- No one should be alone in this. We can help.
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Who are You?
#1
Posted 08 July 2004 - 03:18 AM
Because of the wide range of people who visit DF please keep the topics clean.
Welcome!
lizzy
Hi - I'm Lizzy aged 50. I live in the UK. I have a supportive GP and a good husband. We own our home, which has a good sized garden which is my current passion. It's full of vegies, fruit trees, shrubs and climbers; and still we go to garden centres, plant fairs etc. just in case there is a plant I really need to have :-)))))
When stressed I suffer with OCD and it manifests itself by repeated hand washing, checking doors and windows are locked and picking up the land line to see if there are messages on the BT answer service. I try to control it by making lists so that I can 'tick' off the times I need to wash my hands i.e. before preparing food and can then try to distract myself from the compulsion by walking round the garden.
I joined DF 12 months ago when looking for info on withdrawing from Efexor. I know take Cipralex which I have talked about elsehwhere. I have found sympathy, support, advice and friendship here
:wave:
Any change is scary even when we want it
#2
Posted 20 March 2005 - 01:24 PM
Do you have a good GP? One you can talk to? One who takes time to listen?
This is about YOU - not your parents or your boyfriend. Just because he doesn't want you to take ADs doesn't mean you have to obey him. OCD is your bag - not his although his life will be affected by it. Short term ADs help many people through many situations. I suggest you speak to your practice nurse and then begin the tablets. You need help right now and lifting your mood will help you get motivated to hobbies/outings/enjoyment....... side effects can be difficult to deal with but few people become addicted - because our doctors regulate what and how many we take.
Look after YOU. If you will benefit from ADs then take them. Don't let your boyfriend control you; think about any other areas he controls too and decide thatyou are going to take control of your life. You have to live with this illness and if ADs are the way for you then go with it.
Keep posting.
:wave:
Any change is scary even when we want it
#3
Posted 20 March 2005 - 09:13 AM

I have GAD. I worry about everything, lol!
#4
Posted 20 March 2005 - 09:01 AM
I had ocd when i was about 11 to 13 but i saw someone about it and went on prozac, and now i'm having a bit of a relapse at 15.
For some reason i cant start a new topic, so hopefully someone will see this and message back, but i've been in a bit of a dilema because of my ocd coming back again.
I'm coming to the end of my gcses, which means i'm under stress and pressure, so when i saw something at school i probably shouldnt have, i started feeling the obsessions creeping back in. I kept it to myself and 1 or 2 friends until a week ago, when i couldnt deal with feeling so low anymore and i could tell the ocd wasnt going away like i'd hoped it would. My boyfriend tried to offer other solutions to keep my mind busy and creative so i would be doing something productive, but i didnt see how anything would help and wanted to go back on the drugs i was taking before.
I finally plucked up the courage to ask my mum if this would be possible and explained everything that had happened to make the ocd come back, and she said she'd see what she could do.
FINALLY she managed to book an appointment and get hold of the tablets, but my boyfriend was concerned as he didnt like the idea of me taking them, and i was getting more and more worried about taking them too. Part of me kept reminding myself how bad i feel when i get down, and the other part didnt want to go back into it all again, and to try something more natural.
My parents were quite surprised when i asked if i could leave taking the tablets for a few days until i spoke to my boyfriend, and got concerned that he'd try and change my mind.
In the end i was in between them telling me it would be best to take them as soon as possible, and my boyfriend mike being worried about side effects, addiction etc (which i had considered too). I had to decide what i wanted to do, which was swaying over to not taking them, but then have to explain to my parents why not. I dont want to take them just because my parents said so, or not take them because mike is concerned.
Does anyone know of any ways to help cope with the depression side of ocd apart from taking anti depressants? I'd much rather avoid going back onthem if i possibly can, although they are there if i decide i want to.
I'd be grateful for suggestions and advice :)
Take care
-Bethxxx-
#5
Posted 13 July 2004 - 03:43 AM
I will turn 26 years this autumn. I come from a smaller european country. I like applied arts (drawing, photography, restoring, literature, interior design, you name it...) and I'm interested in different cultures, languages, art therapy and puppetry, to name a few.
I someday wish to have a wooden house with a pond and a nice job, possibly connected with areas above.
I' ve been suffering from depression (I suspect it is an organic one) for 2 years, combined with xl anxiety and OCD. I have supportive family and boyfriend.
I joined DF some months ago and I wish I'd find it sooner. They are all very nice here! I take paxil (seroxat) and at the time trying to go completely off xanax xr.
:wave:
(Edgar Allan Poe)
#6
Posted 13 July 2004 - 05:08 AM
I am a bit of a computer nerd and will be found here most if nbot all days of the week. I love my music and also reading. I have a bit of a naughty sense of humour
I look forward to catching uop with everyone old and new at our new home.
Guppy :love:
#7
Posted 03 October 2004 - 02:38 PM
and the history books forgot about us, and the bible didnt mention us, not even once.
#8
Posted 06 June 2005 - 03:53 AM
You are not alone :wave: You have a big responsibility. No one is perfect and your baby won't expect it. All he/she needs is warmth, security, a full belly, comfy bum and love. Room to grow. But we see danger in every corner, round every bend ..... I did for our cats and my spaniel so being a mum would have been a nightmare!
How old is the baby? Do you have a good Health Visitor?
Any change is scary even when we want it
#10
Posted 19 July 2004 - 05:10 PM
Newho, my name is michael and im from ireland, specifically northern Ireland, so technically im from ireland and the UK, so oddly enough i can be considered Irish and British!! lol, but i think of myself as an Irish European! HOOO RAY!!!
newho, i live in the country side (kind of) and i love it, im moving to Belfast (im sure you've heard of it, lol) next year to go to Queen University!! scarey, but there you go. Ive only started to get help for my OCD, but im very glad i have!! ive hinted to my family that i have it, but never REALLY told them, so they dpont know how serious it is!
newho, since ive finally got my account to work, im off to post on some other boards!!
#11
Posted 20 July 2004 - 06:34 AM
Any change is scary even when we want it
#12
Posted 22 July 2004 - 08:30 PM
I've known - or strongly suspect that I have OCD, but I'm not the ritual kind of OCD'er, my obsessions are largely thought based. I also suffer from depression, for which I take wellbutrin.
I'm ashamed to admit this cos no-one understands but I'm a jealously obsessive person, I'm always thinking that my husband will cheat on me, or that he doesn't want me, - he wants anyone but me, after all i feel I am no oil painting as my mother once told me.
I also am extremely afraid of dying a horrible death, i imagine myself lying in a ditch somewhere after a horrible death, then I'm compelled to think 'I'm sorry Dear Lord, please look after me, I'm sorry etc for a number of times. My husband is getting fed up with me, he says i'm constantly badgering him, and I have to admit its true. Its like something I can't stop, the thoughts of him wanting to/cheating/wanting anyone but me are totally and utterly uncontrollable, and the compulsion to say something to him about it is overwhelming.
The only way I can keep from going on at him is to sit in a different room now.
I've been on paxil - which seemed to help the depression and OCD (if that is what it is) but i gained a heck of a lot of weight and it also made me very agressive, I would not hesitate to pick a fight with anyone (and thats not normally me).
My doc has told me to start taking 5mg of lexapro, he knows my weight gain concerns with SSRI's and has told me that with wellbutrin I'm already taking I should not gain that much if at all.
My husband told me tonight I need 'something more than drugs'. It hurt.
He's right, I wouldn't want to be married to me either.
i hope someone understands, I'm so ashamed to have this type of OCD.
i've tried counselling but after a year, i stopped because I felt that that wasn't helping at all. My behaviour is too ingrained.
#13
Posted 23 July 2004 - 06:37 AM
What does you husband feel that you need? Therapy can help us to download our problems so that they are out of our heads but the sessions don't always solve things.
Many people are ashamed of being seen as 'not normal'. But you have a condition which is very common across the Western World. Post here and you will soon see that you are not alone!
Any change is scary even when we want it
#14
Posted 28 July 2004 - 05:27 PM
My name's Peter, I'm 28, and I'm in North Carolina, USA. I was diagnosed with OCD within the past year after far, far, far too many years of living in the dark.
It's great to know that I'm not alone in this. Unfortunately, my wife just doesn't "get it." She can't seem to understand what its like, so here I am. heh We've been married for almost 8 years now and have a wonderful 4 year old daughter. Kids and OCD don't exactly mix, as I've learned. Its been a tough road, but I'm pulling through, one day at a time.
Its great to meet y'all.
/hugs
#15
Posted 24 July 2004 - 09:49 PM
#16
Posted 06 June 2005 - 12:07 AM
J.
#17
Posted 29 July 2004 - 03:24 AM
I'm a great list maker I find it helps to be able to cross off compulsions and that forces me to do something else. Unless my stress levels are really 'up' then I have to stick with the checking doors are locked and washing hands until things are calmer.
Keep posting!
Any change is scary even when we want it
#18
Posted 29 July 2004 - 06:50 AM
Nope, no celtic connections. Just something that I found on-line years ago and liked. Knotwork fascinates me. Intricate, repeating patterns...hmmmm. lol.
#19
Guest_Parsnips_*
Posted 02 August 2004 - 05:44 PM
I cant really remember not having OCD. I started seeing a psychologist when I was about 14 after my parents got so sad/annoyed by me stratigically moving things around the house that it was a case of take me to see someone or we all go crazy! I saw the psychologist for around 4 years and was on Prozac. Now I dont see anyone or take medication but I still have compulsions everyday. Some days are better than others (as we all know)
My main compulsions are
Checking that lids and bottle tops are on, over and over again, just incase something falls out or spills.
Undoing and doing up zips on clothing, bags etc (have ruined a few pairs of jeans this way!
Flicking on and off the light switch in my bedroom to check that it is off. Flicking plug switches.
Checking that my alarm is set continuously, incase I get up late, checking that my phone is locked.
Checking that doors, windows are locked, several times
Constantly checking rooms before I leave them incase something needs to be shut or moved into the right place
Thank You for listening! It is so nice to talk openly about things wihout being judged x x x
#20
Posted 03 August 2004 - 03:54 AM
I find that my compulsions are worse when stressed. So I make a list of all the times I should be washing my hands or checking doors so that I can tick them off. Then if I do 'extra' checking I try to divert my thoughts to a walk round the garden, feed the fish, sniff a rose ...... sometimes it even works :D
Well done on completing your Course. You must feel well chuffed!
Keep joining in!
Any change is scary even when we want it
#21
Posted 05 August 2004 - 10:00 PM
By the time I hit 21 I was in such severe mental pain (several recurrent fears/obsessions) that I Google'd for the phrase "bad thoughts" and finally found out the name of my disorder. Every single thing was confirmed, down to the last detail, that I never could explain in my behavior earlier.
This sad period in my life coincided with another trauma in my life, an extremely painful breakup with a girl that unleashed my obsessions in full force.
I started therapy and treatment and was determined to do everything to help and cure myself. My family has been very supportive ever since but I think they still don't fully understand how serious this disorder is. My sister has it too, so it runs in the family.
Anyway, I'm glad to say the last couple of years have been very good, I've been successfully taking Luvox, opening myself up to new people and new things, and I sincerely hope this nightmare is now behind me, although an obsession might pop up now and then. The main problem now for me is anxiety, including social anxiety. I hope to make even more strides and become a much calmer, more relaxed person in general.
#22
Posted 06 August 2004 - 03:12 AM
It's nice to know that there is help out there to help with compulsions and obsessions. I think each of us finds coping skills which work on a daily basis: until we get extra stess in our lives. I make lists which I find useful when I begin hand washing and checking doors.
Have a browse round DF and i'm sure you will find threads you can join in with. :wave:
Any change is scary even when we want it
#23
Posted 06 August 2004 - 01:01 PM
I've been married since 1972, have a 31 year old son, and a granddaughter who starts to school in September. My background is 30 years in Information Technology. I officially retired in 1999 and then did some consulting work for awhile.
My OCD manifests itself in checking and re-checking, reading and re-reading, making lists, having obsessive thoughts, and a variety of other compulsions. I've been through OCD therapy and have taken Prozac for it. As much as I love my husband and his unfailing support, he's an enabler. I've tried to get him to stop it, but I don't want to hurt his feelings.
I'm glad I found this room.
#24
Posted 06 August 2004 - 01:23 PM
You'll find lots of caring and support here, darlin'!
~Lindsay
~Lindsay ღ , Forum Super Administrator
Founder, depressionforums.org
"One person can make a difference through their seemingly small actions" ~Unknown
"To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived". ~ Bessie Stanley
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#25
Posted 07 August 2004 - 06:46 AM
"As much as I love my husband and his unfailing support, he's an enabler. I've tried to get him to stop it, but I don't want to hurt his feelings........ "
can you explain this? So long as my husband supports me, we can work round the problems. It isn't always easy but so far he has stood by me: he's been my rock. Other so-called friends have walked away ..........
:(
How would you cope without your husband around? How would it be different?
Any change is scary even when we want it
#26
Posted 07 August 2004 - 08:02 AM
It has nothing to do with his being around. I would absolutely perish without him.
#27
Posted 07 August 2004 - 02:45 PM
Any change is scary even when we want it
#28
Posted 27 August 2004 - 02:41 AM
It seems you manage to 'grow out' of your phobias; all of your problems seem rational to me in that they are related to age. Things that bother people prone to phobic reaction more than the 'normal' person.
We have threads on vomit phobia; talking to ourselves; singing in our heads ....... if you browse through the different rooms you will find people with similar problems. Very few people are actually weird or freaky unless it is drug induced!
Keep reading and posting. It's nice to have you on board.
Any change is scary even when we want it
#30
Posted 23 August 2004 - 10:02 PM
my name is cass and i've had ocd for as long as i can remember. it started around the age of 13 and it's been a struggle ever since. i am able to control it around people but when i'm alone it can be pretty bad. thankfully my mom has it too so she can relate. i've tried explaining it to people who are close to me and it seems like they just can't wrap their minds around it. my ocd consists of repeating actions over and over for fear that something bad will happen if i don't. i don't worry about hurting anyone. i'm mostly afraid something bad will happen to me. most often, it's that i'll get into a car accident or someone will break into my house and **** me. when i type it, it sounds rediculous but i have to repeat things over and over to keep bad things from happening. like, flicking switches on and off, or putting a glass down on a table, or taking my hand off of something like a door knob after i've closed a door. sometimes i blink in certain patterns or have to turn in a clockwise circle in the shower. when i see anything in the shape of a square i have to look at it from the top to bottom, left to right pattern four times. there are other super awesome things that i have to do every day but won't mention them all because i'm sure you all can relate. believe it or not i don't take any meds. i just live with it every day. sometimes i can hide it and sometimes i can't. i'm not afraid if the side effects or anything. what really scares me is being worse off if i ever have to go off of the meds.
also, my 7 year old son has had severe ocd since he was around 2. he used to line up his toys or our cd's in patterns and shapes and never played with them. he's tried almost every med you can think of but none seem to help much. he is currently taking prozac and risperdal. it seems that the combo has actually made it worse. his ocd consists of pretty much what mine consists of but he also says "o.k." "o.k." very loudly over and over about 8 times and has physical gestures mostly with his fingers and mouth sounds that he does constantly. and i mean unrelentingly constant. from the time he wakes up to the time he goes to sleep.
it breaks my heart because i understand exactly what he is feeling and there's nothing i can do except wait for the meds to start working in a few months or not at all.
anyway, i'm so glad i found this site. i'm hoping to get some useful info and it's nice to be in the company of people who can relate.
cass
#31
Posted 24 August 2004 - 03:52 AM
I find stress makes my compulsions worse so I make lists - when the actions are ticked I try to do another task even if it's just a walk round the garden.
Join in - you are amongst friends :wave:
Any change is scary even when we want it
#32
Posted 24 August 2004 - 09:01 PM
do you have any suggestions or ideas about his meds situation?
cass
#33
Posted 24 August 2004 - 09:53 PM
thanks,
cass
#34
Posted 25 August 2004 - 03:52 AM
Any change is scary even when we want it
#35
Posted 26 August 2004 - 05:53 PM
As for my OCD, I have apparently manifested symptoms my whole life. My mother said that when I was an infant and toddler, I was absolutely terrified of loud noises, such as blenders, vaccuum cleaners, and washing machines. When I was three, the phobias switched to fears of ants and flies. After a while, that faded, and by the time I was six, I was <i>terrified</i> of vomit. Not fearful of getting sick myself, but fearful of seeing others be sick. Looking back on it now, I see that it was very irrational, and sort of silly, but I just couldn't help it. Whenever someone said they didn't feel well, I would get very nervous, and ask them repeatedly if they were going to be sick. I would get so worried and anxious, I would practically make <i>myself</i> ill. The teachers at my school thought this was funny, and started calling me "Nurse Whitney", not realizing that this really upset me, and made me feel ashamed of myself. At school, the issues with my OCD combined with my toe-walking made me an easy target for the other kids to make fun of. Aside from a few friends, I tried not to associate with anyone at school. The vomit phobia faded by the time I was in fifth grade, and was replaced by a new fear --severe weather and tornadoes. Out of all my fears, I think this might be the most tangible, considering I live in Iowa, and tornadoes are pretty common here. Anyway, this fear followed me through junior high. At this point, I had stopped caring about school all together, and preferred just to stay home, mostly under the pretense of being sick. I became depressed, and often thought about ******* myself. I was put on Zoloft to help with my anxiety attacks and to help manage the phobia, and have been taking it ever since; it really seems to help me manage the anxieties better. I was also put on Lithium for the depression.
By the time I was in high school, the depression had gone away, and dealing with my OCD was somewhat better, I still had the phobia, but the school nurse was a very kind understanding woman who understood about OCD, and let me spend as much time there as I needed when I was feeling anxious or nervous whenever there was bad weather outside. Sometime around my junior year in high school, just when I was starting to feel "normal", I developed Irritable Bowel Syndrome, and had a good friend get killed in a car/semi accident. After my friend was killed, I developed an intense fear of semis, and being in a car on the interstate (she was killed on the interstate, when she hydroplaned across the median, and was hit head-on by a semi). Due to this new fear, I refused to drive, or to get my permit/license.
I graduated high school a little over two years ago, shortly before my 18th birthday. Since then, I am proud to say that I am no longer taking Lithium, and the semi/driving fear is no longer a big issue with me. The severe weather issue also seems to be bothering me less and less. I can even go out and go to school on days when we're supposed to have bad weather, and I could <i>never</i> do that before. It might sound like a silly thing to be proud of, but I am. That was a huge step for me. I still don't have my driver's license or permit yet, and I'm kind of embarrassed about that, but I'm afraid to drive became I worry that I'll get into an accident, and hurt someone. I know rationally that that is the phobia talking, but I still can't help it.
I've also noticed lately, I'll have conversations with people in my head. I am <b>NOT</b> hearing voices in my head, I just imagine conversations between myself and other people. I don't know if that's "normal" or not for people afflicted with OCD. Also, sometimes I have thoughts like, "if I don't do this one small menial thing, then something bad will happen." Is that an OCD-related thought, too?
Also, more recently, I've found that my severe weather fear seems to be fading almost, and I'm starting to worry about something new: my house being broken into, and me and my family being hurt or killed. I know that it's not a logical thought, or something I should focus so much on, but I just can't seem to help it, with the way the "OCD tape" plays in my head.
Talking to a therapist helps, but I'm so happy to have found this board, to see that I can talk to other people that are going through the same things I am, and can really understand what OCD is like. I now really realize that I'm not the only one that suffers with this, that I'm not alone, and I just feel so relieved, and not as ashamed and self-conscious about it as I did before. Thank you so much for showing me I'm not alone. I've spent the last few days reading through the archive, seeing aspects of my OCD in others, and realizing that I'm not weird or a freak or anything. It sounds stupid, but I feel like reading about everyone else has helped me. So, thank you. :)
And thank you to anyone who read the whole way through this. Even if I don't get any responses, just writing this all out made me feel a little better. I've never talked about this with anyone aside from my doctors, my family, and two or three friends. I'm glad to see that there is a place out there for someone like me. Thank you. :)
- Whitney.
#36
Posted 10 March 2005 - 05:17 AM
If you feel suicidal because of your problems then seek therapy. Contact your doctor or ER for advice and support. Just talking helps! Keep posting here!
How old are you? Where do you hail from? Have a browse through the OCD room and add your comments to our threads.
Any change is scary even when we want it
#37
Posted 02 June 2005 - 09:48 AM
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Hi!
I'm 58 years old and live in the UK. Have suffered with ocd since I don't know when. But I THINK it started from when I lived in an apartment and I locked myself out of the house. I had to go down to the agent who handled the property, I explained what had happened and she came up and opened the door for me.
Since then I have been treble checking, the keys in my pocket, the doors' are locked and everything to do with the safety and security of the house and car. The treble checking is repeated and repeated if I make a slight mistake in counting until I am happy. I dream quite reguarly that my car is stolen but I have never dreamed of the house being burgled
Trying to leave the house or car is a major problem.
--------------
"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams.
Live the life you have imagined."
Posted: Jan. 03 2005,11:34
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Hi Panic! I'm just 51 and live in Northants. If I find myself checking too often I write a list and tick off when I need to do it: then take a walk round my garden to try and distnace myself from the compulsion. It can soooo easily get out of hand
If you stop counting nothing bad will happen: you might get a lot of physical anxiety feelings which can be awful. If you can overcome those feelings - I use a beta-blocka each night to calm my heart rate - you will find that the counting will mean less to you.
It's having the courage to change the bad habit!
Posted: Jan. 03 2005,14:25
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Hi Lizzy! Thanks for your reply. I actually live in Gloucestershire. Did you see a programme on TV last night at 8pm all about OCD. I think it was on either ch.4 or 5 or it may have been on Sky. Since I've been taking Seroxat my memory has gone. Anyway I've gone one step forward, this morning after brushing my teeth, I managed to close the toothpaste tube and put it away without checking that it was closed.
Panic
--------------
"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams.
Live the life you have imagined."
Posted: Jan. 04 2005,08:16
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And how have you felt since? Any anxiety ? Big pat on the back and no I missed the OCD programme after deciding I would video it. No doubt it will be repeated ....
PS - PANIC - I have started you a thread below ........
Any change is scary even when we want it
#38
Posted 03 June 2005 - 02:46 AM
Any change is scary even when we want it
#39
Posted 16 September 2004 - 11:37 PM
Thank goodness I have a wonderful husband who supports me. I hope to talk with all of you soon. :p
Suzie
#40
Posted 17 September 2004 - 08:07 AM
Browse through the forum and join in. You'll find lots of support and help here. Thank goodness for Supportive Husbands! :wave: s to hubby!
Any change is scary even when we want it
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