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Fear Of Death


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#1 DommyKeay18

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Posted 08 March 2009 - 04:58 PM

Alot of the time i lay awake at night thinking about death and, i end up getting my myself into a bit of a state. People tell me what will be will be and that death is just another part of life get on with it. I don't see how people can look at it this way i'm terrified of it. I think i'm gonna be nothing one day it's like i was never here. Why do i do these things when i'm gonna end up in a box? Why put yourself through the anquish and pain of everyday life when one day you'll be gone? I ask myself these questions every night and i never have the answers. My best friend died last month and it's added to my fears and made death seem much more real. I hope one day i can accept that we're not gonna be here forever i sure as hell wouldn't wanna be here forever but, the uncertaincy drives me insane at times.

#2 DesertLily

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Posted 08 March 2009 - 05:47 PM

It can be terrifying to think about what happens after we die. No one has come back from the dead to tell us so we have no proven facts about what happens once we die. I don't think it's abnormal at all to have fears over that. For me, I simply take on faith that after I die I am going to heaven. I find peace and comfort in that. Each person has their own beliefs and comes to terms with it in their own time and way. Maybe study each religion and see where that takes you. I considered different religions and decided I am more spiritual rather than religious. I hope you find the answers you're looking for.

Edited by azncollegegurl21, 08 March 2009 - 05:49 PM.

~Ann


"Our Greatest Glory Consists Not In Never Falling, But In Rising Every Time We Fall"-- Unknown


#3 grouch

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Posted 08 March 2009 - 10:42 PM

I am no professional. I can only tell you how I see it. You fear death. You are afraid you will be gone, gone as though you were never here. Wrong. You have impacted people, pretty much anybody you have ever been in contact with. Think: how many people could have had a positive impact from you? A person you complimented one day, a person you helped out another. And so on. Yeah, you (and EVERBODY ELSE!!!) have had negative impacts on people as well. And for darn sure you have been on the receiving end too. Do not fear death. It is not worth fearing. I assure you, you are not alone when it comes to dying. We ALL get to do it. Think about that. Every day, every person you meet will die (with the possible exception of Sean Connery, who when asked where he wanted to be buried replied that he had yet to decide whether to die or not). It's really OK, man. It's not somethinig to sweat about. Which brings us to the next point. Don't worry about being gone as though you were never here. It is your life. The only entity allowed to critique you on it depends on your religion. Be your own dog, do your own thing. Live well, and you will die well. I rodeoed for eight years. I was terrible, way too big to be a bareback rider. Knew more than a few guys that got killed. Every time I got screwed down, ready to ride, I said a quick prayer, ending with ".......I'll see you in eight seconds, or however long you need me down here." Still here, but have quite a few scars. I don't regret any of it. You do likewise. Best of luck.

#4 SoulSearching

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Posted 08 March 2009 - 11:10 PM

I am absolutely scared of death as well. I think what was said above was very helpful. Know that you're not alone
It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere. - Agnes Repplier

#5 Monkey man

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Posted 09 March 2009 - 09:19 AM

i think that death is something that frightens allot of people beacuse it is something that we can have no real understanding of. i agree thaty we all have to find our own way of dealing with these fears. for some peopel religion is the way forwards for others (like me) there is a more philosophical thought process that we have to adopt. i think that its just a case of looking into all diffrent beliefs on the subject and try to find one that sits best with you.

good luck

#6 Score22

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Posted 09 March 2009 - 11:37 PM

There is much literature on this subject. I recommend that you read The Denial of Death by Ernest Becker.

I think that the fear of death ultimately leads to an existential crisis. I think that the fear of death is also the fear of life.

#7 DommyKeay18

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Posted 10 March 2009 - 04:59 PM

There is much literature on this subject. I recommend that you read The Denial of Death by Ernest Becker.

I think that the fear of death ultimately leads to an existential crisis. I think that the fear of death is also the fear of life.


Very profound you're probably right.

#8 abg314

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Posted 07 July 2009 - 07:00 PM

i am 19 and i just started having this fear about 3 weeks ago. i can't sleep well because i feel that any little thing can go wrong with my body... i can't stop worrying about what will happen after i die. i've been having panic attacks like every other day, and can't get the constant worry out of my head. does anyone know if medication will help cure this phobia (i've just started lexapro)? i'm scared because no one can escape death, but i'm also scared of the unknown after you die. please help and thanks for reading.

#9 barabarossa

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Posted 08 July 2009 - 01:23 AM

i am 19 and i just started having this fear about 3 weeks ago. i can't sleep well because i feel that any little thing can go wrong with my body... i can't stop worrying about what will happen after i die. i've been having panic attacks like every other day, and can't get the constant worry out of my head. does anyone know if medication will help cure this phobia (i've just started lexapro)? i'm scared because no one can escape death, but i'm also scared of the unknown after you die. please help and thanks for reading.



hi , it is no good you worrying like this , let me tell you after 22 years of dealing with life and death situations as a fire fighter ,i have learned one thing and that is :we ALL have a day to die and if today is that day its gonna happen - if not it wont , plain and simple !!

let me relate a little story to you ( this i swear is true ) , i was at a large hotel fire many years ago , me and a college where stationed in a hall way cooling debris containing gas cylinders ( yea the Muppet's who owned the hotel kept them in the basement ) , any ways we had been there for a while and we BOTH heard someone say that the refreshment van was here and to take a spell and get some tea , well we went to do just that , but no van ( it had not even left base ) and when we returned to our post , where we had been standing a few minutes previously , there was a heavy cast iron bath ,which had ( we later found out ) fallen 3 floors and would have killed the pair of us , we asked everyone on the fire ground , who had called to us , but no one said they did , or believed our story , BUT i AND MY COLLIGUE will swear in any court in the world to the truth of this !! - so someone or something was looking after us that day

since then i have seen many people who have had "miraculous " ?? escapes from crashes and situations where all LOGIC says they should have died , and now firmly believe that it was just NOT THEIR DAY TO DIE

SO ITS NO GOOD WORRYING -just get on with your life as best you can - the reaper wont tap you on the shoulder before your time

and as to whats death like - well my take is this - if there IS something after - all well and good , if not there will be nothing and you wont know anything about it so whats to fear ??

one thing IS for sure , eventually it IS going to happen - but if you spend your time worrying WHEN ..................... hope you get my point here ..
it's not the getting depressed,-young Mr turner - it the getting back that's the problem ! ( with apologies to pirates of the caribbean )

#10 SecretMist

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Posted 08 July 2009 - 07:19 AM

Alot of the time i lay awake at night thinking about death and, i end up getting my myself into a bit of a state. People tell me what will be will be and that death is just another part of life get on with it. I don't see how people can look at it this way i'm terrified of it. I think i'm gonna be nothing one day it's like i was never here. Why do i do these things when i'm gonna end up in a box? Why put yourself through the anquish and pain of everyday life when one day you'll be gone? I ask myself these questions every night and i never have the answers. My best friend died last month and it's added to my fears and made death seem much more real. I hope one day i can accept that we're not gonna be here forever i sure as hell wouldn't wanna be here forever but, the uncertaincy drives me insane at times.


hi 'DommyKeay18', i'm sorry to hear about the loss of your best friend. i think a lot of people think of death especially when dealing with depression. when i am depressed and in a bad place then i feel the way you do, then when i get to feeling better i find that there is so much beauty in life to experience and that leaves me with great memories. ending up in a box doesn't scare me because i have faith and think i will go to heaven and be at peace. sometimes within my depression i have the feelings that nobody would miss me, but i know that isn't true. if i were to pass on to the next life then i know it would hurt my family, especially my grandchildren because they have had such a hare life and they are only 7 and 12 yrs old. for someone to tell me to get on with it or to get over it or even to go ahead and go then it makes me feel as though they are testing me and they dare me but in a way that they think it may bring me around. i'm glad i am alive and i do see the beauty within this world and that things do get better. it's hard i know but it does get easier. maybe getting therapy and see if they can get you on some medication that it will help with your constant thoughts of death. i think you should talk with your doctor and tell them how you are feeling and see if they can help you with some meds. keep posting and we will be here to listen. everybody has their own beliefs so we can all give you different outlooks on life and death.


#11 POPI

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Posted 08 July 2009 - 09:02 AM

Alot of the time i lay awake at night thinking about death and, i end up getting my myself into a bit of a state. People tell me what will be will be and that death is just another part of life get on with it. I don't see how people can look at it this way i'm terrified of it. I think i'm gonna be nothing one day it's like i was never here. Why do i do these things when i'm gonna end up in a box? Why put yourself through the anquish and pain of everyday life when one day you'll be gone? I ask myself these questions every night and i never have the answers. My best friend died last month and it's added to my fears and made death seem much more real. I hope one day i can accept that we're not gonna be here forever i sure as hell wouldn't wanna be here forever but, the uncertaincy drives me insane at times.

It is easy to get yourself into a state when overthinking death. Especially when you have recently lost someone that you care about. The reality is that death is real, but not now. Now life is real. When you go to that place of worry and dread turn on a light and involve yourself in doing "living" things. Read a book. Watch tv or listen to music that brings you strong "feel good'" emotions. We all get afraid when we think of life as we know it coming to an end, It becomes a matter of faith and belief on how far you let that fear take you. You are here! You have made an impact on people that know and love you. Because of this you will never really be gone. When we love someone in our memory the Angels sing! You do the things that you do each day, in this life because they are wondrous and marvelous and a part of this grand gift of life. Don't diminish your importance in each moment that you are here. Don't worry so much about what it unknown. When the time comes we all do what needs to be done. In the meantime, Be blessed and live large....POPI
May the blessings of this day be upon you.

#12 fuzzbrain

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Posted 08 July 2009 - 09:43 AM

About a month ago, I went through a weeks-long episode thinking about death. You can really get yourself into a tailspin if you think about it too much. I got myself into quite a state and ended up on Mirtazapine for 3 weeks before I stopped due to the resulting lethargy and weight gain.

The way I get myself out of thinking about death now is considering how improbably it was that I ended up here, alive, as a human being, on this earth. I mean, when I was a wriggling sperm cell, how many millions of other sperm cells did I compete with to get into that egg ? If another cell beat me out would "I" be here ? I mean "I" as in my mind and my consciousness. The chances of me being here were pretty slim, so I try to tell myself I'm pretty lucky to be here given the poor odds of everything lining up 40 years ago to forge my existence.

#13 AngelOfTheMoor

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Posted 08 July 2009 - 10:16 AM

I actually have a big fear of death. I'm afraid that, once you die, you cease to exist. And to me that's a terrifying possibility---I don't want to stop existing, stop being conscious. I start to feel a nervous knot in my stomach when I think about that potentiality. If it's late at night, and death comes to mind, then I can't sleep because I just don't want that possibility to be true.

I think religion plays a big role in how most people deal with these types of fears. If there's an afterlife, then you won't cease to be. To me, going to hell (if it exists) even sounds more appealing than not existing. I know that in Buddhism not existing is a good thing, but those who aren't ready for that to happen experience reincarnation instead (also preferable to not existing, IMO).

I like to think that what happens to you when you die depends upon what you believe. There would be some poetic justice there. But just because I want to believe something doesn't mean it's true. So, since I'm unsure of what happens when you die, I fear death. (Contrary to Socrates's idea that fearing the unknown is silly.)




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