I Think Counseling Is Making Me Worse
Posted 12 March 2007 - 11:50 AM
All we are doing is talking about me and how i feel durring the sessions. Maybe that is why it is so hard for me. I don't like to talk about myself and when i do i feel like i am asking for pity which is something that i don't want.
When i said that to my counselor she tried to make me go deeper into that feeling and i hated it. While we were talking about what i thought was nothing she was digging out these stupid things that i didn't know made a difference in my life.
I told her about how i hate to have to rely on people. She asked me for examples and i told her some things. Like i got my first job at 10 working under the table because it was ilegal for a ten year old to have a job. Then started working full time when i was fifteen till i graduated and my parents made me quit. I take self defence classes, a wilderness survival call for fun, and can fix just about anything with my car if it breaks down on me.
Then she pointed out that i have AAA( a car service) so if anything did happen all i would have to do is call them, then that i didn't have to get a job so early becuase my parents wanted to give me money. And that i live in a city so why would i have to know how to survive in the wilderness. She said it was just part of my 'wall' again.
I am beginning to hate that analogy.
Anyway... did this happen to anyone else durring their first sssions? I have been dealing with untreated depression for years and this is the first time i have ever talked to anyone about it.
Once the game is over, the king and the pawn go back in the same box -no idea-
If one dream should fall and break into a thousand pieces, never be afraid to pick one of those pieces up and begin again. -flavia Weedn-
Posted 12 March 2007 - 11:57 AM
I can understand why you are having a hard time, therapy is not easy, it is hard work and at times very confronting. I know it is hard to talk about yourself and look into things a bit deeper, some things that might seem normal to you, might actually not be and your therapist is trying to get to know you and find a way to best help you.
I hope you will give her the benefit of the doubt, open up to her and try to trust her with your problems.
Don't give up, it is hard work but it will pay off after a while
Posted 12 March 2007 - 12:07 PM
Ive felt like this aswell, Im an extremely private person and Ive only been going for about a month but its getting to that "personal" stage that everyone hates but is necessary.
I would really recommend sticking with it, even if you loathe it, you may not realise it but it does help. I come out of counselling every week feeling like , last week it was a really personal session, I was quiet till I got home, cleaned for 3 hours then crashed out for the rest of the day. Its going to make you feel like but Ive found that its not to make you happy first off, its to clear your head to make you realise what is wrong and what you can do to make your life that little bit more liveable.
Stick with it and see how it goes, talk on this site aswell, anything thats bothering you, even if it is actually the counselling sessions, rant on here and get it out of your system, its the same as obbessively cleaning for me. It helps.
Take care of yourself,
Posted 12 March 2007 - 12:18 PM
Posted 12 March 2007 - 12:26 PM
Posted 12 March 2007 - 12:39 PM
Posted 24 July 2008 - 01:26 AM
If you have been keeping it all inside for years you have been doing what most do. We think we can fix the problem and often don't accept there is a problem at all. You are just realising it's time for help and that's a huge step. You should be proud you have made that step.
Therapy is very hard when you start as you are opening up your secrets that you have protected for so long. Until I had no choice I truly would have preferred to die tthan speak about my feelings or myself. It was terrible. But I became a public speaker and mass group trainer. If I can open up then you too can. And you are. It is just untried ground and you are learning to walk.
It actually sounds to me like the therapist is quite good as the issues are being pinpoiinted. But you could ask to move slower as you are finding it very confronting and can't deal with too much too quickly. Spacing out the sessions is one way.
Remember it's your treatment and you set the rules. Always. If you are sick of that analogy, say so. She'll probably laugh as she would have used it a million times. My doc has one about a broken leg that drove me crazy until I jumped down his throat. Now he tries to vary them.
Never be afraid to say what you think to a therapist or doc. In fact if you don't they may not be able to help. They need all the help you can give them you know.
Posted 25 July 2008 - 05:46 PM
edited to add: reading the replies make me SO glad to have found these forums! It's amazing to read thoughts from those that have btdt! Thanks for the insight!
Edited by kaece, 25 July 2008 - 05:48 PM.
Posted 26 July 2008 - 04:25 PM
professional counseling I sought.
Many social issues, mind in turmoil,
left me so distraught.
Many, many sessions.
over extended period of time;
Seemed not to help ease
my burdened mind.
Poorly thought out decisions
and actions I made;
My life unraveled around me,
my thoughts went astray.
I divulged my life story,
my feelings, my thoughts;
To someone I trusted,
this counselor I sought.
What a fool I was,
so gullible, no naive;
His advice for me,
a mistake to believe.
Self worth and esteem,
you cannot buy;
So difficult to attain,
no matter how much you try.
This friend's words,
just tricks of his trade;
Ultimatly I realized,
it was just a charade.
Finally I left,
in much despair;
My burdened mind,
Posted 26 July 2008 - 04:51 PM
I can tell you that it took me a long time to feel like I was getting anywhere because I personally could not open up to the therapists that I was talking to. Even if they are great, they may not work for everyone...
Please remember that you can talk about stuff that is bothering you on the boards as well and that may help... Good luck and if you need to chat, feel free to write to me.
Posted 27 July 2008 - 09:27 AM
So I've just been shut off from counseling until I find a better one. You know, someone who actually gives a flying fark.
Posted 27 July 2008 - 04:25 PM
there not all the same, believe me when i say this if after the first few sessions something doesnt feel right, quit and find someone else.
The point here is they cannot make you feel comfortable and also make you feel like you want to go back, there no good at their job either.
most of there training is studying relationships so if they cant strike up a reasonable one withyourself sack em.and exploring deeper feelings from our past should only be done when the client feels he or she wants to share these experiences, when an old wound is opened up its important that the therapist can make it happen in bite size chunks and not leave the client retraumatised. in the wrong hands this a bit of knowledge is dangerous thats why i think councilors and not a psychotherapist with appropriate degree and accredited training afterwards are mostly useless, because you normally find their trying to meet their own needs through the client anyway, the bases of therapy is so that tranference can be examined by the therapist and then healing can start to take place.
Counseling was always horrible for me because my "counselor/psychiatrist" was a patronizing, condescending a-hole. He sure didn't make it any better.
heres my point it only takes a jerk like that to make matters worse it must have been awful
a brilliant poem by the way, i do think self worth and self esteem are the result of successful relationships.
Posted 27 July 2008 - 06:59 PM
However, just because some one is licensed does not make the psychotherapist an effective healer. I agree with Simonb on this point. In fact, there are a whole lot of terrible therapists out there. There are some stories of that on the DF forums. I guess you gotta look around or if you can, get a recommendation from some one you trust.
There are so many different kinds of therapists, also, and one kind of therapy may be right for you whereas another is not. I think the least effective therapy is when you just talk and the therapist sits and listens. So you vent for awhile while in session and temporarily feel better, but have no breakthroughs.
On the whole, though, I think therapy is effective and well worth it.
The one thing therapists never do is let you know when you're done. Has anyone else noticed that? I asked a therapist once and they gave me a vague answer like "well, it's like an onion, that has many layers". I would like to know when I'm done, because it costs money. A therapist one time had a goal-treatment sheet which I appreciated to give an idea for how much progress was made.
The only way that therapy has been detrimental for me was that I blamed my parents a lot for the things that happened since my depression is mostly childhood based. I am learning to forgive my folks and move on.
Anyways, I've digressed a bit.
C. Heart, I hope you find some healing, peace, and strength in therapy. I hope you find the appropriate therapy and therapist and stick with it so you feel better.
Stay aware, in present moment, practice mindfullness *Accept what is * Be gentle with yourself * Don't take thoughts so seriously * Question thoughts * Don't suppress thoughts or feelings, allow them to be *Don't oppose, judge, or label thoughts, just acknowledge they are there * Stay focused on the heart * And the lifeforce * Take time to meditate * Don't take things personally * Create a space* Release old programs * Eat healthily * Exercise * Lighten up and laugh
Keep on keepin' on.
Posted 27 July 2008 - 07:10 PM
hopefully when i get another appt it will be easier but my problem is that i really struggle to let my guard down, i cannot talk about my feelings at all. someone suggested to me to write my feelings down. i might try that next time.
Posted 28 July 2008 - 12:39 PM
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