If you - or someone you know - are having thoughts about suicide, call 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Calls are connected to a certified crisis center nearest the caller's location. Services are available 24 hours a day, seven days a week. If you - or someone you know - are having thoughts about suicide, call 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Calls are connected to a certified crisis center nearest the caller's location. Services are available 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
Some time when the river is ice ask me
mistakes I have made. Ask me whether
what I have done is my life. Others
have come in their slow way into
my thought, and some have tried to help
or to hurt: ask me what the difference
their strongest love or hate has made.
I will listen to what you say.
You and I can turn and look...
So, husband came home after work, and I was making dinner. (He's the one with a passion for cooking, so he usually makes dinner when he's home. I knew I'd be home first though, so I told him I'd cook) He seemed withdrawn, anxious, and frustrated. He asked when dinner was going to be ready, because he was going to go to a restaurant...
in Seuss' Blog,
03 March 2015 -
All I ever wanted was to have have a family.....to be a good husband.....a good daddy.....to love and to be loved.......I thought that this was a simple and realistic dream. I wanted to be remembered as the big guy with a big heart and a laugh that could be heard down the street. As I watch this dream smoldering in the void that has become my...
My ex-gf came to visit me. I realised that my main goal in life right now is to get back together with her. And I don't know when this feeling will pass. It's been four months since she left me. She says that she would consider getting back together with me if I gained like 13 kilos of weight. I am terribly underweight right now. My problem is that I feel...
Let me preface this by saying that I'm not about to write all of this because I want to wallow in self-pity. And I am most certainly not trying to bring anyone down. I'm doing this because it's high time that I take an honest look at what my depression has cost me, and those I love. I hope to gain a little perspective through this endeavor....
I'm looking at a comic strip, like the ones in newspapers. It's made of a single panel. On top, I there is a woman who is about to catch a man who is coming towards her on a trapeze. Below, there is a man doing the same thing as her, with another man on another trapeze. There is a thought balloon above her head. She is thinking that the man beside her is...
So I had a reprieve when my pdoc entered March 1 as my back to work date. But I'm nowhere near ready to return. My tdoc has taken over the paperwork since I see him more than I do her. He submitted an extension to June 1 last week. I'm really hoping it comes through because I am not in any shape to try to work and I would hate to w...
I am still getting sick from the meds, the vomiting and fevers, and weakness are still hitting me, but I am hoping that I will adjust to them soon,
and hoping they will fight the infection and work, They have to , I am running out of other pills to try, and I just cant take this much longer,
I am becoming homeward bound it seems, not going out and walking...
in Dusty's Place,
20 February 2015 -
From my home in central New Jersey, the turnpike and I-195 run north and south, and east and west respectively. I'm able to travel the pike from the surrounding flat corn fields to one of either two big cities on the east coast or jump on 195 east, to the enjoy the bay and beaches or head west to the quietness of country mountains. It's a fun place to liv...
So, as always, the people I choose to admire turn out to be some of the most messed up people around. This hurts because I relate to these people for a reason--I'm just like them, have the same flaws, the same weaknesses, the same *horrid* personalities, but yet I think they're defendable, because, well, I'm bad, but I'm not *that* bad, am I?
I think that the entire concept of actually having someone in your life, who cares for you, who knows you, who you can let it all out to, who you can hold and will hold you.... its got me really depressed cause i don't think ill ever find someone like that.
"That's one deep, dark nothing you got there. Can't fill it, can you? Not with food or drink. Not even with sex. Oh, you can smirk and joke and lie to yourself, but not to me! I can see inside you. I can see how broken you are, how defeated. You can't win, and you know it. But you just keep fighting. Just... keep going through the motions. You're not hung...
in duck's Blog,
11 February 2015 -
Another day ahead in this pathetic world. I slept most of Tuesday and woke up at 2 am full of energy. This is not going well. Earlier in the evening a friend called me to meet him for coffee but I had to turn him down because I was do tired.
This Friday I have an appointment with my psychologist however, I am thinking of cancellin...
I was relatively productive yesterday, i got up and did stuff
Today i didnt :( i overslept till about 12 so i didnt make it into college today, but im trying to make up for that by catching up on all the work i havnt done.
I feel ill too, ive a sore throat and blood in my spit
And im in dire need of a shower, i havnt showered properly since last friday, t...
I really really want to go on a date. I don't even really mind who it is with. There is a girl at work I would like to get to know more, but she is kind of my boss and is not interested in me at all, as usual. I want to feel like a man, like an adult, and go on a date with someone. Just take them out for a meal, or a drink, or go to the cinema. I want to...
It's so toxic I just can't explain. If I don't get a call for at least the testing for the job I mentioned in my previous post, I don't know what I'll do. And I know the odds are stacked against me being hired, but I keep trying to be positive about it. I keep telling myself that if I make it to the interview stage, if I can nail that, I've got half a cha...