warning: this is a load of babble-ish venting you may want to avoid

its finals week for me in college..

took one today that i just could NOT bring myself to study for whatsoever and i had so much free time to do it but instead i moped around and watched television- woke up with a stomach virus today so i REALLY couldn't study and had to leave the exam early because i felt so sick and i couldnt answer half of it.(i was thinking it was going to be multiple choice and shocker: it wasnt!)

i have one tomorrow that i also havent studied for and i seem to be accepting of the fact that im most likely going to fail 2 classes this semester.

its gonna take me an extra year to finish college- oh when will it all end :(

i used to be so motivated and hard working when it came to academics(and life in general) but these days i just dont have the energy/willpower to bring myself to do anything productive..im so apathetic about life and a little voice in the back of my head is screaming "WHAT ARE YOU DOING" but i seem to be doing a good job droning it out.

blahh......

Oh I certainly know how you feel, that is exactly how I am feeling at the moment I have to admit! I know this isnt any good advice, but I just wanted you to know youre not alone. Im also thinking, so what if it takes an extra year in college, at least you will have had time to get thru the exams a second time! Im sure youll be ok in the end, dont give up!
Best wishes
Evin

Don't worry about taking an extra year to finish college. Nowadays 5 years is acceptable to complete a baccalaureate degree. Have you checked out your student health center on campus? They can help point you in the right direction for your depression. When I was in college, the fall finals were always the hardest. I don't know why other than the upcoming holidays and the loss of sunlight hours.
Sheepwoman

I got finals starting today (high school, though). Calculus is not a fun class. I have to aggree with Evin. If it takes another year to pass, then do what seems right for you. I'm not much of an advice giver, but last second studying could prove a breakthrough.

hey sorry to hear that i get wot you mean about not having the energy/willpower. im in college and had assignments to hand in before cmas (which cmas is something that gets me down as i hate it) but cant seem to get my mind on the work that has to be done it is always on everything apart from what i am meant to be doing. like you said im too sad to care myself it just gets worse i cant tell you that you will get better soon as i dont know and i cant say it will get easier because sometimes it doesnt ever or for a while i dont no.... i guess we all just live in hope that it will get better and it is really hard when you feel no one understands/cares.

I am having the same problem at the moment....
Only it is not with Exams - there over. It is with Coursework. I do it all at the last minute, and the only reason I didn't get a C and got a B in one of my modules is that I managed to nearly get full marks on the end of unit test.
I am officially on hoiliday now and am having some problems getting the motivation to do some coursework. Now I have to do it and get it emailed in in the next few hours. And it will not be good quality.

This post has been edited by HelenLlama: Dec 19 2006, 09:30 AM

Exam time was the worst, it was beyond stressful, and I remember wanting to give up a few times. I would talk to your prof, it is possible that you could write the exams at a later time. If you go to student counselling services, or whatever they call it at your school, you can tell them just how you feel, which may get you out of the exams for now.
I had to take a reduced course load in university, and graduated a year later, but it made university a much better experiance for me. Plus, after being out working in the real world for a few years...another year of uni ain't that bad...trust me.
You have some powerful depression symptoms going on, you reallty need to get some help with them. Are you on any medications?
Misfit

Good luck my friend, you will do well.

My daughter has had those problems too, but she has checked out student counseling on campus and they offered to intervene for her with a particularly jerk professor whose attitude when asked for help - "If you can't do the work alone, then you don't belong in the class." Yeah, this is what you get for your thousands of dollars spent on college. But I would definitely check out the counseling and they can recommend you to student health who can help with medication at low or no cost. But then keep seeing the counselor to monitor your situation. Good luck!

As Sheep woman said, dont worry about taking the extra year to finish college. Its not a failure by any means.

Your health is more important right now, do your best and thats all you can ask...hang in there.

Hi, introvert. I agree with surgeon. I went away to college and after 3 years I just fell apart--bad relationship, depression, failing my first class EVER. So I moved back home and worked for a year, then finished up my degree at a college closer to home. When I went back to college I was in a much better place mentally and emotionally, and I ended up aceing the one class I'd failed at the other college. Your health is the most important thing--college is incredibly stressful, and it's such a stressful age anyway. You're not by any means a failure, and I hope you'll take care of yourself first and then the rest will all fall into place. Hoping you will forgive yourself and give yourself a little hug from me! java script:add_smilie(%22:hugs:%22,%22smid_68%22)

thanks for all the support everyone.

it helps a lot getting your perspectives on things, because mine is all askew these days.

i was taking prozac for the last month, very low dosage but i only went to see the psychiatrist once and i just finished the prescription she gave me..i havent seen her since that first time and i dont know how much the prozac helped really, if anything i have a lot more anxiety around people- but i dont know if just stopping after a month is really a good idea either.

you know what really sucks? hearing about how college is supposed to be "the best times of your life" and a time of self discovery..im almost bitter that thats not the case for me, like it is for so many others. makes me feel like im missing out on an experience really important in life.

People should really stop with the whole "best time of your life thing." It completely ignores the fact that some of us find college to be one of the roughest times in our lives. Heck, my depression didn't start becoming really bad until I was through with my third year. Also, that kind of statement makes it seem like life after school is always one of work and drudgery without real self-discovery, which in my opinion, is a bunch of bull.

Anyway, you're not alone in finding college to be a less than wonderful experience. This may seem like cliche advice (sorry), but don't worry about missing out on supposed milestones, and just focus on making the present as good as possible. I've found that focusing too much on what "should have been" just causes unnecessary pain. Of course, this may be easier said than done, I know. I'm sorry if I didn't do too well at saying something comforting. I really hope that life improves for you soon.

PS. Oh, and don't worry about taking an extra year of school. I'm on my 6th year of trying to get a degree (although I'm admittedly not trying too hard anymore...)

This post has been edited by WhateverJen: Dec 22 2006, 01:28 AM

I know! That's exactly how I feel, too. It's horrible. I don't enjoy my time at college very much at all, and I really want that to change.