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  Jun 3 2009, 12:00 PM
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Admin Team
Group: Super Administrators
Posts: 10,700
Joined: 15-June 04
From: United States
Member No.: 4
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Posts brought over from our recently closed New Member TopicQUOTE (Trace @ May 20 2009, 04:23 AM)  QUOTE (Debsiedoo @ May 20 2009, 12:41 AM) Hi All, I guess I'm only beginning to admit to myself that I am depressed, I had a number of unfortunate things happen to me in the space of a couple of years and things seemed to spiral for a bit. Just before my finals at high school, I found out that my Dad had been having an affair for 2 years. It absolutely destroyed my Mum, she started to drink. What was worse was that she had known for a while but kept it from me and my brothers because she wanted me to get through my exams. She kept that pain and hurt to herself for a long time. She ended up having a bit of a nervous break down which shook me up badly. When I found out bout his affair, I flipped out badly, I ruined a friendship with a close friend and generally hit the self destruct button. I had put my Dad up on a pedestal for my whole life and to have that come crashing down on me when I was 18, I really took it badly. I tried to make my Dad choose between me or her, and as with most guys when you back them into a corner, he chose her. I guess he thought i was just full of empty threats and having tantrums like a child, I still dont know if he realises how much of an effect this had on me. To this day I still have this niggling feeling that if my Dad didnt choose me, why would any guy. It has ruled most of my relationships thus far. Whilst all the revelations about his affair were coming out, my eldest brother (25) was having major heart surgery, and to make sure they didnt potentially complicate things for him, Mum and Dad played happy families around him. It made me sick to the stomach! During my brothers op, he flatlined when he had an allergic reaction to one of the anaesthetics that he was given. It felt like everything was going wrong all at once. My Mum eventually took my dad back, and they are still together, which is a postive at least. A year later I went to Uni, I still had my so-called Dad issues but my world fell apart once again in the December, when my family and I were caught up in the Tsunami. Miraculously my whole family surviced, but I was very traumatised by just how close I had come to losing my brother and Dad in front of my eyes. I slipped into a dark place after that, I spent most of the next couple of months extremely drunk and sporadically crying. The general feelings I had were...why us again? I failed that year of Uni unsuprisingly, it was hard so to concentrate! I kidded myself after a while that I was on the mend, I didnt need professional... I know now that I was wrong. After failing another year of Uni and ruining friendship after friendship and relationship by blaming everyone/thing else for my problems i just began to settle into a routine, happy until something small happnened and it would turn me into a complete psycho.Over the last few years, I have turned into a pity seeker, I seem to get pleasure in a weird way of being low because people will take notice if I'm down and when they hear my woes they say things like, I dont know how you coped... The truth is, I havent I have been so much happier recently, I have an amazing boyfriend and good friends, but suddenly again over the last couple of months I have noticed myself blaming others for my problems and taking things out on my poor wonderful boyfriend. It would set me very far back if I was to lose him, so I thought it was time to face up to myself and realise that I am depressed. I dont suffer noticeable effects all the time and it isnt debilitating but I want to change. I dont need people's sympathy for things that happened 4-5 years ago, I dont want it to become a part of who I am, my sad pitiful stories. I want to be known for being friendly, confident and bubbly, like i usually am. Not for my moods, my temper etc... If I dont notice an improvement in the next few months, I will go to a doctor, but my first step is to chat to other people about coping methods and see if I have caught myself in time. So any things that have helped you all, or even being the symathetic ear and giving advice myself will be hugely beneficial to my own self treatment, before I consider going to a doctor. Sorry its such a long essay!!!  Hi and Welcome to DF Debsiedoo I am glad that you have realized that you need to reach out. It is never to late to seek help or work on yourself. You have been through an incredible amount of trauma, and you can work through the impact that all this trauma has had on your life. Therapy really can help you to do this, with a specialized trauma therapist. It is very difficult to do it alone, as you may pick up unhealthy coping mechanisms. You may want to check out One Step at a Time for motivation and the Relationship room may help you. Please make yourself feel at home. Trace QUOTE (DarkMatterz @ May 29 2009, 01:34 AM) This is more than just a little difficult for me, but here goes, I was steered toward these forums by someone who knows me well and the fact I have nowhere to turn so most of my issues are untreated and undiscussed by anyone. So I'm here first off hoping it may be an outlet for me as solution searching is not a goal for me anymore. I been to the end of my rope numerous times and the fact I'm still here is amazing in itself, some people say everything has a time and place and there's a reason for everything, as for me, I guess it's still my time and place but reasons, I dont know, maybe I'll find some ideas here. Not much of an intro but here I am, thanks, Vlad...(ppl call me that cuz I'm such a harsh insomniac lol QUOTE (Trace @ May 29 2009, 02:59 AM) QUOTE (DarkMatterz @ May 29 2009, 07:34 AM) This is more than just a little difficult for me, but here goes, I was steered toward these forums by someone who knows me well and the fact I have nowhere to turn so most of my issues are untreated and undiscussed by anyone. So I'm here first off hoping it may be an outlet for me as solution searching is not a goal for me anymore. I been to the end of my rope numerous times and the fact I'm still here is amazing in itself, some people say everything has a time and place and there's a reason for everything, as for me, I guess it's still my time and place but reasons, I dont know, maybe I'll find some ideas here. Not much of an intro but here I am, thanks, Vlad...(ppl call me that cuz I'm such a harsh insomniac lol Hi and Welcome Vlad I am glad that you had the courage to reach out and post here. You really are not alone in the way you feel here and there are a lot of members that also battle with sleep. I hope you find your reason and that we can support you. Please make yourself feel at home. Trace QUOTE (LITTLE BY LITTLE @ May 31 2009, 03:01 PM) QUOTE (suburgatory @ Aug 21 2007, 04:09 PM) This is the place to introduce yourself and tell us what brings you to DF.
If you have any questions, please send a PM to any moderator.
We look forward to getting acquainted with all of you!  Hello from the UK,suffering fom depression for far too long. on meds for 4 years don't know if they are doing me any good(guess not) Spent today in bed as having a bad day, hope you are having good days QUOTE (PRT @ May 31 2009, 03:24 PM) QUOTE (LITTLE BY LITTLE @ May 31 2009, 08:01 PM) Hello from the UK,suffering fom depression for far too long. on meds for 4 years
don't know if they are doing me any good(guess not) Spent today in bed as having a bad day,
hope you are having good days Hi Little by Little  Maybe it's time for a med change if you feel they aren't working? Most of us here can relate to spending days in bed. I really hope you'll find the forums useful. PRT xx QUOTE (sashapoo @ Jun 1 2009, 12:30 AM) Ive been eyeing this site for some time now....Decided to take the plunge and join! Im Sacha, from CO..  Its good to be here. Ive been reading post and its very reassuring to have people who feel just like i do. Its a battle every day. But im slowly getting better....Right now im on STD for major depression and panic disoder. QUOTE (nealy @ Jun 1 2009, 12:47 AM) QUOTE (sashapoo @ May 31 2009, 11:30 PM) Ive been eyeing this site for some time now....Decided to take the plunge and join! Im Sacha, from CO.. Its good to be here. Ive been reading post and its very reassuring to have people who feel just like i do. Its a battle every day. But im slowly getting better....Right now im on STD for major depression and panic disoder. to the DF sashapoo! I'm so glad you decided to join! You are going to find a lot of support and understanding here. You are not alone. I look forward to seeing you around the boards! Please make yourself feel at home. Take care  QUOTE (strawberri_star @ Jun 3 2009, 04:33 AM) Hi, I'm Jessica. I am 15 and joined a few seconds ago. I was diagnosed with Depression and anxiety about 3 months ago, but know I suffered it way before that. I am so glad that there is a website for people to go to for support, and to know that other people out there are going through the same thing. I just need someone to talk to. QUOTE (Trace @ Jun 3 2009, 04:41 AM) QUOTE (strawberri_star @ Jun 3 2009, 10:33 AM) Hi, I'm Jessica. I am 15 and joined a few seconds ago. I was diagnosed with Depression and anxiety about 3 months ago, but know I suffered it way before that. I am so glad that there is a website for people to go to for support, and to know that other people out there are going through the same thing. I just need someone to talk to. Hi and Welcome Jessica I am glad that you found us. You are definately alone and I hope you find a lot of support here. DF's members are compassionate, understanding and caring. Please make yourself feel at home. Trace QUOTE (strawberri_star @ Jun 3 2009, 04:45 AM) Thankyou so much =]
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~Lindsay, Forum Super Administrator, Founder   Hotlines
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Jun 4 2009, 12:15 AM
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Newbie
Group: Newbie
Posts: 9
Joined: 23-May 09
From: AZ
Member No.: 37,011
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Good day to each and everyone of you. I am a 39 yr old female with a 17 yr old son. I have been diagnosed as Bipolar 11 /Anxiety disorder. I have been upgraded from Depressive disorder to Bipolar 11 after two years of trying to be counsled and medicated with no improvement. I have been treated with every drug known to mankind for Bipolar with no improvement. I quit takeing all medication except for xanax for sleep, ativan for panic attacks and propanadol to slow my heart down during a major panic attack. I have learned it is better to keep my mental problems to myself and pretend like everything is fine. If you dont have mental health problems or know someone you are close to going through this, then no one really wants to understand or try to understand. My son has endured many nights takeing care of his mother and being more grown up than most adults in his life. He is my backbone and I can honestly say he is the reason I am living today. Maybe by all of us being together here and discussing all of our differnt treatments, symptoms, medications, and ways of dealing with this not so common impairment, will help us patients and our doctors to better understand this complex health disease. I know my doctor really doesnt know the depths of the problems this has input in mine and my sons life.
Always, crazedymond
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Crazedymond
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Jun 4 2009, 03:27 AM
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Administrative Assistant
Group: Administration
Posts: 19,519
Joined: 28-September 06
From: Sub Saharan Weather Cloud, South Africa
Member No.: 10,376
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QUOTE (crazedymond @ Jun 4 2009, 07:15 AM) Good day to each and everyone of you. I am a 39 yr old female with a 17 yr old son. I have been diagnosed as Bipolar 11 /Anxiety disorder. I have been upgraded from Depressive disorder to Bipolar 11 after two years of trying to be counsled and medicated with no improvement. I have been treated with every drug known to mankind for Bipolar with no improvement. I quit takeing all medication except for xanax for sleep, ativan for panic attacks and propanadol to slow my heart down during a major panic attack. I have learned it is better to keep my mental problems to myself and pretend like everything is fine. If you dont have mental health problems or know someone you are close to going through this, then no one really wants to understand or try to understand. My son has endured many nights takeing care of his mother and being more grown up than most adults in his life. He is my backbone and I can honestly say he is the reason I am living today. Maybe by all of us being together here and discussing all of our differnt treatments, symptoms, medications, and ways of dealing with this not so common impairment, will help us patients and our doctors to better understand this complex health disease. I know my doctor really doesnt know the depths of the problems this has input in mine and my sons life.
Always, crazedymond Hi and Welcome to DF crazedymond It is great to have you here. I am so glad that you have your son. He sounds wonderful! DF is a wonderful place to receive support, understanding and gather information. You can be yourself here and not be judged, as you are not alone here. You may find the Bipolar Room helpful too. Please make yourself feel at home. Trace
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Listen in deep silence. Be very still and open your mind.... Sink deep into the peace that waits for you beyond the frantic, riotous thoughts and sights and sounds of this insane world. - A course of miracles.
True beauty must come, must be grown, from within.... - Ralph W Trine.Faith is the true belief we have in hope and hope is the thing that keeps us going to have faith
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Jun 4 2009, 10:30 AM
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Just Registered
Group: Just Registered
Posts: 4
Joined: 3-June 09
Member No.: 37,382
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Hi everyone, I'm new to this board, it looks pretty cool. :) I've been depressed for a little over 2 years, due to a mix of diff. things, break up with my boyfriend, growing older, Meniere's Syndrome (an inner ear problem), and disappointment with life in general. I take Zoloft, but it doesn't seem to be helping as much as it once did. I feel a sense of loss and abandonment. No matter what I do I feel bad most of the time. I don't want to leave my apartment anymore, partially because I don't know when I'll have a vertigo attack and also because I have become fearful of leaving. This is the first time in my life I have felt true fear. I don't know how to get out of this. I became clean & sober 4 years ago and thought that things would get better because of it. I guess they have, I never want to drink again, but sometimes I feel worse now than I did when I drank.  I hope this forum can help me see some light at the end of the tunnel.
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Jun 7 2009, 09:17 AM
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Just Registered
Group: Just Registered
Posts: 3
Joined: 7-June 09
From: Northern California
Member No.: 37,507
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Hi - I'm here not because I suffer from depression, but to learn more about it. I need to understand depression - what it truly FEELS like and why it is so destructive. Especially, what compels over 500,000 per year to attempt suicide and over 30,000 to complete it in this country (USA) alone.
Reading these posts brings out so many emotions and I wish I could gather all of you in my arms and make it better. I've researched depression for years, but mostly in the last two, when my 31 year old son completed suicide.
I am not a fan of allopathic medicine and the dangerous drugs they push. I hope I can help with alternatives I've learned that are very promising and, naturally, condemned by many doctors.
God Love all of you!
This post has been edited by cajajo: Jun 7 2009, 09:18 AM
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Jun 7 2009, 09:53 AM
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Assistant Administrator/Mod Coordinator
Group: Administration
Posts: 18,567
Joined: 6-September 04
From: Santa Rosa CA
Member No.: 637
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QUOTE (cajajo @ Jun 7 2009, 06:17 AM) Hi - I'm here not because I suffer from depression, but to learn more about it. I need to understand depression - what it truly FEELS like and why it is so destructive. Especially, what compels over 500,000 per year to attempt suicide and over 30,000 to complete it in this country (USA) alone.
Reading these posts brings out so many emotions and I wish I could gather all of you in my arms and make it better. I've researched depression for years, but mostly in the last two, when my 31 year old son completed suicide.
I am not a fan of allopathic medicine and the dangerous drugs they push. I hope I can help with alternatives I've learned that are very promising and, naturally, condemned by many doctors.
God Love all of you! to DF, cajajo, My condolences for the tragic loss of your son. You've done a bit of research regarding depression. The statistics you posted may or may not be an eye opener for state/local government to follow up what depression is causing to their citizens. Learning about depression is something we also share with people who've never experienced it. Educating the population about mental illness will remove the stigma. There are "alternative" type treatments in One Step At A Time and Posting, Asking and Sharing. DF is pro- meds. We are open to holistic healing. Since we are all different, methods of treatment will vary from person to person. Sheewpoman
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It is not the life I lived; but the life I leave behind. Sheepwoman |
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 Jun 7 2009, 04:56 PM
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Newbie
Group: Newbie
Posts: 23
Joined: 16-December 07
Member No.: 21,279
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Hello, I am a 55 year old woman that lives in New Hampshire. I've had a pretty stressful life but I managed to hold things together until about two years ago. I made a mistake at work, not a big one, but I started crying and just couldn't seem to stop. I thought I was going crazy because I felt out of control. The good news is that I finally got help. The bad news is this new life of feeling can be pretty scary. I'm hoping to find other people that understand how hard it can be to just get out of bed. red53 
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[font="Comic Sans MS"][/font]
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Jun 7 2009, 07:09 PM
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Newbie
Group: Newbie
Posts: 5
Joined: 7-June 09
From: England
Member No.: 37,518
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Hey, im a 17 year old male, feel as if my life is usless, very depressed and dont know how to tell anyone, so maybe i can say a few things here i dont know.
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Jun 8 2009, 04:31 AM
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Administrative Assistant
Group: Administration
Posts: 19,519
Joined: 28-September 06
From: Sub Saharan Weather Cloud, South Africa
Member No.: 10,376
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QUOTE (red53 @ Jun 7 2009, 11:56 PM) Hello, I am a 55 year old woman that lives in New Hampshire. I've had a pretty stressful life but I managed to hold things together until about two years ago. I made a mistake at work, not a big one, but I started crying and just couldn't seem to stop. I thought I was going crazy because I felt out of control. The good news is that I finally got help. The bad news is this new life of feeling can be pretty scary. I'm hoping to find other people that understand how hard it can be to just get out of bed. red53 Hi and Welcome red53 You are definately not alone here and you will be understood. I am glad that you finally got help. It can make a difference. It can be hard accepting depression, but it can be done. I hope we can help you reach acceptance. There are many ways to come. Please make yourself feel at home. Trace
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Listen in deep silence. Be very still and open your mind.... Sink deep into the peace that waits for you beyond the frantic, riotous thoughts and sights and sounds of this insane world. - A course of miracles.
True beauty must come, must be grown, from within.... - Ralph W Trine.Faith is the true belief we have in hope and hope is the thing that keeps us going to have faith
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Jun 8 2009, 04:32 AM
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Administrative Assistant
Group: Administration
Posts: 19,519
Joined: 28-September 06
From: Sub Saharan Weather Cloud, South Africa
Member No.: 10,376
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QUOTE (Bloodred @ Jun 8 2009, 02:09 AM) Hey, im a 17 year old male, feel as if my life is usless, very depressed and dont know how to tell anyone, so maybe i can say a few things here i dont know. Hi and Welcome to DF Darkred I am sorry that you are battling with depression. It can be hard to talk about, especially if no one understands. You have found the right place for support and understanding. Please feel free to post and make yourself feel at home. Trace
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Listen in deep silence. Be very still and open your mind.... Sink deep into the peace that waits for you beyond the frantic, riotous thoughts and sights and sounds of this insane world. - A course of miracles.
True beauty must come, must be grown, from within.... - Ralph W Trine.Faith is the true belief we have in hope and hope is the thing that keeps us going to have faith
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Jun 8 2009, 10:47 AM
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Just Registered
Group: Just Registered
Posts: 1
Joined: 8-June 09
Member No.: 37,535
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hello... i am 38 y.o. male who has been out of work since last Dec..........ive been battling depression for almost a year now...i was diagnosed last Oct. i was put on paxil, then was taken off for Effexor 150mg in the morning 75mg at night. i also take Trazodone 50 mg for sleep....I suffer from migrane headaches, and have minor back problems...
I also have tried group therapy this past march...which seemed to help me along with the new meds....until a few weeks ago...
i seem to be falling back into the depression grip.
I guess that would lead to me being here. I want to feel better about myself. Just maybe talking with others might help me. I hate depression. I wouldnt wish it on anyone. It is no fun.
anyway, I thought this would be a good start, thought i would introduce myself...
Tabou
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Jun 8 2009, 11:16 AM
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Administrative Assistant
Group: Administration
Posts: 19,519
Joined: 28-September 06
From: Sub Saharan Weather Cloud, South Africa
Member No.: 10,376
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QUOTE (tabou @ Jun 8 2009, 05:47 PM) hello... i am 38 y.o. male who has been out of work since last Dec..........ive been battling depression for almost a year now...i was diagnosed last Oct. i was put on paxil, then was taken off for Effexor 150mg in the morning 75mg at night. i also take Trazodone 50 mg for sleep....I suffer from migrane headaches, and have minor back problems...
I also have tried group therapy this past march...which seemed to help me along with the new meds....until a few weeks ago...
i seem to be falling back into the depression grip.
I guess that would lead to me being here. I want to feel better about myself. Just maybe talking with others might help me. I hate depression. I wouldnt wish it on anyone. It is no fun.
anyway, I thought this would be a good start, thought i would introduce myself...
Tabou Hi and Welcome to DF Tabou I am glad that you have joined us. Talking about it definately helps. I hope you find it supportive and informative here. I am sorry that you atr battling at the moment. You may want to go back to your doc, incase you need a med adjustment. Depression is terrible. You may find the Effexor and Other Medications Rooms helpful. Please make yourself feel at home. Trace
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Listen in deep silence. Be very still and open your mind.... Sink deep into the peace that waits for you beyond the frantic, riotous thoughts and sights and sounds of this insane world. - A course of miracles.
True beauty must come, must be grown, from within.... - Ralph W Trine.Faith is the true belief we have in hope and hope is the thing that keeps us going to have faith
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Jun 11 2009, 12:41 PM
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Newbie
Group: Newbie
Posts: 21
Joined: 11-June 09
From: Canada
Member No.: 37,643
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Hi All,
I joined DF to share my story of the suicidal depression I went through for about 2 years. I lead a very happy life right now. I'm here to learn from other people, offer my advice on how I overcame depression, and just lend a helping hand.
Cheers,
Napoleon Will
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Jun 11 2009, 01:00 PM
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Administrative Assistant
Group: Administration
Posts: 19,519
Joined: 28-September 06
From: Sub Saharan Weather Cloud, South Africa
Member No.: 10,376
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QUOTE (NapoleonWill @ Jun 11 2009, 07:41 PM) Hi All,
I joined DF to share my story of the suicidal depression I went through for about 2 years. I lead a very happy life right now. I'm here to learn from other people, offer my advice on how I overcame depression, and just lend a helping hand.
Cheers,
Napoleon Will Hi and Welcome to DF Napoleon Will I think its inspirational that you lead a happy life now. It can show others so much hope. I am glad that you are here. Please make yourself feel at home. Trace
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Listen in deep silence. Be very still and open your mind.... Sink deep into the peace that waits for you beyond the frantic, riotous thoughts and sights and sounds of this insane world. - A course of miracles.
True beauty must come, must be grown, from within.... - Ralph W Trine.Faith is the true belief we have in hope and hope is the thing that keeps us going to have faith
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Jun 11 2009, 02:36 PM
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Newbie
Group: Newbie
Posts: 9
Joined: 23-May 09
From: AZ
Member No.: 37,011
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QUOTE (NapoleonWill @ Jun 11 2009, 10:41 AM) Hi All,
I joined DF to share my story of the suicidal depression I went through for about 2 years. I lead a very happy life right now. I'm here to learn from other people, offer my advice on how I overcame depression, and just lend a helping hand.
Cheers,
Napoleon Will It is good to know there is a light at the end of this dark tunnel!
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Crazedymond
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 Jun 11 2009, 03:17 PM
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Newbie
Group: Newbie
Posts: 8
Joined: 11-June 09
From: UK
Member No.: 37,647
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QUOTE (Forum Admin @ Jun 3 2009, 05:53 PM) This is the place to introduce yourself in Depression Central and to tell us what brings you to DF. If you have any questions, please send a PM to any moderator as we look forward to getting acquainted with all of you! Hiya Im Sylviap and computer illiterate - at least I didnt know it till I tried to put a posting on here. I learn by experience so I hope I can keep going long enough till I get it. The bit about why I joined is on my profile, but Im happy to chat about things and give support where I can.
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[font="Century Gothic"][/font] Live and let live. Life is too short to be miserable. Laugh and the world laughs with you.
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Jun 11 2009, 03:19 PM
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Member
Group: Platinum Member
Posts: 4,824
Joined: 20-February 09
From: UK
Member No.: 33,974
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QUOTE (sylviap @ Jun 11 2009, 09:17 PM) QUOTE (Forum Admin @ Jun 3 2009, 05:53 PM) This is the place to introduce yourself in Depression Central and to tell us what brings you to DF. If you have any questions, please send a PM to any moderator as we look forward to getting acquainted with all of you! Hiya Im Sylviap and computer illiterate - at least I didnt know it till I tried to put a posting on here. I learn by experience so I hope I can keep going long enough till I get it. The bit about why I joined is on my profile, but Im happy to chat about things and give support where I can. Hi SylviaP Don't worry, it can be a little confusing at first but you'll pick it up in no time! Any questions, just send me or another mod a pm. Thanks for being on board and look forward to finding out more about you - will have a read of your profile! PRT xx
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To see a world in a grain of sand And a heaven in a wild flower, Hold infinity in the palm of your hand And eternity in an hour. |
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Jun 11 2009, 03:41 PM
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Newbie
Group: Newbie
Posts: 8
Joined: 11-June 09
From: UK
Member No.: 37,647
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QUOTE (PRT @ Jun 11 2009, 09:19 PM) QUOTE (sylviap @ Jun 11 2009, 09:17 PM) QUOTE (Forum Admin @ Jun 3 2009, 05:53 PM) This is the place to introduce yourself in Depression Central and to tell us what brings you to DF. If you have any questions, please send a PM to any moderator as we look forward to getting acquainted with all of you! Hiya Im Sylviap and computer illiterate - at least I didnt know it till I tried to put a posting on here. I learn by experience so I hope I can keep going long enough till I get it. The bit about why I joined is on my profile, but Im happy to chat about things and give support where I can. Hi SylviaP Don't worry, it can be a little confusing at first but you'll pick it up in no time! Any questions, just send me or another mod a pm. Thanks for being on board and look forward to finding out more about you - will have a read of your profile! PRT xx Thank you for your really encouraging reply. I think I have the British reserve. I have kept the depth of my depression so secret that I wasnt sure how much to say, but people do seem pretty open on here, so here goes. I have suffered depression for a very long time and it is a lot better than it was, but I am having a more low period at the moment, triggered by the loss of my Mum and my best friend within 6 months of each other. I am divorced and have a child with special needs, so my life is very restricted (my ex husband is at the other end of the world now) and there seems to be fewer and fewer people in my life. I dont know how other people feel but I think when Im like this that people arent being close to me, but I wonder if its because I find it hard to be close to them whilst hiding depression. I would love to have a good relationship but seem destined to pick men who put a distance between me and them and am afraid I am not capable of any other kind of relationship. I do have some good female friends and have kept my friends for a long time, but have moved about the UK so they are not near. Sorry to go on. I hate showing this much miserable but thank you for listening.
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[font="Century Gothic"][/font] Live and let live. Life is too short to be miserable. Laugh and the world laughs with you.
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Jun 12 2009, 03:00 AM
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Administrative Assistant
Group: Administration
Posts: 19,519
Joined: 28-September 06
From: Sub Saharan Weather Cloud, South Africa
Member No.: 10,376
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QUOTE (sylviap @ Jun 11 2009, 10:41 PM) QUOTE (PRT @ Jun 11 2009, 09:19 PM) QUOTE (sylviap @ Jun 11 2009, 09:17 PM) QUOTE (Forum Admin @ Jun 3 2009, 05:53 PM) This is the place to introduce yourself in Depression Central and to tell us what brings you to DF. If you have any questions, please send a PM to any moderator as we look forward to getting acquainted with all of you! Hiya Im Sylviap and computer illiterate - at least I didnt know it till I tried to put a posting on here. I learn by experience so I hope I can keep going long enough till I get it. The bit about why I joined is on my profile, but Im happy to chat about things and give support where I can. Hi SylviaP Don't worry, it can be a little confusing at first but you'll pick it up in no time! Any questions, just send me or another mod a pm. Thanks for being on board and look forward to finding out more about you - will have a read of your profile! PRT xx Thank you for your really encouraging reply. I think I have the British reserve. I have kept the depth of my depression so secret that I wasnt sure how much to say, but people do seem pretty open on here, so here goes. I have suffered depression for a very long time and it is a lot better than it was, but I am having a more low period at the moment, triggered by the loss of my Mum and my best friend within 6 months of each other. I am divorced and have a child with special needs, so my life is very restricted (my ex husband is at the other end of the world now) and there seems to be fewer and fewer people in my life. I dont know how other people feel but I think when Im like this that people arent being close to me, but I wonder if its because I find it hard to be close to them whilst hiding depression. I would love to have a good relationship but seem destined to pick men who put a distance between me and them and am afraid I am not capable of any other kind of relationship. I do have some good female friends and have kept my friends for a long time, but have moved about the UK so they are not near. Sorry to go on. I hate showing this much miserable but thank you for listening. Hi and Welcome to DF Sylviap You are doing well with your posting! It may take a little time, but you will eventually get used to it. I am sorry to hear about the loss of your Mom and best friend. That must be devastating for you. I hope we can help break your isolation here and give you some much needed support. You may find the bereavement room very helpful. It is password protected. Please PM any moderator or Admin for the password. Any learned patterns can be changed, you may also find the Relationship room helpful. Please make yourself feel at home. Trace
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Listen in deep silence. Be very still and open your mind.... Sink deep into the peace that waits for you beyond the frantic, riotous thoughts and sights and sounds of this insane world. - A course of miracles.
True beauty must come, must be grown, from within.... - Ralph W Trine.Faith is the true belief we have in hope and hope is the thing that keeps us going to have faith
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Jun 14 2009, 07:53 AM
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Just Registered
Group: Just Registered
Posts: 2
Joined: 14-June 09
From: Debatable
Member No.: 37,728
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Hello.
I have recently been diagnosed with depression, but I know it has been with me for a long time. It has been hard facing the depression. I don't like it. I always thought if i tried hard enough I could control the way I felt and acted. I was wrong. I have been trying to deal with it myself for too long. I wanted people to see that I was strong and capable. I didn't want people to know that I find it hard sleeping, and that I cry uncontrollably at any time for no reason. I didn't want others to know I was scared even to go to the dairy, or to the letter box in case I had to interact with my neighbors. Human interchange frightened me. A lot. But it slowly caught up with me and I had to leave my successful job as a top salesman because it became a struggle to get out of bed. I became fearful of the outside world. I always was, but now it was showing. And I don't like that, because people now know I have a mental illness, and I never wanted to be unwell. But I am. And I'm learning that it's okay. But it doesn't make it any easier.
My life has been hard and heavy. I don't want that life anymore.
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Jun 14 2009, 08:08 AM
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Administrative Assistant
Group: Administration
Posts: 19,519
Joined: 28-September 06
From: Sub Saharan Weather Cloud, South Africa
Member No.: 10,376
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QUOTE (Evincoomnus @ Jun 14 2009, 02:53 PM) Hello.
I have recently been diagnosed with depression, but I know it has been with me for a long time. It has been hard facing the depression. I don't like it. I always thought if i tried hard enough I could control the way I felt and acted. I was wrong. I have been trying to deal with it myself for too long. I wanted people to see that I was strong and capable. I didn't want people to know that I find it hard sleeping, and that I cry uncontrollably at any time for no reason. I didn't want others to know I was scared even to go to the dairy, or to the letter box in case I had to interact with my neighbors. Human interchange frightened me. A lot. But it slowly caught up with me and I had to leave my successful job as a top salesman because it became a struggle to get out of bed. I became fearful of the outside world. I always was, but now it was showing. And I don't like that, because people now know I have a mental illness, and I never wanted to be unwell. But I am. And I'm learning that it's okay. But it doesn't make it any easier.
My life has been hard and heavy. I don't want that life anymore. Hi and Welcome to DF Evincoomnus It is wonderful to have you here. It is hard to accept depression, but it looks like you got to a point where you really needed the help. I am glad that you are coming to terms with your depression. I hope we can help you on your journey. Please make yourself feel at home. Trace
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Listen in deep silence. Be very still and open your mind.... Sink deep into the peace that waits for you beyond the frantic, riotous thoughts and sights and sounds of this insane world. - A course of miracles.
True beauty must come, must be grown, from within.... - Ralph W Trine.Faith is the true belief we have in hope and hope is the thing that keeps us going to have faith
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Jun 15 2009, 10:16 PM
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Newbie
Group: Newbie
Posts: 22
Joined: 15-June 09
From: State of Confusion, U.S.
Member No.: 37,767
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Hi.. First time here.. Don't really have a lot to say yet.. I've tried other places and other things and have no good results.. For me, I have several issues, possibly all related.. I'm not good at talking about myself on a personal level.. But things are not going well.. It seems most forums really don't want to hear from people who are in the pit, only those well into or already recovered.. I was well into recovery, but now it's bad again, really bad, because things have put me in a lousy situation.. so if this place really isn't for people stuck at the bottom of the pit, if I'm only going to get people telling me I like being the victim, it's all in your head, etc., then tell me now so I don't waste anyone's time cause frankly I didn't ask for any of it.. I know someone already said this is the right place, but can't hurt to ask again since this is a new intro in a different category.. Thanks.. Sorry for the neg...
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Jun 16 2009, 02:23 AM
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Administrative Assistant
Group: Administration
Posts: 19,519
Joined: 28-September 06
From: Sub Saharan Weather Cloud, South Africa
Member No.: 10,376
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QUOTE (NoOne1 @ Jun 16 2009, 05:16 AM) Hi.. First time here.. Don't really have a lot to say yet.. I've tried other places and other things and have no good results.. For me, I have several issues, possibly all related.. I'm not good at talking about myself on a personal level.. But things are not going well.. It seems most forums really don't want to hear from people who are in the pit, only those well into or already recovered.. I was well into recovery, but now it's bad again, really bad, because things have put me in a lousy situation.. so if this place really isn't for people stuck at the bottom of the pit, if I'm only going to get people telling me I like being the victim, it's all in your head, etc., then tell me now so I don't waste anyone's time cause frankly I didn't ask for any of it.. I know someone already said this is the right place, but can't hurt to ask again since this is a new intro in a different category.. Thanks.. Sorry for the neg... Hi and Welcome to DF NoOne1 It is good to have you here. You are in the right place. We are here for people who need support while going through a bad place in their lives. The members are understanding, wonderful and supportive. If you are need of extra support, please feel free to post in Members Needing Extra Support Now. Please make yourself feel at home. Trace
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Listen in deep silence. Be very still and open your mind.... Sink deep into the peace that waits for you beyond the frantic, riotous thoughts and sights and sounds of this insane world. - A course of miracles.
True beauty must come, must be grown, from within.... - Ralph W Trine.Faith is the true belief we have in hope and hope is the thing that keeps us going to have faith
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Jun 17 2009, 10:17 AM
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Just Registered
Group: Just Registered
Posts: 4
Joined: 14-June 09
From: NH
Member No.: 37,730
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why, why, does it to be so hard everyday I feel so helpless, I can't move, I can't think. It is so bad lately I know my meds are not working and none of my docs are doing much about it. I am so tired of living like this!! I am currently on 120mg cymbalta and 10 mg abilify. Does anyone have any suggestions on some other meds that have worked better than living like this, something anything so I can go to the doc and say lets try this instead!! Why are we stricken with depression, it's just not fair, to me, the kids, my husband they so badly deserve the mom/wife I used to be.
Please someone talk to me!
Heartbroken
Shaina
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Jun 17 2009, 10:42 AM
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Just Registered
Group: Just Registered
Posts: 3
Joined: 12-June 09
From: UK
Member No.: 37,669
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I have been taking Zoloft (we call it Lustral in the UK) for about 15 years on and off now because as long as I can remember chronic worry and anxiety and depression has blighted my life.
I particularly worry what others think of me and if I might have upset them even if there is no proof of this. Even if I did not particularly like the person I would still worry if I thought that they didn't like me. I know that you can't please everyone all the time so why do I feel that I have to? and why am I so distressed when I inevitable can't? I also am totally unable to cope with criticism and confrontation and will do nearly ANYTHING to avoid them. This has got worse with age and will actually make me shake with anxiety should I have to deal with any.
Due to this for as long as I can remember I have had difficulty expressing my true feelings for fear that others will not agree and therefore not like me. I bite my tongue and agree but what I would have liked to have said goes round and round in my head making me angry with myself for not being true to myself. I was bullied all through senior school and do think that this has worsened since then which In a way I can understand.
I also have found myself constantly morphing into what I think the situation or the person wants me to be. For example from feeling "ugly & boring" at school I decided that when I left I would completely change my personality/looks/attitude/everything!! and show them by getting a series of "glamorous" jobs - they varied from singer to airline cabin crew. Even though I was successful in my (many) different career choices I always felt like an impostor, as if i was playing a part. Which in reality I was as I felt that the real me wasn't good enough.
I am only in my mid thirties and would love to have some insight into why I am like this and advice on how to gaining control.
The medication keeps me working and gettong out of bed in the morning but I do worry about the "numb" feeling that I have a lot of the time and how it has reacted to alcohol in the past.
I have tried counselling but didn't feel that it helped so I keep on taking the Zoloft!!
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Jun 17 2009, 10:56 AM
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Administrative Assistant
Group: Administration
Posts: 19,519
Joined: 28-September 06
From: Sub Saharan Weather Cloud, South Africa
Member No.: 10,376
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QUOTE (4eva @ Jun 17 2009, 05:17 PM) why, why, does it to be so hard everyday I feel so helpless, I can't move, I can't think. It is so bad lately I know my meds are not working and none of my docs are doing much about it. I am so tired of living like this!! I am currently on 120mg cymbalta and 10 mg abilify. Does anyone have any suggestions on some other meds that have worked better than living like this, something anything so I can go to the doc and say lets try this instead!! Why are we stricken with depression, it's just not fair, to me, the kids, my husband they so badly deserve the mom/wife I used to be.
Please someone talk to me!
Heartbroken
Shaina Hi and Welcome Shaina I am so sorry that you are battling and that your docs are not listening. If they are not listening, could you possibly find another doc, as perhaps you do need a med change or a dosage increase. You are really not alone. Trace
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Listen in deep silence. Be very still and open your mind.... Sink deep into the peace that waits for you beyond the frantic, riotous thoughts and sights and sounds of this insane world. - A course of miracles.
True beauty must come, must be grown, from within.... - Ralph W Trine.Faith is the true belief we have in hope and hope is the thing that keeps us going to have faith
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Jun 17 2009, 11:00 AM
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Administrative Assistant
Group: Administration
Posts: 19,519
Joined: 28-September 06
From: Sub Saharan Weather Cloud, South Africa
Member No.: 10,376
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QUOTE (Conchita @ Jun 17 2009, 05:42 PM) I have been taking Zoloft (we call it Lustral in the UK) for about 15 years on and off now because as long as I can remember chronic worry and anxiety and depression has blighted my life.
I particularly worry what others think of me and if I might have upset them even if there is no proof of this. Even if I did not particularly like the person I would still worry if I thought that they didn't like me. I know that you can't please everyone all the time so why do I feel that I have to? and why am I so distressed when I inevitable can't? I also am totally unable to cope with criticism and confrontation and will do nearly ANYTHING to avoid them. This has got worse with age and will actually make me shake with anxiety should I have to deal with any.
Due to this for as long as I can remember I have had difficulty expressing my true feelings for fear that others will not agree and therefore not like me. I bite my tongue and agree but what I would have liked to have said goes round and round in my head making me angry with myself for not being true to myself. I was bullied all through senior school and do think that this has worsened since then which In a way I can understand.
I also have found myself constantly morphing into what I think the situation or the person wants me to be. For example from feeling "ugly & boring" at school I decided that when I left I would completely change my personality/looks/attitude/everything!! and show them by getting a series of "glamorous" jobs - they varied from singer to airline cabin crew. Even though I was successful in my (many) different career choices I always felt like an impostor, as if i was playing a part. Which in reality I was as I felt that the real me wasn't good enough.
I am only in my mid thirties and would love to have some insight into why I am like this and advice on how to gaining control.
The medication keeps me working and gettong out of bed in the morning but I do worry about the "numb" feeling that I have a lot of the time and how it has reacted to alcohol in the past.
I have tried counselling but didn't feel that it helped so I keep on taking the Zoloft!! Hi and Welcome Conchita It sounds like you have lost yourself through trying to please others. You can find yourself and be comfortable with yourself. It takes a lot of hard work. Therapy does help. I realize that you have tried counseling, but sometimes it takes a while to find the right therapist for you. The right one can change your life and your mind set. Please make yourself feel at home. Trace
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Listen in deep silence. Be very still and open your mind.... Sink deep into the peace that waits for you beyond the frantic, riotous thoughts and sights and sounds of this insane world. - A course of miracles.
True beauty must come, must be grown, from within.... - Ralph W Trine.Faith is the true belief we have in hope and hope is the thing that keeps us going to have faith
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Jun 24 2009, 06:56 PM
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Just Registered
Group: Just Registered
Posts: 2
Joined: 24-June 09
Member No.: 38,043
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Hey everyone. I'm 21 yr old male in the navy. I left all my friends at home behind (whom I haven't stayed in contact with), and all my friends I've developed here have come and are now gone. I'm 1,100 miles away from home and haven't seen my fiance and family since Christmas. I'm in a special program, and I feel that since I'm in this program I cannot go to someone directly to talk about my depression. I've spent the past year getting ready for the point I'm at now. And I got to within 2 days of graduation only to be set back. So now I'm sitting around with nothing to do besides janitor work for the next few weeks before I get another shot at it. I was on a small team of highly motivated individuals and after rolling out, they only had insults and bad things to say about me when they didn't know I was in the room. I gave 100% out there and it's basically from going to an all time high to an all time low. I've never been this depressed in my life and it just seems like I can't do anything right at this point. Hopefully this forum can help me get through this difficult time.
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Jun 25 2009, 02:05 AM
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Administrative Assistant
Group: Administration
Posts: 19,519
Joined: 28-September 06
From: Sub Saharan Weather Cloud, South Africa
Member No.: 10,376
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QUOTE (garneroutlaw @ Jun 25 2009, 01:56 AM) Hey everyone. I'm 21 yr old male in the navy. I left all my friends at home behind (whom I haven't stayed in contact with), and all my friends I've developed here have come and are now gone. I'm 1,100 miles away from home and haven't seen my fiance and family since Christmas. I'm in a special program, and I feel that since I'm in this program I cannot go to someone directly to talk about my depression. I've spent the past year getting ready for the point I'm at now. And I got to within 2 days of graduation only to be set back. So now I'm sitting around with nothing to do besides janitor work for the next few weeks before I get another shot at it. I was on a small team of highly motivated individuals and after rolling out, they only had insults and bad things to say about me when they didn't know I was in the room. I gave 100% out there and it's basically from going to an all time high to an all time low. I've never been this depressed in my life and it just seems like I can't do anything right at this point. Hopefully this forum can help me get through this difficult time. Hi and Welcome to DF garneroutlaw We are definitely here to help you through this difficult time. You can open up here and be understood. Sometimes when things seem at their worst, the only way is to move forward, even if you can't see it. Please make yourself feel at home. Trace
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Listen in deep silence. Be very still and open your mind.... Sink deep into the peace that waits for you beyond the frantic, riotous thoughts and sights and sounds of this insane world. - A course of miracles.
True beauty must come, must be grown, from within.... - Ralph W Trine.Faith is the true belief we have in hope and hope is the thing that keeps us going to have faith
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Jun 25 2009, 02:06 AM
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Administrative Assistant
Group: Administration
Posts: 19,519
Joined: 28-September 06
From: Sub Saharan Weather Cloud, South Africa
Member No.: 10,376
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QUOTE (whatsizbucket @ Jun 25 2009, 02:10 AM) Just little 'ol me. Not much to say, just wanted to say howdy, and that I came to DF DC for help getting myself better acquainted with more coping mechanisms. Hi and Welcome whatsizbucket Its been good seeing you around the board. I hope we help you immensely with coping mechanisms. You know we are always here for you. Keep posting. Trace
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Listen in deep silence. Be very still and open your mind.... Sink deep into the peace that waits for you beyond the frantic, riotous thoughts and sights and sounds of this insane world. - A course of miracles.
True beauty must come, must be grown, from within.... - Ralph W Trine.Faith is the true belief we have in hope and hope is the thing that keeps us going to have faith
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Jun 25 2009, 08:56 PM
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Newbie
Group: Newbie
Posts: 13
Joined: 25-June 09
From: Michigan
Member No.: 38,086
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Greetings and Salutations!
(God, I feel like I'm in a support group or something...okay, that was a stupid remark--I AM! ...but still. It really has that feel of, "Hi, my name's Clementine, and I have the crazy.")
Anywho, I guess that you could call me depressed. I've never been diagnosed with depression, and I've never been to see a mental health physician. However, I know that there's something not right about me. I have no joy in life, am easily angered, and feel incredibly guilty all of the time. The only way that I seem to be able to deal at all with these feelings is by cutting myself. I know that this isn't healthy, mentally or physically, but it's almost like I'm letting out the bad feelings and punishing myself all at once (feelings of guilt and anger--you know)
I suppose I ought to provide a little self history. My grandfather, mother, uncle, and one of my cousins are all manic depressive, and my eldest sister has mild Asperger's. I myself am usually a bubbly, brash, and joyous 17-year-old. I just finished my freshman year of college and it was probably the best year of my life. However, this summer, especially in the past month or so, I find myself losing hope in everything and becoming very angry and confined-feeling.
There are many things that I think could be contributing to this depression. I'm currently in a relationship with a young man that I met at school; we live eight hours apart when not at school. In addition to being my boyfriend, he's also my best friend, and I miss him terribly. Of all the reasons that I might be depressed, this is probably the least important. More important is the fact that, right now, I haven't enough money to pay for next semester of college. I was raised by my grandparents on Social Security, and thus have very little money. Even with academic scholarships and federal/state grants, I'm still quite short. The idea of not being able to go back to my college in the fall sickens me, to be honest.
Of all the factors that could be contributing to my depression, my grandparents' current health situation is probably the worst of it. My grandmother has MS, and the summer heat makes her very weak. She can't stand for long periods of time and can't hold a job or go shopping or work in her garden at all. My grandfather has terrible heart problems, and is also aging very poorly. He forgets how to do simple things and sleeps most of the day. I don't blame them for making me depressed, not at all; it's just that I take up a lot of the slack in housework and caretaking. Financially, my grandparents only survive on Social Security and thus fall deeper into debt every month. Should something happen to one of my grandparents, there wouldn't be enough money to keep my childhood home, which is another thought that disturbs me deeply.
I'm really sorry for taking up so much space with problems and issues that really aren't that severe. I honestly feel very selfish for taking up so much space with such trivial things. But I would like to know how I ought to deal with my feelings of depression and guilt. I don't think that I ought to tell my grandparents with the way that their physical health has been, and I can't tell my sister or mother because they both have mental problems of their own to deal with and it doesn't seem fair to dump mine on them, too. I have always been known as the "sane one" in my family. Kind of our "last, best hope," if you know what I mean. But now, with me being all depressed and stuff, I feel like I've let my family down. Right now, they mostly just think that I'm grumpy or PMSing.
Basically, the only reason that I joined this forum is so maybe someone can give me some constructive ways to deal with my depression. I know that I should probably see a professional, but that would mean that I'd have to tell someone that I'm depressed and harming myself. I don't want to commit suicide, because I know that things will get better sometime; I just feel the need to cause myself pain.
Thank you for reading all the way through my stupid, kind of selfish rant about my "problems." It would mean a whole lot to me if you would reply, even just saying "Hi."
Blessings to all,
Clementine
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The storm is coming but I don't mind,
People are dying, I close my blinds,
All I can do is keep breathing.
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Jun 25 2009, 09:12 PM
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Advanced Member
Group: Advanced Member
Posts: 253
Joined: 17-April 09
From: N.Ireland
Member No.: 35,864
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Hiya Clementine and to DF!!! Firstly Id like to say that what you described in your post is not trivial at all and this is what DF is here for, to allow everyone to talk about what is going on with them and get support and advice from other members or even just understanding. Sounds like a very tough and stressful situation to be in and that you are doing an amazing job by taking on a lot of the housework and care so you should feel very proud of yourself. Im sure that by letting your family know how your feeling that you wouldnt be letting them down, especially if they are dealing with mental illness themselves as they are far more likely to understand your feelings and know that it is not something that is anybodys fault, mental illness can affect anyone. There is a self injury section of the forum which you may find useful as there are some posts about some prevention ideas and the like which you can get access to by sending a pm to any of the moderators asking them for the password to it. Anyways sorry for my lack of help, its 3am here and my brain isnt working  These forums are a wealth of information and support so I hope you make yourself at home in them. Spencer xoxo (oops had to edit because I thought it was 2am, its actually now 3am o.O- see my brain is pickled!!)
This post has been edited by x_Spencer_x: Jun 25 2009, 09:13 PM
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Jun 26 2009, 02:49 AM
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Administrative Assistant
Group: Administration
Posts: 19,519
Joined: 28-September 06
From: Sub Saharan Weather Cloud, South Africa
Member No.: 10,376
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QUOTE (lilyclementine @ Jun 26 2009, 03:56 AM) Greetings and Salutations!
(God, I feel like I'm in a support group or something...okay, that was a stupid remark--I AM! ...but still. It really has that feel of, "Hi, my name's Clementine, and I have the crazy.")
Anywho, I guess that you could call me depressed. I've never been diagnosed with depression, and I've never been to see a mental health physician. However, I know that there's something not right about me. I have no joy in life, am easily angered, and feel incredibly guilty all of the time. The only way that I seem to be able to deal at all with these feelings is by cutting myself. I know that this isn't healthy, mentally or physically, but it's almost like I'm letting out the bad feelings and punishing myself all at once (feelings of guilt and anger--you know)
I suppose I ought to provide a little self history. My grandfather, mother, uncle, and one of my cousins are all manic depressive, and my eldest sister has mild Asperger's. I myself am usually a bubbly, brash, and joyous 17-year-old. I just finished my freshman year of college and it was probably the best year of my life. However, this summer, especially in the past month or so, I find myself losing hope in everything and becoming very angry and confined-feeling.
There are many things that I think could be contributing to this depression. I'm currently in a relationship with a young man that I met at school; we live eight hours apart when not at school. In addition to being my boyfriend, he's also my best friend, and I miss him terribly. Of all the reasons that I might be depressed, this is probably the least important. More important is the fact that, right now, I haven't enough money to pay for next semester of college. I was raised by my grandparents on Social Security, and thus have very little money. Even with academic scholarships and federal/state grants, I'm still quite short. The idea of not being able to go back to my college in the fall sickens me, to be honest.
Of all the factors that could be contributing to my depression, my grandparents' current health situation is probably the worst of it. My grandmother has MS, and the summer heat makes her very weak. She can't stand for long periods of time and can't hold a job or go shopping or work in her garden at all. My grandfather has terrible heart problems, and is also aging very poorly. He forgets how to do simple things and sleeps most of the day. I don't blame them for making me depressed, not at all; it's just that I take up a lot of the slack in housework and caretaking. Financially, my grandparents only survive on Social Security and thus fall deeper into debt every month. Should something happen to one of my grandparents, there wouldn't be enough money to keep my childhood home, which is another thought that disturbs me deeply.
I'm really sorry for taking up so much space with problems and issues that really aren't that severe. I honestly feel very selfish for taking up so much space with such trivial things. But I would like to know how I ought to deal with my feelings of depression and guilt. I don't think that I ought to tell my grandparents with the way that their physical health has been, and I can't tell my sister or mother because they both have mental problems of their own to deal with and it doesn't seem fair to dump mine on them, too. I have always been known as the "sane one" in my family. Kind of our "last, best hope," if you know what I mean. But now, with me being all depressed and stuff, I feel like I've let my family down. Right now, they mostly just think that I'm grumpy or PMSing.
Basically, the only reason that I joined this forum is so maybe someone can give me some constructive ways to deal with my depression. I know that I should probably see a professional, but that would mean that I'd have to tell someone that I'm depressed and harming myself. I don't want to commit suicide, because I know that things will get better sometime; I just feel the need to cause myself pain.
Thank you for reading all the way through my stupid, kind of selfish rant about my "problems." It would mean a whole lot to me if you would reply, even just saying "Hi."
Blessings to all,
Clementine Hi and Welcome to DF Clementine You are definitely not selfish or taking up space. We are here to support you. You are in a tough place at the moment and I am glad that you can see that one day it will get better. There are so many ways to deal with your depression. You may want to look in One Step at a Time, for motivation and coping skills. You may also find the Self Injury Room helpful. It is password protected, please pm any moderator or Admin for the password. Please make yourself feel at home Trace
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Listen in deep silence. Be very still and open your mind.... Sink deep into the peace that waits for you beyond the frantic, riotous thoughts and sights and sounds of this insane world. - A course of miracles.
True beauty must come, must be grown, from within.... - Ralph W Trine.Faith is the true belief we have in hope and hope is the thing that keeps us going to have faith
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Jul 1 2009, 09:32 PM
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Newbie
Group: Newbie
Posts: 5
Joined: 1-July 09
From: Canada
Member No.: 38,262
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Hi everyone.
I actully just found this forum when I was googling. I was just trying to find out whether or not doing an MRI could tell me if I have a hormonal imbalance in my brain or something tangible that makes me so depressed.
Then I actually read a few (well actually a lot) of the discussions on here and decided to join; it seems like many people here feel the way I feel, which is some comfort since I haven't told anyone around me that I'm depressed. I think people may have an idea, but they don't know to what extent.
Any way, just hoping this group will be proactive for me as I try to figure out some issues. and learn from others.
Ciao.
And thanks for advice.
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Jul 2 2009, 01:59 AM
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Administrative Assistant
Group: Administration
Posts: 19,519
Joined: 28-September 06
From: Sub Saharan Weather Cloud, South Africa
Member No.: 10,376
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QUOTE (Vanna @ Jul 2 2009, 04:32 AM) Hi everyone.
I actully just found this forum when I was googling. I was just trying to find out whether or not doing an MRI could tell me if I have a hormonal imbalance in my brain or something tangible that makes me so depressed.
Then I actually read a few (well actually a lot) of the discussions on here and decided to join; it seems like many people here feel the way I feel, which is some comfort since I haven't told anyone around me that I'm depressed. I think people may have an idea, but they don't know to what extent.
Any way, just hoping this group will be proactive for me as I try to figure out some issues. and learn from others.
Ciao.
And thanks for advice. Hi and Welcome to DF Vanna I am glad that you found us. It is a wonderful, supportive community, where you will be understood. There are many members that have had a MRI. It can be such a comfort knowing that you are not alone and being understood. Please make yourself feel at home. Trace
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Listen in deep silence. Be very still and open your mind.... Sink deep into the peace that waits for you beyond the frantic, riotous thoughts and sights and sounds of this insane world. - A course of miracles.
True beauty must come, must be grown, from within.... - Ralph W Trine.Faith is the true belief we have in hope and hope is the thing that keeps us going to have faith
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Jul 2 2009, 05:20 PM
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Just Registered
Group: Just Registered
Posts: 1
Joined: 2-July 09
Member No.: 38,286
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QUOTE (Forum Admin @ Jun 3 2009, 11:53 AM) This is the place to introduce yourself in Depression Central and to tell us what brings you to DF. If you have any questions, please send a PM to any moderator as we look forward to getting acquainted with all of you! Hello, I'm a 17 year old girl who just signed up. I've been looking for a place to talk through some of my problems, and I'm hoping I've finally found a good site. I shouldn't complain too much, I have a wonderful family and a lovely home, but for 4 years now I've been through spats of depression. I haven't been diagnosed, but Bi polar disorder runs in the family, as well as depression. So who knows? I might be a listed basketcase yet. The root of my depression seems to be tied to my academic achievments. I have a tough future ahead of me and my recent ACT results have shown me that my dreams are about to come crashing down. I give everything towards my future, but it just doesn't seem to be enough, nothing I've been through before hurts quite like this. I'm the girl who had dreams of excavating Velociraptor bones in the Gobi Desert, hah. Thanks to my failure, I'll be lucky if I get to stare at a poster of the Gobi while sleeping in a cardboard box. I'm trying to dig myself out of this self-made pit, but I could use a little help with the shovel.And now, after seeing this site, I'm a bit hopeful that I can still turn things around. My many thanks go out.
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Jul 3 2009, 02:09 AM
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Administrative Assistant
Group: Administration
Posts: 19,519
Joined: 28-September 06
From: Sub Saharan Weather Cloud, South Africa
Member No.: 10,376
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QUOTE (Claire De Lune @ Jul 3 2009, 12:20 AM) QUOTE (Forum Admin @ Jun 3 2009, 11:53 AM) This is the place to introduce yourself in Depression Central and to tell us what brings you to DF. If you have any questions, please send a PM to any moderator as we look forward to getting acquainted with all of you! Hello, I'm a 17 year old girl who just signed up. I've been looking for a place to talk through some of my problems, and I'm hoping I've finally found a good site. I shouldn't complain too much, I have a wonderful family and a lovely home, but for 4 years now I've been through spats of depression. I haven't been diagnosed, but Bi polar disorder runs in the family, as well as depression. So who knows? I might be a listed basketcase yet. The root of my depression seems to be tied to my academic achievments. I have a tough future ahead of me and my recent ACT results have shown me that my dreams are about to come crashing down. I give everything towards my future, but it just doesn't seem to be enough, nothing I've been through before hurts quite like this. I'm the girl who had dreams of excavating Velociraptor bones in the Gobi Desert, hah. Thanks to my failure, I'll be lucky if I get to stare at a poster of the Gobi while sleeping in a cardboard box. I'm trying to dig myself out of this self-made pit, but I could use a little help with the shovel.And now, after seeing this site, I'm a bit hopeful that I can still turn things around. My many thanks go out. Hi and Welcome to DF Claire It is wonderful to have you here. You sound very intelligent and I am sorry that you are suffering with depression. With an accurate diagnosis and the right treatment and support, you can still realize your dreams. I don't believe in giving up, eventually you can find a way. I hope that we can help you to find it. Please make yourself feel at home. Trace
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Listen in deep silence. Be very still and open your mind.... Sink deep into the peace that waits for you beyond the frantic, riotous thoughts and sights and sounds of this insane world. - A course of miracles.
True beauty must come, must be grown, from within.... - Ralph W Trine.Faith is the true belief we have in hope and hope is the thing that keeps us going to have faith
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