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If you - or someone you know - are having thoughts about suicide, call 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Calls are connected to a certified crisis center nearest the caller's location. Services are available 24 hours a day, seven days a week. If you - or someone you know - are having thoughts about suicide, call 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Calls are connected to a certified crisis center nearest the caller's location. Services are available 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

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Very Bad Day

Posted by chacha1 , 09 June 2011 · 178 views

I have had an awful day today I was feeling quite positive at the end of yesterday I had been out with my mum-in-law for a few hours and even tho it was completely exhausting I needed to get out and have some company. but today I felt heavy headed all day and struggled a lot to get out of bed mum-in-law wanted me to take her out for half an hour but I couldn't and kept staring into space it actually felt like a mental form of agony I couldn't talk to anyone on here as I haven't been on my own until now as A is asleep and I don't want him reading this, this is my thing. I tried telling him how I felt but I think its too painful for him to know how much I am suffering I have no idea how I am going to be ok to go back to work next week but I have no money so I have got no choice. I need to reassure myself with knowing that it will get easier but I have only been taking prozac again for a week so it will be a long time before I really do feel better. I made myself go out with A earlier and I do think it helped but even when I am having a laugh with him I still have the heavy feeling and its almost as if I am putting on an act and going through the motions. I have to beleive that this will pass I can't afford for the depression to beat me this time.

Joralyn

Jun 09 2011 07:30 PM

Hi Chacha1 -

Thank you for sharing your story. Please remember to cut yourself a break from time to time - it is going to take time to adjust to any medication (I'm dizzy from WB as I type this, lol). You CAN totally beat this. It's great that you are making yourself get out and do stuff - complacency & cabin fever are two things that will only feed your depression (I know from experience). You sound like someone who really takes pride in their work and home life, and those are both things that make you a great person. It may be painful for your husband to hear about your inner struggles, but I know it was harder on my husband when I would shut down and not talk to him about it - guys like to try and help, even if there's very minimal they can do at that moment. Stay strong & don't give up!

:hugs: