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Sept 9 12
Posted by
Shmooey
,
09 September 2012
·
224 views
Just got back from spending the last few days with my Mommy. We had such a wonderful time together, even though I had more limitations than before. I had a meltdown yesterday after we went to a coffee place three blocks from her condo, but she was really supportive through it and I think seeing it made her realize just how bad things have been. She listened and did her best to soothe me while all the crying was happening.
Mostly we just had a really good time enjoying each other's company. We spent a lot of time just in her condo instead of out and about, because of me, but it was still fun. We are so close and it was great to be able to have the time.
I saw my sister twice too, and the two of them had a good long talk with me about getting better. They are both giving financial assistance so I can concentrate on getting better for the rest of this year. I will still keep a lookout for good job placements, but the big load of money worries has been lifted. I feel bad because I could never offer the same to them, but they said that's not an issue because I would still be there for them if the roles were reversed. Both of them do much better than me financially and they said it's not an issue. I am so grateful that I have them both in my life and that we are so close. They are my only family of origin and they mean the world to me. As I type this, I have tears in my eyes worrying in the back of my mind about when something happens to my mother. I will go crazier than I already am....but today is not the time to be thinking this way. Something is just so wrong with me right now...
I ate better while I was away too. My Geodon has all but killed my appetite, but I ate normally the last two days, which is something. Moms have a way of feeding you well...lol. I've lost seven pounds now thanks to not eating a lot since the Geodon was increased to its current level. I have to make myself eat sometimes (like now).
I don't know if I've been approved for unemployment or not yet. Nothing in the mail. Obviously if I am, I will have to be good about sending resumes out each week - you have to send at least two - but we'll see if that comes through. I have been sending two a week for the past two weeks, to keep the requirement up, even though I don't know if I'm approved yet. I just had that phone interview last Wednesday. It's not much money even if I do get it, but it will mostly pay for three months of COBRA health insurance coverage. I think, to be honest, that part of me will be relieved if I don't get it, so I don't have to feel obligated to send resumes for jobs I don't want. It's going to be crucial for me to find the right placement when I do go back, and I know that it's premature to be job hunting right now. I have one resume out for a job that would be a very good match, but I don't feel good about the other three jobs I applied for. I hope they don't call me. Is that bad? It's how it is though. I wish there was a part of unemployment for people who have medical issues, but you have to be actively looking for work if you collect it. If I get it, it's for 12 weeks. If I don't, I won't be sending resumes unless it's a truly good match.
I had a great time, even though I had to deal with the train both ways, and I feel a lot better about my financial situation after they had their conversation with me. I am very blessed in that regard to have that level of support. I love my family so much.
Mostly we just had a really good time enjoying each other's company. We spent a lot of time just in her condo instead of out and about, because of me, but it was still fun. We are so close and it was great to be able to have the time.
I saw my sister twice too, and the two of them had a good long talk with me about getting better. They are both giving financial assistance so I can concentrate on getting better for the rest of this year. I will still keep a lookout for good job placements, but the big load of money worries has been lifted. I feel bad because I could never offer the same to them, but they said that's not an issue because I would still be there for them if the roles were reversed. Both of them do much better than me financially and they said it's not an issue. I am so grateful that I have them both in my life and that we are so close. They are my only family of origin and they mean the world to me. As I type this, I have tears in my eyes worrying in the back of my mind about when something happens to my mother. I will go crazier than I already am....but today is not the time to be thinking this way. Something is just so wrong with me right now...
I ate better while I was away too. My Geodon has all but killed my appetite, but I ate normally the last two days, which is something. Moms have a way of feeding you well...lol. I've lost seven pounds now thanks to not eating a lot since the Geodon was increased to its current level. I have to make myself eat sometimes (like now).
I don't know if I've been approved for unemployment or not yet. Nothing in the mail. Obviously if I am, I will have to be good about sending resumes out each week - you have to send at least two - but we'll see if that comes through. I have been sending two a week for the past two weeks, to keep the requirement up, even though I don't know if I'm approved yet. I just had that phone interview last Wednesday. It's not much money even if I do get it, but it will mostly pay for three months of COBRA health insurance coverage. I think, to be honest, that part of me will be relieved if I don't get it, so I don't have to feel obligated to send resumes for jobs I don't want. It's going to be crucial for me to find the right placement when I do go back, and I know that it's premature to be job hunting right now. I have one resume out for a job that would be a very good match, but I don't feel good about the other three jobs I applied for. I hope they don't call me. Is that bad? It's how it is though. I wish there was a part of unemployment for people who have medical issues, but you have to be actively looking for work if you collect it. If I get it, it's for 12 weeks. If I don't, I won't be sending resumes unless it's a truly good match.
I had a great time, even though I had to deal with the train both ways, and I feel a lot better about my financial situation after they had their conversation with me. I am very blessed in that regard to have that level of support. I love my family so much.
