Goodbye.
Posted by , Nov 3 2009, 08:55 AM
and thank you for the fish! One improbable spaceship to whoever got that.
I'm moving my blog to another location since there's quite alot of hassle about my posts, which is understandable.
Please PM me about the new adress if you want to continue reading this, but DO NOT if you think it's going to trigger/offend you in any way. I probably wont be putting spoilers or trigger warnings there.
Train Trip, Wall Of Text, Do Not Read Etc!
Posted by , Oct 31 2009, 11:18 AM
I wonder if I could just change the blogs name to”Triggering” and each entry title “Do not read”. That way I could write whatever I want without worrying about that stuff. Maby I should ask a mod…or admin. Whatever the difference between those two is. Think mods are kinda like admins…just worse. Authority wise, that is. Anyway I’m on a train heading to my mum’s place. Get laundry done. My machine is still broken. I had my first real social experience outside school just now. I was sitting at the…train…dock…thingy, waiting for the train to come. Some guy sat next to me. He said “Sure is cold out here.” And I replied (not making eyecontact) “yeah, it’s abit chilly.” then he leaaaaaned forward and FORCED eyecontact. I looked at him. He says “I’m only wearing a t-shirt under this jacket.” I said “Oh…” and then slowly turned my head to the left and pretend to study the train schedule. He still said some other stuff about electric trains or something. Far as I can tell, there’s few types of people who come up with you and try to chat with you out of the blue:
1. The elderly. I can maby understand this type. They might be lonely because their kids/grandkids don’t love them/they never had kids/they smell like pee. Or could be just because they’re used to casual chatter because that’s how things were in the olden days when they had to walk 50km to school every day, with -70 C outside, while being mangled by dozen bears and hundred wolves every step of the way.
2. The insane. These are the types who you can usually recognize just from their appearance. Though it wont take long for them to confirm your suspicions, because they will start to share their conspiracy theories about how carrots are weapons of mass destruction planted by the government.
3. The chatty ones. The genuinely social types, who want to pass time by talking. You can be sure that if you refuse to chat with them, they’re gonna grab their mobile phones and chat with someone else. Because they cant seem to operate without flapping their gums for more than 15 seconds. These can be recognized either from the cellphone or a pencil that’s stuck in their throat after the person next to them has had enough.
I think my encounter was a hybrid between the insane and social ones. He looked insane, but acted like social person. The mobile phone came out the second I stopped replying. I wouldn’t mind if it was a pretty girl chatting, but it’s ALWAYS middleaged men. What is this? Do I look like I want to know what you are wearing under the jacket? Because I don’t. Nobody does. So just sit down, close your big fat mouth for a second and just…chill. Before I push you front of the train. I started to think watching at the railroad (this happens everytime)-
oh TRIGGER GRAPHIC VIOLENT DESCRIPTIONS AHEAD DO NOT READ THIS UNLESS YOU ARE +25 WITH PARENTS RIGHT BEHIND YOUR BACK AND A SHRINK CLOSE BY!
I started to think about a clean way of suicide with train. –CENSORED STORY, explanation ahead!- . Sorry if that was sick. I often think about this stuff. Doesn’t everyone? Or am I just messed up? Obviously people don’t think about this stuff since even the depressed ones who commit suicide do it the wrong way. Maby those are just in heat of the moment type of things, they don’t consider how your body is going to look or what effect it can have to people finding you. How do I know this stuff, you ask? Internet is a beautiful thing. By beautiful I mean horrific. The stuff I’ve seen…you cant understand. You cant understand how sick people can be. Maby I should stop actively seeking this stuff out? Maby it’s just making me feel worse? I cant stop. I don’t want to close my eyes from the truth. Because truth is all that matters, if it’s awful or beautiful. I don’t wanna sound twisted or anything, I do appreciate the beautiful things in life. The achievements mankind has made, beautiful nature around us, feelings like love and happiness…those are real too. But I am particulary interested in methods of suicide, because it feels like that is relevant to me. After my pathetic attempt earlier, I’ve searched the issue. Oh right, I have mentioned that I tried suicide once right? It was couple years ago. Yeah I’ve explained it earlier I’m sure, probably one of the first entry blogs where I explained it. It was scary by the way. Even for someone like me, thinking that you are going to die, it’s scary. It was scary then atleast. Next time, I think I will be braver. If there is a next time, that is.
I could go on about the things I’ve seen but there’s no point in it, people who are morbidly curious can/will/have found the stuff themselves. People who don’t want to see this stuff, this will just upset them. Okay now I feel bad about writing something earlier so I’m just gonna delete it. There, I did it. I just deleted the description, sorry if it makes rest of the blog seem like it doesn’t mate sense. But you should be used to that already, honestly.
I seem to be able to write more in trains for some reason. Maby it is because there’s nothing else to do, maby it is because I want the girls next stall think I’m a journalist. Chicks dig journalists, right? I’m not really sure why. Is this the case or am I just crazy? Most likely they’ll think I’m just a geek actually. I should lift the computer up and show them I’m writing, not playing video games. Man I’m sure that’d turn them on. Hang on.
Girls suck.
Anyway, what else is going on…oh I’ve started to listen rap music more. I’ve been listening classical music few months now, got Bach coming out of my *** already. So I wanted to explore new kind of music, so I…PURCHASED LEGALLY, a rap music package that had like 500 best songs on it. It’s not too bad actually, though I probably think the most entertaining part is the artists names. Chubb Rock, Slick Rick, Gangstarr, Black Moon (that made me lol for some reason), Nappy Roots, Gang Starr (what a ripoff!), Ol dirty Barstewards and the list goes on. I need a rap name too. Aboriginal Abomination. That’d work if I were black and Australian. Maby with my real name…Jive Janne.
Here’s pimpin’ JiveJanne, make some nooooise! Yo I’m jiving janne…my name is janne and I make jives…jiving is my game, janne is my name. Pimp ho’s bling niggah weed, ain’t doin’ nuttin’ but jiving while driving, shooting my…I cant recall any gun names, those are for fools and lames, I just jive baby, and **** some ho’s maby, lady, gravy, did I say gravy, I meant groovy, I took care of that very smoothly. PEACE OUT FOO’S!
Movies!
Posted by , Oct 29 2009, 09:08 AM
Let's chat movies! Little light blogging will do us both good, and movies is a good subject for that. Now, I want to confess something right at the start. This may upset you. This may shock you.
I have never seen any of the Star War movies. Or Godfathers. I'm sorry. I know i'm a failure as a geek just for that, but there you go. It's shameful, but I've never been into science fiction. Oh and Godfathers I havent seen because... I dont know. I hate italians. Just never got around watching em. But I know we can work through this, together. Just stick by me please. I swear i'll watch them sometime. Okay you probably dont give rats *** have I seen those or not, but I want to make this chapter longer before moving on. Bit longer. Biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttttttt loooooooooooooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggggeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrr. I used to do that as a kid when writing essays, I dont think the teachers liked it. But it worked. Ish. Think this is enough. NOW!
Look! It's a new chapter! I'm gonna try list some movies I've liked, these are in no specific order, just whatever I remember liking:
Monty Python's Holy Grail. Think this was the first movie the MP crew made, and by far my favourite of the trilogy. The other two are pretty good too, but this was funniest. So many good scenes which I'm not going to repeat, i'm sure you've heard them hundred times from geeks already.
Fight Club. Kinda had to be here, right? I like Brad Pitt. He's a good actor, think many dont see that because he's hot as **** (no homo). Edward Norton was good too, but he always is. I dont think he's absolutely fantastic like many others, but he's good. The movies storyline was different and that made it stand off aswell, put all this together and you got a fine soup of excellence. With manboobs!
American History X. Yeah Edward Norton reminded me of this, fantastic film. Best acting i've seen from the man and the movie had nice feel to it. Almost touching, the ending. Probably would to people who aren't, you know, monsters like me. Even if you don't give a crap about racism I'd still recomend it, it's just a genuinly good flick. Plus Norton was hot as **** (seriously...no homo).
Pulp Fiction. One of my alltime favourites. I'll just put a quote from it (my favourite ones get raped by the censorship but this is good too):
Mia: Don't you hate that?
Vincent: What?
Mia: Uncomfortable silences. Why do we feel it's necessary to yak about bulls*** in order to be comfortable?
Vincent: I don't know. That's a good question.
Mia: That's when you know you've found somebody special. When you can just shut the **** up for a minute and comfortably enjoy the silence.
The whole movie is just filled with great and often funny dialog. Watch it. Right meow.
Die hard series. Guns. Explosives. Bruce Willis. Need I say more?
Pianist. Jewish pianist struggling through WW2. Might sound boring to some, but it's worth to watch. Kinda depressing, but brilliant. Wladyslaw Szpilman was fantastic.
Sin City By far my favourite off the comic movies, extremely stylish and entertaining. This is how it's done, people. Also, I would have anal sex with Bruce Willis. (NO homo!)
Stand by me I hate kids in movies and I hate Stephen king movies. They're horrible. This was both, loved it. It's not horror in any way, but a proper and touching adventure. One of my alltime favourites, by far.
Shaun of the dead. What is a nerd movie list without zombies? This combines brilliant british humor with brain devouring, with amazing results. It's not really scary, just a comedy. But it also contains one of the goriest scenes i've seen in movies. Definately worth the watch.
Okay, there's alot of good movies and I could go on...but think that's long enough. That's what she said. Sorry, I cant control that anymore...OH one more, almost forgot:
El laberinto del fauno (Pan's Labyrinth). This movie was a shocker to me, I got it as a present and didn't expect anything from it. It was just amazing, and very difficult to explain. Has the scariest monsters i've ever seen in movies and it's not even supposed to be horror. Touching, depressing, terrifying. Just astonishing.
Now I'm done. Lately I haven't seen too many movies, think last one was Audition and Ringu. Oh and Grudge too. Think those are the holy trio of japanese horror, though Audition was more...freaky than scary. Had a great torture scene though. I liked 'em alot, watch those too.
Share your favourites/recomendations!
How Hard Can It Be?
Posted by , Oct 28 2009, 11:40 AM
Looking for a friend, must be...not boring, not get offended by most stuff/anything, not boring, good sense of humor, not boring. Being weird helps. Oh and big boobs.
Just kidding.
ish.
TRIGGERTRIGGERTRIGGERTRIGGERTRIGGERTRIGGERTRIGGERTRIGGERTRIGGERTRIGGERTRIGGER
It's day...err, it's a day. Wendsday I think. Hang on...28th of october. Was supposed to go to shrink today, skipped it. Dont see the point. Anyway i'm feeling lonesome tonight...god I hate Elvis. And no idea what to do about it. I want a certain kind of friend/friends, described above, but I cant seem to gather energy to find one. Cant seem to gather energy for anything these days though. School is going pretty bad too, but I dont care anymore. Just let the time pass and pass and pass, until something happens. Then I agree to anything they suggest. Then time comes to do it. I dont do it. And so we move on, let the time pass and pass. When will they get sick of it? When will I get sick of being a dissapointment? When will I find the courage to put an end to the time passing, on my part anyway? Who knows. But for now, we'll let is pass. That's all I can do.
But I still hold hope, that I could make a friend who'll change things and make life not just a tedious waiting line. Maby i've just seen too many romantic tv-shows. Stuff like that never happens in real life, does it? In real life, the hero never gets the girl. In real life, the noble ones wont defend the weak. In real world...in real world nothing is evened out. There's no karma, horrific things happen to good people. There's no god, nothing to guide and watch over us. It's just the world mankind has made. And it's a terrible, unfair one.
Ohwell, maby it's just the weather. Winter is coming. Free dragonegg to whoever knows what book is that from. It's getting dark already. Think i'll go to store and buy something yummy. Drown your sorrows in sugar, kids. It's the socially acceptable way. Delicious, too.
Thanks.
Posted by , Oct 26 2009, 01:33 PM
Just noticed that my blog has over 100 comments and 1000 views.
I...I don't know what to say. This was so unexpected...I'd like to thank Raptor Jesus and his lizardly followers to make all this possible, without their reptilian ways this wou-
Kanye West: Yo Abom, I'm really happy for you. I'm gonna let you finish, but saturnish's blog is one of the best blogs of all time.
God D*** it.
Anyway, it's monday. Nobody likes mondays. Except those overly positive douches that are thankful for every day and cant wait to start a fresh new week. Nobody likes you guys. So just...stop it. Be miserable like the rest of us. Just got home from school, it was horrible as ever. I specially hate the nosy assistant teachers who try to relate to the young folks with joking around. You know, modernly dressed types who have bit of a scruffy beard growing and all the teenage girls would give their ovaries to have a sniff at their armpit. Just stop it, act like your own D*** aged. And no it's not funny to say you drive a sportscar even when you really have a 1986 Saab. It wasn't funny the first time, it's not funny the 500th time. So just go back to your one-bedroom apartment, playing acoustic guitar and drinking cappuccinos.
Just had lunch, slice of pinapple-ham pizza. If you call it a kiddies pizza, -insert a shockingly horrid threat here, that I censored even before sending since it's going to happen anyway-. It wasn't too bad. Now sitting on my bed with the laptop, drinking coffee. Viivi just got up too it seems. Last night was the first time i've seen her sleeping outside her small cottage thing inside cage, she just got up to the boards and laid down and rolled over her back with her paws up in air and just snoozed off. It was awesome. I would post a pic, but think people would have a stroke from the cuteness. Have no real plans for today (SHOCK AND GASP), probably should go to a store to get food. Maby visit the library. Maby watch some movies. Who knows, I got the whole evening to spending distracting myself from my hollow life. Might write more later, laterereresrsrsrsrs!
Naming Entries Are For Sissyboys. Wait..
Posted by , Oct 25 2009, 09:43 AM
Warning, following blog entry might contain triggering and outright offensive material. It’s not recommended to anyone and you should feel bad reading it.
Alright, thought I’d write something again. On my way back to my apartment, listening the most godawful finnish versions of real classics. That can only mean one thing…that’s right, I’m getting a lift from my dad. Needed his Volvo to move some stuff. Basically boxes on wheels these. Just saw Louis Theroux’s document about crystal meth in America. I like him, he’s awesome at using his appearance to ask difficult questions. He’s so british and extremely polite and sweet, so people don’t mind answering him why are you letting your wife ***** herself to buy dope. It was quite depressing though. But that’s life. I think one of my main qualities is that I appreciate honesty and being direct, and I try to be like that aswell. I do lie sometimes though, because that’s something you need in life. Like if your wife just gave birth and asks was it beautiful, you can’t really say that “No. It honestly was something out of a nightmare. I have never found you less sexually appealing than right now.” But I do like when people are being honest with me. Because life isn’t all puppies and sunshine, it’s absolutely horrific to some people. “Sometimes, dead is better. *chews on straw*” one undead cat to whoever knows where that’s from. Freedom of speech is a wonderful thing, and even though it isn’t appreciated or thought highly of in this modern world, there is still some folks who do respect that. I salute those men and women. And on that surprisingly positive note, it’s time to end. Good nigh!
Click Here To See Taz Enraged.
Posted by , Oct 23 2009, 02:08 PM
There. Are you not entertained? *throws a sword at you* ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?! IS THIS NOT WHY YOU ARE HERE?!
Okay, sorry. So it's another friday night, i'm sitting on my bed with laptop in my lap. Some people think that's weird, laptop should be held on top of a table. It's called a laptop. It's freaking called a laptop. Just...just dont. Just dont start. It's a laptop. Okay? Okay. I got my window open, as usual. Probably around -10 celcius outside or so with wind blowing. I like the cool air. It's crisp, makes me feel clean. ALSO MAKES ME FEEL LIKE I'M ON TOP OF A MOOOOOOOUUUUUNTAAAAAAAAAIIIIIN! Get it? Like in the adverts? I always have the feeling that 65% of my jokes people just dont understand. You need to watch more tv or surf the interwebs. Then you can appreciate my mediocre funnyness. It's not funny when I have to explain it someone. Like with my ex, she just had no idea what I was on about half of the time. Partly, because she wasn't a geek, but mainly because her hair was blond. Ohwell. Not many have the sense of humour as I do. The ones who do are usually bats*** insane, which is fine with me. But i think it can get old after few nights of waking up together and she thinks she's an onion.
I got my glass of cognac (okay it's freaking coca-cola zero) on the night table next to me, just surfing the web and trying to ignore how pathetic I must seem like. I'm actually reading the original versions of fairy tales. Why, because you're such a ******* dork? you might cry out, but no. They're actually pretty interesting. Like the Little Red Riding Hood, the version you know is that Red is going to her grandmothers house, meets a wolf, tells him that she's going there, wolf goes ahead of her and eats her grandma and dresses up like her and waits for Red. Red gets there, they do their bit of "oh what big teeth you have" etc, wolf eats her and passing woodsman comes by and cuts the wolf open and rescues the grandma+red. The original story doesn't have the woodsman. That's right, it was just "Wolf ate her grandma. Then he ate her. The freaking end." There's also older versions that have sexual vibe going on, like having Red outwit the wolf by performing a striptease for him while he's lying in bed dressed as her Grandmother, and then running away while he's "distracted". Or even that the wolf cuts up the grandmother, then invites Red to eat her, and after they've both had a nice meal he eats the Red too. Nice. That's the stories I would've preferred as growing up d*** it! You can read more by just googling "original fairy tales", there's alot more where that came from. Anyway, off to clean the chinchin cage. Good night!
Bloggyblog.
Posted by , Oct 22 2009, 08:04 AM
I'm gonna go ahead and put a trigger warning here since I MIGHT maby talk about death and stuff here. So do not read if that's not your cup of tea or whatever.
It's another random blog entry, serious entries are not so fun to write. I chatted with Trace last night in the chatroom. She's from Africa. First african i've ever chatted with. I would write a joke here, but I wont. Because i'm mature. Anyway after passionate 15 minutes of chatting she got sick of it and left. Another fella came on then, dark...zzzz something. Speak up if you happen to read this blog. Chatted with him for a while. Apparently america is a horrible country and nobody should ever go there. I believe him.
That got me thinking, there's not that many nice countries out there. Only one I could thought of is...Netherlands or something. I like their free-spirited attitude, assisted suicides and legal weed. Bit dull history/culture wise though. Oh and dont think the nature is anything special either. Finland is a horrible, dreary place but atleast the nature is pretty nice here, lot of forests and lakes. And Africa, quite literally a hell on earth, but atleast the nature and wildlife is stunning. I'm still planning on going to visit London sometime, just because the culture and beautiful architecture. I know it's gonna be filled with chavs and has probably the worst traffic in the world...but think it's worth it if I just go for a visit and not live there. SPEAKING of england, dead babies.
Yes, dead babies. I've seen interesting pictures from late 1800's to early 1900's of children who have died and the family has decided to take a photo of the dead kid (like dressing him up, placing him on a swing or something) to remember them by. Some of them are quite amazingly creepy, but very interesting. I'm not exactly sure where to stand on that, is it a good thing or not. I dont find it offensive or anything, I would just personally find it depressing. Taking photos of the hollow shell of your loved one, just to remind you that he is gone forever and that lack of spark in their eyes would never let you forget. BUT if you dont mind that, i'd recomend getting him/her stuffed! Put it in the corner of a room, great for memories and also can be used as a halloween gag. Not exactly sure the legal aspects of that, but I HAVE seen photos of dead people being stuffed and kept in the family home. Think it's allowed if the dead person had wanted it done or something. My dad has a beaver he shot stuffed in his apartment (yes, a beaver. guess kittens aren't as socially acceptable :P), could be funny to have my grandpa stuffed and sitting on a chair he liked, with pipe on his hand too. He was actually the last person I knew who smoked a pipe, great man he was. Shame that it kinda caused his lung cancer too (died from it) but there you go. Anyway, I think I should go do some cleaning now. Good night!
Find Out Who Is Jasmarandas Real Father On Tonights Episode Of....of Whatever My Blogs Name Is.
Posted by , Oct 21 2009, 12:56 PM
Let's take a break on opening me up and looking at the innards. Too many maggots crawling out, it stinks. I'm bored as hell right now. I miss having someone to chat with. I'm at the depression chatroom because I thought I saw someone in there a minute go. He was gone by the time it had loaded. God D*** you people and your american time zones, move to a proper country. Probably too busy with your straight roads...and cheese...and...all the stuff about...okay I dont know what you people do in there. But i'm 32% sure that it would be better to be online and chat with me. All you have to do is sit there and listen to me whine and mock people. Sometimes replying, "You are correct as ever, Abom. God would do you himself if he swung that way."
That's all I ask. It's not much. So quit your jobs/schools and stay home to chat. Nice little chat. To **** the time that goes on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and onTHERES SOMEONE IN THE CHATROOM
Deeper Layers Of My Man-onion!
Posted by , Oct 20 2009, 03:26 AM
God that sounded disgusting. I apologize. What I was mean to discuss is bit more about ME, how about that? Think of this as the sequal to revealing my physical appearance. Who am I really? I hate that question since I dont really have a clear answer. I like to categorize people in certain classes and what they might be like judging from stereotypes because then I can wrap my head around them. I know thinking in stereotypes is horrible and wrong, but I think i do it because A) It's pretty funny. B) It's true more often than not, that's why the stereotype was born C) The thing I mentioned earlier, wrapping my head around them. Understanding them abit.
I'll try to step out of my skin now and judge myself from different persons view. I'm quiet, dark bags under my eyes, seemingly cold about most subjects, nervous on some occasions, could be clever (I only say this because...okay it's too long story to put in brackets. But this is NOT because I think i'm so brilliant other people see it too), grim...okay that's all I can think of. Let's try to categorize that.
...
...
But i'm not a serial killer! Honestly! The other option would be the more common type of people these days, a goth or emo. That would fit since i'm relatively young, right? I've just never thought myself as them though. Because I dont listen any of that music or wear the clothes or wear excessive amounts of eye-liner. Oh and no piercings. Oh and i'm not a total douche either. I do however have scars along my arms from cutting few years back, but I didn't do that because...it was part of the social scene or anything. The same reason I didn't start smoking, drinking or being a complete d**k to my family when I became a teenager. I dont do things because it is popular. I do things because...I dont know, I try to do the right things in my head. Does that make any sense? No it doesn't, I cant explain it any further though. This is why I was reluctant to even put clever on the list earlier, i'm quite thick really. Anyway the point was that I didn't cut because of that...another pause here but just thought of something. Even if I didnt cut because it was/is popular, I still cut myself. Does that fall into emo category? Or goth? I don't know the difference between those two actually, i'll just say emo from now on. Let's assume it does. Another major factor would be that I enjoy all things macabre. Again, I'm not doing it because everyone else is, i do it because it is genuinly interesting to me. I think that's the case with most people actually. That's the reason why news always show most depressing, gory stories. Because people want to see it, how horrific man can really be. People just dont like admitting it for some reason.
Think mostly I just fall into the category of being a creep, the loner. The weird kid noone wants to talk with. The guy who doesn't seem to fit anywhere. Is that it? I wonder. Anyway, I might write more on evening but i'm gonna go now. Feel sick to my stomach. Good night!
on Goodbye.