Been A While

I haven't made any posts on this site in a little while, just a few scattered ones where I had any input to give others, so I decided to give a bit of an update in my blog instead of flooding one of the forum topics.

For the most part, my depression has been pretty well contained. Just a few short episodes every once in a while. Anxiety has been about the same. It seems like since it's been long enough for me to adjust to my medication increase, it's been working pretty well. I haven't been dreading going to therapy as much lately, other than waking up to go (which is normal).

Aside from that, I've just been doing what I can to enjoy my Summer break, and relax. I've been spending a lot of time reading lately, I will shamelessly admit I flew through the Fifty Shades trilogy out of curiosity from all the hype. Nothing special, just something to read. My cousin got me started on the Game of Thrones books with her a little while back, so I've been working my way through the first book (it's very long!). I'm really enjoying it so far. It's definitely not my usual genre, I actually have virtually no exposure or experience with medieval fantasy type stuff other than the Lord of the Rings movies. I tried watching the show, but I only saw the finale for Season 2 so I have no idea what's going on, and it also seems like it might be a little too graphic for me. I tend to not do so well with movies and shows that have a lot of blood and dismembered body parts flying all over the place. But the books work just fine for me!

My birthday weekend was recently, and it ended up being enjoyable despite my apathy towards the whole thing. Of course, I'm still not feeling great about turning 25, especially since a huge chunk of my life has been spent with me being really messed up and I really haven't accomplished much of anything, so I'm a little sensitive about the age thing. Other than that, I got to have a nice dinner at my grandparents, I got to have a nice sushi dinner with my parents, and my sister came out from San Diego to visit for Father's Day and to go out for fondue with my brother and me. All of it ended up being a really nice time, especially with how strained my relationship with my sister has always been and how strained the relationship with my brother has been since the news became public to my family about my issues. I'm going with him and my father to a Yankees game in August, and I'm really looking forward to that as well. It's been nice being able to do things with my family that I can enjoy without any fights or drama of sorts after so many years of not getting along with them.

Last week I had a little bit of a break with my anxiety when I went to get food, and eat in the restaurant by myself. I've never done that before because the idea of doing things like going out to eat by myself always made me feel extremely anxious, and I could never get comfortable enough to do it. I decided to give it a shot at this little cafe in town, about 20 minutes away from me. It's fairly new, only been open about two years. The Byram area where it's in has developed quite a bit with shops and things like that over these last few years and I had never really checked any of it out. Most of these things came around during my low points, or when I was living with my sister. There's some really good stuff there that I will definitely be checking out in the future. The cafe trip was a success though. I went in to just enjoy some light tea and something small to eat, so I couldn't trigger or enhance any anxiety, then moved up to a latte once I became comfortable and just hung around and read for a little while. It turned out to be a really nice and relaxing experience and I was glad I did it.

That's all though, I think. Just wanted to give some updates to let everyone know I've been hanging in there lately and doing what I can to fight my depression. I just don't want it to ruin the few months that I get to relax and not have to worry about work or studying.