Create a custom theme
0
4-15
Posted by
e1234
,
15 April 2012
·
179 views
Hey guys.
It's sunday and I'm trying to keep it together..
I haven't been writing much lately...I guess I just haven't felt like complaining about the same old things.
I notice I fall into the "stinkin thinkin" thing where I think one bad thought and then it escalates...so I'm trying not to think bad thoughts..
I've been on my medicine for about 10 days...haven't noticed that much of a difference, other than I might be sleeping better. But I'm trying to be patient and let the medicine build up in my system. It's really a process trying to take my medinice...I have to do it perfect..or else I'll think about it all day, and think that "just because I didn't take it a certain way" that the medince won't work for that day...just crazy.
I've been trying not to fall into dark traps that I can't get out of..
I actually made a good grade on one of my most recent tests.
I think one of the main things that's bringing me down is the fact that I don't get out enough, or have enough friends.
I've applied online to like two places, but I haven't heard anything from them...I really need just something to get out of the house and be among people. It's discouraging after a while when your trying to find a job and you thing "well Im never going to find one"....I get the feeling that no one actually looks at online applications...? My dream job would probably be at best buy. Haven't applied there yet, but I might soon.
Another thing that bothers me is how uncomfortable I seem around people...I mean I really have no reason to not to comfortable but it just seems like...im so awkward or something. Lol like when I walk I suddenly forget where to put my hands and stuff, besides them being crossed. I just want to appear more confident in the way I walk and sit. I think actually being around people more would help with this.
Also another thing that's bothering me is my stalker..he's at it again with his s***. I thought I could be nice for a change because I thought he got the picture...but no. It's turned from weird to scary. He waits on me all the time and sometimes I can feel myself being watched. I hate how I have to plan what I do around him. I need to stop being so nice and start being a Biotch. Like enough is enough. I"m tired of having this powerless feeling over everything I do...seriously like i'm about to start being incredibly mean.
I do have this crush on this one guy at school. He's like really shy and stuff..I guess that's why I'm attratched to him. He's not like everyone else in the sense that, in class he doesn't text and talk and what no..he actually listens the whole time. I've had to be the one to start convos most of the time, but i don't really mind cause I know he's shy... nothing will probably come of it I just like it for some reason. Like he really doesn't talk to anyone in classes only on occasions and stuff...he has this very focused attitude that I like. I don't know how old he is or anything about him..but oh well it's nice just to fantasize sometimes.
But anyways it's better to think of positive things like that that on other things.
After this semester is over I have about a month break. I really hate that, but at the same time I probably need a little break. But If I don't find a job before then i'll be working with my parents everyday. But hey I guess it's something to do even if I don't like it. I wish someone would just be like "hey do you want to work here? ok your hired" lol prob won't work that way though.
Going to school everyday fall semester will help...but then again I have every single class with my sister, and I hate that. I want to be independant and away from her. More fights will insue i'm sure but hopefully we can get along spending that much time together. Oh well, why do I always think it's going to be so terrible..it'll be fine.
Well I guess that's pretty much all I have to complain about...until next time byee
It's sunday and I'm trying to keep it together..
I haven't been writing much lately...I guess I just haven't felt like complaining about the same old things.
I notice I fall into the "stinkin thinkin" thing where I think one bad thought and then it escalates...so I'm trying not to think bad thoughts..
I've been on my medicine for about 10 days...haven't noticed that much of a difference, other than I might be sleeping better. But I'm trying to be patient and let the medicine build up in my system. It's really a process trying to take my medinice...I have to do it perfect..or else I'll think about it all day, and think that "just because I didn't take it a certain way" that the medince won't work for that day...just crazy.
I've been trying not to fall into dark traps that I can't get out of..
I actually made a good grade on one of my most recent tests.
I think one of the main things that's bringing me down is the fact that I don't get out enough, or have enough friends.
I've applied online to like two places, but I haven't heard anything from them...I really need just something to get out of the house and be among people. It's discouraging after a while when your trying to find a job and you thing "well Im never going to find one"....I get the feeling that no one actually looks at online applications...? My dream job would probably be at best buy. Haven't applied there yet, but I might soon.
Another thing that bothers me is how uncomfortable I seem around people...I mean I really have no reason to not to comfortable but it just seems like...im so awkward or something. Lol like when I walk I suddenly forget where to put my hands and stuff, besides them being crossed. I just want to appear more confident in the way I walk and sit. I think actually being around people more would help with this.
Also another thing that's bothering me is my stalker..he's at it again with his s***. I thought I could be nice for a change because I thought he got the picture...but no. It's turned from weird to scary. He waits on me all the time and sometimes I can feel myself being watched. I hate how I have to plan what I do around him. I need to stop being so nice and start being a Biotch. Like enough is enough. I"m tired of having this powerless feeling over everything I do...seriously like i'm about to start being incredibly mean.
I do have this crush on this one guy at school. He's like really shy and stuff..I guess that's why I'm attratched to him. He's not like everyone else in the sense that, in class he doesn't text and talk and what no..he actually listens the whole time. I've had to be the one to start convos most of the time, but i don't really mind cause I know he's shy... nothing will probably come of it I just like it for some reason. Like he really doesn't talk to anyone in classes only on occasions and stuff...he has this very focused attitude that I like. I don't know how old he is or anything about him..but oh well it's nice just to fantasize sometimes.
But anyways it's better to think of positive things like that that on other things.
After this semester is over I have about a month break. I really hate that, but at the same time I probably need a little break. But If I don't find a job before then i'll be working with my parents everyday. But hey I guess it's something to do even if I don't like it. I wish someone would just be like "hey do you want to work here? ok your hired" lol prob won't work that way though.
Going to school everyday fall semester will help...but then again I have every single class with my sister, and I hate that. I want to be independant and away from her. More fights will insue i'm sure but hopefully we can get along spending that much time together. Oh well, why do I always think it's going to be so terrible..it'll be fine.
Well I guess that's pretty much all I have to complain about...until next time byee
