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yifkmc's Blog

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What Do I Do Now?

Posted by yifkmc , 09 January 2013 -

· 226 views

*copied from a board post I made* Hey guys, I just had a really violent cutting episode. One of the worst ones I've done in the past year or so. This was triggered by my Dad. I live with him right now because I can't live on my own. He doesn't really 'get' what mental illness is even though I've tried to get him to understand. He thinks the Doct...

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4 Comments

Been A While...

Posted by yifkmc , 04 August 2012 -

· 126 views

... since my last post. Just have not felt motivated to be posting on a semi regular basis. And here's why...

Got denied Ontario Disability. I'm in the middle of my first appeal and retained a lawyer at the community legal clinic. I've been bummed big time since I received their initial decision.

Was seriously...

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1 Comments

Moving On

Posted by yifkmc , 22 June 2012 -

· 223 views

I've reached that critical point living with Dad and now I've made it my mission to get public housing somewhere else where I can be on my own. Is it the safest thing I could do? No. But the longer I live here the more paranoid I become and I don't want to do something that I may regret whilst having an episode.

I think Dad's major problem...

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2 Comments

Woe Is Me

Posted by yifkmc , 15 June 2012 -

· 183 views

Very down and lonely today.

I feel like I could be so much more but I guess I'm just purposefully holding myself back so I don't end up getting hurt. My Dad says I'm way to sensitive for a guy, but with the amount of suffering I've had from him over the years it's a wonder that I'm still alive.

I've been thinking a lot about...

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Naked Cooking

Posted by yifkmc , 13 June 2012 -

· 213 views

No not naked or in the buff. I know some of you automatically thought that though :P

I'm reading up on this cookbook written by Margaret Floyd. It's a simple little cookbook with 150 gluten free, whole food recipes. So it's basically meant as a guide on how to eat better quality foods in an effort to improve your quality of life. I haven't...

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Nightmares Or Terrors?

Posted by yifkmc , 11 June 2012 -

· 153 views

Hot. Sweaty. Can't breathe.

My dreams of late have been very weird. I dream in such a way that what I'm dreaming crosses over into reality. Now I'm not saying if there's a fire that will cross over into reality, but more the sensations that go along with it. Smell, touch, sound etc.

Last night was particularly bad because I woke up...

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Barely Made It

Posted by yifkmc , 08 June 2012 -

· 185 views

I was up at 5:57 this morning stressing about today and had a horrible sleep to boot. It took a lot to get me out of the door, but I managed to get to my appointment and back home on my own. Small victory.

As for my appointment my pdoc is changing my meds up to the following:

5mg Olanzapine twice a day
15mg Abilify
60mg Remeron
200mg...

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5 Comments

Baby Steps

Posted by yifkmc , 07 June 2012 -

· 184 views

Short entry today.

Tomorrow I will take some important baby steps and force myself to leave the house by myself for my pdoc appointment. It's something that I have been meaning to try, but my fear usually gets the best of me. What I mean is that whenever I leave the house on my own, I get this crippling fear that I will get lost and won't be able...

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1 Comments

Indecisive And Some Extras

Posted by yifkmc , 02 June 2012 -

· 196 views

I have such a hard time even making the simplest decisions because I’m constantly on this rocking horse of indecisiveness. I’m really bad about this when it comes to money and making purchases and I go back and forth so much in my mind that an average person would get tired of all the internal chatter. For example, there is this book that looks...

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I'm Back, Somewhat

Posted by yifkmc , 31 May 2012 -

· 148 views

And not a whole heck of a lot has changed in my situation. I wish I could say I'm back with good news.

Still haven't heard anything about my disability claim. I really thought I would have heard something in my favour by now since I have three expert opinions on my case. It's coming up to the 3 month mark so I should know by June 14th if...

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