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Lady Mozzer`s Rollercoaster Ride



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Something Has Been Lost

Posted by Lady Mozzer , 07 April 2014 - - - - - - · 0 views

I`ve been trying to write this blog but my head felt foggy and cloudy.i couldn`t seem to get the words out.I guess my head is feeling clearer now.
 
A little while ago I was listening to some music and I just started crying.I feel so lost right now.I don`t know what`s going to become of me.I just feel so sad all the time.I want to be happy I want to...


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Lost And Lonely

Posted by Lady Mozzer , 24 March 2014 - - - - - - · 0 views

I feel this way all the time.I feel like I`ll never find my place in this world.I know I`ve said this before but I feel like I don`t belong....anywhere.I always feel out of place.I don`t even feel comfortable within myself.I sometimes wish I was like those other people I see.The people that have someone.The people that have tons of fun and lots of friends...


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The Noise Inside

Posted by Lady Mozzer , 10 March 2014 - - - - - - · 0 views

I`ve been really struggling lately.I have real difficulty getting out of bed.Everyday things take enormous effort.I`ve been so down I really miss my manic energy.I know that seems strange to say but at times I
don`t feel like moving.I just want to cry all the time.My anxiety is also worse.I start to panic when I have to leave the house or just be around a...


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Tired Of Fighting

Posted by Lady Mozzer , 27 January 2014 - - - - - - · 117 views

I`m tired of fighting this.It`s been going on for years.I keep fighting and trying.I try my best to keep busy, I take the meds.I am exhausted and so sad.This sadness goes down deep.I feel like I`m sinking further and further.My life is meaningless and I am worthless.Everything hurts so much.I don`t want to be in this body anymore.


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I Don`t Want To Go Back There

Posted by Lady Mozzer , 08 December 2013 - - - - - - · 140 views

I feel so exhausted sometimes physically and mentally.I feel my body,mind and spirit are tired.I get tired of trying.Why do things have to be so difficult?My body and head ache. I wish I could lie down and rest.I wish I could close my eyes and have things be quiet and peaceful.I can`t have that though,my brain wont allow.It won`t let me rest.I feel like I...


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With A Head Full Of Dread

Posted by Lady Mozzer , 23 November 2013 - - - - - - · 178 views

 
I haven`t been doing too well.My pdoc switched me from seroquel to abilify.So now I`m on cymbalta,abilify remeron and lorazepam.I`m not liking the abilify so far.My pdoc prescribed 30 mgs at bedtime.It`s hard to stay asleep on it.I keep waking up and can`t get comfortable in my bed.I keep fidgeting and need to keep changing positions.I know it`s...


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Nothingness

Posted by Lady Mozzer , 03 September 2013 - - - - - - · 162 views

Things are okay at the moment I guess.I mostly feel numb and blank.I suppose it`s better than the alternative.The alternative is pain,anxiety and overwhelming sadness.I guess it is okay sometimes.But those feelings always return.Sometimes I just want to scream so loud or punch a wall or something.I just want to let it all out.I want to release the black t...


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My Broken Brain

Posted by Lady Mozzer , 24 July 2013 - - - - - - · 180 views

I  haven`t written here in a while.I guess things haven`t been going to well for me.I try to just keep going and I say it`s okay but it really isn`t.I guess lots of us to that.People ask "How are you? " The answer is always "I`m okay
 
I haven`t left the house much lately.I did go see a movie which was homework from my therapist.He was very hap...


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Struggling

Posted by Lady Mozzer , 12 April 2013 - - - - - - · 156 views

I have really been struggling lately.I am so,so depressed.I have such low energy that getting out of bed seems like a daunting task..Just doing everyday things fills me with anxiety.I had a panic attack on tuesday and couldn`t complete my errands.I had to go back home and take my meds.I feel this deep,deep depression.I really feel like I am losing hope.It...


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Overwhelmed By The Darkness

Posted by Lady Mozzer , 12 February 2013 - - - - - - · 231 views

Overwhelmed By The Darkness I`m very ashamed of myself tonight.I gave in to my intense SI urges.It`s been coming on for a while now.Things were tolerable.I wasn`t a great,big ball of sunshine or anything but it was better than before.My therapist was talking to me about going back to school.I wanted to get on with my life and move on.The illness won`t let me.It started coming back a...






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