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If you - or someone you know - are having thoughts about suicide, call 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Calls are connected to a certified crisis center nearest the caller's location. Services are available 24 hours a day, seven days a week.                                                                            If you - or someone you know - are having thoughts about suicide, call 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Calls are connected to a certified crisis center nearest the caller's location. Services are available 24 hours a day, seven days a week.



Dream: Disappointed Therapist; Smoking

Posted by Hertz in Almost Random, 30 September 2014 - - - - - - · 0 views

1st part: I am back in therapy. It's the first session after a long while. My therapist seems discouraged about me. Disappointed. He talks to me with exasperation. I feel dread, and like I'm not supposed to be there. Like I made a terrible choice. I ask him if he is taking my return as a personal failure.
2nd part: I have a dispute with my father....


Been A While

Posted by Steel_Wolf in Steel_Wolf's Blog, 30 September 2014 - - - - - - · 0 views

its been a while since ive been here. ive been through a few episodes since. every time it feels like life isn't worth living. i don't know anymore... its hard, when you cant trust your own thoughts, because they lie to you. some people don't understand. since my last post, my parents know. ive told my best friend, and he seemed to take it, not brush it o...


Brain Dump

Posted by cjay in Help Is On The Way, 30 September 2014 - - - - - - · 0 views

:coffeebreak:   I just spent four days with my father and his wife. Though both in their 70's, they go go go while on vacation. They don't eat except a big meal at night. They drink alcohol every day.  They don't seem to need to take care of themselves. 
I, on the other hand, go to bed early, get up late, must eat three meals,...


Planning For My Departure

Posted by allalone6 in allalone6's Blog, 29 September 2014 - * * * * * · 0 views

I've been getting things sorted. Not that there was much to do, my life is pretty low key.

I cut my hours at work (not surprisingly no one noticed.. .It kinda validates my decision)

I started selling my belongings, so my parents won't have to do it.

My anxiety has kinda disappeared since the start of my "getting ready" I view it as a sign that I'm...


New Job, Old Problems

Posted by justaguy13 in justaguy13's Blog, 29 September 2014 - - - - - - · 0 views

I finally got a new job last week, after 6 years of trying. The day I found out I was really happy that someone had finally thought I was good enough for something and I was leaving my old rubbish job behind. The next day though I suddenly became really nervous that I wasn't good enough, scared of doing new things, etc. I wish I could take confidence from...


For Future Reference...

Posted by 20YearsandCounting in 20YearsandCounting's Blog, 29 September 2014 - - - - - - · 0 views

For Future Reference... Remember this the next time you see one....



Posted by qwerty21 in qwerty21's Blog, 26 September 2014 - - - - - - · 0 views

I'm having health problems still, and looks like I will be having them for the rest of my life, however long that is. I'm depressed. Things are complicated with me and my girlfriend. I would like to **** myself. It's not like I will, but I certainly wouldn't mind death. There are very few positive things in my life. Everything just seems to be going poorl...



Posted by MrMisery in Coming Back To Life, 25 September 2014 - - - - - - · 0 views

I've got a bottle here of something special. The drink of suffering artists and men who are okay with the thought of dying. I drank a lot of this a couple years ago getting over a woman, but I've got one bottle left. I detest her now, but, well, I figure I need to dispose of the bottle the only way my liver knows how.
I'm doing good. I really am. I...


Mum's Angry With Me

Posted by deepbleu in The Deep Blue Blog, 21 September 2014 - - - - - - · 0 views

Mum's angry with me.
She was worried yesterday when I didn't call or text to say I was going somewhere before I came home.
I don't see what the problem was. I told her I was coming home on Saturday and she called me on Saturday evening in tears because I'd missed her three previous phone calls and still wasn't home. I told her the...


Bad Few Days

Posted by duck in duck's Blog, 21 September 2014 - - - - - - · 0 views

1-    I had a bad cup of coffee a few days ago which made me stay awake all Thursday night. That threw my sleep off and I was so exhausted I was unable to do any of my chores. I was trying to be nice to the barista so I did not request decaf which turned out to be a huge mistake. I slept most of Friday and all Saturday. Now it is 2 am Sunday mor...


I Suspect I've Been Running Away

Posted by EnergeticSoul in So This Is Life, 21 September 2014 - - - - - - · 0 views

I suspect I've been running away from my thoughts, emotions, hopes, wants and desires. I've pushed myself away from others and have shut myself out to more than just the world, myself included. From one who thrived for creativity, knowledge and imagination, my difficulties in school, at home and in my social life had bogged me down. I was confused and all...


School Rambling

Posted by Lucciainthesky in Lucciainthesky's Blog, 19 September 2014 - - - - - - · 0 views

I've been feeling like it might be time to start thinking about getting back to school so I can get back on track to becoming eligible for my school's nursing program. I've been watching a lot of Nurse Jackie lately, and it's been bringing back my desire to become one so I can help make other people feel better (minus the whole drug addiction part).



Posted by SirDom in SirDom's Kingdom, 13 September 2014 - - - - - - · 0 views

I realized nobody reads these things... So that's cool....



Posted by james555 in james555's Blog, 05 September 2014 - * * * * * · 0 views

Except for the last 2+ months, my depression was just getting worse and worse (every since late 2010, that's how long this episode has lasted). But once I stopped taking the anti-depressants and found the right anti-psychotic (Seroquel) medicine I started to see myself stabilizing somewhat. Something about AD's, I just don't tolerate them. Regardless, it...


Great. Now I've Done It.

Posted by JD4010 in JD4010's Blog, 05 September 2014 - - - - - - · 0 views

As mentioned in my previous post, I drank like a fiend over the Labor Day weekend. Here it is Friday, and I'm still suffering from digestive issues and a profound weakness whenever I try to do anything very physical. I just walked the mile to work and broke into a sweat before I got to the office. Yeah, it's really humid out there, but that mile walk norm...


My Light Is Dark

Posted by maxedgrace in maxedgrace's Blog, 01 September 2014 - - - - - - · 0 views

Words cannot express the deep nothingness I feel.  Rather I feel something, it’s all bad, it’s all depression.  It’s all dark, sad, angry and scary.  It’s all nothing I want anyone else to ever see in me, on me, consuming me.  I’d rather you all see me sleep.  Not that I escape it when I sleep, it...


Scared To Go On Lithium

Posted by Lady Mozzer in Lady Mozzer`s Rollercoaster Ride, 29 August 2014 - - - - - - · 0 views

I saw the p doc today.Which was really hard in the first place because I always get nervous when I have to see him.It`s not because of him or anything (he`s really nice). It`s because of my I really get nervous when I have to talk to other people and leave the house. Well anyway we discussed my not sleeping and anxiety.He tells me he wants me to try lithi...


My Journey

Posted by brenn19832 in A Nice Place you Have Here, 21 August 2014 - - - - - - · 0 views

My Journey Hello there, readers. 
I have been journeying without a map and without any support for a journey that had no name.  Until yesterday.
Yesterday was a big day for me.  After years of therapy, medications, false starts, and much self-hatred, I finally found the Right Doctor.  I found her by luck, by doing a search on the...



Posted by jackotheshadow in jackotheshadow's Blog, 17 August 2014 - - - - - - · 0 views

I've been depressed for several years. I've been suicidal for most of it. In the last few years, I've been losing touch with everyone and everything. This was probably happening in the first place (perhaps one of the reasons I got depressed in the first place), but it's been getting more severe. More specifically, I've spent the last couple years avoiding...

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