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Jumper

Posted by apple_bloom , 28 March 2013 -

· 197 views

I did it. I moved 2,000 miles across the country. I left my family and friends behind, everything familiar to me. New city, new job, new life.

My emotions have been running high the past few weeks. I had to prepare for the move: clean through my stuff, pack my things, spend time with family. My mind was so focused on getting everything together and makin...

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The Dog Days Are Over

Posted by apple_bloom , 16 February 2013 -

· 232 views

Thursday. Valentine's Day, of all days, a ridiculous commercial holiday that I hate. I received an email from a company I applied for out in Denver a few weeks ago. I'd spoken with the hiring manager last Friday in an impromptu phone interview; they said they would get back to me if they wanted an in-person interview. Well, they do. Of course I was s...

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A Cruel Joke

Posted by apple_bloom , 08 February 2013 -

· 114 views

Sometimes I get to the point where I just want to rage and hate the world. Today is one of those days. It's the kind of day that's been precipitated by ongoing stress and triggers, over and over again, to the point where I'm exhausted and want to give everyone a big "F*** you." I'm a mess of exhaustion, sadness, and anger, all rolled up into a tangled bal...

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Welcome To The New Age

Posted by apple_bloom , 26 January 2013 -

· 218 views

The new year has started off in a whirlwind. It all started with getting a Facebook message from someone from my past: A, my former best friend growing up. Several years ago, she and I had a huge falling out and I hadn't seen or spoken to her for almost five years. The day after New Year's, she sent me a message apologizing for everything. My jaw lit...

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Bleed Like Me

Posted by apple_bloom , 02 January 2013 -

· 233 views

All I wanted to do this morning was lie in bed and cry. I hate New Year's, even more than Thanksgiving and Christmas. Every year I've looked back and thought, "Wow, that year sucked. I hope this one is better." But it's never better - only worse. This time, there was no hope, only despair as I wonder just how much worse things will get for me.Being with J...

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Under Pressure

Posted by apple_bloom , 26 December 2012 -

· 216 views

The holiday is finally over. This was quite possibly the least enjoyable, most stressful Christmas I have ever experienced. That's not to say I didn't enjoy the time with J and his family - I would say that the holiday was enjoyable enough given the circumstances. But with everything going on, my emotions have just been churning inside me,...

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She Dreamed Of Paradise

Posted by apple_bloom , 10 December 2012 -

· 109 views

I've had so many things on my mind lately. Maybe it's because the year is drawing to an end and so many things are still uncertain. All the concerns I have for my life just keep piling up, one by one.

Money has become a huge issue. Again. I'm trying to do my best to help my mother with bills and food, but what I do manage to give her is...

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Rabbit Heart

Posted by apple_bloom , 29 November 2012 -

· 166 views

All I can think right now is, "What have I gotten myself into?"

I thought I was ready for this. I was ready to move on. I spent eight years of my life in a relationship, engaged and all. I expected him to be the only one, the person I would spend the rest of my life with. Everything was planned around that one fact of my life, before it was all...

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Cleaning Out My Closet

Posted by apple_bloom , 26 November 2012 -

· 183 views

It's no surprise that I'm writing this entry. It was only a matter of time.

I have never gotten along with my mother. There have been rare, brief periods of time when her and I can retain a decent level of civility towards each other, but it's never lasted long. A few months, tops. She is the only person in my life who can set off my anxiety...

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It's Never Simple

Posted by apple_bloom , 22 November 2012 -

· 105 views

It's one of those times where I'm just not sure how I feel.

I don't know what more to say than that. I honestly don't know how I feel about this situation, or even what it is I'm feeling. I'm not a fan. Part of me just wants to stay cool and rational and let reasoning solve the matter. No muss, no fuss.

I don't know if...

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