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Humble Pie

Posted by LonelyHiker , 20 March 2012 · 419 views

Things have been up and down lately, mostly down. I did see my pdoc last week, who upped my Cymbalta from 60 to 90. If this doesn't help, I guess it's back to the drawing board. Suicidal thoughts have been creeping back in, and I am not happy about that. Depression sucks. Regression sucks even worse.

I had my son today, which is good. He is on an "angry birds" kick :-) I bought him one of those plush birds, and he loves it. We'll play "chase the angry bird" for hours at a time. He rarely gets tired of it! This weekend is my weekend with him so of course I'm looking forward to that. Think we'll go to the zoo, if the weather is nice. Been a while since we've done that.

My (ex)wife and I had a very pleasant conversation when she picked him up this afternoon. I think we have gotten past the recent FB flap and the attendant fallout. She asked me how auditions were going. I asked her how her 10k training was going. She looks really really good and I told her so. I am trying to do the next right thing and I figure giving my soon-to-be-ex nice compliments is a step in that direction. Still, I guess I am eating my heart out a little. It seems like she has just continued to blossom ever since I moved out :-(
Still, maybe we CAN be friends when all is said and done. It has to be better than harboring bitterness and resentment about the past. I keep asking myself, "What would the Buddha do?".

Too emotionally exhausted to write much else, so I'm out.

  • Violet31 and LibraryLady like this

Mar 20 2012 07:23 PM
I ask myself that often "what would Buddha do?" You can be friends with you ex, but it may be down the road a little. Hang in there!
    • LonelyHiker likes this
I don´t think holy men like Buddha or the Dalai Lama had the challenge of matrimony to deal with. :) But Ghandi would probably have chosen peace and friendship, used universal love to deal with an ex.

It is difficult right now, but once you manage your pain and resentment, the relationship with your ex will be effortless.

I hope you´ll feel better soon.
    • LonelyHiker likes this
Mar 30 2012 10:02 AM
I just had my Cymbalta upped from 60 to 90 also. I'd had a major anxiety attack last weekend with a hysterical crying fit and everything. Talk about regression! Sigh. You'll be fine LonelyHiker. Humble Pie. Wasn't that the name of a 60's rock band? Am I dating myself? :-)
    • LonelyHiker likes this

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