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What About Darkness Makes Me Feel So Comfortable?


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8 replies to this topic

#1 Guest_Gareth_*

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Posted 10 May 2009 - 10:56 AM

Hello Everyone,

This is my first post in the Bipolar area. (Actually, I refer to it as Manic-Depressive Illness. It's the former term but I think it's more descriptive.) I was over in the Depression area since joining. I didn't know they had a forum for us folks.

Well, to my question. I love night. I feel so much more comfortable. It's dark. I have candles burning and I feel at peace. That is probably why I love winter: the days are shorter.

They say (I always wondered who "they" are but let that pass) that the darkness contributes to depression. Well, "they" I got news for you, it makes me feel great.

Do any of you folks share this view or am I the only odd-ball around here? :hearts:

Cymru am byth!

Gareth

Edited by Gareth, 10 May 2009 - 10:58 AM.


#2 lonleysindy

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Posted 10 May 2009 - 11:08 AM

I don't suffer from BP just depression, but I to love the dark. I think it is because it is quiet and more peacefull. Right now I hear the church bells going (the only pretty noise right now), my neighbour is banging around outside, the people in the house are going about their daily routines, I just heard a small plane, I can hear people talking, cars going by on the street, the phone never stops ringing...ect

It is just so busy during the day and it is like an overload on my senses. The night is much more quiet. On nice nights you can sit outside and stare up at the stars and loose yourself in their beauty. The dark seems to stop all the badness of the world, and offers a silenance to let your mind calm it's self.

I think my favourite time is just when the sun is going down and you can hear the birds singing themselves to sleep...it signifies that the calm is on the way for me.

So if this means we are strange so be it.
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Accept Yourself, Good and Bad
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#3 darcness

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Posted 10 May 2009 - 11:55 AM

I've always enjoyed night time. Even when I wasn't suffering from my MI I still did. It's just always been a peaceful, calm time for me. I guess it's when I got my alone time. I normally would just sit in the dark on my PC and browse my forums and such. It just gave me time to unwind and be by myself. My fiance, now wife, understood that I needed that time to myself. So no, you're not different in any way. It's perfectly normal for people to enjoy certain times of day.

Some of the greatest advice I've ever received on DF: "Always remember that recovery is not linear"
Such a simple phrase, but so easily forgotten...


#4 Sheepwoman

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Posted 10 May 2009 - 12:46 PM

I like the peacefulness of nighttime. On warmer nights, I have a bonfire and look for shooting stars. I live out in the country with a busy road out front. The traffic dies down at night and I enjoy the silence.

However, I'm a day person and spend most of my time outdoors. I'm up early enough to watch the sunrise and the moonset.

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#5 illusion

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Posted 10 May 2009 - 02:51 PM

I have a mixed feeling about the night time. I have problems with racing thoughts and a normal day can easily overwhelm me. I feel a lot more calm during nights when nothing is going on.
On the other hand Im a lot more anxious during nights, which sometimes leads to racing thoughts again. But this makes me creative again, and on and on...

In general I love the night, but it seems like the night doesnt love me.

#6 Neo

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Posted 10 May 2009 - 03:05 PM

I'll take an overcast day over a bright sunny day any day. I feel more comfortable for some reason. Maybe a little more hiden rather than out in the light?
As far as darkness, I like it before sunrise best. But yea, I prefer dark.
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#7 ChrystalR

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Posted 22 May 2009 - 07:02 AM

Oh, I know exactly what you feel!

Lol, if it seems a little odd, then forgive me, I just felt like posting this little poem that I wrote years ago, it really describes how I felt about it, and still do in a way (although now it`s a little less depressive, lol) :

"Why I love the night!"

Thundering so wildly like a raging bull
Sneaking and crawling inside my skull
Feeling the tiredness crawling through
Holes in the skin, bleeding blue

How the pain stretches beneath the deep
A demon inside which lulls me to sleep
I cannot sleep through this blessed night
Sweet lies of darkness, they feel so right

Tomorrow again when the light returns
With no shadow to hide in, my soul will burn
Revealed will be the paths of day
Problems to solve and puzzles to play

It will take all the silence inside my mind
The peace that it took me the night to find
My failures so clear in the touch of light
Falls to my knees in this endless fight

But like the phoenix, you could say
The beetle will come for the dying day
As the Ashes gives birth to the darkest lies
The night awakens, and I open my eyes

My lies will soothe this beating heart
Where the demon makes the bleeding art
For I find in my darkest web of lies
My life, my reason, the peace inside
*.*.*

Suspect I may, yet not directly tell:
For being both to me, both to each friend.
I guess one angel in another's hell:
The truth I shall not know, but live in doubt,
Till my bad angel fire my good one out.

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*.*.*

#8 Elie

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Posted 14 July 2010 - 05:09 AM

:shocked: Not sure if i'm on the same wavelength but I feel different in the dark because
I can sort of stop thinking and hide in the blanket of darkness (sometimes it feels just as bad as the daytime because I realise I'm just kidding myself)- not healthy I know but it's what happens - certainly doesn't solve anything -
I've been like this for months now but am starting to accept it can't go on -
I go into my own little world and pretend outside and the past don't exist - (burying my head in the sand)
It sometimes feels there's nothing wrong and i'm not depressed then the morning comes and i'm in a panic again.
I really want to get past this and start facing reality asap I just feel in limbo atm
I suppose I know what it is I want to go back instead of going forward
I want to move on but there seems like a massive backlog of mess stopping me
I've just started on new anti dep so hopefully they will help
Anybody else recognise this?

Edited by Elie, 14 July 2010 - 06:02 AM.


#9 Elie

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Posted 14 July 2010 - 10:10 AM

:shocked: Not sure if i'm on the same wavelength but I feel different in the dark because
I can sort of stop thinking and hide in the blanket of darkness (sometimes it feels just as bad as the daytime because I realise I'm just kidding myself)- not healthy I know but it's what happens - certainly doesn't solve anything -
I've been like this for months now but am starting to accept it can't go on -
I go into my own little world and pretend outside and the past don't exist - (burying my head in the sand)
It sometimes feels there's nothing wrong and i'm not depressed then the morning comes and i'm in a panic again.
I really want to get past this and start facing reality asap I just feel in limbo atm
I suppose I know what it is I want to go back instead of going forward
I want to move on but there seems like a massive backlog of mess stopping me
I've just started on new anti dep so hopefully they will help
Anybody else recognise this?

just to say re my previous post i'm not bi-polar - but i am posting re: the darkness question




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