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Gabyb1102

Always Thinking/scared About Death

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I have found myself thinking too much about death lately (not that I want to commit suicide) I just picture bad scenes of the people I love (mom,dad daughter hubby) dying and I hate it, it haunts me specially at night. I had what looked like a panic attack a few weeks ago and I thought I was gonna die, my heart was racing and I could hardly breath and was incontrollably shaking to the point that my husband had to call the rescue and they found nothing in my heart, and it just started slowly going away. It all happened after I had read about a girl that was accidently killed by his brother. I've been avoiding bad news since then.

What I believe has gotten me to this point is the fact that I've realized how easy we can leave this world, I hate the news cause everytime I see them it's all about death and violence

I just dont want to tell anybody about this, and I try to focuse on good positive things throughout my day

Is there anybody going through the same thing

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Posted (edited)

:hearts: to DF, (((((Gabyb1102)))))

I used to suffer from those visions and fears quite a bit in my younger years. I would imagine all kinds of horrible injuries and death of my loved ones, and it made me very frightened and upset. Over the years it has subsided, but still comes up once in a while. I tend to think of the most tragic, gut-wrenching, and unjust catastrophes! But I also fantasize about my own death occasionally, not as a plan, but as a twisted way of relieving stress and feeling more at peace. Hard to explain.

Edited by suburgatory

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I have found myself thinking too much about death lately (not that I want to commit suicide) ......

i do the same. even though my meds are working reasonably well, i still have plenty of very negative things popping in my head all the time. its usually me who's on the receiving end of things though. i'll be walking down the street and all the sudden can see in my mind my own 'ending' as it would happen there and then. i get the thought that 'wake up, you're actually already dead..' When i'm functional i keep telling myself that these are not my thoughts, they are the depression talking, its not real at all. its a real pain in the butt, no doubt about it. it takes effort to steer my brain away from those thoughts, and on a good day i'm pretty good at logically thinking it through, knowing that its just the depression trying to point me in a negative direction and i can gain control of things. after a while i got so i could sort of ignore it, just as i would ignore other 'more normal' irrational thoughts. they still creep through every now and again though.

just curious, what are your dreams like? mine are almost always very negative..

good luck,

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I have found myself thinking too much about death lately (not that I want to commit suicide) ......

i do the same. even though my meds are working reasonably well, i still have plenty of very negative things popping in my head all the time. its usually me who's on the receiving end of things though. i'll be walking down the street and all the sudden can see in my mind my own 'ending' as it would happen there and then. i get the thought that 'wake up, you're actually already dead..' When i'm functional i keep telling myself that these are not my thoughts, they are the depression talking, its not real at all. its a real pain in the butt, no doubt about it. it takes effort to steer my brain away from those thoughts, and on a good day i'm pretty good at logically thinking it through, knowing that its just the depression trying to point me in a negative direction and i can gain control of things. after a while i got so i could sort of ignore it, just as i would ignore other 'more normal' irrational thoughts. they still creep through every now and again though.

just curious, what are your dreams like? mine are almost always very negative..

good luck,

Thanks for your repply, I'm glad I'm not alone..that happens to me too, I'm at any place and I start imagining that something horrible will happen to me or my husband or daughter right there, it is just horrible! I also try to focus on very positive things but it 's not easy to fight those negative thoughts

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Posted

:hearts: to DF, (((((Gabyb1102)))))

I used to suffer from those visions and fears quite a bit in my younger years. I would imagine all kinds of horrible injuries and death of my loved ones, and it made me very frightened and upset. Over the years it has subsided, but still comes up once in a while. I tend to think of the most tragic, gut-wrenching, and unjust catastrophes! But I also fantasize about my own death occasionally, not as a plan, but as a twisted way of relieving stress and feeling more at peace. Hard to explain.

Thanks for repplying, that is also what is happening to me and it's definetly taking a toll on me, I hope it starts to go away too.

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Yep, I'm just the same! My Hubby is such a good man that I have a DREAD that something bad will happen to him before he reaches a ripe old age. :hearts: I watched my Dad [79] really ill and die over the last 3 years which has made my worries worsen. My gut lurches with fear just as I drop off to sleep. :flowers:

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Yep, I'm just the same! My Hubby is such a good man that I have a DREAD that something bad will happen to him before he reaches a ripe old age. :flowers: I watched my Dad [79] really ill and die over the last 3 years which has made my worries worsen. My gut lurches with fear just as I drop off to sleep. :hearts:

Hi - I have thought this way for years. More so lately with my dad who has lung cancer and going through some tough times. I feel like i'm living in a dream world, i should say nightmare. Can i ask anyone what meds helped them with this tough situation living in fear of death, i'm so tired of living this way. Especially with dad so ill, it's just getting worse. I've tried all ssris, side effects awful. I'm suppose to try despiramine and i'm so afraid of side effects and read about causing breast cancer! I take Ativan during day and temazapam at night. Fear has been with me many many years, i'm 47 and sooooooo tired. :hearts:

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i think about death a lot too, my own death and people i know. my head just goes that way very quickly, regardless of my mood. the thing is, it doesn't upset me. i've had thoughts about suicide a lot over the years, coming up with different ways of doing (sometimes ways to make it look like an accident, sometimes to leave no doubt that was completely premeditated). i genuinely don't think i'll ever actually **** myself, but if i was told by a doctor that i didn't have long to live i'd feel relieved.

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i think about death a lot too, my own death and people i know. my head just goes that way very quickly, regardless of my mood. the thing is, it doesn't upset me. i've had thoughts about suicide a lot over the years, coming up with different ways of doing (sometimes ways to make it look like an accident, sometimes to leave no doubt that was completely premeditated). i genuinely don't think i'll ever actually **** myself, but if i was told by a doctor that i didn't have long to live i'd feel relieved.

Interesting. My girlfriend who is depressed but fights it with daily exercise said she can't wait to get to the other side. She actually feels happy for people who pass away, even young, because they are going to a better place!!! I'm the opposite, i'm depressed thinking about it, i don't have the faith in going to a better place like she does. I wish i could think like her, i'd probably lose a whole lot of my depression. I feel sad because my dad has cancer and he thinks as i do which makes him depressed. I wish he felt as you did, relieved to be moving on. Actually he says he is not afraid of death, just afraid of suffering.

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Posted (edited)

Yes I have. I don

Edited by Sula

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i think about death a lot too, my own death and people i know. my head just goes that way very quickly, regardless of my mood. the thing is, it doesn't upset me. i've had thoughts about suicide a lot over the years, coming up with different ways of doing (sometimes ways to make it look like an accident, sometimes to leave no doubt that was completely premeditated). i genuinely don't think i'll ever actually **** myself, but if i was told by a doctor that i didn't have long to live i'd feel relieved.

Interesting. My girlfriend who is depressed but fights it with daily exercise said she can't wait to get to the other side. She actually feels happy for people who pass away, even young, because they are going to a better place!!! I'm the opposite, i'm depressed thinking about it, i don't have the faith in going to a better place like she does. I wish i could think like her, i'd probably lose a whole lot of my depression. I feel sad because my dad has cancer and he thinks as i do which makes him depressed. I wish he felt as you did, relieved to be moving on. Actually he says he is not afraid of death, just afraid of suffering.

i can understand your dad being afraid of suffering. it must be awful knowing you're facing into pain. as for having faith and going to a better place; i have no spiritual or religious beliefs (i'm a little envious of people who do). i just accept the fact that when i'm gone, i'm gone. it sounds a little defeatist but i guess it makes me want have a good life cos there's nothing else afterwards.

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Yep been there done that, bought the t-shirt. I think about the possibility of my parents death a LOT, way too much for a normal person. I guess it's because they've been one of the few stable things in my life, and the thought of knowing they're going to be gone one day is a grim painting. You've just got to try to pull through it, find something else to occupy your mind.

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This has been a regular thing for me. Evertime i go to sleep, i have dreams which involve my parents or brother being harmed. I've had a few dreams about my death aswell. I know i wouldn't **** myself but it is something which i find myself thinking about. My mum went on holiday a few weeks ago and i had dreams about the plane crashing. This was one of the factors that caused me to 'break down' a week ago. I think i'm just too scared of losing them.

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YOU KNOW PEOPLE WHO THINK ABOUT DEATH MYSELF INCLUDED " WE ARE THE NORMAL ONES" THE PEOPLE WHO SAY YOU ARE DEPRESSED ? THOSE ARE THE PEOPLE WITH THE REAL PROBLEMS WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE PLAIN AND SIMPLE AND I THINK ABOUT IT 24/7 ..... WHEN IS IT COMING ? IS THERE LIFE AFTER DEATH ? HAVE TO GO BACK TO THINKING ABOUT IT

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YOU KNOW PEOPLE WHO THINK ABOUT DEATH MYSELF INCLUDED " WE ARE THE NORMAL ONES" THE PEOPLE WHO SAY YOU ARE DEPRESSED ? THOSE ARE THE PEOPLE WITH THE REAL PROBLEMS WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE PLAIN AND SIMPLE AND I THINK ABOUT IT 24/7 ..... WHEN IS IT COMING ? IS THERE LIFE AFTER DEATH ? HAVE TO GO BACK TO THINKING ABOUT IT

Welcome to DF, joeymole,

Please do not type in CAPITOL LETTERS, as that means you are shouting at people when you type. It is part of Internet Etiquette. Thank you and have a nice thought.

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