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1 votes

My Mood Is Still Weird

Posted by LibraryLady , 24 July 2012 · 191 views

Hi everyone, thanks so much for the support. I need it right now. I'm not going on the forum right now because of my up and down moods. I want to help others, but I think I need to help me right now. And, that is hard! I usually help everyone else in the world before myself.

My headaches continue to be bad. I had a regular appt with my Rheumatologist and he suggested I try another neurologist. What for? So they can tell me they don't know why I have headaches? Right now I just want a really strong drug to get rid of it.

I remember that when I was young my Dad had very bad headaches. Back in those days they had Darvon, which is a very strong drug, I don't know what kind. It's not even on the market anymore. The closest to it is Darvacet. I've never had either one, but I wonder if they would kick my headaches.

So, I'm spraying my nose with saline solution, and now I'm also using saline eye drops. I'm working on the theory that my sinuses and surrounding areas are totally dried out and swollen and painful. Hence the headaches. I just don't know what else to do.

I do know that I'm very depressed right now. I'm trying to keep my mind off of harmful thoughts by painting and watching my favorite DVDs. I can't take off any sick days because I don't have that many and I need to save them for when I really am sick. I mean physically sick. Obviously, I'm having some mental illness right now.

I am wearing a new dress today. I did some therapy shopping with my favorite online store. Sigh. I wasn't too bad, and usually I'm very careful with my money. It does help to have a new dress. It's chocolate brown with cream batik designs all over it. I love batik, and most of my clothes are made from batik fabrics. And of course I'm so huge, you can't miss me! :-) When I walk down the hall it's like the Queen Mary in full steam! HaHa!

I either laugh or I cry. Like the song at the end of "The Life of Brian" says, "Always look on the bright side of life." I'm trying!

rockbottom likes this

Shmooey

Jul 24 2012 02:35 PM

Oh my goodness, that was mean! Don't be mean to yourself sweetie, I saw your photograph, and you are beautiful.

((((HUGS))))

LibraryLady

Jul 24 2012 04:02 PM

Shmooey! You are so sweet to me! Well, I'm very honest -- I weigh well over 200 lbs now. That picture of me in my gallery is about 6 years old, and 80 lbs lighter. I want to get back to that size, it's the real me. I'm just buried in my own fat right now! Love you!

nhs44

Jul 24 2012 05:00 PM

From what I've seen you've always selflessly helped others on this forum, please take some time out for yourself. I hope the headaches go away soon. I have a fat boomerang as well - it doesn't matter how often I lose it, it always comes back to me.

Nataya

Jul 24 2012 08:00 PM

I struggle to with headache also. I am sorry that you are suffering and i hope that it eases soon.
I am sorry thinks are so tough for you at the moment. I hope that it eases for you soon! You need to try and be more kind to yourself. I know its hard to see though your distorted goggles of yourself but you are extremely beautiful.
I hope that one day you can see what we all see in you.
You always whole heartily help others on here. and Its OK to take time to look after yourself.
take care x

rockbottom

Jul 25 2012 05:08 AM

Hello m'lady,

I'm super sorry to hear that you're struggling so much at the moment. First off ((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))

You're a truly wonderful person, so giving of your help and support on here, you're TOTALLY appreciated! Love u lots!!!!

I hope you get a bit of respite asap. You take care of yourself sweetie. If you can't look after yourself, you can't look after others. So YOU FIRST!

xxxx

DeeBear

Aug 01 2012 10:39 PM

When you're chewing on life's gristle,
Don't grumble, give a whistle,
And this'll, help things turn out for the best,
And....
Always look on the bright, side of life.....

That song gets stuck in your head......

I've found that using the saline sinus rinse bottles and warming the water a bit in the microwave helps my headaches a lot when I suspect it's sinus trouble. It's messy, but it seems to help me more.

Take care,
Dewayne