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Shmooey's Fort

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Archive

How Do You Ground Yourself?

Posted by Shmooey , 17 June 2013 -

· 122 views

I'm wondering if anyone has ideas as to how to ground myself when I start dissociating and losing my grip that it's actually today and not 20 or 30 years ago. I have been repeating "it's June of 2013" like a mantra some days when I'm really overwhelmed, but I would like some other suggestions.

I wear a silver cross that I try to use as a remi...

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8 Comments

61513

Posted by Shmooey , 15 June 2013 -

· 130 views

Got through another 40 hour work week. Barely. I slept 15 hours again - 12 hours and then another 3 1/2 in the afternoon. It's the only way I know how to survive through this.

I think the bosses at work think I can do more than I can. I have my concerns about this permanent job they want to apply for. They want...

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3 Comments

Wow. Really?

Posted by Shmooey , 06 June 2013 -

· 177 views

I got called into a meeting today. I walked into the room and there was our associate director plus two assistant directors. Of course, with my switching episode that happened a couple of days ago, I'm thinking, oh sh*t. I'm in trouble.

Nope. They want to hire me full time.

They talked with the director of the...

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6 Comments

Well, I Guess It Was Really Just A Matter Of Time...

Posted by Shmooey , 04 June 2013 -

· 111 views

...before I switched in front of a co-worker. Me being me, and having to do everything on a grand scale, did it in front of an assistant director.

I don't remember what happened. She was in my cube, advising me on how to answer a question I got on my e-mail, and then I "woke up" and she wasn't there anymore. I have no idea...

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9 Comments

Unstable

Posted by Shmooey , 02 June 2013 -

· 165 views

That's the perfect word for how I feel this week. Unstable. The Abilify is controlling the paranoia about co-workers and people I come across berating me, but I don't think anything will ever get rid of my delusion that I am being followed/watched constantly by good and dark aliens. I always feel threatened. I'm even back to dreami...

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6 Comments

Hard Day

Posted by Shmooey , 27 May 2013 -

· 119 views

Had a difficult day today. Switching a lot. Feeling disorientated. Not ready to go to work. Ready for Chris to come home tomorrow though. I can't ground when I am home alone, I need help to do it...and I have been alone since last Tuesday morning.

Had the strange dream I wrote about on the DID forum here. Slept a...

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5 Comments

So Quiet, It's Kind Of Eerie, Actually

Posted by Shmooey , 25 May 2013 -

· 179 views

Well, the higher dose of Abilify is definitely helping. I started it Tuesday morning. By today, I noticed that it's so quiet in my head, it's almost eerie. I even felt a slight ringing in my ears for part of the day. Nothing I can't handle, but I was wondering if that's always there but I'm usually so caught up in hearing voices th...

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6 Comments

It's Helping. Hallelujah.

Posted by Shmooey , 23 May 2013 -

· 151 views

The increase to 20 mg of Abilify is knocking out the psychosis. THANK GOD!!!

I have not hallucinated in the past two days, and my paranoia is improved. I did not freak out earlier today when someone was fast approaching behind me. Normally that sets me off and makes me feel threatened, like they are chasing me and are going to att...

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7 Comments

Double Whammy

Posted by Shmooey , 21 May 2013 -

· 177 views

Saw my pdoc for half an hour today and took all of that scheduled time.

Got raised from 10 mg to 20 mg of Abilify. He wanted to be more "aggressive" considering my current state of mind. Apparently 20 mg of Abilify is equivalent to 60/60 of Geodon. I thought it would be 80/80 since there is 15 mg in between, but he says it's about...

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3 Comments

Almost Tuesday At 8 A.m....

Posted by Shmooey , 19 May 2013 -

· 178 views

I have been gritting my teeth through the last work week, and now I am set to grit 'em again to get through tomorrow and to my pdoc appointment on Tuesday at 8 a.m. I will have my Abilify with me, so if he prescribes a higher dose, I can take it immediately from my existing supply until I go to the pharmacy to pick it up. I suspect they will n...

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5 Comments