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Bad Memories -- What Do I Do About Them?

Posted by clown xo , 24 July 2012 · 112 views

Friday was the first day I let myself have a good day in 4 years. THAT was an accomplishment.

However, I couldn't help but feel this physical TENSION in my body a day later...when I was still feeling good. It happens most when I'm alone.

The TENSION of bad memories.

I thought I cried more than enough, thought more than enough, analyzed more than enough. Why...every time I move myself in the right direction, I feel this tension in my body -- headaches, specifically??

Someone told me that if there's an emotion I'm trying to avoid...this is the result.

But I'm tired of crying, analyzing, thinking.

I decided that maybe what I need to do is let the bad memories be there---but no longer "go there." No longer analyze them. Just let them be there.

Is this a good decision? Any insight? I have a lot of bad memories, by the way. But if this is gonna help get some of the tension out, then I'm going to do it.

jojin

Jul 24 2012 10:38 PM

I think that's a good approach. Many of the problems many of us face is letting go of the past and feeling regret. I think it's good to acknowledge your past and to then move on from it. It's something I still battle with myself, but it has to be a work in progress. I hope you get well.

- clown xo likes this

clown xo

Jul 24 2012 10:52 PM

Thank you for your feedback and I hope you get well too. Thanks for reading, jojin.

nhs44

Jul 25 2012 02:08 AM

I think that's probably one thing a lot of people on this site have in common - endlessly rehashing the past. Whether it's out of guilt / shame / sadness / regret / hurt / injustice or whatever the case, I find I just keep going over things that have happened, and can't seem to just let go. I keep telling myself the past is in the past, what's done is done, i have to move on and just when I think I've done that, it pops up again. I wish I had an answer for you, maybe we just have to learn how to truly forgive - whether it's ourselves or others - to finally put the demons to rest. Good luck to you.

- clown xo likes this

Shmooey

Jul 26 2012 06:07 AM

That's how it has to be for me - I have a lot of bad memories starting in early childhood and they can be completely overwhelming. Not thinking so much of exactly what happened, but the fact that they really shaped how I look at the world. I found the more I resisted them, the bigger they got. It took a lot of therapy to get them back down to fitting in with the rest of things, and now I know they're there but I don't get as sick in that way. I also did a few years' work with a bodywork therapist who helped me release the body's tension related to the experiences. She's a massage therapist who specialized in working with psych patients. It was really helpful too.