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Dingle Dangle *edited*
Posted by
Nataya
,
16 August 2012
·
149 views
Still just hanging by that silly little thread.
But it NOW has more weight on it. Phil's daughter will be with us, within the NEXT 2 weeks! Not sure how soon i will find out over the weekend once more planning has been done!
Yesterday wasn't so good. I officially scared myself. A man is now inside of me. He is very strong and very very mean. He is trying to crush us. You should hear the things he says and the way he says them! My oh My he is a horrid man.
It seem all i do is fight with him right now until i am to afraid and i shut down. Hes plan is to make us weak defeat and crush us all. I want to say i have the power and strength to stop it but i'm not sure i do.
I'm sorry i can not longer speak about this i am shaking with fear and coldness.
I am to attend my last therapy session today. I am going to try and explain small amounts of this to her, i do not wish to make her worry nor anybody for that matter. But i can not guarantee that it will be successful. but all i can do is try i guess.
******AFTER LAST THERAPY SESSION*************
So I eventually told her in a round about way of the 'him' inside of me. And the little girl. Nothing more because i don't understand the others so much yet myself.
It was really really hard to speak about and i struggled a huge amount. But at least i got there in the end.
She looked quiet worried for me. And how terrible i feel behaving in such a way on our last session!!! But in the end i was able to come around and make some sort of sense about this. Because i keep getting caught up in the thoughts between me feeling all knowing its not possible to actually be real. But it is real to me.
She explain it in a way they are all parts of me that have just be fragmented off due to my past experiences. There was a lot more said but i was in a state and not always fully paying attention. I know she said she has sent a final report to my doctor, and may have reviled to much or something, and she is going to make a call to them before i see her on Monday. My partner also came in for the last 20 mins of the session, and she explained it to him in a way so he can understand this all a bit better. He even bought up the idea of maybe i need to go back on medication again! HE MENTIONED IT NOT ME
I am feeling a lot stronger than i have in a long while now. I just really hope this last's. I just have to make it though to Monday and i will be ok. My therapist said to me make sure i reach out as soon as i need it don't wait. I'm a bit worried about what has been sent to my doctor but i guess i will find out!
Thank you all so much for you kinds words and support when i have not been at my best! I appreciate. I am sorry if i made any of you worry i didn't not mean to do so.
I plan to spend the weekend with my cats for comfort appreciate the time that i get when i'm in the driver seat!
But it NOW has more weight on it. Phil's daughter will be with us, within the NEXT 2 weeks! Not sure how soon i will find out over the weekend once more planning has been done!
Yesterday wasn't so good. I officially scared myself. A man is now inside of me. He is very strong and very very mean. He is trying to crush us. You should hear the things he says and the way he says them! My oh My he is a horrid man.
It seem all i do is fight with him right now until i am to afraid and i shut down. Hes plan is to make us weak defeat and crush us all. I want to say i have the power and strength to stop it but i'm not sure i do.
I'm sorry i can not longer speak about this i am shaking with fear and coldness.
I am to attend my last therapy session today. I am going to try and explain small amounts of this to her, i do not wish to make her worry nor anybody for that matter. But i can not guarantee that it will be successful. but all i can do is try i guess.
******AFTER LAST THERAPY SESSION*************
So I eventually told her in a round about way of the 'him' inside of me. And the little girl. Nothing more because i don't understand the others so much yet myself.
It was really really hard to speak about and i struggled a huge amount. But at least i got there in the end.
She looked quiet worried for me. And how terrible i feel behaving in such a way on our last session!!! But in the end i was able to come around and make some sort of sense about this. Because i keep getting caught up in the thoughts between me feeling all knowing its not possible to actually be real. But it is real to me.
She explain it in a way they are all parts of me that have just be fragmented off due to my past experiences. There was a lot more said but i was in a state and not always fully paying attention. I know she said she has sent a final report to my doctor, and may have reviled to much or something, and she is going to make a call to them before i see her on Monday. My partner also came in for the last 20 mins of the session, and she explained it to him in a way so he can understand this all a bit better. He even bought up the idea of maybe i need to go back on medication again! HE MENTIONED IT NOT ME
I am feeling a lot stronger than i have in a long while now. I just really hope this last's. I just have to make it though to Monday and i will be ok. My therapist said to me make sure i reach out as soon as i need it don't wait. I'm a bit worried about what has been sent to my doctor but i guess i will find out!
Thank you all so much for you kinds words and support when i have not been at my best! I appreciate. I am sorry if i made any of you worry i didn't not mean to do so.
I plan to spend the weekend with my cats for comfort appreciate the time that i get when i'm in the driver seat!
- chucapabra likes this
