Posted 08 May 2007 - 05:57 PM
I just wondered what people on here thought about my illness, here goes. I have had depression plus episodes of psychosis for around 11 years now +. I have seen psychiatrists who thought i was schizophrenic and then said not and so as far as i know i am not sure what they think. I was physically and mentally abused as a child/teenager plus being sexually assaulted and abused by a partner. Well it has all took its toll on me and i have been reading about BPD and it sounds just like me to a certain point but what i noticed is that i have a very deep fear of being on my own and i will do anything to get out of being on my own even if it means lying to my husband and family. I feel very anxious about social situations, as i feel so inferior and i avoid being out too much depending on how i feel. I am very mistrustful and i wonder what people say and think about me. I have quite a few fits of rage/anger though this is improving with therapy and i have OD over 8 times plus other self harm, i kinda see this as trying to tell people just how bad i feel.
I must be the centre of attention otherwise i dont cope well and i hide away and feel paranoid about the situation, i feel empty a lot and hopeless and i dont do well with relationships. I fall in love very quickly and then i cant let them out of my sight. I get jealous very quickly but i alternate between wanting them and hating them!!.
I also have an eating disorder and OCD plus depression. I could go on and on, does this sound like BPD?.
We have a child and it is very hard to cope, not because he is hard work but when i am low i feel and am incapable of looking after him, my moods affect me so badly.
Posted 09 May 2007 - 06:16 AM
"Eat a live frog before breakfast and nothing worse will happen to you all day"
"Only Robinson Crusoe can get things done by Friday!"
Suicide help on DF
UK help for people who are suicidal
I am not a medical professional, when I reply to posts I do so basing my reply on personal experience or a wish to support the poster.
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