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I Like Reading Books.
Posted by
Tymothi
,
14 May 2012
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205 views
And the sad thing is, I've always been a painfully slow reader. I retain more than most, but take ten times longer to get through something. It's unfortunate. Once, I took a speed reading class, and the guy was unable to help me. It was just sad. I think it's OCD-related sometimes. I have to re-read pages out of sheer compulsion. Pitiful.
So now, in addition to not getting the time to write my own books, I am overwhelmed by books I want to read and likely never will. Oh, and most of the ones I wish I could read are at a friend's house 800 miles away, cluttering her life with my missing sections of soul. Sigh. I'm so sorry, FV. I don't know how to reclaim things. I have no help whatsoever. My mother didn't even answer her phone when I called yesterday. I swear I'll find a way to make it right, by myself. Don't give up on me.
In happier news, I had [until the critical abdominal pains settled in for the rest of the day, evening, and night] a blissful few hours walking around the Wildlife State Prairie Park with a very special person in my life. It felt, like, normal. She didn't do facebook the entire time we were there. She didn't talk on the phone or text people or anything. We just walked. I held her hand. I don't know how to explain it, because almost every minute of every day is an exercise in dealing with emergencies and crises. To just be, with the person I love.... It brought a surprising level of joy to my heart. We watched the eagles and the wolves and held up our hands to block out the sight of the fences, just to pretend everything around was natural. We didn't need to talk. I love the way she smells after being outside all day. It made me happy to see her smile. Especially with no children around.
And I like my new Ravi Shankar CDs. Immensely. He's right; drugs just cloud the spirit, contort the mind. Aspiration. Heavenward. No wonder he doesn't perform much in America. Most Americans couldn't stop doing drugs long enough to appreciate it. They're really missing out; but then again, most Americans are missing out on a lot of things. I love Ravi Shankar! He's still alive. And I learned today that India has the highest cattle population of any country. How about that? Imagine you're a cow. Imagine being brought to life and getting some random assignment on Earth. You could be born in a place where your body will be harvested for food before you're two years old - or you could be revered as holy, and revered for the entirety of your life. Just depending on where you were born. Human race, anyone? Fill in any blanks? Jeez. Americans. :/
Maybe I should be a vegetarian. I doubt I ever will be, but a lot of people who meet me are surprised to find that I am not. I have a lot of those tendencies and ideals, etc. I just happen to love steak. And sausage. And omg burnt bacon. Yeah, I appreciate vegetarians, but that ain't gonna happen here any time soon. Of course, if I had to harvest my own beef, it'd be a totally different story. Oh yeah, we'd be all about the nuts and berries and grains and veggies and fruits, and the bountiful basket of deliciousness that our Mother provides naturally. Shoot, for a while there, I was using that blender every single day. Strawberries + bananas + orange juice + yogurt + sugar = bliss.
Sigh. If only the music could cure abdominal pains resulting from whichever ungodly disease I have that is slowly chewing up my body from the inside out. I suppose that's what I get for defeating my demons. The greatest joys tend to require the greatest payment. Good thing I'm the last in line; this kind of pain doesn't need to be passed on. I'll get the #$@% colonoscopy, I don't care. I've been ready. Everyone around me and all their friends and families and everybody in between knows all the troubles that stem exclusively from all my private parts anyway. The pains just get worse and worse until I have no choice but to go have procedures done, and my temporary absences have to be explained in detail to everybody on Earth, so why bother trying to pretend any part of me is private anymore anyway? Ha! At least I get to tell them I got the vasectomy on my birthday! How cool is that?!
So now, in addition to not getting the time to write my own books, I am overwhelmed by books I want to read and likely never will. Oh, and most of the ones I wish I could read are at a friend's house 800 miles away, cluttering her life with my missing sections of soul. Sigh. I'm so sorry, FV. I don't know how to reclaim things. I have no help whatsoever. My mother didn't even answer her phone when I called yesterday. I swear I'll find a way to make it right, by myself. Don't give up on me.
In happier news, I had [until the critical abdominal pains settled in for the rest of the day, evening, and night] a blissful few hours walking around the Wildlife State Prairie Park with a very special person in my life. It felt, like, normal. She didn't do facebook the entire time we were there. She didn't talk on the phone or text people or anything. We just walked. I held her hand. I don't know how to explain it, because almost every minute of every day is an exercise in dealing with emergencies and crises. To just be, with the person I love.... It brought a surprising level of joy to my heart. We watched the eagles and the wolves and held up our hands to block out the sight of the fences, just to pretend everything around was natural. We didn't need to talk. I love the way she smells after being outside all day. It made me happy to see her smile. Especially with no children around.
And I like my new Ravi Shankar CDs. Immensely. He's right; drugs just cloud the spirit, contort the mind. Aspiration. Heavenward. No wonder he doesn't perform much in America. Most Americans couldn't stop doing drugs long enough to appreciate it. They're really missing out; but then again, most Americans are missing out on a lot of things. I love Ravi Shankar! He's still alive. And I learned today that India has the highest cattle population of any country. How about that? Imagine you're a cow. Imagine being brought to life and getting some random assignment on Earth. You could be born in a place where your body will be harvested for food before you're two years old - or you could be revered as holy, and revered for the entirety of your life. Just depending on where you were born. Human race, anyone? Fill in any blanks? Jeez. Americans. :/
Maybe I should be a vegetarian. I doubt I ever will be, but a lot of people who meet me are surprised to find that I am not. I have a lot of those tendencies and ideals, etc. I just happen to love steak. And sausage. And omg burnt bacon. Yeah, I appreciate vegetarians, but that ain't gonna happen here any time soon. Of course, if I had to harvest my own beef, it'd be a totally different story. Oh yeah, we'd be all about the nuts and berries and grains and veggies and fruits, and the bountiful basket of deliciousness that our Mother provides naturally. Shoot, for a while there, I was using that blender every single day. Strawberries + bananas + orange juice + yogurt + sugar = bliss.
Sigh. If only the music could cure abdominal pains resulting from whichever ungodly disease I have that is slowly chewing up my body from the inside out. I suppose that's what I get for defeating my demons. The greatest joys tend to require the greatest payment. Good thing I'm the last in line; this kind of pain doesn't need to be passed on. I'll get the #$@% colonoscopy, I don't care. I've been ready. Everyone around me and all their friends and families and everybody in between knows all the troubles that stem exclusively from all my private parts anyway. The pains just get worse and worse until I have no choice but to go have procedures done, and my temporary absences have to be explained in detail to everybody on Earth, so why bother trying to pretend any part of me is private anymore anyway? Ha! At least I get to tell them I got the vasectomy on my birthday! How cool is that?!
- Tymothi and veslemoy like this
