Sick For Days

I've been having a fibro flareup for several days now - have no idea what I could possibly have done to bring it on, and this one's hanging around, refusing to leave. Fevers, throbbing, aching, and the fatigue..... I'm sick of it all. It's drug my mood down as well. I'm so sick of it all, I'm sick of complaining about it, I'm sick of feeling bad and not complaining about it because nobody listens or gets it, I'm sick of battling at least one monster every day for years... I had a few good days a few weeks ago, and got my hopes up that things would improve, that all the crap I was doing was helping, only to get slapped down again. Sometimes I wonder why I bother because the few good days never last long before it all starts again. If it's not the fibro, it's the depression, or the anxiety. I get the medicines right for one thing, and they're off for another..... I'm burning up right now, but I don't have any symptoms of another illness, just the fibro.

I had a dream today, one that I've had before, where my parents, my aunt and uncle, and I were gathering for a holiday at Mrs. P's house, though she's gone now. I haven't even driven past her house since she passed, the nightmares were enough of a reminder. I always feel depressed after having that dream. I've also had some dreams about being back in school, and several times of moving to Georgia when I was a kid - all stuff from the past. I dunno, I've been unsettled for so long and I keep having these dreams about the past. I've had the feeling sometimes lately that more changes are going to come, maybe that's what's bringing up the past. I'm afraid to think what the changes will be.

It's hard to look on the bright side with dark adapted eyes.