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[beg1984]

what will happen if i tell my therapist i want to die... i go to a state funded outpatient mental health facility)... what will they do... to be real honest i am very embarassesd that i feel this way... and frightened by what might happen if i tell someone, how will it affect my insurance(assuming i ever get any) if i report this to my therapist?

[Hircon]

If they think you are a risk to yourself, they may recommend you check in to a hospital.

I'm not sure what the laws/insurance is like in the US though, I am afraid.

But in all honesty... if you are feeling suicidal / like dieing, you REALLY need to tell your therapist NOW. Either they can talk you down from the edge, or advise on your best next step.

Your life is on the line, you really shouldn't worry about insurance right now.

[beg1984]

i know what i need to do, im just afraid they will try to put me in a hospital or some crap like that

[SCIROCCO]

i know what i need to do, im just afraid they will try to put me in a hospital or some crap like that

I started keeping a mood record chart thing about a month ago and on Tuesday took what I have to my pdoc. There were 3 days out of whatever (30 or so) that I recorded feeling suicidal. Not to the point that I was going to do it, but to the point that I was thinking of how to do it so that no one knew I did it. I told him about it. You know they're concerned and they're going to get to the bottom of what's going on... severity and stuff. But really, it obviously happens. We get that way. I don't know if there is some kind of confidentiality thing or what, but I've been there a number of times and my insurance has never mentioned it. I don't even think that the doctors mention it. But, I don't know. I would definitely tell your doc. You gotta be completely honest about EVERYTHING. I do know that.

I'm afraid that it mind sound like I'm downplaying it. I'm not. I can totally relate and it has to be the worst feeling a person can possibly have. If you're to the point that you really really want to do it. YOU HAVE TO tell someone NOW.

If you're bipolar, you must know that there are ups and downs. You have to realize that it's the "crazy" part of the brain telling you to do this.

I'm still afraid that this sounds like I'm downplaying it. Please don't take it that way. Do something. Tell your doc or someone else. You really will feel better just by doing that.

[Trace]

((((((((((Beg)))))))))))

I know its scary, but do not be afraid to tell your therapist. Your therapist will recommend what is best for you, likely a trip to the hospital, but that may be what could help you right now. You should have a confidentiality agreement with your therapist and should not worry about the therapist and the insurance. I am from a different country, but insurance should help you in a time like this (I am assuming you are talking about medical insurance?), as you have an illness.

Trace

[flippingout]

i've told my np in the past that i've wanted to **** myself.. honestly nothing happened.. i guess they dont have to do anything unless they feel the need is immenent. plus... i guess factors like: if you have a plan, if you have means to that plan, if you've held or tried your plan, if you have a history of attempts, if you want to hurt others, etc, etc. i'm in the market for a new np, mine's currently on leave, and i guess everyone's different. but i remember being afraid the first time to tell her... but turned out ok. felt good to talk abut why i wanted to die without any reprecussions.

[Burgy]

Please don't feel embarrassed about your feelings, (((((beg))))). They're symptoms of depression, and need to be treated like any other life threatening symptoms. I understand your fear of repercussions if you talk about suicide. Rest assured that the details you give your therapist are not revealed to insurance providers. The only thing your insurance company would know is the official diagnosis, which is generally required for coverage.

The laws vary from state to state about what is to be done when a person speaks of suicide. The important thing is to do whatever it takes to avoid it, even if you run the risk of being hospitalized. In my state, I found that nothing was forced on me when I spoke of suicide in general terms, like thoughts of death or wanting to die, but having no definite plan. Many years ago when I actually attempted suicide, a friend called 911 for an ambulance. The police showed up later, and basically I was given the choice of either staying in a mental hospital for a few days, or being arrested. I chose the hospital.

[beg1984]

basically I was given the choice of either staying in a mental hospital for a few days, or being arrested. I chose the hospital.

jail or the cookoos nest... hmmmm... what would they be arresting you for?

[Burgy]

basically I was given the choice of either staying in a mental hospital for a few days, or being arrested. I chose the hospital.

jail or the cookoos nest... hmmmm... what would they be arresting you for?

Murder (and attempted murder) is illegal, whether it's of yourself or another person.

[ChrystalR]

basically I was given the choice of either staying in a mental hospital for a few days, or being arrested. I chose the hospital.

jail or the cookoos nest... hmmmm... what would they be arresting you for?

That actually put a smile on my face..
Arresting you for premature murder. That would be something to have in ones records!

But, seriously, I read in a earlier post about mood charts! I have been trying to make one of those myself, but am unsure of what information to put in it. Everything seems either too little or too much. I have been in that state myself, not actually planning to **** myself, but how I could do it without being "caught". Like making it look like an accident. It is much more difficult than it might seem. But is that something you should tell your psych then? I feel like someone who is fishing for attention when I bring up the subject with him. I dont want attention, but a ****** diagnose!

[Burgy]

basically I was given the choice of either staying in a mental hospital for a few days, or being arrested. I chose the hospital.

jail or the cookoos nest... hmmmm... what would they be arresting you for?

That actually put a smile on my face..
Arresting you for premature murder. That would be something to have in ones records!

Attempted murder is a felony offense in the States. It doesn't matter whether you try to murder yourself or someone else. Glad it gave you a smile, though.

[beg1984]

this day has been such a waste, i dont even want to leave the house, i cant really remeber what is going on from one minute to the next, i really dont know what today is, i know i went to work yesterday cause people recall seeing me there its like a movie, i dont feel like 'I' was there, i dont remeber 'ME' being there but i was

nothing is going right, i feel like i dont care about anything, i cant gather my thoughts at all, they just keep wondering to a very very dark place

i have some left over paliperidone i am thinking about taking, only enough for 13 days, that wont get me to my pdoc appointment its the 10th of next month

honestly i feel i am going to die anyway i mean its coming

why does it seem like i feel ike i am loosing?

i have spent all my life trying to manage my feelings and keep people from knowing

i just want to break down and cry without any consecquences

but it doesnt really work that way does it'

i have wasted every bit of my life havent i>??

all this time wasted tryging to be ok .

well itss not ok its not ok at all
and i am to scared to talk about it

but why?

[ChrystalR]

[/quote]

Attempted murder is a felony offense in the States. It doesn't matter whether you try to murder yourself or someone else. Glad it gave you a smile, though.
[/quote]


I dont live in the states. In Norway, if you threathen to commit suicide, they put you on a waiting list! Then, perhaps in four or five months, after being sent to some under-educated quack, they finally get you to a real shrink. That is, if you are still alive..

To Beg1984: It sounds very horrible, how you feel, and I hope that things go better today. I dont think anything is truly wasted. Life is like this learning curve, and no one already knows it all. We learn from each day, no matter how bad it is. Why? Because perhaps when you begin talking about where you have been, then you are afraid you will fall down even deeper. I sometimes feel that way. I am crazy enough already, I think, if I am not to actually confess to it. It is silly though. You are not crazy, nor unnormal, and neither am I. But everything isnt okay.

[Trace]

Beg

Whatever life we have been given, it is a journey and nothing is ever wasted. I do not believe you have wasted your life, especially the part about trying to help yourself. That is not a waste, that is a good thing. Please do not be afraid to talk, not at all. Talking never harmed anyone.

Trace