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Realizing I Was A Depressed Child; Memories Of An Unhappy Little Girl.

Posted by neurotic_lady89 in Christina's Blog (neurotic_lady89), 26 January 2015 - - - - - - · 0 views

 I was a Depressed Child? ... I think so.
 
 Interestingly, talking on DF made me come to a realization: I probably WAS depressed as a young child . I know childhood depression is overlooked, and may be uncommon (I really don't know), but for years I said that anxiety hit me at age 7 but depression waited until age 12. I picked that year...

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I Did It This Time.

Posted by No1Cares in My Venting Place, 25 January 2015 - - - - - - · 0 views

I applied for one of my 2 dream jobs today. The positions don't come up to often. I never did it last year when it came around, but this year I did it. It is still open to internal bidding until mid Feb, so I probably won't know anything until the end of February. The pre employment testing doesn't start until March, interviews in April/May, projected sta...

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Mixed Up Again - May Be Triggering

Posted by 20YearsandCounting in 20YearsandCounting's Blog, 25 January 2015 - - - - - - · 0 views

Mixed Up Again - May Be Triggering I found this on Pinterest, BTW.  I'm really not getting much done today.  I've spent the last few hours on YouTube watching JohnLock videos and a few music videos of songs I'd never heard before.  I nearly cried a few times, which for me is a big deal.  I guess you could say I did, a few tears I didn't want my youngest to see.  Wh...

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Still Kicking... Maybe.

Posted by Steel_Wolf in Steel_Wolf's Blog, 25 January 2015 - - - - - - · 0 views

A coat of silver
and a crown of gold.
but soon
a coat of red
and a crown of gold
means nothing.
 
ill let ya think on that while i ramble on.
 
first of all, i don't know if ive ever felt more depressed. i don't eat all that much. that fun, lost 10 pounds by sitting on the couch. im pretty sure im hated by everyone. not their fault though,...

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Coming Back To Life

Posted by MrMisery in My Life, 24 January 2015 - - - - - - · 0 views

A dim sense of fortitude welling up from a long forgotten place deep within.

Have faith in me.

I'm coming back to life, I promise.

I'm hurting really bad right now, though I know I'm not the only one.

There are reasons that keep me going, give my limbs strength when they should fail.

There's beauty in this world, things worth fighting for.

Look at w...

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Just Jabbering

Posted by JaLee in JaLee, 24 January 2015 - - - - - - · 0 views

I realized somethig yesterday that really bothers me. What if I go through therapy and get past all the horrible things from my past, and I am still depresed, paranoid and neurotic? If my brain doesn't make the right chemicals, is it because I obsess over my past or is it because my brain is defective. I was thinking once I got through therapy I would be...

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Self Help Doesnt Work For Losers

Posted by allalone6 in allalone6's Blog, 23 January 2015 - - - - - - · 0 views

So I tried to help myself. Usually when I'm this low, I can't even think straight to reach out for help or have it in my head that no one will care so i don't bother. Well it really is true.

I texted an individual, asking to go for drinks. that was all, i never mentioned anything else. She never answered, that was 3 days ago.

Im such a friendless loser.

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I Love My New Pdoc

Posted by Shmooey in Shmooey's Fort, 23 January 2015 - - - - - - · 0 views

So I commented on someone's blog today to not be afraid to fire their pdoc if the pdoc desperately needed it....and so I wanted to write more on my own blog about how things are going with my new one.
 
I saw her for the third time today (we are having a lot of sessions up front because I am on short term disability through my employer).  We tal...

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Darkness Visible

Posted by Maverick7777 in Maverick7777's Blog, 23 January 2015 - - - - - - · 0 views

william styron, the well-known author, wrote what he called a 'memoir of madness' entitled darkness visible .
 
i had read his novels, seen the screen adaption of one, but had never read this until i found myself desperately searching for some kind of answer for the depression/anxiety conundrum.  i then read his 'letters' that came out last year...

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Another Lonely Night

Posted by in the shadows in in the shadows' Blog, 23 January 2015 - - - - - - · 0 views

Another night of feeling useless and suicidal, the thoughts of SH have been filling my mind, along with the paranoid feelings,
i have been taking it day by day , trying to not dwell on the issues  that bother me, some days are better than others,
living here with my sister is starting to get to me, i wish i was back at my own apartment, i really feel...

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Poem Time!!!

Posted by bellbottoms in bellbottoms' Blog, 22 January 2015 - - - - - - · 0 views

Does anyone care
For some grated Gruyére?
I'm just a piece of cheese
For you to slice as you please
 
*
 
One for my sister
One for my brother
The damage is done
What harm is another?

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7-11 Crunch

Posted by T on C in T on C's stuff, 21 January 2015 - - - - - - · 0 views

Pretty sad. Went to the neighborhood store and realized I was crunching on plastic pens with brillo pad pieces. Must have been dumped a while back and the rain washed them out...gross. And this is life in a small town.
 
But on the plus there's a lot of naval activity in the area, I think a Carrier is in. Good bucks for the local biz, stay safe every...

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Jan 19 2015

Posted by duck in duck's Blog, 19 January 2015 - - - - - - · 0 views

i have been on Abilify now for two months.  i think i am feeling better but who knows this could be temporary.   i am seeing my psychiatrist twice a month and he now says i am bi polar.  i have to agree with him because i get mood swings or at least i used to have severe mood swings prior to taking Abilify.    
 
I am having...

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No More Dinners, No More Of Anything

Posted by msunderstood in msunderstood's Blog, 17 January 2015 - - - - - - · 0 views

Ever since his sister moved in, she has had these Sunday dinners which include his mom, her, and the couple who lives down the street who despise me. On New Years his sister made dinner reservations for everyone except me and my son. It broke my heart ten times to have to tell my son we couldn't go to dinner with them. He loves my boyfriend, and likes his...

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Cat Drama Fml

Posted by MinaTastic in Stay positive, Mina!, 16 January 2015 - - - - - - · 0 views

Dear blog.....

It's been a while!
How am I doing?
Well, I'm pretty stressed right now because we have a new cat.
Usually I'd be overjoyed about this, but there's a catch....two, actually.

1.  She, Persefone, doesn't get along with our other cat, Schrodinger, so we have to keep her in a room with her kitty stuff so that she'll feel safe and happy wh...

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Dream: Mariah Carey

Posted by Hertz in Almost Random, 14 January 2015 - - - - - - · 0 views

Dream:
I see Mariah Carey completely nude, lying on her back. To remove a tumor, she starts cutting off her right breast with scissors herself. There is no blood and she doesn't feel any pain.
 
Interpretation:
A feminine part of myself is cutting away a deleterious influence from my mother. It's less painful than I would have thought.

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A Daughter's Betrayal

Posted by rainingviolets in rainingviolets' Blog, 12 January 2015 - - - - - - · 0 views

How much sadness can one heart take
Before it crumbles into pieces and completely breaks?
How many tears can two eyes cry
Until, swollen and red, they finally run dry?
How much pain can cut through my life
I wonder as I struggle to remove the knife
Of all the heartaches, of all of the scars
This new one hurts deeper, much deeper by far
It...

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Jan. 5, 2015 - Grateful

Posted by FizzBomb in FizzBomb's Journal, 06 January 2015 - - - - - - · 0 views

I am grateful. Out of of the generations upon generations of people, I have been born into this one. While my ancestors fought nature daily for every scrap of food they could get, I am live a perfectly sheltered life and am given such an abundance of food it is literally starting to **** me. While they died in agony from easily preventable and treatable d...

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:suicide

Posted by greyromblues in greyromblues' Blog, 04 January 2015 - - - - - - · 0 views

I'm scared. I read suicides most commonly occur in the early hours of the morning, and it's the early hours of the morning now. I've searched and searched for a suicide chat service, but they're all offline. I can't call a service. I'm 21, I'm staying at my parents' house for the holidays. They'll hear me. They'll be so scared.
 
I want to die so bad...

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Body Talk On Df

Posted by whatchagonnado in whatchagonnado's Blog, 03 January 2015 - - - - - - · 0 views

So I am just going to put it out here.  I get ticked-off when some people talk about how they wish to change their body ( if even possible ) do it in a way that trashes other types of bodies.  Perhaps they don't realize that when they talk about a nicer body...a more attractive body...a better body, they go beyond the point of just mak...



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