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Who I "should" Be
Posted by
clown xo
,
26 July 2012
·
91 views
I really don't like the word "should." I feel like it drives a lot of people to question themselves (in a bad way) and leads to some people feeling like they're inadequate if they don't follow the shoulds.
I had an epiphany today. It was brought about by reading about someone who, in 9th grade, was known as a "loner*." She wasn't complaining, she was just stating facts. And something about that dawned on me.
Some of us have this idea in our heads that high school -- or any part of life itself -- is supposed to go a certain way. We should be this ideal, or this type of person, and if not...we beat ourselves up. And then we feel and hold onto shame (or other negative feelings) about the times where we were less than that bright and shining and elusive IDEAL and we hang our heads low forever because of it. We let those negative times define us. We let it tell us who we are. We let it dictate and live on. And then we feel stuck. And it stunts our growth.
Some of us -- I include myself in all of this -- fail to see that we are individuals, and we're all at different states in our development. Not to sound too out there, but we're truly all on our different paths. Having confidence in our differences makes a difference. And I know it's hard considering the societal pressures and expectations (which do evolve, by the way).
Ups and downs, highs and lows, moments, years, weeks, months, sad times...life is challenging and not always fun. But we human beings have the potential to be very dynamic. Sometimes, it's all about simply allowing ourselves to be.
So about that "loner" girl. Again, she was simply stating facts. She didn't attach the label to her. She didn't let herself be defined by it. It just is what it is. She decided what to do with that label...she didn't let that label decide who she was going to be. She respected where she was at that time in her life. And I think that's really cool.
(*loner -- it's not a bad word, being outside the crowd has advantages, it just so happened that this particular story affected me personally. it also can be substituted, if need be)
I had an epiphany today. It was brought about by reading about someone who, in 9th grade, was known as a "loner*." She wasn't complaining, she was just stating facts. And something about that dawned on me.
Some of us have this idea in our heads that high school -- or any part of life itself -- is supposed to go a certain way. We should be this ideal, or this type of person, and if not...we beat ourselves up. And then we feel and hold onto shame (or other negative feelings) about the times where we were less than that bright and shining and elusive IDEAL and we hang our heads low forever because of it. We let those negative times define us. We let it tell us who we are. We let it dictate and live on. And then we feel stuck. And it stunts our growth.
Some of us -- I include myself in all of this -- fail to see that we are individuals, and we're all at different states in our development. Not to sound too out there, but we're truly all on our different paths. Having confidence in our differences makes a difference. And I know it's hard considering the societal pressures and expectations (which do evolve, by the way).
Ups and downs, highs and lows, moments, years, weeks, months, sad times...life is challenging and not always fun. But we human beings have the potential to be very dynamic. Sometimes, it's all about simply allowing ourselves to be.
So about that "loner" girl. Again, she was simply stating facts. She didn't attach the label to her. She didn't let herself be defined by it. It just is what it is. She decided what to do with that label...she didn't let that label decide who she was going to be. She respected where she was at that time in her life. And I think that's really cool.
(*loner -- it's not a bad word, being outside the crowd has advantages, it just so happened that this particular story affected me personally. it also can be substituted, if need be)
- jojin likes this
