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Shmooey's Fort



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Almost Tuesday At 8 A.m....

Posted by Shmooey , 19 May 2013 - - - - - - · 101 views

I have been gritting my teeth through the last work week, and now I am set to grit 'em again to get through tomorrow and to my pdoc appointment on Tuesday at 8 a.m.  I will have my Abilify with me, so if he prescribes a higher dose, I can take it immediately from my existing supply until I go to the pharmacy to pick it up.  I suspect they will n...


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Thursday

Posted by Shmooey , 16 May 2013 - - - - - - · 38 views

i think I have forgotten how to hope


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Tuesday

Posted by Shmooey , 14 May 2013 - - - - - - · 154 views

I'm sure I need a higher dose of Abilify.  I felt a little better for a couple of days but the symptoms are breaking through the meds.  I hallucinated at work yesterday and was very fragile today.  If I had a front line position, I'd never have made it.  
 
My next pdoc appointment was supposed to be May 31 but I called and bumped...


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Sunday

Posted by Shmooey , 12 May 2013 - - - - - - · 111 views

I have not been living for over a year now.  I have only been surviving.  I have a long history of mental illness, but things have gotten worse again since mid 2011.
 
There has not been joy, or spontaneity, just fear, isolation, and hallucinations.  It is tiring, living like this, always sensing threats.  People following me, cha...


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Thursday

Posted by Shmooey , 09 May 2013 - - - - - - · 171 views

Looks like I will be out of my temp assignment sooner than I thought.  Turns out another temp in the office had applied for the job I am doing.  They decided to start training her this afternoon.  So I may not be there longer than another week.  I hadn't planned to exit that early, so hopefully I can find something else to bring in a p...


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Get This...

Posted by Shmooey , 08 May 2013 - - - - - - · 113 views

I got to work today ready to hand my supervisor my letter removing myself from the competition for my temp job.  Only to find out that she is out sick again today (well, with a sick child anyway).
 
I was not willing to make myself sick for another day, so I went into the director's office, the one who sent me that e-mail yesterday.  Someth...


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Not Getting The Job

Posted by Shmooey , 07 May 2013 - - - - - - · 138 views

Found out when I went back to work today that I made a major mistake.  Got this e-mail from the director, after I had apologized to her when she sent a different e-mail saying how she cannot stress enough how unacceptable this was...I am 99% sure they are going to tell me tomorrow that they are not pursuing my application for permanent employment (my...


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What Day Is Today?

Posted by Shmooey , 06 May 2013 - - - - - - · 181 views

I feel like I haven't been to work in a month.  Saturday flew by, and I was despondent about that, Sunday went slower, but then I started melting down again, and I called in sick today.  I can't believe how slowly today went.  I slept away most of the morning, just 'cause I wanted an escape.  For the past three days, I have slept fifte...


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Saturday Update

Posted by Shmooey , 04 May 2013 - - - - - - · 100 views

So, two days of Abilify now and two days off Geodon.  
 
I had a lot of dizziness earlier today in the morning and afternoon.  Slept away a good part of the day.  I think it had to do with the Geodon leaving my system rather than the Abilify coming in.  Could be wrong, but I guess we will see if it persists again tomorrow.  I...


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Almost On Abilify

Posted by Shmooey , 30 April 2013 - - - - - - · 102 views

My pdoc called me this afternoon to say he got the preapproval for me to switch from Geodon to Abilify.  It was nice of him to call, I didn't expect him to.  I was just following up with the pharmacy.
 
When I called this afternoon, they told me the insurance is making me pay $25 instead of the $10 the Geodon was.  They're about the sa...






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