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This Life
Posted by
ThePoisonR1ng
,
15 May 2012
·
98 views
I read my last entry in which I discussed a guy I called "Devil." As far as how I feel about him, I feel next to nothing. I don't love him anymore, but I do, from time to time, check his facebook page. I haven't even done that in a while.
People told me, "You'll forget him. Time will heal your wounds." I thought, "Pfft. This is not the kind of wound that time can or will heal." It sounded so cliche and incapable of fitting around MY specific situation. But it was true; I care absolutely nothing for him now.
My fiance is ... he's great. Sex with him didn't push him away; it made him want me even more. He got me a puppy (at whom I am looking right now). When I cried over Devil, he wiped my tears and held my hand, even while he was hurt that I was sitting there crying over another guy. He kisses the scars I gave to myself. He's so loving and so caring. Sure, I have my problems with him and am not sure that I will be with him forever because of those problems. However, no one loves me like he does. WIth someone like him, it's easier to forget about the devils in my life.
I was kicked out of my home by my mother this past Sunday.
It turns out that my dog had hookworms, and that's why he won't eat and can't hold down anything, even water. I paid $60 for the services he needed, and it was only that much because I asked the doctor to work with me. He graciously agreed to drop the examination fee, which is, I think, around $30.
So... I've lost a home that permitted me to hold a certain job. I was forced to give up the job, because I have no place to stay, and I just wiped my bank account out on Toby (although I don't regret this decision). My mother has no idea has she has devastated my life, in more ways than one.
Toby won't eat, and I'm so upset about it. Friday will be my last check, and I'm so upset about that too. My fiance, while sweet, cannot even afford to get a dollar can of dog food for Toby, and I'm upset about that. I'm just so distraught today. I don't know what to do. I feel helpless and lost in this world.
People told me, "You'll forget him. Time will heal your wounds." I thought, "Pfft. This is not the kind of wound that time can or will heal." It sounded so cliche and incapable of fitting around MY specific situation. But it was true; I care absolutely nothing for him now.
My fiance is ... he's great. Sex with him didn't push him away; it made him want me even more. He got me a puppy (at whom I am looking right now). When I cried over Devil, he wiped my tears and held my hand, even while he was hurt that I was sitting there crying over another guy. He kisses the scars I gave to myself. He's so loving and so caring. Sure, I have my problems with him and am not sure that I will be with him forever because of those problems. However, no one loves me like he does. WIth someone like him, it's easier to forget about the devils in my life.
I was kicked out of my home by my mother this past Sunday.
It turns out that my dog had hookworms, and that's why he won't eat and can't hold down anything, even water. I paid $60 for the services he needed, and it was only that much because I asked the doctor to work with me. He graciously agreed to drop the examination fee, which is, I think, around $30.
So... I've lost a home that permitted me to hold a certain job. I was forced to give up the job, because I have no place to stay, and I just wiped my bank account out on Toby (although I don't regret this decision). My mother has no idea has she has devastated my life, in more ways than one.
Toby won't eat, and I'm so upset about it. Friday will be my last check, and I'm so upset about that too. My fiance, while sweet, cannot even afford to get a dollar can of dog food for Toby, and I'm upset about that. I'm just so distraught today. I don't know what to do. I feel helpless and lost in this world.
