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Depression And Irritability /anger Issues


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#1 becca158

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Posted 19 March 2009 - 10:20 AM

Hi there, a bit of history first .....I have had depression since I was 14 and have been on various medications for it. Over the years these have changed;

SSRI

1) Paroxetine 20mg/40mg (Paxil, Seroxat, Sereupin, Aropax, Deroxat, Rexetin, Xetanor, Paroxat)
2) Fluoxetine 20mg /40mg (Prozac, Fontex, Seromex, Seronil, Sarafem, Fluctin (EUR), Fluox (NZ), Depress (UZB), Lovan (AUS))
3) Escitalopram 20mg (Lexapro, Cipralex, Esertia)

Trycilic

4) Lofepramine 70mg (trademarked Gamanil, Tymelyt, generic Lomont)

Told it was an Anti-depressant, but later discovered it was an antipschycotic?

5)Flupentixol (INN) or flupenthixol

SNRI
6) Venlafaxine 150mg (tradenames Effexor XR, Effexor) (Current medication)

Right, well I have recently switched to Venlafaxine due to trial and error and all the others previous to this have not worked. Although, the seroxat worked wonders when I first took it.

Anyway, I used to have some serious anger control issues before I took any type of AD, but thought that was due down to hormonal angst and teenage hormones. However, since starting the Venlafaxine I have found that this "anger" has returned. I am fine and perfectly calm if on my own, but if I have to go out and eg go shopping I tend to slowly start to get tense and angry. People just seem to wander aimlessley and get in my way. I start screaming in my head "for god sake get out the ****** way" and just stand there, fists clenched. Or if someone doesn't hold a door when they have finished etc again the comments begin in my head.

I get aggitated and irritable very easily, if for some reason I am doing my coat up and the zip gets stuck I try once or twice and then I can' t stand it anymore I will physically just rip the thing of and chuck across the room my anger is so fierce. It scares me sometimes.

If I am driving and someone cuts me up, I am a lunatic! I used to be calm, but I feel like a frayed peice of rope. My control isn't what it used to be.

Even now, when I sit next to my mom in the evenings and she is watching tv, the rustle of her newpaper has my eye twitching and fists clenching and I long to scream at her "be quiet". I don't of course, because that is rude and its not her fault. But I can rationalise myself till I'm blue in the face but I still can't control my temper. When no one is around and something happens I punch walls, kick things.

I just wondered if anyone else was like this? I am cheery and cheerful, but quick to temper is someone says something I think is stupid, even if its a valid question. i get angry and think "why are they wasting my time" I don't understand why I am like this.

Like I said before i have always had anger issues but the pills to begin seemed to rein in that side of my temper. I do lots of physical activity like go to the gym and go out running and cycling just to try and burn of some of the energy because it feels like a ball of flames trying to consume me.

Sometimes its almost like ants crawling up my skins, just everything is an irritation. its not fair on me, but mostly its not fair on others around me. I do and am happy on the venlafaxine, its calmed or toned down the depression quite a lot. To the point were splitting with my ex was a mere blip in my life and not something spiralling out of control leading to suicidal thoughts.

I have no patience, I feel angry, strung out, but not tired. If anyone can relate or if this sounds familiar, please let me know.

thanks

Edited by becca158, 19 March 2009 - 10:44 AM.


#2 Trace

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Posted 20 March 2009 - 11:39 AM

Becca

How long has it been since you started getting really angry and irritable since it seemed to get better?
How long ago, did you switch meds?

Anger can also be a form of inner frustration. Is there anything within yourself that you are frustrated with, not outside frustrations?
If you can figure the main trigger for it, then you can learn how to deal with it.

Therapy and anger management can also help.

You could also find healthy ways of venting your anger.
Like writing it all down, or doing something physically constructive.

Trace
Listen in deep silence. Be very still and open your mind.... Sink deep into the peace that waits for you beyond the frantic, riotous thoughts and sights and sounds of this insane world. - A course of miracles.

True beauty must come, must be grown, from within.... - Ralph W Trine.



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#3 becca158

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Posted 23 March 2009 - 07:31 AM

Becca

How long has it been since you started getting really angry and irritable since it seemed to get better?
How long ago, did you switch meds?

Anger can also be a form of inner frustration. Is there anything within yourself that you are frustrated with, not outside frustrations?
If you can figure the main trigger for it, then you can learn how to deal with it.

Therapy and anger management can also help.

You could also find healthy ways of venting your anger.
Like writing it all down, or doing something physically constructive.

Trace


I have always felt like I hold myself back - in a lot of heated conversations I always feel ready to explode. But its not just that, its silly things as well like mentioned in my previous thread.

Sometimes I get like a funny feeling go over me, almost like a breeze, and then I just get short tempered and everything grates and irritates. It worries me because I know how nutty I look when I get angry. And I wonder why I get so worked up, the logical part of my brain is trying to calm me down but the conscious part is like a child that doesn't want to listen.

I was out walking the other day and a kid dropped a wrapper on the floor, purposefully, and part of me was already screaming in my head "pick that up you little ****!" Whilst the other part of me was just saying "go and pick it up, stop making a fuss he's just a kid"

I do go out running and go to the gym to try and destress and yes I do feel better when I have gone. But it never lasts long. Maybe I just need a holiday. I read and write as well.

I have been on the venlafaxine for around 3 months now, and admit I do feel alot better than previous so its obviously working.

I have just split with my bf which probably doesn't help, I feel alot of anger towards him. And I guess I have no way to vent that. Trashing his car is out of the option.

#4 1lostyankee

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Posted 05 August 2009 - 06:42 AM

Becca,
you said
I have been on the venlafaxine for around 3 months now, and admit I do feel alot better than previous so its obviously working.
and
since starting the Venlafaxine I have found that this "anger" has returned.

So is it working or not? Some of the things you mentioned have the same effect on me, and my anger scares me too. I almost broke a bone in my hand one time because I was so angry I slammed it down on the counter way too hard.

#5 mysticalgumballs

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Posted 07 November 2009 - 03:06 AM

I can relate to this, and I am sure that anger issues are related to depression but it is strange that they never list anger as a symptom. I guess not all depressed people have anger issues but I certainly do and I have seen this problem in other people with depression or anxiety. I guess if you are stressed it can also lead to small things setting you off. I also have punched walls and broken things in fits of rage, for little or no reason.. like not finding something in the fridge that I expected to be there.

#6 americandownunder

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Posted 07 November 2009 - 03:19 AM

Some drugs exacerbate anger. Some people think depression is anger turned inwards. Maybe you are less depressed because you aren't directing anger at yourself....
Midway on our life's journey, I found myself
in dark woods, the right road lost.
To speak about those woods is hard,
so tangled and rough and savage
that thinking about it now
I feel the old fear stirring.
Death is hardly more bitter.

-Dante

#7 becca158

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Posted 26 December 2009 - 07:28 PM

Some drugs exacerbate anger. Some people think depression is anger turned inwards. Maybe you are less depressed because you aren't directing anger at yourself....


I don't thats the case, I think that my mind just rations the anger. And most of the time now I find my anger is towards other things, because there are so many outside irritants. I suppose thats a good way to distract my self from being angry at myself like you say.

The medication definetly helps, I can honestly say that I think I would of done something silly if I hadn't gone to the GP and got more meds. (I'm at 300mg)
Regarding the irritation and anger -sad to say that I do avoid going out when i know its going to be busy. Because I can't handle the invasion in my personal space, the rudeness and complete ignorance and stupidity of 90% of people that I see. It's almost like being hypersensitive to everything, sound, sight, taste and smell.

I can smell things and be like "urhg lord what is that, and no-one else will immediatly pick up on it. The same with noises, especially if they are high pitched.

It's difficult to get the gp to understand because they only see you in a small window of time, and of course I tailor myself, restrict myself so that I can be comprehensible and get somewhere with the doctor. I need to get somewhere and get results, because the otherside of that balance is disaster.
Unfortunetly this means the dr never really sees this anger i keep bleating about, and because of this they tend to dismiss it.

My knuckles don't dismiss it from punching the wall, nor my thiings in my room from being thrown and lobbed across the room in screaming rages.

The anger could almost be likened to little ants crawling over me, all over and there is a voice in my head screaming "get them off" "get rid of it" so when I get angry its almost like me channelling that anger into what ever i'm hitting or throwing, though i know thats not what really happens.

But the flip side to that argument is i sit down quietly and count to ten whilst trying not to have a heart attack or high blood pressure from holding my breath and waiting for the rage to subside. mmn

Thankfully i got prescribed an ad on for that little dime, i hadn't noticed how intermittant my sleep was until i started the seroquel. Surfice to say some of that anger and impatience was probably down to lack of real/good/undesturbed sleep! who;d have know.

I mean, getting up 3 or 4 times during the night if not more, would of seemed normal to me a couple of months ago. As well as going to bed at like 1 oclock in the morning whilst waking intermitantly up until around 6 am before falling asleep only to have to get up at eight. Mind you I don't think I consciously considered or remembered the waking, but now that i have thought about it, i do remember the red leds on my clock and the times for them when i wake.

#8 Deepster

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Posted 26 December 2009 - 07:52 PM

Becca158-

I just want to make a brief comment. I can't help but notice that you mention you are being treated medically by a GP for psychiatric issues. Would it be possible that the GP could refer you to a properly qualified medical professional to help you deal with these issues?

In all honesty, GPs are well qualified to deal with the flu, back pain, and sinusitus. They are definitely not qualified to deal with "anger", nor other emotional issues. Even for a well qualified psychiatrist these things can be hit or miss. For a GP......well, it's kinda outta the ballpark in most situations.

Wishing you the best!
Deepster
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#9 ironman

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Posted 26 December 2009 - 07:59 PM

Hi there, a bit of history first .....I have had depression since I was 14 and have been on various medications for it. Over the years these have changed;

SSRI

1) Paroxetine 20mg/40mg (Paxil, Seroxat, Sereupin, Aropax, Deroxat, Rexetin, Xetanor, Paroxat)
2) Fluoxetine 20mg /40mg (Prozac, Fontex, Seromex, Seronil, Sarafem, Fluctin (EUR), Fluox (NZ), Depress (UZB), Lovan (AUS))
3) Escitalopram 20mg (Lexapro, Cipralex, Esertia)

Trycilic

4) Lofepramine 70mg (trademarked Gamanil, Tymelyt, generic Lomont)

Told it was an Anti-depressant, but later discovered it was an antipschycotic?

5)Flupentixol (INN) or flupenthixol

SNRI
6) Venlafaxine 150mg (tradenames Effexor XR, Effexor) (Current medication)

Right, well I have recently switched to Venlafaxine due to trial and error and all the others previous to this have not worked. Although, the seroxat worked wonders when I first took it.

Anyway, I used to have some serious anger control issues before I took any type of AD, but thought that was due down to hormonal angst and teenage hormones. However, since starting the Venlafaxine I have found that this "anger" has returned. I am fine and perfectly calm if on my own, but if I have to go out and eg go shopping I tend to slowly start to get tense and angry. People just seem to wander aimlessley and get in my way. I start screaming in my head "for god sake get out the ****** way" and just stand there, fists clenched. Or if someone doesn't hold a door when they have finished etc again the comments begin in my head.

I get aggitated and irritable very easily, if for some reason I am doing my coat up and the zip gets stuck I try once or twice and then I can' t stand it anymore I will physically just rip the thing of and chuck across the room my anger is so fierce. It scares me sometimes.

If I am driving and someone cuts me up, I am a lunatic! I used to be calm, but I feel like a frayed peice of rope. My control isn't what it used to be.

Even now, when I sit next to my mom in the evenings and she is watching tv, the rustle of her newpaper has my eye twitching and fists clenching and I long to scream at her "be quiet". I don't of course, because that is rude and its not her fault. But I can rationalise myself till I'm blue in the face but I still can't control my temper. When no one is around and something happens I punch walls, kick things.

I just wondered if anyone else was like this? I am cheery and cheerful, but quick to temper is someone says something I think is stupid, even if its a valid question. i get angry and think "why are they wasting my time" I don't understand why I am like this.

Like I said before i have always had anger issues but the pills to begin seemed to rein in that side of my temper. I do lots of physical activity like go to the gym and go out running and cycling just to try and burn of some of the energy because it feels like a ball of flames trying to consume me.

Sometimes its almost like ants crawling up my skins, just everything is an irritation. its not fair on me, but mostly its not fair on others around me. I do and am happy on the venlafaxine, its calmed or toned down the depression quite a lot. To the point were splitting with my ex was a mere blip in my life and not something spiralling out of control leading to suicidal thoughts.

I have no patience, I feel angry, strung out, but not tired. If anyone can relate or if this sounds familiar, please let me know.

thanks



HI! I have been trying meds for 15 years. I am now on wellbutrin xr and I have the anger issues too. The smallest things at all, that normally would never bother me now drive me crazy. My doctor is trying, I think doing his best but it just isnt working. I pray and talk to God alot. When I can't handle it I have to totally turn it over to Him and trust that He will take care of it because alone I can not. And within 5 to 10 minutes I just about forget about it. You are not alone..

#10 eggnbacon

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Posted 19 January 2010 - 05:15 AM

Hey,

Trust me, you are certainly not alone. I have had similar experiences and know that anger can be so terribly destructive to your everyday existance. I actually developed psychological muscle tension in my back from all of the repressed emotions I had floating around my subconscious - I still suffer some of it today, only not nearly as badly.

Firstly, I would like to say... PLEASE GO TO A TRAINED PSYCHIATRIST!!! I was treated incorrectly for 7 years by a GP who mucked around with my mental health all the while watching my life go down the toilet. She refused to refer me on, thinking due to her pride I suppose that she could handle it - because she had specialised in psychology. DO NOT TRUST A GP WITH YOUR MENTAL HEALTH!!!

My advice on your case is to do some looking at how you are viewing yourself. Are you working? Do you feel you are contributing to society in any way? Are you still hurting over your childhood and some issues from your past? If so, reflect on them... write them down and CHOOSE to forgive the people who hurt you. Forgiveness is a choice, not a feeling.

Also, are you a source or a sink? Is energy and information flowing into you and out of you in a balanced way? If you are taking in more than you are giving out - eg. reading self help books etc - and finding no outlet for what you are learning, then not only will you not achieve the maximum wisdom of your reading, but you will also suffer information overload which can lead to confusion and frustration - a short fuse.

I am guessing that you have a very low opinion of yourself from what you say. You say you get angry at other people for small things like not holding a door open (I'm guessing that is something you yourself WOULD do for others). It has been said that the things we criticise other people for are the very things that we ourselves are doing in some area of our lives... "First take the log out of your own eye before you criticise the speck in mine". What are the things that are annoying you? Consider what you are doing for others around you? In the case of the 'door' incident, you may consider it polite to hold the door, and I believe that you are attaching your opinion of yourself to the way that others are demonstrating your OWN values. People will not react or behave the way that you want them to... they will do what THEY want or think is right. What I mean basically is, if someone doesn't agree with you about something, that is their choice and you must learn to let go of the attachment to the outcome.

When you are by yourself, you do things your way and you are happy because you are 'in control' of your own world. When you are around other people, their ways of doing things begin to impact on your existance and what you feel is right or wrong. The main problem is not whether you think they are right or wrong, but the attachment of your self-esteem or self worth to the fact that they either agree or disagree (out loud or just by their demonstrated behaviour) with your own ethical or moral code. Somehow, every time someone does something that 'disagrees' with your judgments, you feel internally stripped of your value and respond by becoming angry - or, in another way, defensive. Anger is a form of defence. You may be using it to 'attack' the things that are seemingly attacking your self worth.

The only cure for a low self esteem or self worth is to GIVE. You must become more of a giver than a receiver. Ask yourself, or God, to show you ways of giving to other people. Become a 'source' of value to others and your internal monitor will register that you are innately good and worthy, despite what happens around you. You will become calmer and more in control of your emotions.

Fundamentally, the flow of energy and information must be OUTWARDS and AWAY FROM YOURSELF. You are suffering from self-obesession and are prone to implosion. Find a way to give to others... even if it's taking your friend out for lunch, buying your workmate a coffee, donating to a cause. Give something to others, contribute to society and you will find that other people's opinions of you (the opinions that you have been ASSUMING they hold of you I suspect, not their real opinions), will not matter because you will create for yourself your own value.

Kind regards and God bless,

-Egg

#11 littlecatjoe

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Posted 21 January 2010 - 06:25 PM

My husband has suffered from DD as long as I have known him, and he is one angry man. When he is being treated successfully with meds he is not angry- and yes I mean your exact description of "angry" here, the rage reaction, not just grumpy. I have found that with the proper medication he has very little problems with the rage, and also that it seems to be closely tied to anxiety. He says the exact same thing about crowds as you do- people are in the way, they are rude, etc. etc.. For him it comes from anxiety and the only way he knows how to express his panic is through anger. I found that it also has to do with his sense of self worth, if someone does something that he feels makes him look stupid then he blows up as well. (Or blew up actually, it's been a while now and there have been some medication changes so I am not sure what will happen... It used to happen a few times a year and was always followed by a brief double depression episode) I would suspect that you need some medication adjustments/additions here and you might want to look into anxiety as well- it's not always expressed the way we expect it to be!

L.

#12 becca158

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Posted 01 February 2010 - 03:43 PM

Hey,

Trust me, you are certainly not alone. I have had similar experiences and know that anger can be so terribly destructive to your everyday existance. I actually developed psychological muscle tension in my back from all of the repressed emotions I had floating around my subconscious - I still suffer some of it today, only not nearly as badly.

Firstly, I would like to say... PLEASE GO TO A TRAINED PSYCHIATRIST!!! I was treated incorrectly for 7 years by a GP who mucked around with my mental health all the while watching my life go down the toilet. She refused to refer me on, thinking due to her pride I suppose that she could handle it - because she had specialised in psychology. DO NOT TRUST A GP WITH YOUR MENTAL HEALTH!!!

My advice on your case is to do some looking at how you are viewing yourself. Are you working? Do you feel you are contributing to society in any way? Are you still hurting over your childhood and some issues from your past? If so, reflect on them... write them down and CHOOSE to forgive the people who hurt you. Forgiveness is a choice, not a feeling.

Also, are you a source or a sink? Is energy and information flowing into you and out of you in a balanced way? If you are taking in more than you are giving out - eg. reading self help books etc - and finding no outlet for what you are learning, then not only will you not achieve the maximum wisdom of your reading, but you will also suffer information overload which can lead to confusion and frustration - a short fuse.

I am guessing that you have a very low opinion of yourself from what you say. You say you get angry at other people for small things like not holding a door open (I'm guessing that is something you yourself WOULD do for others). It has been said that the things we criticise other people for are the very things that we ourselves are doing in some area of our lives... "First take the log out of your own eye before you criticise the speck in mine". What are the things that are annoying you? Consider what you are doing for others around you? In the case of the 'door' incident, you may consider it polite to hold the door, and I believe that you are attaching your opinion of yourself to the way that others are demonstrating your OWN values. People will not react or behave the way that you want them to... they will do what THEY want or think is right. What I mean basically is, if someone doesn't agree with you about something, that is their choice and you must learn to let go of the attachment to the outcome.

When you are by yourself, you do things your way and you are happy because you are 'in control' of your own world. When you are around other people, their ways of doing things begin to impact on your existance and what you feel is right or wrong. The main problem is not whether you think they are right or wrong, but the attachment of your self-esteem or self worth to the fact that they either agree or disagree (out loud or just by their demonstrated behaviour) with your own ethical or moral code. Somehow, every time someone does something that 'disagrees' with your judgments, you feel internally stripped of your value and respond by becoming angry - or, in another way, defensive. Anger is a form of defence. You may be using it to 'attack' the things that are seemingly attacking your self worth.

The only cure for a low self esteem or self worth is to GIVE. You must become more of a giver than a receiver. Ask yourself, or God, to show you ways of giving to other people. Become a 'source' of value to others and your internal monitor will register that you are innately good and worthy, despite what happens around you. You will become calmer and more in control of your emotions.

Fundamentally, the flow of energy and information must be OUTWARDS and AWAY FROM YOURSELF. You are suffering from self-obesession and are prone to implosion. Find a way to give to others... even if it's taking your friend out for lunch, buying your workmate a coffee, donating to a cause. Give something to others, contribute to society and you will find that other people's opinions of you (the opinions that you have been ASSUMING they hold of you I suspect, not their real opinions), will not matter because you will create for yourself your own value.

Kind regards and God bless,

-Egg



I am not self-obsessed - I give to people lots of times. I buy stuff for people at work, I help others when they are at work as well. And it just erks me that the smallest common decencies can't even be used by people. it just speaks volumes for the world. It makes me want to not exist, it makes me feel that humans as a whole don't deserve to exist. The world is rotting around me and I seem to be the only one aware of it. My friend you say, the one who cries on the phone to me at her convenience but when i send a general text asking her if she is ok, she can't be bothered to answer. Donate to a cause, you mean like cancer research, because i run sponsored events to raise money for that. And I don't assume anything. Work colleagues, i listen to their tales of depression and how they can't cope, and then I see pictures of them partying on facebook. There is no balance, there is no give and you will receive. There is only people, and they are selfish creatures. (Not all!!! just the ones I seem to attract like a magnet and please don't psycho analyze that as being some unconscious need to attract people who treat me like crap so justify my guilt complex)




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