i was feeling anxious as it is this morning. i had to take a .5 xanax. and then on top of it all my 9 month old son is screaming at the top of his lungs for the last 45 minutes. i am now starting to feel my anxiety coming up even though i took the xanax. i cant take it. he is so attached me and wants me to hold him all day. i am trying to let him scream it out in his playpen but it is so hard to listen to the screaming and crying. how am i suppose to get better when i am not given a chance. i just dont feel like i can get better with two needy kids in the house. as soon as i feel a little better the kids act up which in turn acts up my anxiety and panic. advice from mothers out there.

Oh boy. This is a tough one. I remember my son crying and crying when he was a baby and him not stopping no matter what I did. Finally I sat down and cried with him. I don't know that I have an answer. Having 2 little ones is so-o-o-o-o stressful. Where is dad? Can he take over for a while? I'm kind of guessing that if that were an option you would already have taken it. Can you call a baby sitter? A relative? And get out of the house for a few hours to give yourself a break? Right now I'd try to call in reinforcements if you have any - even a friend who can come over and help you deal with the kids or give you support.

I agree that you have to let your son get used to you not holding him all the time, but listening to them scream is unnerving. Giving in to his demands to be held won't help either of you, though. Kids don't care how bad we feel. They are completely egocentric. Me! Now!

I know it doesn't help today, but does your church have a mother's day out? Someway you can plan to have some "me" time? Try to think of ways to give yourself breaks from the kids as often as you can. It doesn't mean you don't love them. It just means you need a break.


ks

thank god for my mother. i called her crying and she came over and took the kids out. my husband is out playing golf and should be home soon and usually he takes the morning off and i get the afternoon off. except as my son is getting older he is getting harder to handle especially when i am not feeling my best. now i am alone and i dont know if that is a good thing either because when i am feeling down and anxious i just want some company but company without the kids around. it seems like whenever i do have that company i am running after kids the whole time so i dont get much out of it. i cant even begin to explain how hard it is to go through depression, anxiety and panic when there are two young babies at home. one being 3 and the other 9 months. my three old is also a handful.......into everything and creating havoc with whatever she gets into. boy i have to say this time in my life is such a challenge. i just keep praying for some type of a break here and i mean mentally more than physically.

Is there any way you can arrange for a girl's night out with friends? Your husband or someone else keeps the kids and you get to have some adult conversation?

ks

right now it is hard for me to be around anybody or go anywhere because i am so anxious that i am scared i am going to lose it when i am out. this i think is also the depression. i dont consider myself agoraphobic because i do go out but lately my anxiety has been so bad that i am almost scared to go anywhere in fear of having a panic attack or going crazy. i am just losing hope in these meds. there are moments when i feel okay but for the most part in this last two weeks the anxiety has taken over my life. it is now one week that i have been on lexapro 20mg and i just cant seem to get a grip on myself. i keep asking , "am i going to ever feel better." the more i read on this forum the more confused i get. because some people get better while others are still suffering. i just need to hear some positive stories.

Lexapro may or may not turn out to be the drug that helps you, but the more we give in to our anxiety, the more it rules us. You will not go crazy outside the house, though you might have an panic attack. That's a really scary thought, isn't it? Before getting out of your house becomes even more difficult, you need to practice getting out of the house. If being around people is too scary right now, let your husband keep the kids and go for a walk. It IS possible to get over what you're feeling. I may have suggested the book, "Don't Panic" to you before - I can't remember. It's available on Amazon.com. It's a very easy read - not heavy reading at all - and very helpful in dealing with anxiety and panic attacks. I went through a very bad period of anxiety and panic attacks a couple of years ago and was worried that I was becoming agoraphobic. I was determined not to let that happen. Providentially, I found the book at Barnes & Noble and it has helped me enormously. It gives you simple exercises to do to help you work through your anxiety. You are not pushed to do something that you don't feel that you can do. It's a very gentle approach. I hope you'll get a copy. I think it will help.


ks

My heart goes out to you. My kids were all very young and trying to get through a day was trying, at times. I kept much of the work down by keeping a simple household so there was nothing for them to get into, lol! I think they toys took over; it was a house with three little kids!!

Maybe if you put your son in daycare, he'd get over the clinginess. I had mine with a sitter who was a relative, and they seemed to do fine while I was at work. I guess kids adjust to different situations. You might also try a baby seat that he stands up in and move him around to where you are and see if that doesn't help you out.

Keep it simple. No use in making your life harder than it has to be. I babyproofed my house and put a gate over the steps and let them roam around all they wanted to. I kept their toys in the playpen. When they started to get on my nerves, I put a comforter on the floor and a disney movie in and we ALL took a nap... Whenever they hear the music from 'Beauty And The Beast', the all start yawning!!

My youngest will be 11 in a couple of days and she's more clingy than the other two were even at this age. I know that someday, she'll stop and I sure will miss it. Babies go through all these different stages really fast, and they're on to something else. I kept reminding myself that, "THis too shall pass', when they went through the hollaring stage when they didn't get their way. The problem was that I had two who were 18mo. apart and when one would get through it, the next one would start!!

Sometimes it's lots easier to put them in the car and go for a visit or ride if they're crabby. It kind of entertains them or puts them to sleep. It's always nice to visit another Mother, too. They understand what you're going though and you can trade war stories.

Jackie

KS, sometimes, this is all you can do and it actually helps.

Confusedandscared......being the mother of a baby can be sooooo overwhelming sometimes. My oldest daughter had colic. My mom was unable to help me because she was taking care of my sick dad. So, give your mom a big hug and kiss. I think that at times like that, we find out that our moms are our best friends, too. I sure hope things lighten up for you.

How are you today C&S? I hope today is a better day for you. Let us know how you're doing.


ks

well i went out last night to a friends party and remarkably i had a good time. somehow it just got my mind off of myself. it was really nice being around people. my mom and dad kept the kids overnight so myhusband and i got to sleep in which was a treat. i feel ok today..........so far not so anxious but that could also be because the kids arent here and it is quiet and peaceful. it is interesting because i noticed today that i dont really feel depression because i can get right out of bed and do the things i need to do but i also dont have that zest for life. i am assuming that will come at some point but for now i am just talking things one hour at a time. just getting through my day till my doctors appointment tomorrow. i have never seen a psychiatrist so this will be the first time and i am hoping she will have some answers for me. till now my gyn has been helping me cope with this. but this week i realized i need to see someone who actually specializes in these types of disorders. it seemed like my gyn was all out of answers when i called him this week in a state of panic. i dont blame him he just doesnt know. i pray that i have a decent day and if it is a good i will be so thankful.

Let us know how your visit with the psychiatrist goes.


ks

C.A.S,

Sorry to hear that your kids played up yesterday,but good that your mum came over and the stressors were taken from you for a while.

Great that you had a good time at the party too,something to take your mind off things for a while,and also some timeout from the kids would of let you and your husbamd un-wind a bit.
I hope your appointent with the psychiatrist goes well and he/she can point you in the right direction from here.

Let us know how it goes and good luck.

SO6