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A Long Week.
Posted by
rockbottom
,
20 July 2012
·
145 views
Well, I've got to the end of what's been a pretty tough week at work.
My days have been long, and pretty much every moment has been fraught with the A-bomb. Wish I could defuse it, but that's gonna take a while.
I've been trying to not take any Diazepam (Xanax) as I need to stop for my CBT to work. Am pretty sure I'm in withdrawal from it, as I've been on it for a few months now. It's been really tough, as I've kinda needed it as there's nothing else that's quitened down my monstrous thoughts. I think I'm gonna take one tonight just to help me relax, as I can't go cold turkey... last time I tried my car got kicked, and i don't want to travel down that path again.
One thing I have noticed is that I've been crying less. Whether that's due to coming off the meds or not I don't know. I FEEL like crying, but no tears seem to come. (cue the waterfall when I'm least expecting it).
My weekend is going to be pretty quiet, as I've got zero funds. Am saving like crazy for when my pay cut at work starts. I have little enough as it is, and this is adding more pressure onto me and the family (household, bills etc.) I've got some new (to me) games to play on my PS3, so I'm going to give them a try, a bit of escape from the bull**** I'm holding on to.
I feel exhausted, like I could sleep for a month. I think I'll be asleep for a good portion of the weekend (saves spending money, but not the best way of spending time). I'm sure everyone on here could agree with the sleep problems - we all have too much sleep, not enough sleep, or dreaming keeping us from getting the deep sleep we need.
My days have been long, and pretty much every moment has been fraught with the A-bomb. Wish I could defuse it, but that's gonna take a while.
I've been trying to not take any Diazepam (Xanax) as I need to stop for my CBT to work. Am pretty sure I'm in withdrawal from it, as I've been on it for a few months now. It's been really tough, as I've kinda needed it as there's nothing else that's quitened down my monstrous thoughts. I think I'm gonna take one tonight just to help me relax, as I can't go cold turkey... last time I tried my car got kicked, and i don't want to travel down that path again.
One thing I have noticed is that I've been crying less. Whether that's due to coming off the meds or not I don't know. I FEEL like crying, but no tears seem to come. (cue the waterfall when I'm least expecting it).
My weekend is going to be pretty quiet, as I've got zero funds. Am saving like crazy for when my pay cut at work starts. I have little enough as it is, and this is adding more pressure onto me and the family (household, bills etc.) I've got some new (to me) games to play on my PS3, so I'm going to give them a try, a bit of escape from the bull**** I'm holding on to.
I feel exhausted, like I could sleep for a month. I think I'll be asleep for a good portion of the weekend (saves spending money, but not the best way of spending time). I'm sure everyone on here could agree with the sleep problems - we all have too much sleep, not enough sleep, or dreaming keeping us from getting the deep sleep we need.
Other than Xanax withdrawal, I'm with you, right down to the feeling like crying but being cried out. My weekend is going to be quiet because I need it to be though (not that I have a lot of money either). It's been a horrendous week for me too and I need to hibernate before I get physically sick from pushing so hard to work through it. I've got mass amounts of sleep on my radar too!
If you need to talk, I'm here. ((MORE HUGS))