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Quitting College


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#1 Guest_kwilli0_*

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Posted 20 March 2007 - 11:29 PM

Ok, here's the situation:

I was doing my honours undergraduate degree and got halfway through my undergrad thesis when the depression really hit bad. I took a leave of absence from my thesis (have to complete by May 2007). Went and did a post-grad certificate this year but it wasn't very academically challenging. Now I have to decide if I'll go back to finish my thesis. I have a BA, but this would give me a Honours BA. My family wants me to go back and I want to go back BUT I feel totally overwhelmed every time I think about it. The bottom line is I don't think I can do it. Realistically I'm not up for it no matter what I want.

The problem is that I feel so guilty and ashamed about quitting. I know that I can always go back and that if I had a physical illness people wouldn't question it. But I still feel like I'm letting myself and my family down.

Has anyone else had a similar experience? How can I come to terms with my limitations? I don't know who else can understand this situation...

#2 surgeon2006

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Posted 21 March 2007 - 01:52 AM

I guess a big part of your thought pattern can also be put down to the depression.

I know its hard to make decisions and see the bigger picture when we're already feeling down and overwhelemed. But you have to remember that you can always go back to college and finish your honours later on, i know they allow that here, unsure about how things work where you are?

Why not go back and see how things go? Give yourself some time to adapt back into study but give yourself some leway as well.

Hang in there, things will work out for you.
SO6
Life is too short to wake up with regrets,
So love the people who treat you right.
Forget about the ones who don't.
Believe everything happens for a reason.
If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands.
If it changes your life, let it.
Nobody said life would be easy....
they just promised itd be worth it.

#3 EvinLejonhjarta

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Posted 21 March 2007 - 04:41 AM

Oh yes, I know about the guilt and shame and letting down feelings.
But, I think you should do what you feel is right.
Maybe you can do it little by little?
Does anyone out there have the ability to help you with it?
Not in writing I mean, more like emotional support?
I had a breakdown while writing my thesis, but I made it thru.
Im now completing other tasks as well and taking it little at a time.

:hearts:


Evin
Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.
--- Kahlil Gibran


You have to be strong. Strength of heart will carry you through the hardest of trials.

#4 Rabbit

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Posted 21 March 2007 - 04:56 AM

I'm presently writing a dissertation for a BA Hons. I've just started, but I already have a sense of impending doom, so I have some idea of what it's like.

I think that if you quit, you ought to do so as thoroughly as possible no lingering guilt or shame, just cut your ties with it completely. Give yourself a complete break and the time to get better. I know that it may be difficult to overcome those feelings. Just remember that the reason you quit was because you needed to get better and that those feelings of guilt and shame aren't helping.

Alternately, you could tackle the challenge and give it your all, taking it day by day.

It's up to you which of these options is best. If it's a real challenge, or if it's simply not possible right now is your call.

I think the worst possible situation is to get stuck between those two options. To quit on paper, but to do so with guilt and shame. It doesn't sound as though you're using your depression as an excuse, so there is nothing to be ashamed of. You're not letting people down by taking care of yourself. Just do the best that you can.
"To be a philosopher is not merely to have subtle thoughts, nor even to found a school, but so to love wisdom as to live according to its dictates, a life of simplicity, indepdendence, magnanimity, and trust." - H.D. Thoreau

#5 Rosie

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Posted 21 March 2007 - 08:59 AM

I know the exact feeling. I took all of my coursework and passed my PhD exams, but I have never tackled the Dissertation. All of those years of hard work and success, and I just quit. One of the hardest parts is trying to explain it to other people. They always ask me why I don't just go back. The truth (although laden with tons of guilt) is that I simply don't want to. I have a good career in my field and life is pretty okay. Status quo works for me. I don't really feel like going backwards. So... my advice is to follow your heart. If the stress of going back and finishing is just overwhelming, focus on the future and the positive. The guilt will still strike now and then, but at least you will have taken control of your own life and followed your own heart. If you think that you can get back into the swing of things, go ahead and try again, but please don't put too much pressure on yourself.

#6 Sheepwoman

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Posted 21 March 2007 - 09:46 AM

Here's a few alternatives that you could do for yourself right now. Talk to your Academic Advisor regarding your classes and the difficulty you're having to get through them. This may result in getting an extension on the due date of your thesis and that could help you. If you need a third party to speak with about your feelings, go to your campus student health center and ask to see a counselor or therapist. You will surely get some good feedback with any of these options.

As far as quitting college, you may take a leave of absence for a semester or a year to help yourself. I realize there is a lot of stress related to college academics (I've been there, too), but if you desire to graduate, you always can go back. It's not a shame to quit when you're not up to the daily challenges. You may let yourself down a bit but you can always bounce back. Don't feel guilty about whatever you decide to do. It isn't worth it and it makes you feel miserable.

Whatever you decide to do, we will be here to give you support.
Sheepwoman :hearts:
It is not the life I lived; but the life I leave behind. Posted Image
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God will give you no more than you can handle. This is all a test to see if you are really ready for the good things that are going to come your way. All this pain is going to come back and make me stronger.-Clarence Clemmons 1942-2011

Everything I know, I know because I love. Leo Tolstoy War and Peace

#7 misfit

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Posted 21 March 2007 - 10:06 AM

If you want to do a Master's or any kind of post grad work, then yeah, an Honours designation is important...it will help...but if you don't want those things, it is pretty much a waste of time. I just have a general B.A...if you just want to work when you are finished school, that is all you need.
This is about YOU. Not your family. A B.A. is a major accomplishment. If you don't want the honours, don't do it. The question is, what do you really want?
Misfit
We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves-Buddha

#8 SadSunDevil

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Posted 21 March 2007 - 02:25 PM

I agree with what everyone has said. You should be PROUD that you have accomplished so much in your college career! I am only a second semester freshman, and I long to be where you are. I know what it is like to be battling depression while attending school- and the impact it can have on your ability to get things done on time. Dont be ashamed or feel guilty if you decide that your honors degree isnt something that you want. As stated earlier- what you get out of your education is for you, and you only.

-SadSunDevil




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