Back Because Of Stress

I'm going back to school in the next few weeks. Im transferring AND changing majors. After the absolute mental disaster that was last year I'm really dreading going. I dont want to experience this all again. Even if i did get spectacular grades, i was so miserable that it didn't matter. I didn't get the scholarship that I wanted and its an expensive as hell school too. My parents can and are willing to pay for it but...I still feel so friggin guilty for going there. It makes me feel like a huge waist of all their resources...
I didnt get a vacation this year, mentally i mean, Ive been working the entire time. But vacations are a luxury I suppose, I just really needed it.
I spent the first entire part of my summer just beating against the wall with both the admissions department at the school and trying to find a psychiatrist so that I could keep up with my drugs. The school lost my AP scores...twice and then a month later lost my final transcripts...TWICE! So we had to resend them. Thankfully my old school is very nice about it and sent it all without getting too mad at me.
And then there was getting me in to see a doctor. OOoooh was THAT fun. I called so many people it isn't even funny. Sometimes eight a day, EIGHT!
I had a s*** social worker/psychologist or whatever she was that was always at least five minutes late and never talked about anything important, or helped for that matter. The most she ever did was diagnose me with PTSD , which she never got around to treating mind you, and give me a mood chart to track my moods which, I was already filling out online. -___- So needless to say she was a massive waste of time and resources.
I did eventually get to see a psychiatrist after about a month and a half of bothering the s*** out of everyone. He was, and I quote, "an alternative psychiatrist" who was recommended by my s*** psychologist. He wanted to pump me full of vitamins that I would just pay for and then pi** out (Ive researched all this) but all he did was up my lamictal (which doesn't do much) to 200mg and re-diagnose me as Bipolar I instead of II...yay. I only saw him twice.
Now, because I'm moving locations for the third time, i need to find a new doctor up there...again.
Yay.
I spent the second part of my summer working like crazy and bouncing between severe depression and...what i can only assume are mixed moods. My depression isnt as severe, but the suicidal ideation does not go away. This summer I was just...very not good. I was suicidal, and I was TRYING to reach out again. This time I tried those "anonymous" online crisis chats. I told them all about it, told them I was ok for the night, I wasn't planning anything but I was having recurrent thoughts. When he started throwing jesus at me and then told me to call Focus on the Family (I'm gay and an atheist so that's extra insulting), I pretty much told him to screw off and ended the chat. Cut to 2:00am. My mom woke up to two state troopers at the door. Yup, They called the mother******* cops on me somehow. I HAVE NO IDEA HOW! But they did. And, because I'm an exceptional liar, i managed to convince everyone I was ok, and we all went to bed and I felt worse than before.
I feel like now i should maybe should have gone inpatient, and the ideation got worse. But now its too late, I dont have time to do any of that. I'm trying my best to get ready for college, see my friends before they go away too, and just Fr***ing get myself together, but I dread every new thing that I have to do, its almost physically painful to think about. I'm just mentally not all here and it really, really is getting to me. I'm doing ok for now, I just hope it lasts you know?