I was just curious as to how many of us are dysphoric and if anyone else tht does have it, has found a way to curb their explosions. I've had it with this and just want it to go AWAY.

Hey Epic,
Just wanted to give everyone a heads up on what dysphoric mania is, so they would know (if they don't)


Dysphoric mania: The concurrent presence of symptoms of depression and mania together. Also called Mixed bipolar state.

I suffer from this myself.  My mania isn't a happy mania. It's quite irritable, depressed, and angry once it gets started.  It's pretty miserable.  I can relate to what you're saying.  Let's see what other have to say.

I bet Rhonda (Dispatch) can jump in here.

Looks like it's you and me Cat.  :taz:

Rhonda's dying to get here, but sh'es got her 2000th post that she's working on and she's got to make it in the Funny Farm and it's going to be a poem... so she can't make it here... see?  so once she makes it, she'll come over here, I told her to hurry her butt up!  She'll be here, don't worry... she's dysphoric if ever there was one... plus, the weekend is slow, don't despair.  

I suffer from dysphoric episodes myself.  I will be very energetic and restless, but i will be in a really angry mood.  When I am depressed and I experience irritability it goes away once I get so down that I can't even focus on what I am mad about.  However, I never get tired when I am having a dysphoric episode.  I'll spend hours writing rude emails to businesses complaining about their services.  I wish I knew some tips on how to handle this kind of episode.  I am afraid that waiting it out while waiting for pharmaceuticals to kick in is all you can do sometimes.  They do need to do more research on dysphoria or mixed states to figure out what medicines would help.

Katie :confused:

I have mixed states and it is very unpleasant.  I was just diagnosed in June so I don't really know what helps.  The anger can just get to be a seething rage with me.    My mind is racing a 200 miles per hour and I get very suicidal during these times as well...in addition to wanting to lash out at everything and everyone.

Hi ya'll  

Phew feeling much better today, although almost got in a fight last night at work, some of the places I have to check on are pretty rough, crankheads, crackheads and thugs mostly, not to mention a shooting in this particular park 3 nights ago hence the reason I need to figure out a way to deal with this. Guess the blackout fixed it for the time being until the next round.  :confused:  looking back I guess maybe hitting the heavy bag might relieve it some but I've tried tht a little and it appears it more than likely is a false hope. It just sucks being confrontational, po'ed and mad at the world when I get like this, not to mention getting all negative then toss in paranoia and it gets pretty strange, confusing and ugly.

I agree with you Katie, it would be great if there was a med to taper this out some.

Trinity, I understand, I get to the "last straw" and then blackout, which scares me to death.

Hi Cat!  :taz:


I had one pal tell me I was a loose cannon a long time ago, really didn't understand what he meant until the blackouts started, now I have a pretty good visual on it.

Just want it to go away...shoo bad stuff...shoo

Dysphoric mania...sure ..ask my broken small kitchen appliances , the door,chairs, the window...need I go on?   :oh:

When I was taking Seroquel every day...I found its effectiveness begin to wear off,so I stopped taking it every day. Now, when I begin to feel the aggitation coming on, just one helps.  

A small rant by me...I hate when people assume mania is a happy happy joy joy time, hypomania is that way for me, but when manic...watch the heck out!!  :veryangry:

Dispatch, somehow people seem to not know anything about dysphoria.  I met one person with unipolar depression who seemed to think bipolar moods fluctuated through the small range of sad to happy.  Last semester I had to leave school, because I had a severe dysphoric, psychotic manic episode.  When I told people I withdrew, they said they hoped I was feeling less depressed.  I said it was not a depressive episode and that it was a manic episode.  Someone actually said "cool" when I said that.  Everyone thought I ran around town having a grand old time.

Katie :angry:

Yep, I'm another one who has suffered from dysphoric mania.  Haven't had this happen to me in a while now, so hopefully that means my meds are working like they are supposed to.

So meds can actually curb this Schroedinger???

Hey Dispatch, I've become quite the carpenter thanks to this mess, I relate to the door thing well.

Shroedinger,
You mentioned meds maybe helping you with your mixed states.  Were you referring to daily maintenance meds like mood stabilizers or meds that you take on an as needed basis?  I have been trying to find a good med other than my anti-anxiety meds to use as a PRN during dysphoric episodes.  Do you have any ideas?

Katie

I use a small dose of Seroquel  50mgs.  seems to help and last longer than the prn xanax.....and yes Epic, I recently helped my husband install a new bathroom door..whoops seems it splinterd at the hinges ....wonder how THAT happened?  :whistling: Wondered why my foot hurt for a while too...  :unsure:

Hi everyone,

Wow, you guys have got me thinking, which is a feat in itself.

I am rapid cycling bp2 and have major fits of rage...for which I take Risperadol.  I don't function on it but it makes it so I don't do anything my mind would like me to do...destroy stuff, tell off people, etc.  I even hate my husband at times like this and want him to get away from me.  Even my beloved dog can see this ugly side.  Sometimes I wonder if I am schizo because it is so bad.

I have never been dxsd w/dysphoric but I have not been around a good pdoc for five years.  Is this dxs' relatively new?

By the way, I had a day like it day before yesterday and I was just hateful, nobody can do anything right and everyone is stupid  Obviously it is me.

Do any of you take Risperadol to help control your moods?  I see many of you take seroquel.  I usually take 2mg. of Risperadol, 1-2mg. xanax and some OTC sleeping stuff so I will crawl off and be quiet :sleepy:  Nice cocktail, huh?

My sister once asked me if Mania is just being "too happy".  Too happy?  Give me a break!!  Try almost dangerously angry - aggressive - mean - nasty - all that "fun" stuff.  Oh yeah - too happy my butt!  

Most recently it was a temper tantrum that led to a knife sticking out of the kitchen floor.  Oops - I swear I dropped it - it just happened to fly about 6 feet before it stuck in my hardwood floor, missing my poor cat by about 12 inches.  Of course the whole episode was witnessed by my husband who finds the whold episode incredibly funny.

So yeah - I know all about dysphoria.  Add a nice dose of depression with that and experience the roller coaster that is ultra-rapid cycling.  Yahoo!  Fun and Games!

j2m

Epic - I have suffered from mixed states since I was a teenager and only brought them under control with the help of meds over the last couple of years (I'll be 40 this year).  I don't believe my symptoms would have mysteriously gone away after all this time, so I think it has to be the meds keeping things under control.  It has taken a little experimentation to find a good combo for me.  Right now I take 150 mg/day of Effexor XR, 2500 mg/day of Depakote, and 600 mg/day of Seroquel.  I don't take anything PRN.

Okracoker - While I don't take anything PRN for mixed episodes, the Seroquel is actually considered to be a major tranquilizer, so I think that helps me a lot.  I take 300 mg in the morning and 300 mg at night.  Between the Seroquel and the Depakote, my mania has been fairly well under control for a while now.  I did have an episode a while back, but it wasn't too bad and I got over it quickly.

Orion - I took Risperdal for about nine months leading up to my last hospitalization.  While I was in the hospital, they switched me over to Seroquel with the reasoning being the Risperdal obviously wasn't helping me.  I was taking 6 mg/day of Risperdal.

SC

Orion, I take Risperdal, too. I have been put on Seroquel before, but it didn't work out for me. For some oddball reason, Seroquel seemed worse than Risperdal - I slept through my alarm the next morning and was three hours late to work. NOT good. I tried it again over the weekend and I just slept.....and slept.....If the phone rang or if anyone was ringing the doorbell or pounding on the door, it wouldn't matter - NOTHING would wake me up. I guess if you're in the middle of ground zero of a war zone and want some uninterrupted sleep, Seroquel is OK.

As for the Risperdal, within about 30-45 minutes of taking it (at night, 4mg), I get extremely tired. I don't care about anything except for going to bed at that point.  Throughout the next day, I feel like a zombie, but it's better than how I can get at times.

I think Risperdal really helps keep me calm, but I was prescribed it to deal with hallucinations, delusions, and paranoia.

I used to take .5mgs Respridal.  It worked like a charm for me.  Guess my pdoc jumped on the Seroquel bandwagon like so may docs seem to have done.

Thanks for the input!  It gives me a better idea of what is going on out there.  They would not give me serqueol but I have forgotton why not.

Woot! A lot of useful information here.  "!" "!"

Schroedinger,

Thank you for sharing, I'm glad you've found the right combo, I hope it keeps working for you. I was just wondering if perhaps you might have come to terms with it through therapy, meditation or some other means, it's obvious it wouldn't just disappear, as much as I'd like to believe that but since I haven't found any info on meds actually helping this until now I have hope, I thank you very much for that.

J2M, Dispatch,

The thing with the knife and throwing things (like appliances) I can relate to, well, maybe not a knife but I did rip the door off of a work vehicle once, then the tailgate before I knew what I had done...like a maniac, but I couldn't help it, I blacked out after the 3rd time the door slapped me in the face as I was trying to get out and when I "came back" the tailgate was halfway across the parking lot, the door was stuck in a 50 gallon drum and my nose was bloody, needless to say that was hard to explain to the boss. The truck was dubbed Christine afterwards since it seemed to delight in beating me up and of course I'm sure everyone at work knew what happened they just didn't say anything since I work alone anyway.

Not to mention, I work on computers part time and punted a PB 386 out the door into the middle of the street once without realizing it. This stuff can run into some serious money, really wish I could control it.

Orion,

I don't think it's a new diagnosis as far as I can find but the symptoms you have match most of the criteria for it, assuming the information I've read is correct anyway. I'd ask my doc about this.

Munch,

So Risperdal is actually used to control hallucinations and  paranoia too? This is exactly what I was wanting to ask the pdoc about the other day was something to help me control these symptoms as well but he was at a meeting.  :sniffle1:

They've upped dosage of depakote on me to help try and curb the paranoia, still no word on the other med(s) they want me to take, hope it isn't something that makes me drool. I ruined a good keyboard like that last time.

Katie,

So the anti-anxiety meds don't seem to help you that much either I see, I had to take 40 mgs of valium when I "came back" after the last "blackout" I had and it still didn't completely relieve me, this is frustrating.

Munch - When I started taking Seroquel, I had the same problems with sleep.  I just wanted to sleep all of the time.  While I have gotten past that, it is still VERY difficult to wake me up in the morning.  I have to rely on my wife to wake me up since I am immune to alarm clocks.  I never really had that problem with Risperdal, but then again it didn't seem to work well for me.  I take the Seroquel for both its calming effect as well as its anti-psychotic effects (i.e. hallucinations, paranoia, etc...).  

Epic - Therapy has helped me to recognize my symptoms for what they are:  manifestations of my disorder.  This is useful because now I can see my symptoms coming from a mile away.  However, I don't think the therapy has helped in reducing or controlling my symptoms.  Also, you asked about meditation.  As a practicing Buddhist, I am well versed in meditation techniques.  Unfortunately, the meditation doesn't help with my manic symptoms.  In fact, my manic symptoms make it almost impossible to properly meditate.

SC

Aye, I understand, I have meditated since I was about 12-13 years of age, I started with TM then moved on to practicing Raja yoga (Kundalini), it's pretty hard to do now, impossible some days, barely possible on good days but when I can focus a little and actually feel the pureness and harmony inside again, even if for a brief second, it energizes me and reminds me of when life used to be somewhat peaceful and harmonious instead of all this chaos in me now, I feel so unclean inside now. I guess that is what I miss the most, is feeling whole. Makes me want to cry sometimes looking at how I have turned out compared to how I used to be. :(

I haven't had that much therapy yet sooo, I really don't know what to expect from it other than being enlightened about my condition and possibly finding triggers etc, tht's why I ask so many questions from you guys. Think this round of therapy has been going for 5 mths maybe 6 now I'm not sure anymore but this therapist is the best I have ever seen and I will stick with her till the end. I'm not trying to be a pest, just wanting to get well finally but I know tht's not going to happen, guess I'm grasping for straws in reality.

I appreciate all the feedback from you SC.

Epic - This is a great place to ask questions since we are all going through the same thing.  I certainly don't claim to know everything about bipolar disorder, but I am always happy to share my personal experiences with others.  This board helped me through a dark time, and it is nice to be able to give a little bit back while I am feeling OK.

On the therapist thing, if you have found a good one, by all means stick with her as the good ones are difficult to come by.

SC

Epic, thanks for starting this topic.  It seems to be one that interests many of us on this board.  We are having a nice discussion here and your questions have been helpful in guiding us.

Currently, I am having a rough time finding a good PRN.  I am already on 700 of Seroquel and taking extra does not do much.  I tried Risperdal as a PRN, but it just made me dizzy.  I also tried Zyprexa, but it just kept me sedated for 24 hrs.  I like to be able to function once the episode has passed.  I have also used Haldol, an old antipsychotic, but that caused a stiff jaw and other movement problems.  Benzos don't seem to be good for me as PRNs for anything other than anxiety.  They can relax you so much that you have no inhibition which can make you do even more outrageous things.  I wish breathing and meditation worked for me, but it is impossible to do those things in a mixed state.  I used to think that if I practiced on a regular basis it would be easier to apply in a difficult situation.

Katie :confused:

Katie,

I agree with you Katie hopefully this thread can help all of us discover something new. All this great feedback is very encouraging and really is helpful for all of us I think.

I was researching the net the other night and found that the sound of water can actually sooth a person, so when I go meditate I go to the fountain on the square (at night I always wondered why I eneded up there lol), thank God this is a small town (20k) or the traffic would be unbearably loud and drown it out. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, not really sure how much the sound and ionization from the fountain helps but it is quiet and even has a few bullfrogs in it, tht always makes me smile.

In the winter I resort to negative ionization and indoor lighting to try and reproduce the effect, even a simple shower can relax me some since it is negatively ionizing, guess tht's how and why I ended up in the shower the first extremely violent blackout this year.

I just don't know what meds to speak with the doc about tomorrow but these 5 mg tablets of valium aren't doing much after 14 years, the depakote IS helping but not all my symptoms, looking at all the posts here, I'm thinking possibly Seroquel but I honestly would rather be po'ed than sleep all the time. This can be really confusing eh?

Mediation?  I've tried it.  Can't keep my body or mind still enough to get through it.  Even when I'm not majorly manic...it just doesn't work.  I'm too filled with anxiety to sit and just "be".  It's a nice fantasy, though!
j2m

Not sure what to say J2M, I've been trying to reply to this post for 3 days now and my head has been going so fast I have deleted 3 attempts because they were incoherent, I went and paid bills today and just kept my mouth shut thanks to it or else I'd sound like a machinegun when I spoke.

I suffer from Mixed state bipolar and I don't understand fully what it is but I can tell you it is living hell.  I get angry so agitated my mind races and i cant sleep.  I just lash out on everyone especially my husband.  The slightest nose makes me want to pull my hair out.  I wish I could meditate but I cant seem to concentrate.

My mother had bp but she had the "happy manic" states not to imply they were all happy but I have the dysphoric states.  No med seems to work completly with me.  I have tried everything from A to z and I am currently on Lexapro, trileptal, and seroquel.  i am a completly miserable person with this and I have been on SSDI for almost 3 years now.

I agree with some of the above post, I wish they would do more research on the mixed states because it seems like more and more people suffer from them, even more then I think they report.

Melissa :O

I've been up about 6 days now Mel, soknow what ya mean. I tried everything to sleep this week, meds naturally, working out to the point of having a stroke lol, then working at night and all weekend but am I feeling like I can sleep, nope. Wide open still can't keep these stinking thoughts out of my head long enough to drift off, which makes things even more fustrating.

me.

I am sorry to hear that.  What meds do you take?  I am thinking the lexapro is causing me to have trouble sleeping.  After I take my seroquel i get drowsy so I lay down with my relaxing music playing in the background to help filter my mind.  Then it hits me and after an hour I am up, agitated, so I smoke a cig and try to lay back down.  Then it goes on like that till I finally just get up and get on the computer or something.  I don't think I have had a good night sleep in a month.

Have you ever tried listening to a relaxation tape or even really soft music it helps me some to just get my mind an even break, I put it on repeat.  Poor CD it has been playing for ever and it still works.  When I dont have racing thoughts I get songs in my head constantly and I have had this for over 3 years now.  It helps the agitation some.  Hope you can get some sleep.  Me too.  Sending positive sleep vibes your way.

Melissa ???

Just taking Depakote and valium for the disorders, was supposed to get something to help me sleep last 2 weeks but the doc has been out of town.

I've tried the music thing, I think if I just made one myself where there isn't a sudden loud volume shift somewhere in it tht it might help some, have been listening to Rush and an American Indian Flute tribal thingy the most, at least they are relaxing :)

Hope you get some winks soon. ;)

that indian flute sounds relaxing maybe i will have to look to see if i can find a cd somewhere. :)

When I get REALLY bad, nothing seems to calm me except painting and sculpting.  You might as well give me a free wall at 3 a.m. and let me at it!  Some drywall compound, a trowel, paint, brushes, a dropcloth, and let me have free reign.  Music just annoys me.  Give me a quiet house, no distractions, because there are way too many voices in my head and let me to my thoughts, which are running rampant in my brain!  I can create a masterpiece with just these tools and it's the ONLY thing that will soothe me.  Unfortunately, I am running out of walls and space... Fortunately, my best friend will let me do any wall in HER house any time I like!  

But the middle of the night doesn't always bode well with the rest of the world and to do it for night's on end wears on you after awhile... other people expect you to conform to THEIR world during the day and they just don't "get it"... these "night crawling" adventures of mine... this "need" to get it all out of myself, to release the anger.

And that's what it is, a NEED, or else I'll explode.  Epic, you're right, water will soothe me... the ocean, a fountain, a shower... the sound of water.  My T and I are contemplating my purchasing a fountain to go in the house, for just this reason.  Not only for my manic state, but for my eating disorder.  It helps me to feed myself also.  Water is very soothing to the soul.

(Nice thread, Epic.)

Great thread epic!  i should stop by the bi polar room more often!

Cat hun you make me laugh!  My room needs re done if you run out of space!   :p

Maybe that can be MY new hobby!!   :D

Seriously. music drives my head batty too. some days it is ok, but other days i need silence. i cant stand noise. I cant take it.

I need a hobby. I am board stiff. I need something to get me doing anything. Maybe i need to take up painting?

Cat i perfectly understand you night crawling adventures. I am awake too. I dont know what it is. I dont sleep during the day and yet I find myself more wide awake late at night. the later at night the more wide awake i seem to become. my senses highten. my mind races. it is weird.

Indian flute sounds?  ??? what is this?  I like under water sounds.  :)

Wow! I leave for 5 hours and 3 posts, I can't leave you guys alone! lol! I tried to sleep, think I got in 1 hour and the stupid phone rang, then someone came over, I just gave it up arrgh. Hahaha, I think I'm gonna go crazy.

The flute cd is something I purchased at a Pow-Wow, it's not really intense but actually just very peaceful and spiritual it's not overbearing, I can't find it atm, my son has ejected it and laid it somewhere, when I find it, I'll post the name of it.

I completely understand about the noise, what annoys me the most is something tht isn't in rhythm, like a dog tht barks incessantly without any discernable rhythm, cars, those stinking super stereos kids have these days (dang those kids!), car doors shutting, the ice maker, I could go on and on. I'm a musician among other things so something like Tommy Emmanual or Phil Keaggy is soothing as well, although there are sometimes I'd just as soon be quiet. I used to like Gregorian chants but considering I get them for free thanks to hallucinations sometimes, I try to avoid those now lol.   me...

Cat I have a garage tht could be maybe 3 nights work if you're interested, I'll leave the rott out there with you and he can help, he's a big baby, you'd like him. So, when ya get done with Chaos's place...

Hi Chaos :) About the water thing, I am always thinking (aren't we all), one of the things I end up thinking about is electromagnetism (absolutely no idea why), I did a search one night about how ley lines and ancient sites relate, from there I ended up learning tht electromagnetic waves create positive ionization, things like monitors, power lines, TV's, anything tht uses electicity basically create these which isn't a bad thing at low exposure but can make us feel pretty bad at high levels, even moderate exposure at what we would consider normal everyday life situations can cause us to feel bad over an extended period of time.

To counteract this, we can use negative ionization, examples of this would be a shower, a day at the beach, rain, sun, storms you get the picture. There are also negative ionization machines you can buy, some are quite pricey though. This is one reason people find water soothing. Whenever say a wave washes ashore on a beach it releases a ton of negative ions, it's the action of the wave crashing, interaction with the shore tht produces the effect. :)

Some studies have shown this to help relieve stress, anxiety and depression.

Here's a link to something with some info on it...

http://www.peakpureair.com/negative_ions.htm  

Sorry it was the best link I could find with 10 minutes till time to go.
Thanks for the compliments btw, it's looking like a team effort. :)


Btw, it's comforting to know I'm not the only one who get more alert as the night gets deeper.

Edit: Aha!   I found the CD it's called Eagle Canyon by William Gutierrez.

Gregorian chants!!!  :taz:   :D

i love gregorian chants!

and i too get them for free!   :;):  some days.... ~sigh~

thanks for all that info on water and the link. i will check that out later in the night when my brain is thinking better.

sorry that your sleep got interupted. that happens to me too. i dont often try and sleep during the day but if i try and catch a cat nap someone always wakes me up! it never fails!

thanks for the title of the CD. I like that sort of stuff so i will look into it the next time i go out. i have my underwater CD which i love. i have a few different ones actually. We have some good music stores so maybe i can find it or something similar.


I am always thinking. about stuff that other people call weird. but to me it is not weird at all. it is just normal stuff to me.

What is the underwater cd? Whales and dolphins or something different?

I am always thinking. about stuff that other people call weird. but to me it is not weird at all. it is just normal stuff to me.

Ditto! :)

Chaos, FYI, there are more informative links than the one I provided on ionization, they're just hard to find.

yea.  its whales and dolphins and sea gulls (i dont like birds but i tolerate them on this as it is minimal. lol) and waves crashing and intrumental music all blended together.  it is a solitudes cd. do you know what i mean? mostly instrumental with nature stuff blended into the background. its good.

when i was in hospital programs they were big on all that put your thoughts in a box and shut the lid stuff. yea right!  i cant do that. my mind wont calm down. i know that works for a lot of people but not for me. i am not at that point yet but i like these music cds. so it works for me. meditation and putting thoughts and what not in boxes just does not do it for me so i try and relax with these calming cds. some days i can relax with it and other days not so well. it just depends how keyed up i am.

i just have interesting interests!   :D

I wouldn't mind having something like that myself, I have one of a thunderstorm but the abrupt moments when the lgihtning strikes makes me jump out of my skin. :(

I used to love all of my soft music cds.  Lately I am so irratted and crabby especially from lack of sleep that nothing seems to sooth.  The art sculpting sounds really neat.  I used to love pottery class when I was in school a ways back.

This is what is bothering today so far.

The cat meowing.  The dog wimpering to come in my room.  The phone ringing with soliciters.  Lack of Sleep for over a week now.  I feel I am going mad.

I need a mega dose of Benzo's and I don't have any.

My shih tzu pup is so leary to come by me when I am this way.  I dont blame him.  I bit his head off for wimpering all morning.

I need some serious help.  Maybe I need a change of music the above with the water is so nice but it gets old after awhile cause I play it all the time just to keep the racing thoughts and other annoying sounds out of my head.

Does anyone else feel like they just want to punch the first person who comes near them?

I hate feeling this way.

Close to PMS'ing watch out hubby sorry to say.

Melissa ???