print out your posting here as to how you are feeling.

[equinox_]

Thanks for the help, I wouldn't mind going to my doctor (and probably will) for meds/help.

But it's the fact that I can't deal with people that bothers me. I happy being alone, but as soon as I have to be around other people, I get irritated and can't really function at all. It's not really a "woe is me" depression thing (I get it a few times a month maybe), but more like just anger/frustration from being around people (even parents). And I want to fix it just because college is coming up because I doubt I'd get anywhere in life from feeling like this. Any advice until/when I see my dr? (or just a name for whatever ^ is called.

This post has been edited by equinox_: 14 November 2009 - 08:23 AM

[SecretMist]

Hi equinox_

I'm not a professional but it seems like your kind of isolating yourself because when your around people you feel the anger and irritation. Maybe getting out for walks, runs or just driving around to clear your thoughts and then maybe being around others that are close to you won't be as hard. If you feel these feelings coming on then try to take a deep breath and ask yourself what is it at that time that is making you so angry and irritated. If these feelings come on then maybe that is when you may want to do some things to distract yourself with other things.

[equinox_]

SecretMist, on Nov 16 2009, 12:23 PM, said:

Hi equinox_

I'm not a professional but it seems like your kind of isolating yourself because when your around people you feel the anger and irritation. Maybe getting out for walks, runs or just driving around to clear your thoughts and then maybe being around others that are close to you won't be as hard. If you feel these feelings coming on then try to take a deep breath and ask yourself what is it at that time that is making you so angry and irritated. If these feelings come on then maybe that is when you may want to do some things to distract yourself with other things.

that sounds about right, and the fitness thing would kinda be an escape, but lately it hasn't been giving me that feeling.

it's just that no matter what i do, i still can't really be around anyone. like I haven't been happy around my parents/anyone in 4-5 years, and I have no idea why feelings like that comes up. they aren't really bad/abusive, I just get angry around them and can't think right, and then it snowballs when I feel trapped/lonely between school and home, which leads to the depression stuff.

I don't really know if just distracting myself is what i want to do because I can just see stuff like this getting worse in a few years unless it actually stops.

I will go to my doc about it when I see him, do you know what he will do or how he'll respond?

[Trace]

Hi Equinox

It is a great idea to bring this up with your doc. We have no real way of telling how he will respond, but he should listen and will be able to do something for you or refer you to someone who can help you with this.

Trace