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Part Of The Journey

Posted by rainingviolets in rainingviolets' Blog, 12 October 2015 - - - - - - · 0 views

I am the product of an abusive, dysfunctional family. For years my family drilled into my head that I was fat, dumb, and ugly. Even though I graduated at the top of my class (a class with 1100 graduates), I believed I was dumb. Even though the scale and the size of my clothes showed I wasn't fat, I believed I was horrifically obese. Even though I had plen...


Inescapable Worthlessness

Posted by RatBoy in RatBoy's Blog, 12 October 2015 - - - - - - · 0 views


A lot of the time I try to be a real cheerleader for folks here. I believe, at core, in the potential of every human being to achieve, to participate in, and to enjoy a long and fulfilling life.

But the four most important people in my life have, in their own way, taught me that I'm somehow different - special in a bad way - that my thoughts, dream...


Entry 26

Posted by jsv121 in jsv121's Journal, 12 October 2015 - - - - - - · 0 views

Spent the weekend playing video games alone in my room. It was a fun waste. I didn't feel compelled to do any human interactions. I have put some much focus on making friends and meeting women it feels forced. Lonely but not so much that I want to go out after a long week of work. I have things to do but my motivations is gone. Tired. Maybe things will ge...


Trouble Comes Easy

Posted by samdiva in samdiva's Blog, 11 October 2015 - - - - - - · 0 views

Why is it so easy to feel low....
I can have a 100 things going good... and then 1 little thing can ruin everything....
Is there ever going to be any resilience on behalf of positivity??

I feel like I have no control over how I feel... I work so hard to get myself to feel better... and all of that unravels from the smallest of things....

I do not hav...


Mbct 4

Posted by Orso in Orso's Blog, 10 October 2015 - - - - - - · 0 views

I went this week. It was OK. I did most of the homework (at least one meditation a day). I guess I need to do more than this to feel better. The good thing is, I don't feel worse.

It's now 1 wk to the board exam and I am feeling very nervous. I try to get settled to study & I hope it will be enough. I have some acupuncture needles in right now...


Application Of Hebbian Theory

Posted by dolphin2015 in Dolphin's Blog, 10 October 2015 - - - - - - · 0 views

I think all forms of non-pharmacologic therapies actually are applications of Hebbian theory.
We can build or reinforce or modify the circuits in many ways. (i.e, to heal the mental illness) But we do need a lot of repetition in order to be successful. Eg.,
By changing the way how we think or perceive the stimuli. (Cognitive therapy)
By changing behaviors...



Posted by in the shadows in in the shadows' Blog, 09 October 2015 - - - - - - · 0 views

I feel defeated. I can't fight this battle much longer . I want to disappear.
It's no one's fault . People get tired of me , my family gets sick of me .
I keep thinking I will change but I stay the same.
The depression and paranoia and crazy thinking has destroyed my life . My self esteem is bad . I am useless .
I want to say goodbye to everyone
I'm j...


Wish Id Fall Asleep Forever

Posted by allalone6 in allalone6's Blog, 08 October 2015 - - - - - - · 0 views

Having one of those nights where I just wish I would get one random text asking "are you ok?" Cause I'm not, I wouldnt admit it to anyone, but I just need someone right now.

I get so mad at myself for even "hoping" for it cause I'm just making things worse by holding on to false hope.

I need to learn to be stronger. Losers dont deserve a caring sho...


Why Am I Still Scared?

Posted by justaguy13 in justaguy13's Blog, 07 October 2015 - - - - - - · 0 views

So we had a really good second date last night, and immediately agreed to have a 3rd date this Friday. She is going to come over to may place, cook some food then watch a film. Part of me is really looking forward to it of course, but I am still so scared and nervous of it. Why should I be scared of watching a film with someone I like and that likes me ba...


Hurt (May Trigger Self Injury)

Posted by Lady Mozzer in Lady Mozzer`s Rollercoaster Ride, 06 October 2015 - - - - - - · 0 views

***********************May Be Triggering Self Injury*******************************************************

This depression is really kicking me down right now.I try to hold it together,I keep everything inside but God do I feel like giving up sometimes.My p doc upped my Abilify and I also take latuda and alprazolam for my anxiety.I just feel tir...


Here's Me, Sort Of....

Posted by 20YearsandCounting in Grin & Bear It, 20Years!, 05 October 2015 - - - - - - · 0 views
library, libraries, work, books and 1 more...

This is my Banned Books Display, for Banned Books Week last week, September 28-October 2. I live in a conservative rural community, so whenever I put out this display, I'm always a little afraid that I will have people who will decide that challenging a particular title was a good idea for another area, so why not here? Sadly enough, the only comm...


Dream: Toby Mcguire Is My Brother

Posted by Hertz in Almost Random, 03 October 2015 - - - - - - · 0 views

I learn that somehow the actor Toby McGuire is my brother. For some reason, I believe this relationship comes from the paternal side of my family only.
I start wondering about the possibilities this fact opens up, now that I have connections with Hollywood.
Later, I'm in line in a sort of cafeteria. I pass multiple types of food and meals. I pass a chicke...


I Am Still Here

Posted by teasips in Teasips Blog, 03 October 2015 - - - - - - · 0 views

I went to the Big Bad Wolf warehouse sale.
Saw a lot of books.
Some books which I have read.
It's a reminder of my past.

My memory has deteriorated since my treatment.
I can't differentiate between a memory or a dream.
It's so unreachably faraway.

As I browsed the titles, shadow pieces of memory drew a picture in my head.
A little picture of my past.


Job Time Again

Posted by callisto in callisto's Blog, 01 October 2015 - - - - - - · 0 views

In the last year and a half I've had three jobs. Two I never started and one I had to quit after a month. Well today I got a job. It's perfect for me. I just hope I'm not in a manic phase and have to quit when depression hits again. I think I'll be okay though. I'll keep you updated. :)


Things Are Happening Too Fast

Posted by anita_123 in anita's blog, 27 September 2015 - - - - - - · 0 views

exams are coming up in 2 days and honestly, it's scaring the crap out of me. I hope i dont blank out or panic midway and lose my train of thoughts.

Anyways, things were happening too fast for the past weeks and i'm barely taking the time to reflect and actually get my ###### together????????
I'm slightly happier that i now have a puppy to actually help...


The Power Of Soundtracks

Posted by ParaDoxiPaladin in Diary Of A Media Geek, 20 September 2015 - - - - - - · 0 views

The Power Of Soundtracks Music plays a huge part in my life. It can illicit an intense emotional response. However I am incredibly particular in my tastes and something of a media critic. I have a couple of favourite bands, the top one being Nine Inch Nails, of which I have a chest tattoo tributing them. There's also Dr Steel, the 'industrial-hip-hopera' steampunk musician who dr...


A Way Forward He Journey To Earths Ends

Posted by sarahbeth24 in lioness, 19 September 2015 - - - - - - · 0 views

The past year or so iv barely got by and every day is a new struggle but I am finding light in the dark place Iv found myself.

I was living on prescription meds for some time, mainly anxiety meds and pain meds, I found they were working less and less for my health so two weeks ago I decided to come off of them.

Its been a week since iv taken any pills a...


Why Am I Such A...?

Posted by buttermybiscuit in buttermybiscuit's Blog, 17 September 2015 - - - - - - · 0 views

Right now I just really hate myself

1. I'm overthinking everything i do or say
2. Online or off i don't know how to interact with people
3. I can put up a facade for about 5 seconds and then i'm back to my cloying, annoying self
4. I AM SO NEEDY. Or something. I'm on this primarily anon message board, but it has it's fair share of members. Anyway, i'm ki...


Another List Of Things

Posted by ohgosh in ohgosh's Blog, 17 September 2015 - - - - - - · 0 views

1. I love people, generally, but almost every time I'm around them lately, I start feeling uncomfortable and stressed out.
2. I love just being alone in my room, but I feel bad, because I also like my roommates, and I don't want to be antisocial.
3. Both my jobs involve being around people all day long, which has become very stressful and exhausting.
4. I...


Outsider Of Outsiders

Posted by qwerty21 in qwerty21's Blog, 17 September 2015 - - - - - - · 0 views

I'm going to that youth activity center. It's for youth that have social or mental problems. On Friday it's someone's birthday party. It seems as though they've invited everyone except me :(

That's so funny when you think about it. Even in a group of outsiders that are usually left out of a group, I'm the only outsider out of them. The rest are insiders....

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