[knorton]

well here i am again, it's 1:00am and I'm still awake, can't sleep, can shut my brain off. i just don't know what to do, i can't live like this forever. i'm still trying to just ask God to open my heart and let his love and grace in, nothing seems to have changed yet. i guess i want it to happen overnight. my cousin came up from las vegas today and we watched her 10 year old little boy, she is divorced and is moving up here so she needed to find a house. ken (my husband) mostly watched the boys because i just don't have the energy or patience, he is a sweet child. i just kept thinking, wow she's starting over, a 'do-over', yes she has her boy but other than that she's starting over. i could never do that, i have 4, kids and a husband.

my house is a mess, i have tons of laundry, i think the kids maybe have 1 outfit each to wear, i just can't get it together. when i go somewhere ie. store, drop of a child, church, i don't want to go home because i don't want to see the mess, i just wish i could get it together, clean the house, do the laundry etc. ken was doing everything for a long time and i'm grateful for that but he's getting tired. he only gets about 3 to 4 hours of sleep a night as it is. i wish the kids would kick in and help but howmany times do we have to have the 'talk' before they get it. i even took them into my pastor to see if he could talk with them but he's just not on the same page. he's very good with groups but not so good one on one, that's not his fault it's just i wish i someone that i could talk to.

I'm so tired of feeling this way. It's been a year this August, I don't know how much more I can put up with. My kids keep my here, I'm not sure why since they treat me so bad but I guess it's because I love them.

i'm going to try and go to sleep now.

knorton

[MaddieLouise]

knorton,

I'm sorry to hear you are going through such a tough time right now. All the lack of motivation, energy, and sadness of course are symptoms of depression. Are you seeing a doctor for this, getting any therapy, or taking any medication?

You are lucky to have a supportive husband and especially lucky to have children. They are a true blessing (even though they do go through the laundry!).

Hope you got some sleep! Things always look different in the morning.

Sincerely,

Maddie

[Cymbalta_Survivor]

KNorton,
The Cymbalta could be making your symptoms worse...that is what happened to me and lots of other people! I know you don't feel well because I've been there!! But, try to gather enough strength to research Cymbalta on the internet and then decide if you want to stop taking it.

If you decide to stop taking it, be prepared for some severe withdrawal symptoms. Many doctors, including psychiatrists are not educated about Cymbalta withdrawal. I found great info and support at a site that deals only with Cymbalta Withdrawal. I can't post the name of the site, but if you google "Cymbalta Withdrawal" you will find that site. There are lots of people who are sharing their stories and providing support over there.

It does get better!!

[knorton]

MaddieLouise, on Jul 20 2008, 04:10 PM, said:

knorton,

I'm sorry to hear you are going through such a tough time right now. All the lack of motivation, energy, and sadness of course are symptoms of depression. Are you seeing a doctor for this, getting any therapy, or taking any medication?

You are lucky to have a supportive husband and especially lucky to have children. They are a true blessing (even though they do go through the laundry!).

Hope you got some sleep! Things always look different in the morning.

Sincerely,

Maddie

Yes I'm taking meds, cymbalta 180 mg, 2 mg klonipin and a sleep aid. The problem is they have tried about 20 different meds and none of them work. I'm ready to go off everything, it's just frustrating. I just feel like giving up this struggle. I'm tired.