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Back In The Dark

Posted by chickapea in chickapea's Blog, 25 October 2014 - - - - - - · 0 views

I'm back in that dark place. My thinking is halting and stilted.
 
I feel alone. Frustrated. This has been coming for weeks. My GP asks me what I want to do. I just want it to stop. My head hurts in ways that I can't explain. I need hugs. Lots of hugs. I need to be held and comforted and I can't tell you why. I don't want to show anyone the depths of...

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I Function Highly... And I Don't

Posted by RatBoy in RatBoy's Blog, 24 October 2014 - - - - - - · 0 views

Just for benefit of those who read my forum posts.
 
Yes, I'm pretty optimistic.  I can sound "undepressed" at times.
 
But:
 
1. During my divorce in 2001, I was as low as anybody.  Hospitalized for three weeks sans belt and shoelaces.  I was convinced that my life was truly over - I was 43 at the time, and convinced that si...

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Welcome To The World

Posted by rainingviolets in rainingviolets' Blog, 24 October 2014 - * * * * * · 0 views

Once upon time ~long, long ago ~ a man and woman welcomed a baby daughter into their lives. She was their first child, and like most new parents, they were thrilled to start their family. The father, or so I am told, was so awed by the birth of his child that he laid her on the bed, unwrapped all the blankets, and examined all of her fingers and all of he...

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Where Should I Live?

Posted by duck in duck's Blog, 24 October 2014 - - - - - - · 0 views

I was in Toronto for the past two weeks and I  had some good time because many of my friends and family live there. This has been my third trip since July. I would like to move from my current home town Edmonton to Toronto for at least one year. It will be different for me and I will be with people who love me.  In Edmonton I currently have only...

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Hate

Posted by Seuss in Seuss' Blog, 22 October 2014 - - - - - - · 0 views

Longer than I can remember I've always been the good guy, always striving to take the high road.  I've always put others first and all they've done for me is slip another knife in my back.  It wasn't until I met my now girlfriend(my future wife)that I truly felt loved, felt like I didn't have to be anything but myself.  What an amazing real...

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Break-Up

Posted by qwerty21 in qwerty21's Blog, 22 October 2014 - - - - - - · 0 views

So my gf left me to be with another guy. I cut myself so that it bled a tiny bit, but still very superficial. Might develop a scar though. I just see no point in living. I might cut myself again and maybe strike a major artery, not likely though. She told me she'd be my friend still, and I actually maybe do want that. I just want someone to be with me, no...

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How Did I Get Here?

Posted by allalone6 in allalone6's Blog, 22 October 2014 - - - - - - · 0 views

Do you ever wonder where you went wrong? How you ended up at this awful time in your life? How you managed to lose it all in the process?
 
I lay on my couch every night wondering. How did I let the depression get so far gone? How come I'm not stronger? How come everyone left? How come those I confided in all think its about will power and...

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Weary

Posted by in the shadows in in the shadows' Blog, 20 October 2014 - - - - - - · 0 views

I am becoming weary, here i am with another cold , my immune system is shot, and i catch whatever is going around,
i started feeling sick yesterday, and this morning i got up with a fever and headache, and now a sore throat, i  am so tired
of being ill or having some issue with my health, i ask myself why take the HIV pills, it doesn't seem to b...

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Failing School

Posted by law055car in law055car's Blog, 19 October 2014 - - - - - - · 0 views

So this past summer I put ally into daycare at the age of 13 and she can not be left alone. Its been a up and down summer I see she is getting better but she still lies to me and I don't fully trust her. I am sick of hearing I'm sorry and nothing changes. She spent a weekend at DYR its a horse ranch and then a month latter we went there for a mother daugh...

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The Confusion Sets In

Posted by MrMisery in Coming Back To Life, 18 October 2014 - - - - - - · 0 views

I guess I need help, and I don't know how to say that. I don't know that I should say that.
 
I wont throw my hands in the air and expect someone else to fight my battles for me. But I'm scared.
 
Everything is going well - for once, and at long last, I am who I always wanted to be. My conscience is clear, I am sober, I am a good positive force...

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Dream: Martial Arts, Boots

Posted by Hertz in Almost Random, 17 October 2014 - - - - - - · 0 views

Part 1: I'm drinking with family and friends. I'm feeling a little bit drunk. As I'm leaving I kiss my mom on the cheeks, but her coldness makes me feel uneasy. I exit the house and approach a car where three people are sitting, almost ready to leave. One of them is an old friend of mine. They are in a good mood. I tell them about the party. They tell me...

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Life On The Couch

Posted by cjay in Help Is On The Way, 16 October 2014 - - - - - - · 0 views

Life On The Couch  
 
 
 
I made this pretty picture from my couch. I drink tea from my couch. I talk to my friend in Phoenix every week from my couch. I shop from my couch. I correspond with my husband when he is out of town in chat-rooms from my couch. I read the news, watch movies, pray, research, encourage, learn, cry, get angry, call the post-off...

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A Poem

Posted by 20YearsandCounting in 20YearsandCounting's Blog, 16 October 2014 - - - - - - · 0 views

A Poem when it rots my bones
the pattern is beautiful
and takes your breath away

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The Ish Hit The Fan

Posted by JellyBear1360 in Another Day In Paradise, 15 October 2014 - - - - - - · 0 views

Its been a terrible year so far! As well as dealing with my own crappy opinion of myself, the breakdown of my relationship and the fact that I'm getting nowhere in life...I've also had to cope with my dear uncles death and health issues coming to a head.
 
But today....(this is going to be a massive ramble and most likely a mess! I'm not in the best...

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Kali Is Sleeping

Posted by T on C in T on C's stuff, 15 October 2014 - - - - - - · 0 views

Since I'm another newly adopted human trying to add an entry to a well worn blog...she's walking on the keyboard with that "so what, I'm superior" look that those of us who have seen many times. Then she crashes on the robe near the bed.
Gotta start this with some humor. The rest is sad.
 
Ever known someone who is starcrossed? Bad luck at every bend...

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Joining The Forums

Posted by Turbo in Turbo's Blog, 09 October 2014 - - - - - - · 0 views

Yesterday was my first day on the depression forums. It was quite the experience, given that I've only met one other person who acknowledged that they were depressed.

It is amazing and reassuring to me to see so many people who share the same illness as I do. I don't mean it to be amazing in a way that's like "oh cool! I'm so glad all these people are de...

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My Own Worst Enemy

Posted by apple_bloom in apple_bloom's Blog, 09 October 2014 - - - - - - · 0 views

It wasn't supposed to be this way. It was supposed to be a clean slate. I was supposed to get the life I wanted for myself. No red tape, no exceptions. No more having my life dictated to me by what other people want and need. No more relying on other people to do what I should be doing for myself. No more being trapped.

I failed. Plain and simple. I fai...

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10/8/2014

Posted by Ediskrad in Ediskrad's Blog, 08 October 2014 - - - - - - · 0 views

Every day I become a little less visible. I haven't even found any support here so I feel stupid posting on the forums anymore.
 
I feel like crying randomly throughout the day but hold it in until I go home. Then I cry in the car. Until my fiance gets home, I cry some more when the urge arises. I'm tired, my jaw is clenching again - a sure sign that...

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I Will Get Better.

Posted by Rexxsi in Phoenix Rising☾, 08 October 2014 - - - - - - · 0 views

- I WILL get better. 
 
- I WILL make things right again. 
 
- I WILL keep the promises I made to myself, as they make up the fact that I will RISE AGAIN out of the ashes and kick life in the butt. 
 
- I WILL stick to my daily plans, as completing them are evidence of my life changing for the better. 
 
- I WILL NO...

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My First Real Encounter With Financial Hardship

Posted by jackotheshadow in jackotheshadow's Blog, 07 October 2014 - - - - - - · 0 views

I've always been aware that I've been relatively wealthy. Among most people I've known, I've actually had less-than-average funds, but in the world as a whole, I'm really rich. This isn't super relevant though, because I only bring this up because I'm babbling in some short-sighted attempt to give context. I didn't think this through. I guess what I'm try...



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