My Story

Posted by BlondeConscience, Nov 4 2009, 01:59 PM

This is the story of what happened to me when I was only eleven years old. If you never knew this about me its because Ive only remembered bits and pieces of it untill now and I dont like to remember it. I was molested by my own grandfather.
[NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED TO PROTECT THE IDENTITY]

My mothers real father hadnt been in my moms life untill she was about twenty six or so and I was already born. She had to basically look for him. He had been in prison for years. So when my mom divorced my father and married my stepfather and then divorced him, he visited alot and I started going to his house alot to visit with him and his wife in New Palestine, Indiana. My mom had stopped talking to him because of a money issue but I was still visiting him on the weekends. He had vast forests around his house so when I was over, I was always outside. I loved being there. He had cats and cable and he was just plain fun. At this time, I was eleven years old. One weekend I was at my grandfathers house to visit and he was acting very strange around me. He had always been odd around me, since we hadnt always been close but not to this degree. He had always been a little too touchy feely with me while noone was around, making me sit on his lap in my nightgown and showing me how the animals mated with his hips. Me being very young, I didnt understand why or that his behavior wasnt normal. That weekend all he did was talk to me about sex and how his wife and he would have sex. I knew this was strange but I figured that he was just telling me adult things. Sunday night came and as him and I were waiting on his wife to get home from work, he did something he had never done before. He held me down with his hands on my wrists down on the couch and kissed me so hard on my lips that I almost passed out. Then, he asked me if I wanted him to do anything to me. I was so surprised by what he had done that I said, "Please dont" in a soft whisper and he let go. I had no clue what had happened and why he had done this to me but I knew then that I should tell someone. Right then I heard a car pull up in the driveway and saw his wife get out. My grandpa was immidiately up greeting her at the door while eyeing me behind her back with wide eyes and a nod to not say anything. I said my goodbyes to her and got my coat and got in the car. He got in the car about five minutes later. He said nothing to me. The ride was quiet for about twenty minutes untill he leaned over and got a sticky note pad of pink paper and slapped me in the mouth with it. I immediately started crying baffled as to why he did this. He didnt say anything. It was silent the rest of the way home. When he pulled up to my house I put on my smile and hugged him just in case my mother was looking out the window, leaned over the seat to get my bag in the back and got out. At first, I walked slowly up to the steps in order to not give him any idea that I would tell. I didnt want to look back either. But when I reached the doorknob I was in so fast I almost shut my own hand in the door. My mom greeted me at the door with a hug and the usual, "Howd it go?" To my surprise I didnt say anything at first, then I said, "It was fun, we bulit a scarecrow." I looked up as soon as I said this to see if she had bought it. She did. On my way to my room I started balling. Once in the door I threw my things on the bed and headed to a corner of the room where I slowly slid down and folded my knees to my chin and cried. I remembered quickly that Im not very good at hiding when Ive been crying so I jumped to my feet. I fanned my eyes frantically untill my mom knocked on the door. She didnt usually just walk in which was a good thing at this point. Frozen, I managed to get out the word "yes?" She replied, "Hey just wanted to tell you John is coming to drop off your sister and hes ten minutes away." "K," I said, with a dull voice. I was careful to continue standing there to hear the board creek in the floor in the hall when someone walks on it. When I was sure she was gone, I closed my eyes and silently dropped to my knees in the spot I stood, racking my brain on what to do next. Then I opened my eyes. I stood up and turned on my radio in hopes of some form of relaxation then sat on the endge of my bed to wait. About 5 minutes had past when My mom yelled, "Theyre here!" and I heard the back door slam. My head popped up and I was on my feet again. I went to my door but just stood there. I wasnt sure what my plan was. I wanted to tell someone but this was the worst time and I couldnt talk to my mother alone untill my sister had gone to sleep. I slowly opened the door and went down the hall into the kitchen and out the back door where my mother already was getting my sister out of the van and talking to my stepfather. I could see their breath. I walked out to them and got in the van to keep warm while they were talking to eachother. My sister hugged me as soon as she saw me and John said, "Hey Kid." I said, "Hey" and sat back in the seat to wait while everyone gave hugs and kisses. Then I started to tear up and think about what had happened and all that could happen if I told. I wasnt scared but for some reason I didnt want to tell either. I felt like I should keep it to myself but my emotions got the best of me and I broke right then and there. In a low voice I said, "John, I have to tell you something." My mom and John both looked up and replied, "What?" I told them to cover my little sisters ears and I then I started to tell them both everything that had happened that weekend and all the other things he had always done. After about twenty minutes went by, my stepfather was yelling at the top of his lungs and ready to go beat up my grandpa and my mother was crying and holding me. We all sat in the van in the alley behind our house crying for what seemed like hours listening to the vans engine in the quiet alley. Finally, my stepfather said he was going to leave and go home and think about what they could legally do and my mother, sister and I went inside the house. My mom put Emily to bed and sat with me on the couch while I told her over and over again what my grandpa did that day and all the other times. She decided to call my father and tell him what happened and ask him if he could stop by and talk to me about it but once on the phone with him, he said he had plans with his wife that night that couldnt be cancled. My mom said, "Whatever" and hung up the phone on him. As soon as she put the phone on the charge, I was crying again but this time I felt like I had a huge hole in my chest. I had just been through one of the most traumatic experiences of my life and my own father said he had plans and couldnt come and even talk to me about it. I eventually went to my room to deal with the pain and cry my heart out. My mother barrowed my stepfathers van that next week driving back and forth to Greenfield,Indiana to prosecute and press charges. They even took pictures of the marks on my wrists and they said they knew something happened judging by the marks on me but not to follow through on taking him to court because there was no penetration and because they couldnt protect us from my grandfather because we did not live in Hancock County.