I know the best person is a professional and we are trying to get that to happen.
I am not looking for a diagnosis as only a pro can do that, but I would appreciate peoples thoughts on her behavior and some suggestions on what she maybe have. So I can look it up personally. Just to be informed and gain some knowledge.
She has been to therapy once when she was 11 a few times but it did not work out.
She is currently 17 years old.
I am just going to list some of her behaviors. This isn't meant to exploit her at all. I am simply curious what some opinions are. So i can look up the right things.
There are a lot of disorders as you know and it can be a headache for someone with little knowledge and experience.
Thanks in advance.
This list may be a bit jumbled , sorry for that.
Some of this may seem like it doesn't matter but I'm just gunna list it anyways!
This will be seriously.....extremely long....sorry for that...
***POTENTIAL TRIGGERS AHEAD???***
-Was a smart child, mature, quiet, and creative. Preferred to play with her imagination.
-At age 6 she started stealing from her school. Little things that really seem to have no value. She stole little teddie bear figurines, and so on. No idea why. She stole stuff from the neighbors yard too a few times. She stopped doing it though. I guess it got boring for her.
-Fire problems (I believe she plugged in her toy easy bake-like oven in closet when she was 4 years old, and it burned and almost caught fire. she blamed it on my brothers friend who was 7 at the time. I believe it was really her who did it. And we only let her play with this oven when we were around baking the treats/...no idea how she got hold of it but anyways). Also with the fire, later on in her life during ages 11 and up I have noticed her burning pieces of paper, valueless objects whenever she was angry. However, she seemed very jumpy with fire works and has always hated them. Now, later in her teens I have noticed she hates when people light candles, play with matches or lighters etc....I have found out that she feels an impulse of sorts to tip over the candle and so on. Later on I would also find out that fire burning things sexually arouses her and also provides relief to watch something burn up into ash.
-Started pulling her eyelashes out at 11 years old. This is why she went to the therapist that did not work out.
-Was never a huge cutter, but has occasionally liked to burn herself on the oven
-She does not like others knowing about this. Has finally talked and said she likes those things because it "feels good". She didn't know others did it, she just started out of nowhere and got addicted to the pain of it. She has a low range of emotions (I'll get to that in a second) so it's not really about that for her.
-She has to be in control of everything
-Nothing is ever her fault. She'll only admit it if it'll score her some kind of points with others for "honesty" so she can use that later on.(their trust)
-She has very low empathy and sympathy. it's like 95% of the time that just doesn't exist for her. She doesn't care. She puts on an act if she thinks it will get her somewhere or to pretend to be like sensitive to look like a good person. (I have been fooled by her...but after awhile you become truly exposed)
-It's taken her like six years to truly acknowledge her hair pulling issues, but then out of nowhere, she doesn't believe it again
-She hates admitting weaknesses or mistakes.
-She thinks people are weak, worthless, and basically tools for her to use to get what she wants
-Has always been quite manipulative and persuasive....she can persuade father to buy her a $4,000 dress from Chanel on the spot
-Has had horrible mood swings for the past 5 years at least. These moods last anywhere from hours to day. From horrible zombie like depression into manic...sometimes she can't fall asleep until like 5 AM because of thoughts bombaring her mind and sometimes she feels both depressed and high at the same time.
-A lot of people seem to like her at first, she can be really alluring. It helps that she is gorgeous too...which she always uses to her advantage
-Commonly extremely apathetic and doesn't care
-Believes many people to be not worthy unless they have something she wants or so on
-Materialistic and loves wealthy people because they can possibly help her out
-Has always been a complete pathological liar, for manipulative reasons but sometimes she just does it to do it, like she can't help it
-Now that I've known her, everything is so hard to believe....her crying, her "love"...anything
-Seems to have no real regard for the law. She just doesn't care. She doesn't commit crimes but it's like she doesn't care.
-Weird that I know this, but a horrible murder story/scene doesn't disgust her but rather invigorates her and actually turns her on sexually????
-She only gives to receive later on. She gives gifts like Gucci bags to mom or whatever and then basically uses it against her later on to have control
-Used to trap spiders and other insects or tiny animals and spray/torture them with perfume and such
-Is amazing at pretending to be a good samaritan type
-Doesn't seem to feel bad about 95% of the stuff she does that is immoral...very little guilt
-Am not supposed to know this, but ever since she was 11 years old she has been fascinated with creating new identities online and I guess becoming good friends with people only for them to find out later she was playing them the whole time...
-Becomes obsessed with people in a way ... stalks them online in a way. To lurk on their blogs, facebook etc. I don't think she has any intentions at all to harm them but is just obsessed with their life for awhile.
-Only gets crushes on older men (usually these men are around 27-40 years old)...maybe that is just who she is, or maybe she likes their success, or because it is illegal for another a year and its forbidden and such ...but she mentions she can't find younger men than that attractive at all
-Doesn't seem to be prude but would never have sex unless it was with someone who she could control after giving her virginity etc. She seems sexual but doesn't seem to have the capacity to want to please a partner (sexually...mentally...anyway....unless there was a huge benefit coming her way)
-She can fend for herself and is independent in certain ways....and will help around the house (much more than the brother does)....but again I feel like it's all to get a reward in the end...or to be able to say "look what I do!"
-She is very very intelligent still .. 4.0 student...
-Cannot win an argument with her because she is smart and persistent
I'm hoping I haven't left out anything important.....but again, I care about my sister and it is clear to me that something must be going on....even if it's just a mood disorder. I am not picking on her.....all of these things are severe. A lot of people are fooled by her and she can twist them into doing anything most of the time. I feel like she has no genuine feelings of love or anything of the sort....I don;t know...you have to be around her a lot to understand you know?
So if this sounds like something...bipolar, borderline...I don't know....whatever....please let me know.
Just so I can look it up and such.
Edited by DesertLily, 06 April 2009 - 04:23 PM.