Platinum Member
  • Content count

  • Joined

  • Last visited

About vega57

  • Rank
  • Birthday 10/04/1957

Contact Methods

  • Website URL
  • ICQ

Profile Information

  • Gender
  • Location
    southern Cal east corner of state, Coachella Valley
  • Interests
    This forum, learning more about my illness, computers, my family and wife, reading, helping others, studying scripture, driving my "82 Chevy truck with my grand kids as passengers. Update:I'm have gotten back into bike riding, for about four years now and am getting reading to do the 100 mile charity ride, The Tour of Palm Springs.

Recent Profile Visitors

1,281 profile views
  1. Today my brother who was a police officer in palm Springs, ca. Was shot and killed at 3.15 pm. His name was Gilbert Vega, had been an officer for 35 years, 5 years past retirement, he did so because he loved his job and serving the community. Today was his day off but being the awesome officer that he was he responded with called. He and two other officers responded to a domestic call. The female officer also died, the third officer survived. He was due to retire this December. Please follow the news.
  2. Lol. Those are the places I was talking about, not to say it might not turn out good but they are a bit to relaxing inhibitions can go away. Relationships can be like bugs on your windshield, sometimes you find one, two and sometimes you find more. You are goingabout it the wise way. You already have quite a few features in the game.
  3. Oj first I'm really sorry about your suicidal thoughts, especially if they were serious so please be careful about not letting those thoughts go to far. Get help asap if need be. I just turned 59 today, met my wife in early 79 and we're married in 80, or there abouts. Lol. Let's just say it's many years now and mostly good and wonderful years but there were rough patches along the way. I give you this info for a reason: be patient. I know you probably think you're an old man when it comes finding your wife or at least a wonderful woman to have a bases for a long and loving relationship but you aren't. You have just reached the age of maturity for most males. You are are way ahead of the game with your home and other necessary things needed, I wished I had this BEFORE I got married but most couples do just the opposite. A good friendship should be the base of a great relationship, most don't fall in love at first site; love grows and matures with time, just like a beautiful flower. It needs time to blossom. If have feelings for your friend you should let her know so you know where you stand. If she doesn't reciprocate those feelings you will have a good friend in your life and you can look else where. There's nothing wrong with looking Oj, if you don't look you'll never find. I would advise staying away from certain places but do go to places you enjoy and can relax and talk to females. Looking for a possible spouse involves selling your wares, they want to know what type of person you are.
  4. I believe the song by CCR I'm referring to is Up Around the Bend or similar.
  5. The one important thing I will tell you that at least for me prozac made me feel way to well which is unnatural. Nothing bothered me and even though I felt no depression I felt very detached from my emotions, feelings, nothing and I mean nothing bothered me one iota. The way i explained it is that I could probably be in the middle of a burning building and there would be no panic, no worries. That's what I mean by feeling to well but I must stress that's how I felt. Hope it works well for you.
  6. I live in the high desert, at least till next week. At times the wind blows extremely hard in fact it can be dangerous. Anyway when the winds stop you see people washing off the dust from their cars; a few days ago that's what I was doing when a song by CCR (anyone here know who this is, or was) it immediately brought back some paradoxical memories. Sadly I can't remember which song it was. Lol.
  7. 8Unfortunately I listen to the same thing everyday: the ringing in my ears but being finally to sit in the back yard, see the mountains and hear nature is soothing. The heat is lessening now and beautiful days are ahead to enjoy the desert. Unfortunately my wife and I are moving back into what I the city cause I live in the high desert; we are moving to a gated stupid country club which I despise. No more open spaces and being so close to nature, enjoying the wind but I have to keep the wife happy. No I'll hear the cars, to much people noise and way to many of them. What I won't hear anymore are the laughter of my two grandkids; I just don't know why I agreed to give up a slice of heaven for the noise of the city. I hope my depression doesn't worsen. But at least I'll be taking my ringing in the ears with me. Lol. Honestly I've been feeling much anxiety since we planned to move.
  8. Gray with a bit of yellow. Good enough.
  9. Actually it probably makes you feel safe in a weird way which is not so weird. Maybe at least this way you know for sure that there is SOMETHING tangible even if it's mental illness. For a period of time my doctor kept saying that there was definitely something wrong with my heart but the tests weren't able to pin point then it happened, I had a heart attack. Finally they actually found something, no longer was it only in my head exacerbated by my MI. Maybe this gives some level of comfort.
  10. Unfortunately I listen to the same thing everyday: the ringing in my ears but being finally to sit in the back yard, see the mountains and hear nature is soothing. The heat is lessening now and beautiful days are ahead to enjoy the desert.
  11. Unfortunately yes. Death in my family seems on going. The "trick" is to figure out how you continue to live but not as a ghost. One thing I will tell you and it's not a revelation I'm sure but you children should not go before the parents, especially not in multiples. So I must continue to trick myself to go on as we all must.
  12. I want to make one thing clear before I continue: everything I post here is from a mental health point of view but this very personal to say theleast. I have 6 children, 5 girls, one son, all adults and I love them all very much. My 25 year old daughter needed a break so she asked us to watch her children while she went out to dinner with her friend Chris; her husband is currently working in Hawaii but due back in 2 days if my daughter isn't home by then. She left Monday evening and hasn't returned, we kept getting texts but no calls that she was on her way home but unfortunately she has not returned. We really don't know what has happened to her, does she more time alone, which is what we are hoping and praying for or something else. I received a call today from law enforcement that they had possibly found her van by one of my other daughter's job but luckily or unfortunately it wasn't hers. She has 3 children and has a slight learning disability and is a bit deaf plus she very trusting. My wife is besides herself with grief, along with this her sister is dying of cancer. I can barely hold myself together, my other children and family are out looking for her. As some of you know I live in an area of vast desert with many canyons where people can be. I don't know what'shappened to her but I'm keeping the faith that tomorrow she'll be home. Please think of her, her name is samantha but we call sammie, I call her semilla which means seed. If some of you don't mind me asking, please say a prayer for her, her children and my family and that she will come home soon. I scolded her via text early on but now I really regret it. Thank you.
  13. Sucks when only black describes your mood. Hang in there. Sunnier days do come. Today I'm having a mixture of color day. I'll take this kind of day, well, any day. Smile everyone, it hurts less than frowning.
  14. My sister just told me that she's having a bad day so I told her about this discussion and asked about her color and of course it's black. But here's the the thing: she's on her way to talk to our eldest sister who is very sick and hard to understand because of her condition, in fact her body has really because shriveled but her disposition is always upbeat and sunny despite her condition. She's always the big sister and kind of the head of the family. All pretenses are now gone, she is much in peace with her station on life; she had a very descent life, good husband who has always been a good provider and very descent kids.
  15. Sucks when only black describes your mood. Hang in there. Sunnier days do come.